Tag Behavior

Day After Day

Michael Leave a comment

Who knows how it happened but recently He of We’s e-mail box has been under a new assault of junk.  It’s not even good junk.  It’s mundane buy this, buy that, enroll in this class, give to this cause, apply for this job, have you thought about a cemetery plot lately?  Fortunately, hidden at the bottom, in the world’s smallest font, usually in the world’s least contrasting color to the background (ivory on white should be illegal) is the “unsubscribe link.”

We suppose most of us would prefer not to be regimented by time, day or year but unfortunately most of us are.  Work schedules, meetings and appointments vie for our attention along with their and other imposed deadlines.  It is the deadline or action time that confuses us most.  Sometimes the measuring of time makes sense as we described in “Apology Accepted” (April 1, 2013).  Other times those times make no sense and we said so in “Past Their Prime” (October 13, 2014).  But now we found a new one that is so quite arbitrary it also should be illegal.  Or at least make somebody feel bad.

Let’s take a little detour to the early days of the home computer.  We’re not sure how many of you might have been around for those challenges but challenges they were.  Everything was written in DOS and written in some weird reverse logic notation where yes meant no and no meant uh oh.  Deleting entire files was a daily occurrence.  Deleting files, erasing directories, reformatting entire disks and drives.  There was no stopping the carnage!

So now, let’s come back to the present and that “unsubscribe link.”  You really don’t want any more e-mails from that sender so you click on it.  At least twice.  Eventually it opens a web page.  There you click on another “unsubscribe link” sometimes having to re-confirm your e-mail address.  At least twice.  Then you click on “Yes” when asked if you are sure you want to do this.  Again, at least twice.  And then you get a message.  “We’re sorry to see you go.  Please allow 21 days for your e-mail address to be removed from our files.”

Twenty-one days?  What are they doing for 3 full weeks?  We know from history that you can delete a record in record time.  In 21 days they can remove all records of all e-mail addresses ever used to send anything to anybody.  From the beginning of computer time.  To be fair, some sites can actually get the job done in ten days.  Usually these are the same sites that will gladly sell you just about anything and guarantee next day delivery.  But it takes a week and a half to delete an e-mail from a list.  Yeah, right.  Let’s all stand and applaud their efficiency.

Twenty one days.  Talk about arbitrary.  Next thing you know, banks will be calling anything that happens after 3pm tomorrow.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Breach My Britches

Michael Leave a comment

We’ve talked about this before and people aren’t listening.  Or maybe they are and they don’t care.  After all, it’s their money if they want to give it away.  It just seems that it’s more the Average Joe and Josephine that are being bamboozled.  And just what are we talking about?  Call it what you will from the polite “breach” to the let’s-be-honest-about-this “theft.”  (And you’re probably figuring out that this isn’t going to be one of those breezy, happy go lucky posts today.)

So, here’s the deal.  Now K-Mart has joined Target and Home Depot and Michael’s and even P. F. Chang’s and Dairy Queen having had their charge systems hacked.  And what about all the other stores owned by the same companies?  If K-Mart’s systems have been compromised what about Sears and Lands’ End and Parts Direct?  Is our money in peril at these stores also?

How do we know these attacks are aimed at the little guys, the you’s and me’s of the world?  Look at the targets, like Target.  Not the sort of places Donald Trump patronizes.  Why us?  Because is seems for the good or bad, our demographic doesn’t pay much attention to our money.  We’re funny that way.  We might make sure our 401K is being matched but we willingly hand over our debit and credit card numbers to any retailer – brick and mortar, on-line, or phone.  It might only be a $10 purchase but it’s usually $10 we don’t have in our pockets and pull out a card for payment.  Stop and think about it.  When was the last time you used real money for gas?

So using money might help to fix things.  If there aren’t cards being used then cards’ information can’t be stolen.  But what about virtual stores?  You can’t stuff a $20 bill into a modem.  We used to use things called checks.  We would order something, send in a check for payment, and the store sent us merchandise in return.  Just like with money!  So you had to wait a few extra days but it beats spending days on end trying to convince the good folks at your local bank that you really didn’t go to Barbados last weekend and spend $2,400 on Jet Ski rentals.

If you think you’d like to get in on this new-fangled thing called money you better do it quickly.  It seems a number of banks are considering doing away with, and some actually already have done away with branch offices.  They could soon be no bank to go to get money.  We’ll still have ATMs but they aren’t any more secure than the stores’ money systems.  In fact, banks have already been hacked.  JP Morgan Chase may be the most recent, and affecting 76 million households the largest, but it’s not the first bank to lose our data.  (See list below.)

Where do you shop?  Big box stores, grocery stores, on-line? This year’s retail “winners” in the data breach contest are the thieves who hacked into Home Depot, Target, Supervalu, Neiman Marcus, Michael’s, E-Bay, and K-Mart.  Where do you bank?  There are too many of them that have been lost to thieves to even think about.  And when you think about banking don’t just think about your debit card.  Where are your credit cards issued, processed, and billed?  Who holds your investments?  Do you have retirement funds sitting somewhere?  And who will be next?  Insurance companies or utilities?

A poll taken by the Travelers’ insurance companies in July of this year discovered that only 23 percent of those questioned worry a great deal about identity theft.  Even though the past year has seen at least a half-dozen major news stories on significant data breaches, this number is actually less than those who worried a great deal about identity theft in May of last year (31%).

So come on now.  Join us and join the folding money brigade.  Do you know where your cash is?

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

(To see our past posts on this topic please enter “Debit” into the search box at the upper right of this screen.  To see the real scary stuff, type in “Bank Data Breach” or “Retail Data Breach” into a search engine, skip the articles and go straight to the comments.  Scary, scary.)

The Top Ten Data Breaches per Bankrate.com (Data from 2013, does not include 2014 incidences.):

Target (affected 40 million card accounts and 70 million customer data for $1.5 billion)
Global Payments, Inc. (1.5 million card accounts for $90 million)
Tricare US Military medical insurance (5 million beneficiaries’ identities stolen)
Citibank (360,000 credit card accounts for $19.4 million)
Sony (100 million users’ identities stolen)
Heartland Payment Services, credit card processor (130 million card accounts for $2.8 billion)
Bank of New York- Mellon (12.5 million customers’ personal data lost during back-up transfer)
Countrywide Financial (17 million accounts downloaded by employee and sold to other lenders)
T. J. Maxx (90 million card accounts for $2.47 billion)
Veterans’ Administration (26.5 million veterans and active duty identities stolen)

Merry Ghosties

Michael Leave a comment

There are 33 days until Halloween.  That’s an important number to keep in mind.  Thirty-three days.  Just last week on a news report, we were told that Americans would spend about $7 billion on Halloween this season.  There is one local couple who won’t be in that spending frenzy.  They were spotted last weekend buying a Christmas tree.  For them, Halloween must have been purchased sometime in July!

We all know that the stores have Christmas merchandise out already.  Folks are perusing the aisles with shopping carts filled with fall decorations and often will stop to ogle the rows of pre-lit, pre-decorated, pre-gifted Christmas trees before moving on to the motion activated ghoul door ornament.  But nobody buys those things yet.  The Christmas trees, not the ghouls.

If people start buying Christmas now where will the analysts be next year when predicting Halloween spending?  They could be out of jobs and then who will buy their door knocker embellishments be they ghoulies or evergreens for them?  If we have any plans on reading how much we’ll be spending on Halloween 2015, we have a lot of shopping to do now for 2014!

To make the predictors close to being right we need to spend about $3 million in costumes, $2 billion in candy, another $2 billion in decorations, and a couple hundred million on pet costumes and goodies.  How do we think we’re going to manage those sums if people are out there already buying Christmas trees?  It’s enough to make you think if you need more eggs for Easter.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Automatically Yours

Michael Leave a comment

It’s funny how much television and radio commercials shape the modern landscape.  But then, isn’t that the point?  Very recently there was a commercial on the radio for remote controlled window blinds for the home.  For a large meeting room or conference center, or for a series of office suites that somebody wants to look all the same from the outside, the remote controlled blind could be, and in some cases probably is, a good idea.  But for your home?  Unless your living room windows are in Jack Nicholson’s house, your blinds probably aren’t that far away from where you’re sitting.

Remote window blinds might seem to be the height of lazy right now, but if we look at some of the remote and automatically controlled conveniences – and some necessities even – we might see how our landscape has changed over the past not too many years.

There could be some of you who have never seen a television without remote control.  There used to be a time when the remote was optional.  It was there but the set still had all of its power, volume, and channel buttons right out in the open.  Before that, if you wanted remote control you had to have children.

Cars are a treasure trove of automation.  Some don’t even need their keys.  You get close to the vehicle and it unlocks, you press a button and it starts, you stop long enough and it stops.  Now that might still be a pretty fancy car but even daily drivers do stuff for their drivers daily.  When was the last time you turned on your car headlights?  Most cars now come with light sensors that automatically turn on the lights when needed and off when not.  They also know to turn off airbags protecting an unoccupied seat.  Doors lock and unlock, trunks and hatches open and close at the touch of the right button.

Automation has been with our major household appliances for years.  Consider the self-cleaning oven.  It’s hard to find one now that isn’t.  Need ice?  Probably your freezer handles that chore on its own.  Generations have grown up not ever knowing when to stop a cycle to put the fabric softener in the washer.  You put the pretreatment, bleach, detergent, and softener all before you start it up and the machine doses them to your clothes at the appropriate times.

Probably someone thought it was laziness when each of these conveniences hit the landscape.  Today, even those critics rely on an inanimate object to get their clothes clean; even the daily jogger isn’t so wrapped up in physical exercise that he or she actually walks across a room to change the channel on a television set.  So blinds that open and close at the push of a button aren’t all that unexpected.  Now the real challenge is for someone to invent blinds that know when to open and close.  Until that happens, if you want to handle that chore remotely you better have more kids.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

And the Band Played On

Michael Leave a comment

Today is Monday.  That means yesterday was Sunday.  That means across most of America people watched football.  Regardless of which players did or didn’t play for whatever thing they did, and regardless of what companies did or didn’t advertise regardless of what players did play even though others didn’t for whatever they did, and regardless if outraged interviewees on television did or didn’t rage on about what should have happened to the players who did and didn’t play, across most of America people watched football.

Here’s something interesting about the days that led up to yesterday.  Whenever a player was questioned about what he or someone else did, the answer would have gotten anyone else fined, fired, jailed, or all the above.  Whether regarding domestic violence, child abuse, assault, driving under the influence, or possession of an illegal substance, the player almost always admitted guilt to the allegation but then went an extra step and said “but it’s not” whatever.  “Yes, I beat my wife but it’s not abuse.”  We’re sorry; did somebody change the English language?  Are the meanings of words different this month than last?  Doesn’t “yes” still mean “yes, I did it” and doesn’t “no” not mean “except in my case”?

We think those players really believe what they are saying.  They really don’t believe knocking a woman unconscious is assault.  They really don’t believe beating a small child is abuse.  It comes from the violence of the sport they play.  And the “players’ little helpers” that they take.  When the job is one of inflicting pain and incapacitating the competition it’s difficult to separate reality from reality.  And just in case that player can’t incapacitate the competition based on a somewhat normal body build, there are steroids to help. Of course they are illegal substances except for the professionals who take them.  After all, they are professionals used to declaring, and being believed when declaring, “Yes, except.”  And it gives them ‘roid rage as the standard excuse for all bad things that are done off the field.  It’s all very convenient.

Yet it’s all still very illegal.  Today, somewhere in America, a couple will have an argument.  They will say things they shouldn’t.  She will turn her back on him.  He will reach out and take her arm to try to encourage her to stay and talk it out.  She will call the police because he “laid hands on her” and he will spend the night in jail.  A far cry from punching her senseless but he doesn’t have the advantage of having thousands of fans cheering on violent behavior from him, perhaps even including his victim.  So violent or not, he gets an all expense stay at the Abusers Astoria while the football player gets people draping signs over the stadium fences declaring their undying devotion to the sot.

Fair?  Of course not.  Expected?  Well, yesterday was Sunday.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

You Gotta Trust Somebody

Michael Leave a comment

This is local news but we’re willing to bet something similar has happened where you live provided you live in the United States of America.  Seems other countries already have this figured out.

Earlier this week the local county council that counsels those who live in the county where we live voted to not include the phrase “In God We Trust” among the other cute sayings along the walls of the room in the county courthouse where the council lives and works on the days they bother to go to work.  It seems they trotted out that old argument, the separation of church and state, once again.  (They realize that the Congress of the United States begins each session with a prayer, don’t they?)  The County Executive made it even worse by trying to explain that even if the council passed that resolution he would have vetoed it since not everyone who lives in the county is a Christian.  Now there’s one soul who needs a lot of remedial Sunday school.

We’ve tried fighting that one with the clear language of those who wrote that Constitution that they meant freedom OF religion, not freedom FROM religion.  Since they never do listen to us we thought we’d at least help them along.  If they aren’t going to trust in God, let’s come up with someone everyone can agree is worthy of our trust.

It seems these guys like other elected officials.  They like to quote predecessors and sometimes even each other during spirited debates.  It sounds too self-serving to put up a banner that says “In County Council We Trust” so we’re going to look at some other elected ones.  School boards are supposed to be above politics and take an oath to be leaders to the children they ultimately serve.  That would be a good choice.  No, wait a minute, it was just a couple of days ago that the president of a local school board was arrested for assault stemming from a  bar fight in which an instructor in her school district was hit over the head with a beer mug by his wife – neither teacher nor board member, whew.  And just a couple days before that another school district’s board member was hauled off to jail on charges of assault and public drunkenness after a fight at a wedding reception.  “In School Boards We Trust” is out.

Judges.  They are fair, honest, impartial.  Yes, we can live with “In Judges We Trust” carved in stone.  Except for the ones who have recently been paroled for everything from taking bribes to using judicial resources to finance re-election campaigns.  Now there is that one judge who gets all the big trials and is pretty fair.  Why it was only two days ago that he wouldn’t allow a deliberating jury from reviewing an exhibit saying they have to rely on their collective memories.  We can change the carving to “In Judges’ Memories We Trust.”  No, that sounds too much like a memorial.

How about we move up the ladder.  If County Council wants to be somebody when they grow up it would be state representatives.  “In the State House We Trust” is a little wordy but it gives people enough time to not worry about the eight of them that are due to be released from prison before the end of this year.  Most of them already have their paperwork in to become registered lobbyists.  We’re certain we can get them to agree to be trustworthy if we can get their names inscribed along with the major catch phrase.  Or not.

Looks like we’re down to our last two suggestions.  There is a local bathroom remodeler whose motto is “A Company You Can Trust.”  We’ll just take a still from one of his television ads, blow it up, and post it behind the county council dais.

Our last suggestion is just to make certain the county council doesn’t ever have to deal with the phrase again and purge it from all of their records.  Once they can figure out how they’d like to get paid, since it is on all of our money, they should be happy as clams.  Or just as steamed.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

A Little Off the Top

Michael Leave a comment

This weekend past was the NFL Week One weekend. It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal.  College football has been going on for a couple of weeks.  High school and midget or little league football might have been happening for close to a month in some places.  And even pro football hasn’t been unheard from with nationally televised pre-season games.  But this was the official week.  The week when football at all levels was played and the games counted.  And there must have been much concern over the summer months because the coaches are all bald.

On Sunday when they spend lots of time aiming the cameras at the coaches along the sidelines during the game that you care about and are watching and all the others that they show during the half-time and post-game reports during and after the game you care about, most of those coaches were hairless.  Ditto for the college coaches on Saturday.  Even on the Friday night local news and in the Saturday morning paper, many of the high school coaches that got some PR time showed off their newly shorn former locks.  Bald we tell you!  They are all bald!

They will say they are making a statement, showing off their toughness, deliberating declaring themselves to be the more testosterone laden version versus the one across the field on the opponents’ benches.  They are the cross between The Rock and Bruce Willis.  Hmmm, let’s look a little closer.

We think they are all shaving their heads because they want to mask their receding hairlines.  For many men, it’s not an easy thing to deal with.  It’s much easier to design a successful pass rush when you look as menacing as the rushers.  Half-time pep talks go over bigger when you just have to grunt and let the bad locker room lighting reflect the sheen from a recent shave.  But when everybody is doing it, it’s not so cool.

We’re estimating close to 75% of the coaches spotted on the sidelines displayed the all over haircut.  (Oddly, those coaches with hair seemed to be wearing hats.)  Where the threat (of whatever) showed when the shaved head was one in a hundred, at 100 out of 100 they are just all the same model.  It is sort of like when the coaches stopped wearing suits on the sidelines and went for golf shirts.  The first few added to their menace repertoire as everyone could see their muscles bulging against the stretchy fabric.  Now they just look ready to hit the late night appetizer specials at the tavern down the street.

So, is the shaved head going to be the new fashion statement for this year’s sideline strollers?  Perhaps.  It’s not necessarily a bad look.  It’s just that those who are sporting it should remember why they favor the clean crown.  And remember that cross between The Rock and Bruce Willis?  Do it enough times and somebody is going to end up looking like a cross between Mr. Clean and Humpty Dumpty.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

Truth in Advertising

Michael Leave a comment

Have you seen the ad on television for a laxative that across the bottom of the screen says “this is an advertisement?”  Really now, is this truth in advertising gone too far?  Is it necessary that every time somebody says something on a television ad that they must be identified as professional or everyday Joe?

Pay attention to the next ads for vitamins, pain relievers, or laxatives as they march across your TV screen.  There in a neatly pressed white consultation jacket is the spokesperson to tell you that the laxative will work gently overnight.  Just so you aren’t too taken away by the efficiency of those who invented said laxative, fine print across the bottom of the screen reminds you that the person in the neatly pressed white jacket is a “doctor dramatization.”  An actor even!  Now you know that he didn’t extoll the laxative’s overnight virtues from years of research but just read the ad copy.

Next, somebody is hawking the latest in floor cleaner.  It could be that she is just a regular Joe (or Josephine).  To be sure the little letters across the bottom of the screen now let you know that the person saying those nice things about the latest mop is being compensated for his or her time to tell you what the ad writers have written.

Labor Day recently gone by traditionally ushers in school starts, fall with its turning leaves, cooler temperatures, and the November general election.  Here, television ads for governor have been running on air throughout the summer.  Now they will only increase in frequency and annoyance.  The two candidates have a handful of different ads to air so that, we suppose, nobody gets too tired seeing the same one over and again.  But the one candidate’s, although with different backdrops, all say the same thing and start the same way.  “Did you see my opponent’s ad with this actress talking about me?”  Gee, we didn’t realize they used actors and actresses in political ads.  Is that important?  If they used real constituents to read the script nobody could keep a straight face for those 30 seconds.

It used to be so much easier when whomever regulates advertising said that a company couldn’t say their car got 100 miles per gallon when it barely got ten, when the hamburger bought at a drive through looked at least a little like the one on television, when the laundry soap got at least some of the stains out.

Now that they’ve taken care of those pesky issues we have to be careful that we don’t confuse an ad with a news report.  Remember the next time you see a person drooling over a frozen dinner on television to check the bottom of the screen and see if it doesn’t say “hungry person dramatization.”  You wouldn’t want to be misled that frozen food is tasty in its own right.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

Reality Bytes

Michael Leave a comment

Every now and then reality gets in the way.  The reality is that He of We was in the hospital for a while and although we prepped a few posts to keep things up during the convalescence, they weren’t enough.  It happens.  Now that things are a bit better we’re going to try to get back on our regular schedule.  If we don’t, you’ll figure it out.  Back to reality!

—–

Our job is hard!  It shouldn’t be.  Staying grounded in reality should be easy, natural, a no-brainer.  Quantum physics is hard.  Criminal defense law is hard.  Matching coupons to weekly supermarket sales is hard.  Love is hard.  Reality?  Easy as pie.  Yeah, right.

When we started this blog reality was easy.  It was everything the reality TV shows weren’t.  Since then, it’s gotten complicated.  Did you know that there is a newspaper syndicate out there that was soliciting, postings, capturing votes for, and awarding prizes for pet selfies?  Who frames the picture?  Who sets the background?  Who works the shutter for Pete’s sake!?  When “they” say pets are people too, nobody really believes them.  Do they?  Even the camera app people?

On the other hand, here is something that reality might have right although we’re not sure why in this case.  Everyone has heard the tale that we should all smile more often.  After all, it takes something like 8,647 muscles to frown and only 2 to smile.  Alright, that’s a little exaggerated but who’s going to count?  The other day, He of We was laying n bed alternating smiling and frowning trying to count muscles.  (What can we say?  He has that kind of time right now.)  After a few rings around that one the score came up that indeed there are many more muscles involved in the frowning process than in smiling.  If you really concentrate at it you can actually feel the muscles take their positions.  Why would we be built this way?  It seems that smiling is much more beneficial than frowning so why is it so much harder?

Even today’s holiday is harder than reality should be.  For 120 years Americans have been celebrating the contributions including economic achievements that laborers make to the country by celebrating Labor Day.  But each year more people end up working that day (this day).  Because it breaks the boundary between summer and fall and off time and school time, Labor Day traditionally is celebrated by sales and clearances as much as by parades and picnics.

So there you have it.  Or them.  A few ponderables about reality.  Some things to think while you’re flipping burgers, smiling at the dog next door trying to get a good picture taken, before heading to the mall to find one last good clearance on some new walking shorts.  We tell you, this job is hard, but somebody’s got to do it!

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

You thought that was politically incorrect?

Michael 1 Comment

Over the years we’ve rarely made specific observations of those people that we might feature in our posts.  There have been many of them but we’ve always spoken to what they’ve done, not who they are.

Our first mention of a real other person came in November of 2011.  We detailed the exploits of a shopper who startled She of We by screaming across a rather large store to a companion shopper.  We mentioned the shopper was screaming in a foreign tongue but we didn’t identify it and didn’t have to.  That wasn’t the story as much as the volume and not knowing the language therefore not knowing whether the scream was because Shopper #1 found a real bargain or a raging inferno.  (See “Clean Up on Aisle Ten,” November 10, 2011)

Throughout the next three years we visited waiters and waitresses that made our day (our favorite can be found at “How would you like your toast?” August 2, 2012), engaged couples becoming married couples in various culture settings (“Weddings Gone Wild…well, sort of,” July 1, 2013), and plane-mates with oversized (!) carry-ons (“We’re On Vacation, Part 1,” September 3, 2012).

In none of these stories did we consider the featured guest’s ethnic or racial background.  It didn’t seem to matter to the story. And if you speak to most people in the world, it doesn’t matter to them either.  Oh but when it comes time to complete a survey or an application for something, those authors delve into backgrounds that would be challenged as politically incorrect if they were to speak thusly in a lunch room of a company doing business with the government.

And there seems to be no consistency to their descriptions.  They may ask the survey taker if he or she is African American, Hispanic, or White.  That gives us one in an uncertain familial background, one as cultural descriptor, and one that’s a race identifier.  What does the white South African who grew up in Chile answer?  Is someone from the Black Sea village of Poti in Georgia just as Asian American as someone who grew up in Da Nang overlooking the South China Sea?  There is no good way to answer.

Is the term White used for those one cannot readily discern an ethnic background?  European American brings us back to a non-descript description but how much difference is there between an Italian American, a French American, and a German American other than what side of the Alps are the coffee shops?  And do any of these people get to use the description if they themselves actually spent no time in the called upon country or is that only available for continents?

We think we have the best idea.  If one is living in America one gets to be an American.  If you’re living somewhere else please check with your country’s version of the ACLU for guidance, then ignore them and do what we say instead.   When you read one of our posts you can’t tell if of whom we are speaking has a particular color skin, speaks with a certain accent, or is good at making ravioli at home.   You can tell if of whom we are speaking makes us smile doing the things that race, color, or national origin can’t control.  Like asking, “How would you like your toast?”

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.