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Thanks Again

Michael Leave a comment

It’s Thanksgiving again.  Happy Thanksgiving.  Did something happen earlier this year that makes you particularly thankful at this time of the year?  Probably.  Some might be very dramatic.  Somewhere someone was spared from certain death in a horrible fiery one car crash and is thankful to have made it through another year.  Some might be almost unnoticeable.  That person who tossed an extra dollar in a child’s collection can to pay for holiday meals for those who wouldn’t otherwise have one and give thanks every day that they made it through another day.

In past years we’ve tried to find all those who can’t take a day off because they are essential to keeping things running smoothly while others take the day off and often never notice those still serving.  They are amazing stories and deserve special thanks.  (See “Thank You,” Nov. 24, 2011 and “Thank You, Again,” Nov. 22, 2012.)

Now those are the easy “thank you”s.  The hard ones are for the rest of us.  The holiday may be called ThanksGIVING but if not for what was GIVEN we can’t appreciate the joy of being special to someone and a target of his or her special gratitude.  What have you done that someone can thank you for?

Each of us has an amazing story since last year’s celebration and a special thank you to give at this year’s.  The really amazing stories are in the special thank you that you have been given.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

Him again?

Michael Leave a comment

Today, a mini-rant.  We, as most of the world, are trying to make ourselves better people.  Persons?   We do good for our friends, neighbors and co-workers.  We give to charities.  We contribute to our local food bank.  We let trucks pull in front of us.  We’re nice people wanting to be nicer.  Isn’t everybody?

Two things nice people do are practice patience and exhibit tolerance.  Yet there are some folks that try even the most patient person’s tolerance.  These are the behaviors we’ve noticed again over just the past few weeks and the ones we can do without while we’re being nice to the rest of the world.

The clerk trying to make life easy for him or her and damn the customer.  Recently He of We was checking out at one of his favorite stores when at the end of the transaction instead of the computer cash register printer spewing forth the printed record of his purchases it made an awkward sound, shimmied a bid, then did nothing.  The clerk said that printer had been giving him problems all day and did He really want a receipt.  “Not if you’ll be available to stand up for me if I should have to come back with an unwanted item within 30 days and with a receipt.’’  The clerk then proceeded to repair the printer which apparently meant re-loading the paper properly.

The boss who gleefully reminds the workers who’s the boss.  Whether after a meeting, lunch, or a special celebration, there is a boss who will remain anonymous whose call to return to the business of taking care of business is “back to your holes and do something.”  Not a particularly well taken suggestion particularly when some of those being spoken to have windowless offices down a blind hall.  (That’s his good point.)

The guy who abuses the express check-out lane.  We’ve brought up this one before and we’re not talking about someone with 13 or 14 items in a 12 item lane.  We mean the person who pulls up a loaded cart with 30 or 40 items.  These people know the rules but they also know that the cashier isn’t going to say anything lest he or she (the cashier) ends up with an unsatisfied customer.  Instead, the overly patient cashier waits until the next person in line is up and apologizes for the inconvenience.

The party at the restaurant who continues to use the table for 30, 40, even 60 minutes after paying the check.  We’ve mentioned how we don’t wait for food and encourage everyone to practice table waiting restraint.  If it’s more than a 15 or 20 minute wait, there’s probably another restaurant nearby with the same menu.  Spread your wings.  What we never conjectured was that the waits are caused by people who consider their tab and tip admission to their table for the evening.  If you aren’t finished socializing after the coffee and deserts move to the lounge, a local bar, or somebody’s house for goodness sake.  (Thanks to Daughter of She for bringing up this brand of irritant.  She was waiting at a restaurant where the hostess told her and company of the reason for the wait.  That should have signaled the end of that wait!)

As we said, we’re trying to be nicer than we already are.  Can’t everybody?

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

Fallen Back

Michael Leave a comment

If you live anywhere in or out of the United States that recognizes Daylight Savings Time then you probably know we lost that gem yesterday morning at 2am.  If you missed it, consider this your reminder.  He of We recalls an employee who wasn’t scheduled to work until the Tuesday after a time change (which change he doesn’t recall) and said employee showed up an hour off shift.  Makes you wonder what he did for those two days.  Or not.

This past Spring we spoke longingly for the entrance of DST (see Springing Forward, March 7, 2013 in House and Home).  We noted then that the vast majority of people respond positively to light.  That’s about to change with the big change.  We’ll soon be making our ways to and from work in the dark, rooting for the morning paper in the dark, and hoping that lump was just the morning paper that we hadn’t retrieved when returning to our driveways in the dark.

In fact, we think some of the negative change has already happened.  Have you noticed more people over the past several weeks asking if that week’s Saturday was the one when we turn our clocks back?  Were people starting to grumble about the shorter days before the big hour-long shortening?  In our neck of the woods (which is really our neck of the suburbs) the last day of Daylight Saving Time saw sunset at 6:15pm.  That’s quitting time, not sunset time!

We appreciate the extra end of day daylight that DST gives us.  There are probably just as many who appreciate the extra start of day daylight that Standard Time provides.  Or not.  And then again, they could be wrong.  Sorry about that.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

No Two Are Alike

Michael Leave a comment

Lately we’ve been finding ourselves saying a lot, “She’s a flake, but really nice,” or “He a nice guy but flakey as high fiber breakfast cereal without the milk.”  We think we’ve figured out why.   They are the same!  Flakey and nice have the same attributes.  Check this out.

The really nice person is the one who says hello to everybody he or she passes.  The flake is the one who talks to complete strangers.

The really nice person is the one who smiles at whoever gets on the elevator.  The flake is one who always has that smile on his or her face and you can’t figure out why.

The really nice person is the one who takes impeccable messages at work even spelling the caller’s name correctly.  The flake is the one who’s always telling you in the lunch room that they know everybody you know/used to work with/went to school with/services your car.

The really nice person is the one who is always ready to help anyone move a box, a piece of furniture, or a side by side refrigerator.  A flake is the one who is always asking what you have in that box.

The really nice person will lend you his or her umbrella when you’re leaving work early and the clouds are starting to thicken.  The flake is the one with the psychedelic paisley print umbrella.  In golf size.

The really nice person always laughs at your jokes even when you know they aren’t funny.  The flake is the one who always laughs.  At anything.  Anytime.  Even during staff meetings with the big boss from out of town.

The really nice person “likes” your post on Facebook about trying to find the owner of the lost cat.  The flake has 37 cats.

See, they’re really the same person.  But that’s ok.  The world can use a few more nice people even if they are a little flakey.  And when you get down to it, the world can use a few more flakes to balance out the people who really do understand high fiber diets.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Everybody, Hit the Road! Oh, Look. They Already Have.

Michael Leave a comment

You know we don’t just pull stuff from the Internet and repeat it.  We’re always looking for the reason, the story, the lesson.  Well, ummm, this one from the Associated Press has none of that.  But it sure is fun to read.

A New Mexico man faces multiple charges after police say he was having sex with a woman while driving drunk and crashed, ejecting the woman from the vehicle.
The Albuquerque Journal reports the 25-year-old man was found with one shoe on and his shorts on inside-out Monday night after he wrecked his Ford Explorer in Albuquerque.
Police say his female passenger was found naked outside the SUV after being ejected. She had deep cuts to her face and head.
Authorities allege he tried to drive away after the crash and leave his passenger behind, but a witness grabbed his keys from the ignition. He also allegedly tried to hide from responding officers behind a cactus.

So tell us, what have we learned from this?

When trying to get it on while on the road, be sure to get your underwear on correctly.

Female passengers should always keep at least a light sweater for those unexpected airborne moments.  A crash helmet may also come in handy.

Check with “What Not to Wear” before going out with only one shoe.  It could be suitable for certain events and may beef up an otherwise questionable alibi.

It’s bad manners to leave your date on the side of the road.

But, just because there are lessons to be learned from this experience doesn’t mean that they have been.  We move from New Mexico to Florida to review the new definition of auto-erotica reported by the Sarasota Herald Tribune::

Two individuals were charged with misdemeanors after a police officer reportedly caught them having sex in a moving car.
The officer spotted a blue Hyundai driving erratically on Hyde Park Street on Thursday and turned on his emergency lights to see if the driver needed help.
The car suddenly pulled across the road and came to a stop. When the officer went to the driver’s door, the couple quickly tried to pull up their pants.
They had been sitting together in the driver’s seat and “it became obvious that they had been engaged in sexual intercourse,” the officer wrote in an arrest report.

When will they learn?  Our search revealed at least a half-dozen other recent reports of driving while under a completely different influence.  When will they learn is probably never.  What will they learn?  Keep a light sweater handy and don’t hide behind the cactus!

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Public Displays of Affection

Michael Leave a comment

These were spotted on TV, newspapers, magazines, or the Internet over the past week. We would just like to stop and take a moment to give a round of applause to those folks we’ve listed below for facing all that life has to hand out and managing it with grace and dignity. If She of We could she would give each of them the small box that when opened lets you hear an audience clapping.  

  • A young boy hugging his neighbor because he was the first familiar face he saw after a tornado ripped through his neighborhood. 
  • Re-enactors travelling across the country on The National Road in horse drawn covered wagons.
  •  A family smiling around a storm shelter entrance. 
  • An honor guard member handing the folded flag to a new widow. 
  • A couple meeting on a street corner at the end of the work day greeting each other with a kiss. 
  • A woman comforting her brother’s children while sitting in front of their burning home.
  • An Air Force General pinning a Bronze Star on an airman next to his Purple Heart.
  • Volunteers caring for lost pets at an emergency animal shelter in Oklahoma.

They are true public displays of affection.  We used to call it doing the right thing. Whatever you call it, we like it. And we like these who find themselves not just doing the right thing, but making everyone around them feel better than if they weren’t there, no matter if the circumstance is happy or sad.

You can add to the list.  Take a moment and look around.  If you see someone doing the right thing, clap those hands and try doing something completely unselfish for somebody.  Somebody else might be clapping for you.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Don’t Pick in Public!

Michael Leave a comment

Its’ ok to do it, but don’t pick it in public where other people can see you.  No, we don’t mean your nose.  If you want to pick your…. But we digress.

We know it’s ok, there’s even a television reality show about it.  Picking.  Picking stuff. Picking what’s basically other people’s cast-aways.  Do you pick?

We had this discussion the other day.  Is picking, um, too picky for some?  There are different degrees of picking.  The most basic picking is cruising the neighborhood the night before garbage day and picking your pick of the good stuff.  We’ve probably all seen this, often with our own stuff.  He of We has had chairs, a recliner, even an electric stove picked from his driveway before the garbage team had a chance to wrestle them into the back of the truck.  Some things disappear the moment they hit the curb (bar stools, stained cushions, dated finish, still serviceable), some things sat for days mostly because the garbage guys couldn’t lift it into the truck and He of We didn’t want it back in the house (faux NordicTrak skiing exercise machine, like new).

This would make He of We the pickee and has no problem with others picking about his stuff, that is his discarded stuff.  She of We is theoretically fine with being a pickee or a picker, although there has not been a midnight drive through suburbia on Garbage Eve, hence the theoretical.

If you stop to think about it, not many people should be anti-picking.  Particularly today in the land of reuse, recycling, or repurpose we should preserve as much as we can.  Neither of us grew up with silver spoons nearby and both were used to hand-me-overs from relatives and neighbors.  When our families were done with the whatevers, they took another turn about.  It was picking without the pick-up truck.

Today’s picking doesn’t have to be a clandestine canvass ‘round the cul-de-sac.  There are legitimate picking outlets.  The web-site of the aforementioned television show notwithstanding, you can pick in heated or air-conditioned comfort, depending on your location and calendar.  We know them as rummage sales, flea markets, thrift stores, and (minus the air-conditioning) garage sales.  There are even stores that do big business recycling architectural and building supplies.

Is it ok to do it?  And that reminds us, have you ever been stopped for a long time at a red light and looked around at some of the other nearby drivers.  Does it look to you too like some of them just got caught with their fingers up………. But we digress again.

So is it ok to do it?  It would be un-American not to!  Go ahead and pick that up and get your lesson in today’s 3 R’s – reuse, recycle or repurpose.  Now, for those who are really serious, He of We has a couple more exercise machines around the house.  Like new.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

And the winning irritant is…

Michael Leave a comment

A while ago we were listening to the morning radio show on the way to work and they were reading from a survey of things people dislike.  And then they added their own.  We have to say this was a pretty inclusive list and it held some new dislikes.  Gone is the old, I don’t like clowns, I don’t like lines, I don’t like taxes.  Today’s dislikes are not your average pet peeves.

So what are some of the things people don’t like?  Some of them are related to new technology.  One of the new dislikes is that little animation that every network puts on the lower corner of the screen during its television shows.  You know that ones.  Something that’s coming up next or maybe next week.  It starts as a blurb or maybe a blotch.  It grows to a fuzzy representation of whatever or whoever the show is about.  The it grows to encompass the bottom third of the current broadcast, rendering most of the action – and all of the closed captioning if set to “bottom” – invisible.  The characters dance, chat, and otherwise interact all on top of the current show.  Then it retreats to the corner, disappears, and lies in wait until the next show segment.  We hate those too.

Another technological irk is the rash of new-fangled pop-ups on computer pages.  No longer is the cyber advertising world happy with springing a new window open over the one you are reading.  It’s much too easy to click a tab and get back to your screen without much fuss.  Now we have pop ups slide across a page or scroll down the display right along with you. 

She of We is particularly un-fond of a most annoying type of pop up that looks like a page of a newspaper folding over the current display.  We have a local newspaper that is particularly fond of that one.  Did you ever try to find the little “X” to click to close one of those things?  Devilish they are.

Some semi-high tech things that nobody is wild about are crawls on television screens, the fine print voice on radio ads for drugs or mortgages, and cell phones screens that you can’t see in bright light.  

There are also some things that people do that many others don’t care for.  Nobody likes the person who speeds down the highway, changing lanes every other car, and does it within inches of other cars.  And nobody likes to be behind the person at the express checkout lane with a shopping cart full of items.  Nobody likes slow pizza delivery, cold pizza delivery, or crushed pizza delivery.  Not even pizza delivery people.

What does He of We not like?  Wet newspapers.  Somebody has to be low tech. 

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

Michael Leave a comment

We were driving down a country-ish road when jogging on the shoulder toward us was this woman, her legs striding, arms pumping, head bobbing, and face frowning.  It was not a look of determination, nor was it one of concentration.  It was one of displeasure.  It was one that said “I am two miles from home in any direction and I want to be there, not here.”  What we knew, from knowing others who jog along the shoulder of country-ish roads, is that when she gets home there will be a husband, a parent, a partner, a child, or maybe a cat or dog who will very innocently ask , “How as your run?”  And then the lies will begin!

It was fine. I had a great run.  It was the perfect morning to get an extra mile in.  And the check’s in the mail, too.  Truth be told, there are some instances that we know have never had the truth be told of them.   Early morning joggers are amateurs when it comes to the really smooth lies.

Whether it’s taking a little blood out for a blood test, a lot of it out at a blood drive, or getting an annual flu shot, “You’ll just feel a little pinch,” is not exactly truthful for any of them.  We are both blood donors.  We’ve both had flu shots.  And we’re ready to tell anybody who comes that close to us with those sharp objects that we know we’re going to feel more than a little pinch.  Save the lies, tell it like it is.  This is going to hurt but just for a little while and once that goes away you’ll feel much better for it.

Every day millions of people ask another millions of people how they are.   We’re not sure why because we know that an answer is neither required nor expected.  If so, no one would ask “Hey, how are you?” of someone who is getting on the elevator one just got off.  Yet it happens.  The appropriate answer to that question at that time should be “buy high, sell low” just to see if anyone is actually listening.  Quite often, then and at the millions of other times when the inquirer can actually hear the answer, the answer is “Oh just fine, thank you.”  You know you aren’t.  No one is ever just fine.  Ever. 

Whether we’re asking or are being ask, almost always “Do you want help with that?” is followed by “Whew!” when the answer comes back or goes out as no thanks.  Nobody ever really wants to help, at least not with physical assistance.   Maybe if the help needed is of the mental type we’d all be helpers and then when someone asks why we’re just sitting there we can answer with another collective lie, “Yes so, I am working.” 

Just a little bit longer.  No, that’s not a commentary on this post, although here it is truthful.  Most other times that one hears those words it is going to be longer but not by a little bit.  We hear this when waiting for a table at a restaurant, for a meeting with the boss, for a refund check coming in the mail, for the doctor to take his or her turn with us, or for an opponent to finish a Scrabble move.  The funny thing is that everybody on the delivery end of “a little bit longer” knows exactly how much longer it will be.  Why not tell us.  We suppose either they aren’t confident that we find their services worth waiting for or that their services aren’t worth waiting for.

It used to be a little more sensible when business was conducted by letters, phones, and secretaries.  Now to tell someone you never got the message, meeting reminder, or new project deadline in the time of email and shared electronic calendars is a bit far-fetched.  Yet not so far-fetched that by personal experience we can say that just about every time a meeting is missed, a deadline goes by, or a message is ignored, the guilty party still tries to claim ignorance.  “Must be something wrong with the server,” is the new “the check is in the mail”

Can you think of any others?  We’d love to hear them!  Ummm, errrr, let’s do lunch.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

Blame It On The Blinds

Michael Leave a comment

You’ve heard us say it before, weekends are special for us.  Since we don’t have scheduled days off Monday through Friday, we pack a lot into the other 29% of the week.  Sometimes, we don’t start packing until well after we intended to.  Now we have something to blame our late awakenings on.

Some time ago, He of We decided he needed new curtains in his bedroom.  It just didn’t seem to right to get new drapery without changing the other pieces.  So now there are new curtains, new rod, new tiebacks, and the piece most culpable for us losing several hours every weekend, a new blind.  Whether roll-up, push-up, mini, or vertical, blinds are the key to sleep duration.  When He of We selected his new blind it was of the room darkening variety.  And a killer room darkener it is.  Tight to the sides and top of the frame and to the sill on the bottom, there are some 1700 square inches of ‘hold back the light we’re sleeping late this morning’ between him and Mr. Sun.

This is the same set-up on the window during the other days of the week that don’t interfere with bounding out of bed, doing all those morning get ready for work things, and aiming the four-wheeled vehicle down the road.  All before 8am.  But on the weekend, it’s a different story.

On a typical Saturday morning, about 11:00 or 11:30, He of We will call She of We to set the agenda for the day.  Over the course of conversation, someone will ask what progress has made on the mental lists they drafted the night before.  When it’s time for He of We to recount his morning, “Um, I made myself breakfast,” is the unfortunate all too common response.  Why the failure to perform any useful task with less than an hour before the crack of noon.  Now we know why.  Blame it on the blinds!

This can be the remarkable new defense for anybody faced with an unmet deadline, an unfinished task, or a not yet started chore.  Find an inanimate object and shift that blame!  Didn’t get the grass done?  The gas tank was empty.  Term paper not started?  Can’t type with a bandage wrapped around a finger.  Still haven’t started that new exercise routine?  Traffic lights between home and gym were all red.  Every day.

So there you have it.  The world’s permission to overlook, neglect, ignore, or just plain forget stuff.  Just don’t do it with anything important.  It might be a dandy excuse but you still have to hug your special someone, smile at least once a day, and always say “I love you.”  But the next time you miss your tee time, or your tea time, go ahead and blame it on the blinds.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?