Tag Brain Dump

End of Summer Spring Cleaning

Michael 11 Comments

Perhaps it’s because it is the end of summer and I am naturally doing some brain cleaning (I always empty my brain as the seasons change) (don’t you) but even though I recently de-cluttered, I still have more random thoughts I need to clear out. Maybe even more randomer than usual.

Last week was a busy few days for my mail carrier. Every day (Sunday and holiday excluded) he brought me nearly a handful of solicitations for credit cards and personal loans. Here’s what I think happened. The week before I had made a fairly large purchase and was offered a same as cash for a year deal if I opened an account with that store. I could have paid cash but I more likely would have used a credit card and stretched it out over a few months anyway, so why not use their money and save the interest. Now I think that turned on some switch and all the algorithms got together and said “Hey! We got a live one over here! Let’s get him now while he’s in a spending mood!” For as much as I detest spam email and unwanted phone solicitations, regular old junk mail doesn’t bother me. For one thing, it gives the post office some income, and I’m going to recycle it so it’s not like that paper is wasted. But what is annoying me are all the envelops that come with the little windows and you can see “to the order of” and then your name through them, yet when you open it and unfold the letter it tells you “This is NOT a check.” Well then, stop telling it to do something to my order, like I don’t know, maybe pay. Sounds like a clear-cut case of liar, liar pants on fire to me!

This reminds me of something you may not know about your letter carrier. The National Association of Letter Carriers sponsors a program to keep an eye on older Americans through the USPS Carrier Alert Program. The carrier places a placard in the mailbox to alert all carriers to watch for signs of distress such as accumulating mail. If they notice anything unusual they will try to connect with the resident or notify local social service agencies of their concern. Interested parties can inquire if the program is available in their area by asking at or calling the local post office.

Did you see in the news last week that Nany Pelosi is planning on running for office again. She’s 84! Did you see in the news last week that Mitch McConnel hosted another episode of the Twilight Zone. He’s 81. Let’s not even talk about the guys who want to be President. Don’t these people ever retire. Have they no hobbies to occupy their remaining minds, no friends to meet at McDonalds for coffee? And it’s not just the politicians. Harrison Form is out exploring at 81! Eric Clapton just began a new world tour at 78! The Rolling Stones just released a new studio album. The band is 61 years old. Mick Jagger started with the band when he was 19 and he is still performing. I’ll do the math for you. (Hmm, I have a calculator somewhere nearby.) Let’s see… 61+19 = EIGHTY FREAKING YEARS OLD! Maybe he’d like to run for Senate over here. We could use some young blood. I’m 67 and I’ve been retired for 5 years. Sort of. I admit I still work a day or two a week, but my pension is being handled by the firm of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe and to be honest, I like eating. I’ll like eating at 81 too. But I’ll want a few days off to enjoy dinner for gosh sakes!

Speaking of old people, I saw an article from NBC News stating seniors were the victims of internet scams in 2022 to the tune of $3.1 billion dollars. That’s almost the net worth of the average US Senator. Somebody please tell me the collective members of both houses of Congress are actually doing something besides trying to get re-elected. Yeah. I didn’t think so either.

My daughter has a dog. He’s a cute dog. Around here people are so used to seeing him that not many IMG_7850people make a fuss over him. He was recently on vacation (just him, but the humans went along to carry his food and toys), and when they returned she told me everybody was fussing over him and he just ate up all the extra attention. He’s cute and all that, but to be the center of attention for a week in places where people generally went to soak up sights, see magnificent architecture, swim in the ocean – that’s where he was high point of perfect strangers’ days. And I get it. It’s his coloring. If you put a gold car in the middle of a show room of black and gray cars, they could be BMWs and Mercedes and people will still be drawn to the different one, the gold one, even if it is a 40 year old Pinto.

Okay, my brain feels lighter now. Thank you for your help!

There is no reason the world must be black or white. We come up with some good reasons to embrace the many shades of gray in life and take the first step in creating a more colorful world in the most recent Uplift! Take a look!!

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It’s that time again

Michael Leave a comment

Once upon a time they lived happily ever after (2)Did you notice we shifted time last week? Most of us. If you didn’t notice then you probably picked up on it if you were on social media, read any newspaper editorials, and tuned into a television or radio talk show as we once again took part in the semi-annual “why do we have to change the clock let’s stay on daylight saving time all year long” debate. Apparently in the last five days, traffic accidents have gone up 13%, hearts attacks increased by more than 50%, and two more glaciers have disappeared. I don’t know about the glaciers but the other stuff indeed I’ve read with my own eyes. Personally, I don’t care about whether we do or don’t have daylight saving time (and yes, that is the correct nomenclature regardless of the bazillion people who say daylight savings time). What I don’t understand is why if all these people are invoking that it is not natural to shift time twice a year are not also invoking a steady diet of natural, AKA standard time. Apparently they don’t want to be bothered with changing time but enjoy the extra hour of daylight at the end of the day rather than the beginning. The other thing I don’t understand is that 19 states have legislature pending to adopt year round daylight savings time and one to adopt standard time as the, um, well, standard time. That, by my rudimentary grasp of mathematics equals 20, and 20 from 50 equals 30 states who don’t care. Thirty is greater than twenty so invoking the age old democratic dictum that majority rules, let’s just leave it all alone. (Of course, exceptions to old dicta are made for former Presidents who can’t count.)

It’s that time again doesn’t mean the only thing we have to discuss this week is time. No, that’s just the warm-up. The main event is that it’s that time again to clear the desk of all the little sticky notes of stuff that has to be mentioned before the weight of them buckles the left front desk leg. For instance, did you know:

Pennsylvania’s state senate just passed a bill, now to go to the state house for debate, eliminating the need for a permit to carry a weapon, either open or concealed. Actually firearms, not all weapons. Apparently somebody has been reading only part of the Second Amendment again. From a news article, proponents of the bill said, “law-abiding gun owners should not need the government’s permission to carry a firearm.” I’m writing my state senator tomorrow insisting he introduce legislation saying that law-abiding citizens should not need the government’s permission to drive a car, own a car, practice law, medicine or cosmetology, be a nurse, pharmacist or barber, bury people, cremate others, or drive school busses filled with our future bullies, er leaders. And we certainly don’t need the government’s permission to set our clocks twice a year.

Also in the news: Dixie State University is close to changing its name, one often associated with the Deep South and slavery, but not without local opposition. It seems the name has a lot of support because the region has no history of slavery but that “Dixie” references its attempt to become a major cotton growing area outside the Deep South in the late 1800s. So now you’re confused also. Well maybe this will clear things up. The proposed new name of the college is Utah Tech University. Who knew Utah was a big cotton grower?

Circling back to Pennsylvania: An attorney was having difficulty navigating his way through the metal detector at the Allegheny County Courthouse. After removing his coat and emptying his pockets of wallet, coins, and keys, and still setting off the detector he asked the guard to “wand” him because it was his suspenders that were causing the alert. He knew that because he almost always is stopped there because of his suspenders. Apparently the guard was not impressed with His Dapper-ness and instructed him to take off his suspenders which the now less than dapper lawyer did along with the trousers said suspenders were supporting, and passed through the metal detector in socks, shirt, underwear, and apparently a good measure of attitude. The attorney was charged with disorderly conduct. A newspaper article detailing the incident reported the lawyer stated, “(the) security guard “got in my personal space” and demanded that he take off his suspenders or leave. (The attorney) said he was frustrated and did not want to be late for his pro bono work representing people in the family court.” Perhaps the next time he is off to do his pro bono work for the people he may want to invest in a belt. No word on if he was already late because he incorrectly reset his watch earlier in the week.

Happy Veterans’ Day to me and many many many many many others. Every now and then I have to remind myself that I really am a veteran. I’m not permitted to claim protected veteran status thanks to an executive order dating back to the Obama administration conferring said status only to those having served during combat or awarded the Armed Services Medal which was established on June 1, 1992. I was separated in March 1992 with no combat duty.

I think that’s enough although I could mention how Prince Harry claims to have forewarned of the Capitol riots, that Dr. Oz, an Ohio Native and a current New Jersey resident is mulling a run in the Pennsylvania 2022 Senatorial race, or that a cow closed a major roadway in England for an hour, a morning rush hour, while 10 police officers attempted to, ahem, corral the bovine. I thought cows jumped over the moon, this one jumped over the fence. And if that cow was planning on a trip to the moon, or at least to the International Space Station, she would be doing it in a diaper, just like the returning astronauts had to wear on their eight hour trip home because the toilet in their SpaceX capsule was broken. Not to worry that we didn’t get to these. There will be more time again some other time again for more of that time again.

Brain Dump, Part Waytoomany

Michael 6 Comments

Ladies and gentlemen and all varieties in between, it’s another edition of Clear. Your. Mind.

Yes boys, girls and undecided, now it’s that time again to empty the mind of all the useless, senseless, often humorless, and always commonsense-less bits of information clogging my brain and causing cranial constipation.

I don’t know if this is a national thing or just for the locals here who have a hard time leaving home without loaded guns in their carry-ons. I noted a number of times the alarming rate that loaded handguns are confiscated at airport TSA security lines. After the security screeners snagged 5 loaded weapons in a 7 day period and 29 in 40 weeks, the local paper reported on the local office of the U. S. Attorney’s Office announcement that anyone henceforth found attempting to enter the airport secure areas so armed will be relieved not just of their rods but their permits to carry said weaponry.  Interestingly a poll appearing in the same paper indicated 35% of those questioned felt this punishment was too harsh. One comment included, “How will the district attorney feel when somebody’s family is hurt after he took away their protection.” Hmm, let’s see. These bozos, err, honest gun permit holders whom claim they meant not to carry a loaded gun through security, they merely forgot the guns were in their carry-ons. Yet we are to believe those bozos, err strong protectors of family sleep with their carry-ons under their pillows ready to defend family or fortune.

The defense in the trial of the bozo, err alleged future convicted mass murderer of 11 people and injurer of another 6 at the Tree of Life Synagogue shooting in October 2018, wants anti-Semitic statements made by him at the scene disallowed because they were made while he was receiving medical care and is therefore protected health communication. Hmmm, and someone went to law school to come up with that.

A recent letter to the editor in one of the local papers expressed dismay at government vaccine mandates. Politicians have no business making medical decisions, then went in to express support and admiration for Texas Governor Greg Abbott for banning vaccine mandates. Hmm. Isn’t not doing something a medical decision too – or maybe bozos, err governors don’t qualify as politicians?

But the brain isn’t filled with only bozo-ish occurrences. I also have to try to eliminate the mental picture of girding my loins, which apparently is really a thing as noted in The Art of Manliness (oy), see 👇

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Mental Meanderings – Get ’em while they’re hot!

Michael 5 Comments

A collection of things I saw/thought/wondered about/shook my head over last week.

I read a new car review. The reviewer loved the car, its handling, style, performance, gas mileage, comfort. Everything about the car. But he could not recommend it because the now ever present touchscreen in the middle of the dash becomes just a screen when the car is put in gear. Apparently the manufacturer values safety and disables the touchscreen function and you have to use either the fingertip controls on the steering wheel or the voice recognition. While I’m driving, other than driving type things like switching on a turn signal or operating the pedals and steering wheel, the only controls I might need to reach are radio station or volume, window control, or possibly to shout “Answer!” to accept a connected phone call but that’s quite rare. What is this guy doing that is so involved or intricate that it cannot be handled without pawing all over a mobile tablet? While moving?!

There was another gun found at the local airport security section. Once again the dipstick trying to board an airplane while toting a loaded firearm used the excuse, “I forgot it was in my bag.” I’m all for innocent until proven stupid and all that, but isn’t the admission of stupidity enough to take these people immediately out to tarmac and have the next arrival land on them?

There are at least 4 states where audits, legislative initiatives, and/or court cases are still questioning/contesting the results of last fall’s Presidential election. I applied for a job in 2009 and didn’t get it. I’m sure the interview notes were switched and somebody stole that job from me. Can I get one of the of the legal wizards behind these election follies to take my case.  I bet their last dollar that I probably have a better chance of winning.

It was 96 degrees where I was yesterday (which is actually where I am today and just about every day). (I don’t know why I felt the need to clarify that but… .) Yesterday was the first day of summer and summer is usually hot but three days prior it was 45 degrees! Doesn’t Mother Nature ever get whiplash from these dramatic swings?

HotSpeaking of summer. Sunday was the first day of summer but not the first full day. That’s today. Summer in the eastern time zone in the US began at 11:31pm, Sunday June 20. That has to be q great job. Figure out when summer start. How much do you think that pays.  Anyway, because summer did not start until after 11 last night, when it was 96 degrees outside my car, technically it was still spring! I’m sorry but that is just too hot for spring. Somebody find a lawyer and get the courts working to revoke that temperature.

Still speaking of summer, am I the only one who remembers when all the calendars labeled June 21 as the first day of summer. Now it can happen anytime between June 20 and June 22. All this exactness about when the seasons start began around the same time the government declared Area 51 off limits. It sounds fishy to me. Somebody should look into that.

Autumn begins on September 22 this year. That’s 94 days after Summer began. Summer is one of four seasons and should comprise one-fourth of the year. One fourth of 365 is 91.25 days. Summer is almost 3 days longer than it should be fairly allocated. No wonder there’s global warming!

Last week a business man in a Florida town I never heard of bought a small building from the town to use as a fitness center. Somewhere along the way when checking with the county about the property he discovered the deed included not just the building and the land it sat on but also the town’s water tower behind the building. Somebody was supposed to split the property and transfer only the small portion of land the building sits on, didn’t, and when the deed was recorded in the county office, the would be fitness trainer got it all. Naturally he didn’t want it. I mean, hydration is important when exercising but there is a limit to how much water one can take in! Long story short (too late) they got the paperwork sorted out and he deeded to water tower back to the municipality. And was charged $10 to do so! Wait. What? The town couldn’t swing the ten bucks without raising water rates? Quick, get another one of those lawyers working on the election. This guy has a better case than that fellow down in Palm Beach. I think he should his $10 back. That’s a steal that should be stopped.

Thank you. My brain feels much lighter now.

Oh, if anybody is wondering, and from the poll results I’d say not, it looks like I have to decide for myself how often to turn out this drivel. You guys don’t like answering surveys, do you?