Tag Behavior

Let’s Stay In Touch

Michael Leave a comment

It’s much too early to make any New Year’s resolutions.  (If you haven’t already, you can see our thoughts on New Year’s resolutions at “Revolving Resolutions (Dec. 30, 2013), Resolving to Keep It Real (Dec. 31, 2012), Be It Resolved (Jan. 2, 2012), and/or Be It Further Resolved (March 22, 2012).)  However, it might be just the right time to make a New Year’s Eve resolution.

It was sometime last week when there were five people and four oh-so-smart phones at the table all at the same time.  This was He’s extended family and usually that group can never find any of their phones.  But for some reason, on that day everybody but one (and oddly enough that was the youngest of the group and a true card carrying member of the “Don’t Leave Home Without It As Long As It Is a Phone Brigade”) had his or her cell phone strapped, perched, or holstered onto his or her body or close by.  Miraculously, nobody’s phone made a peep during the meal which is why all of them were at the table at the same time.  But the site of all that electronic wizardry did start a story.  And so it went.

Once upon a time, staying in touch was easy.  If you wanted to speak with someone you called that someone.  Landline and then cell phone calls were an easy push button distance to just about anyone.  If nobody answered there was usually an answering machine or voice mail willing to take a message.  Even as home computing became the norm, e-mail was available and handy for sending large amounts of information or even sharing files.  And thus we managed quite well getting our lunches planned, our rides scheduled, and our points across.

And then the madness struck!

It was even before the smart phone revolution.  Texting.  At first, only the 13-18 demographic texted.  It made perfect sense.  Texts were free.  Calls were still charged by the minute.  Parents knew about every call made.  Parents cared less about texts.  They showed up on bills as numbers of but followed by NC – No Charge.  HW!  (How Wonderful).  As the 13-18 year olds aged, their favored means of communication improved.  Texts became faster and clearer.  And as the texting became easier, the parents and other fogies suddenly realized they too could be saving time and money.  What two better things are there to save.

With the time saved they all became users of Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Linked In, Skype, YouTube, and YouNameIt.  Many, many ways to stay in touch.  Then problems started arising when people started realizing they were on too many services to stay on all of them as much as they wanted.  And thus, each picked a favorite.  All different favorites!  But they rarely shared which was their favored favorite.  So if you want to reach your best friend you have call, leave a message, then text, then private message on Facebook.  At least one of those will be ringing, humming, or vibrating your recipient’s phone.  If all else fails, there’s always e-mail and maybe a landline phone call, possibly to the work number.

So what’s the resolution?  For the callee, everybody should resolve to tell everybody they really want to hear from how to reach them.  And don’t get miffed if someone picks the wrong means.  Stuff happens you know.  And for the caller, make certain you listen to all your contacts and somewhere mark their preferred means of…. No, how about once you send out the message you give your intended recipient enough time to get back before you…. No, make sure you’re using the right platform for the right…. No, how about don’t assume that your favorite means of being gotten hold of is everybody’s favorite…. Oh heck, was it really that important anyway?

Tell you what, have your people get hold of our people and we’ll do lunch.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

The Last Minute – A Special Piece of Real Reality

Michael Leave a comment

Regular readers know that Real Reality strikes on Mondays and Thursdays.  If you didn’t know that it doesn’t make you irregular.  You just have to read more often.  And/or more regularly.  Anyway, for this to show up on a Wednesday you know it must be something special.  Well, tomorrow is something special so that could make today special too.  It certainly makes today down to the wire.  (No race track analogies in 2015.  Three in a row are plenty for any couple of years!)

Regular readers also know that in Realityville, Christmas Eve is not a shopping day.  Christmas Eve has enough of its own tasks and charges.  You have had plenty of shopping days going back to Black Friday Eve (aka Thanksgiving).  Ask any major retailer.  If you’re not done by now you are on your own.  But don’t bother asking any major retailer.  They lie.

Back to Christmas Eve.  Don’t you have more Christmassy things to do today than shopping anyway?

There are Christmas Eve dinners to attend to.  Is the most recognizable Christmas Eve dinner the Feast of the Seven Fishes?  Perhaps so.  An Italian tradition on a day that Italian Catholics abstain from meat, this vigil meal will be served in many households.  In Eastern Europe, many cultures add a couple more meatless dishes to their Christmas Eve dinner to make nine or eleven choices.  Russians prepare twelve selections of fish and grains.  In Germany and Austria, Christmas Eve may be spent preparing carp, potatoes, and salads for dinner after sundown.

You’re not a big eater you say?  Then you’ll probably spend today wrapping all the presents you carefully selected and bought with plenty of time to get under the tree before Christmas.  Did you know that, television families with piles of beautifully wrapped presents under their trees weeks before the big day excepted, most holiday wrapping happens on Christmas Eve.  Much of the gifts planned for destinations outside the home if not wrapped sometime on Christmas Eve, usually during cooking breaks, are wrapped the day before and sometimes the day of the planned giving.

If you happen to be reading this in Sweden you aren’t wrapping your gifts today.  You’ll be unwrapping them since the day you exchange Christmas presents is today!  That would be in Sweden and many other countries where the wrapping happened yesterday in anticipation of exchanging them on Christmas Eve.

In Australia where it’s nice and warm today, many people will be out caroling this evening.  While singing they will light candles together hoping for a clear night that their light can join the stars.

And if your wrapping and cooking and eating and singing all get done early and you are still looking for something to do besides more shopping, today would be a good day to thank God for getting us all through another year.

Merry Christmas.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Being Beholden

Michael 1 Comment

It’s here.  Or soon will be.  It is Friday, December 12, 2014, otherwise known as Ugly Christmas Sweater Day.  (And can somebody please explain why it’s ok to call it an ugly Christmas sweater but to be politically correct we have to wish each other happy holidays?) (But that’s a post for a different day.)  (Thank holidays.)

OK, Ugly Christmas Sweater Day has been officially going on for quite a few years but now seems to be really getting traction.  It could be because there are more television shows with ugly sweater themes, it could be because there are now television commercials with ugly sweater themes, or it could be that there are now commercials for ugly sweaters.  True, you won’t see them in prime time network airspace but they are there.  Plop “Ugly Sweater” into your favorite search engine and see what you get back.  One or two news blurbs and a lot of sales!  If you don’t want to buy you can even rent.

To be sure, Ugly Christmas Sweater Day is not at all about ugly Christmas sweaters any more than ugly Christmas sweaters are about ugly sweaters.  It’s a day to do its best to make you smile your smilest – err, your biggest smile.  🙂   Maybe even more than Ice Cream for Breakfast Day.  (If you forgot, that’s the first Saturday in February.)

To be even more sure, Ugly Christmas Sweater Day is to sweaters and sweatshirts and jerseys what ugly Christmas tie day is to ties and ugly Christmas hat day is to hats and ugly Christmas decorations day is to decorations.  It’s about the people who wear them and their exuberance for the holiday.  (Yes, the holiday – singular, as in Christmas, not the generic holidays – plural, for everyone too ashamed to admit there is something special that happened and is worth commemorating with all the energy befitting an irreplaceable occasion.)  (But that’s still a post for a different day.)  (Thank holidays.)

The people who celebrate Ugly Christmas Sweater Day aren’t interested in whether you think their sweaters are ugly.  Nor their ties or hats or Town Square Christmas trees.  They know they aren’t.  If they were they (the sweaters) would still be on the store shelves.  To them (the sweater wearers) they (the sweaters) are the most beautiful pieces of clothing they (do we really need to keep going) own.  Beautiful because they (sweaters) symbolize the joy and energy they (people) get to feel not just at Christmas but all year long.  Because, let’s even be most sure, you know darn well these are the same people who have an ugly Easter bonnet hiding in a closet for next spring.   And that’s just fine too!

Ugly Christmas Sweater Day, a new tradition worthy of being carried on through the next few generations, or at least the next few weeks.  And it’s so easy.  Find a sweater you think is just too cool to not be shared with everybody you pass on Ugly Christmas Sweater Day.  Wear it and share it.  Repeat.  Why should turkey be the only holiday tradition that returns for several days?

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

McYouWon’tBelieveThisOne

Michael Leave a comment

It was there for a while.  A little while to be sure, but to be sure, it was there.  Or they were there.  Those two words.  Those two words that are almost never heard at a fast food drive through window.  Thank you.  So rare are they that we were certain they had just been substituted by some unfamiliar phrase and thus we posted a page of translations one might find useful when pulling around to Window Number One (“The 21st Century Drive-Through Translator,”  May 8, 2014). Now, however, after a more recent visit to Drive Through Land, he is certain that those words, or lack of them, are iceberg tip zone.

It was a couple weeks ago that he was starved and needed something to eat and needed it fast.  Ahead of him he saw arches and pigtails and crowns.  Didn’t matter where he stopped, they were basically interchangeable.  He pulled into the first one and saw only one mini-van at the speaker.  This should be quick he thought.  Mini-van equals kids, equals kid meals, equals one-two-three ordering.  Wrong!

As he pulled behind the van and lowered his window he caught the sound of the lady ordering loud enough that she could have done so without the speaker set-up.  “…and a bacon ranch salad without the bacon.”  A pause presumably while she read the read-out on the speaker’s screen.  “Not a side salad.  A bacon ranch salad, hold the bacon.”  The response came through just as loud. “That is a side salad with ranch dressing.”  “No it’s not.”  Here is where he should have turned around and moved on to contestant restaurant Number Two.

Eventually the mini-van lady and the disembodied speaker voice came to an agreement of what kind of salad she was going to get (even though nobody really understands why these places serve salads anyway).  She pulled around to Window Number One and he gave his order which the headless speaker person totaled to $4.28.  He reached into his change cup, pulled out a quarter and three pennies, felt for a bill in his pocket hoping to snag either a five or a ten and was relieved to find a ten between his fingers, and made his own way to Window Number One, the very window where the mini-van was still stationed!

“…don’t ever change my order again like that.  If I ask for a salad I want that salad not a little side salad.  I know what you people make on those things.  Is that the phone number to call complaints to.  I’m dialing it now.”  And off to Window Number Two she went, probably misdialing all the way.

He took the now vacated place, the no longer headless voice repeated his total, and he passed over the bill and four coins.  The young lady in the window asked if he wanted his receipt, he said no thank you and waited for his change.  Instead of money she handed him his receipt (yes, the very one he said he didn’t need) and uttered those immortal words, “There you go.”  He continued to wait and when she didn’t get it he tried a verbal cue.  “Hmm, my change?”  “You gave me 28 cents,” she said.  “Yes,” he said, “but not with a four dollar bill.”

He looked up and saw that the mini-van was still at Window Number Two.  He wondered if the mini-van lady was ever a drive through worker.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

Giving Thursday?

Michael Leave a comment

It’s been a week around here.  Quite a week.  Quite a month.  We made it through Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday, and Giving Tuesday.  And let’s not forget the days leading to and away from these occasions.  What do they have in common?  Giving with a side of Guilt.  We can all admit it.  If it wasn’t for the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas, a lot of us would never get the chance to declare “Charitable Contributions” on next year’s tax return.

Around here one of the local television stations has been for years a major sponsor for an annual Thanksgiving food drive. For weeks they would broadcast PSAs encouraging donations to the local food bank to build the coffers as strong as possible for a special Thanksgiving distribution.  They even convinced a local bank to match cash donations physically made at the bank.  The day before Thanksgiving they announced the total amount raised.  An impressive amount but the amount isn’t important.  What is important is that even then, after all the food was packed, the turkeys were ready, and the meals were being prepared, people wanted to know if they could still donate to the food bank.

It was on Thanksgiving morning that the news programs all led off with interviews of volunteers at missions, shelters, kitchens, or what you will call them who open their doors to feed the poor and homeless.  While the organizers told of the number of men, women, and families who would stop in both to serve and be served, the cameras panned the pans of turkey, stuffing, vegetables, soup, and pies.  And on each TV station the intrepid reporter would ask if they had enough volunteers for that day if someone wanted to stop by to help.

The evening newscast on Giving Tuesday made certain that viewers realized that even though it was late in the day there was still time to hit the Internet to find a worthwhile charitable organization to accept donations.  They also had stories on the Salvation Army’s Red Kettle Campaign, the local clothing drives, and the donations car dealers would make to various associations if one test drove or bought a vehicle.

All of these had some sort of sense of urgency to them.  It was as though those who were responsible for these various drives knew that if the public didn’t get around to giving now it could be another year before people gave of their spare change or their spare time.

It might be that this is the time when wallets are opened more regularly but most people recognize that there are hungry people in May just as there are in December.  That a dollar donated to the free energy fund in spring still heats the water as it does in winter.  That a light jacket in April is just as appreciated as a warm scarf in January.

The needy have no season.  Unfortunate circumstances can befall any one any day.  If you didn’t get the chance to donate to your food bank, coat drive, or other charity this week, there will always be time.  It might have a catchy ring to it but Giving has no special day.  If you missed last Tuesday there are 364 other days to pick from.  And we believe that most do.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

In Pursuit of (a Thankful) Perfection

Michael 1 Comment

A few years ago He of We included in the Thanksgiving blessing thanks to God for making the family somewhat dysfunctional.  After all the relatives were done gasping and sputtering he explained that the imperfections are what keep the family together as we all support those who need it when they need it.  A few weeks ago on some television show he heard the head of the household give his fictional blessing thanking God for his imperfect family.  After all the relatives were done gasping and sputtering he explained that the imperfections are what keep the family together as they support those who need it when they need it.  Somebody has been paying attention.

What fun is it if everybody gets along all the time?  How would anybody grow if there was never an incentive to be better tomorrow than one is today?  Isn’t part of giving thanks improving from year to year – from day to day even?  Otherwise it’s just an exercise for everybody else to conform to one person’s idea of normal, regardless of how abnormal that normal may be – or might even be is.

Once upon a time all of the traditions that we hold so dear on Thanksgiving weren’t.  They weren’t traditions, they weren’t habits, they might not have even been normal.  But they stuck.  For some reason everybody decided that on Thanksgiving we would have turkey and stuffing with cranberry dressing.  Turkeys are impossible to cook properly, cranberries are the sourest of all the fall fruits we could possibly pick, and to quote a well know TV celebrity chef, stuffing is evil.  Somehow, this terrible trio became the standard for our most family-centric holiday.

Eventually we learned how to prep that bird so it stayed juicy throughout cooking, figured out how to sweeten those bog berries, and learned that you could make a stuffing that actually cooked all the way through when you do it in Pyrex rather than poultry.  The imperfections guided our practices to make a new normal.

So this week when you are practicing your blessing, think about not just what you are thankful for but what you’d wish you could change.  Then be thankful that you might get the chance to change them.

Who knows, maybe someday our Thanksgiving feast will start at 9 in the morning so one can be first in line at the Pre-Black-Friday Sale as part of a new tradition.  Yeah, right.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Some People’s Children

Michael Leave a comment

If you aren’t yet you should be looking forward to the day when you become the parent of an adult child.  Oh when you get down to it they really aren’t all that much different from the non-adult child.  Your parenting skills will still be questioned but then, so will their childrening skills.  Many of the issues you already faced yourself.  Most of the problems will be expected, if not actually anticipated, or at least remembered more clearly.  And usually more expensive.

We figure the expense of childhood issues is going to catch up with the little ones shortly.  It all has to do with the recent wave of television commercials portraying children as members of real families and part of the decision making process.  We’ve had kids in commercials since there have been commercials.  Millions of people know that “Mikey likes it” but probably have no idea exactly what it is that Mikey likes.  But Mikey was cute.  And even at today’s inflated prices, we’re talking about a $3.00 box of cereal.  Not a big budget buster.

No, today’s kids are pushing thousands, even hundreds of thousands of dollars in single transactions just by being, well, by being bad kids.  Let’s start with the youngest in the crowd who carries his blanket with him wherever he goes.  Big deal, lots of kids do that.  But this one seems to take great pride into turning his blanket into an ice cream bowl just for kicks.  Grandma scoops out a nice big portion of ice cream and the kid immediately and deliberately dumps it onto his blanket.  Here that blanket would have then been declared garbage and tossed out with the trash.  There Grandma chuckles and the kid wins.  Again, not a budget buster but far from Mikey’s cuteness and a harbinger of things to come.

Those are the small victories that give other commercial children the audacity to demand their way or the highway.  Take the dad and child off the highway and park them on the rim of the Grand Canyon.  One of the Seven Wonders of the World and the kid sits in the car with the look of “yeah, I’ve seen pictures, so what” across his face.  Dad tries to find a way to “get to” his child, finally deciding to drive his new $30,000 car onto a bison range.  There one of the furry beasts walks up next to the car, fogs the window, and the kid is finally impressed.  You can tell he’s impressed because the voice over tells us so, and for a mere $30,000, plus travel expenses and release statement, you too can impress your child.

Perhaps the greatest display of petulance is the 9-ish year old whose parents determine that he should be part of their spending upwards of a quarter of a million dollars on a house.  House after house they look.  House after house he becomes more and more irked at the selections.  What’s missing here?  Why does he not like any of these fabulous structures?  Because there aren’t any big trees where he can build a playhouse.  It’s not just a house; it’s where you raise your family.  Or so says the pleasant voice at the end of the commercial.  Yeah, right.  And in a year he’ll forget about the tree house and for the next 10 years resent all of the leaves his parents will “force” him to rake every fall.  Them and their darn big trees.

Trust us, you’ll welcome being the parent of an adult child when most of the problems are expected.  And maybe not even more expensive.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Big Deposit, No Return – or – Politics as Usual

Michael Leave a comment

Thanks be to all that is holy – “Election 2014” is over!  Woohoo!  Now we can stop with the crazy television ads, incomprehensible radio ads, and unnerving street side campaign signs (although not far from He’s house is a hillside with signs from last fall’s election (yes, it was one of the losers (isn’t that always the case?)).  The questions have been put and answered who will “lead” for the next few years.  The big question (why them?) might never be answered.

No, this post has nothing to do with the politics of politics.  Rather, it’s the economics of politics we’re calling to our question.  Here’s a case in point.  The governor in our state will be making about $190,000 of our money every year for the 4 years he will serve.  That’s about $760,000 total.  He spent over $40 million to get that job, and according to the news, over $10 million of it was his own money.  Apparently he is pretty well off even without the nearly $200K annual stipend.  That means for his job search, he spent (of his own money) 13 times what he stands to make over the next four years.   That’s over 52 times what he spent of everybody’s money to get that job.  Hmmmmmm.  Is this really the man we want proposing a budget for the entire state?

Stop to think about you most recent job search.  If you are absolutely thrilled with your current position you probably still look to improve your standing every now and then.  If your current position pays you well enough that you could afford to spend $10 million looking for a new position we’d probably say that you are pretty thrilled and that current position is fairly secure.  Your search might include checking out an Internet job board or the careers pages of a company you have lusted over since you got into your field.  Total cash outlay, whatever you spend on computer or smart phone access which also includes your e-mail, general searches, everyday access to your favorite websites, blogs and videos, and the occasional cyber shopping trip.  A deal at maybe $500 for the year.  If you land a job that pays that same $190,000 our governor will make next year you would have spent less than one-quarter of one percent of your potential salary to make that new salary.  (You can propose our budget any time!  Have you thought of running for governor?)

Of course it could be that those willing to spend 52 times to get a job that pays what they stand to make in a year are looking at more than just a return on their investment.  For whatever reason, someone was weird enough to spend a whole lot of money to get a job that makes comparatively very little money (and not just his own money, he convinced others to let him spend millions of their dollars also).  And more people were weird enough to vote for that guy thinking that made a lot of sense.  Maybe it will.  We suppose we’ll find out in the next four years.

For now, it would be nice if they get those signs taken down.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Up Next: Stoopid Tuesday

Michael Leave a comment

Only 52 shopping days until Christmas.  We could have sworn Black Friday was just a couple weeks ago.  Oh wait.  It was.  Seems around here stores have been advertising “Black Friday Prices” for their weekend sales for the past month or so.  Weekend sales, actually one day sales (with an extra preview day and sometimes an extra wrap-up day) are sweeping the country.  Everything is cheaper on Saturday.  It makes one wonder what those poor schmucks who work the weekend have to pay when they go shopping on Tuesday.

Tuesday has to be the pits, shopping wise.  We know about the weekend sales (actually one day sales on Saturday with an extra preview day on Friday and sometimes an extra wrap-up day on Sunday).  We know that on Monday there will be unadvertised specials to get rid of the “special purchases” brought in just for the more unsuccessful weekend sales.  Thursday is the day the buyers set out the stuff that will be on sale on the upcoming weekend sales and there will always be new discounts for the shopper willing to use his or her store credit card to reap those extra savings on this extra savings day.  Wednesday is the day that the grocery stores end their weekly specials so everybody is there picking up the items they said they would go back and get before the sale ended.  That leaves Tuesday as the only day that a retail store actually sells stuff at the full retail price.  Assuming that somebody actually goes shopping on Tuesday – Stoopid Tuesday.

But things will be a little bit better now that there are only 52 shopping days until Christmas.  Just in yesterday’s paper there were advertising supplements for trees, ornaments, lights, toys, and camping gear with their advertised prices good all week long.  But the ads for clothes, shoes, scarves, hats, gloves, outerwear, and underwear were noticeably missing having come out on Thursday for their usual weekend sales (actually one day sales on Saturday with an extra preview day Friday).  You can get a great deal on a crossbow this Tuesday but forget about finding any deals on a new winter coat until later in the week.

We hope you don’t have to work weekends so you too can take full advantage of the amazing “Black Friday Prices” at this week’s weekend sales (you know, the one day sales on Saturday with an extra preview day Friday) without the annoying wait for Black Friday.  But if you have to work this weekend remember, there are only 8 Stoopid Tuesday shopping days until Christmas.  That leaves you with 44 other days for the good stuff.  You’ll be fine.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Let’s Be Careful Out There

Michael Leave a comment

The great candy/costume countdown has begun!  Depending on where you live it could be just 4, 5, or 6 short days till Treat or Treat Night.  We’d say till Halloween but that’s always October 31 no matter what calendar you’re using.  Why the varied time spans?  Because October 31 (Halloween, remember) is on a Friday this year.  We don’t know about where you are but here that’s high school football playoff time.

So people don’t have to decide between the lessor of the two evils (or greater of the two hauls), many municipalities within school districts involved in the playoffs are opting to move one or the other.  Since football is an immovable feast, Trick or Treat is the one to go.  It seems like that might confuse the ones who are the most excited about Trick or Treating (Halloween party attendees excluded).  Those would be the little ones, the same little ones who watch the television sit coms and specials that feature their stars Trick or Treating on Halloween – a sort of novel concept for this year.

A quick check on the Internet revealed that at least 26 communities in our county (out of 100+) are holding onto tradition, including both He and She’s. It just seems right that Trick or Treat happens on Halloween.

But there could be issues.  And not just football conflicts.  Most places allow Trick or Treating from 6 to 8pm.  Most football games start at 7.  There could be a mad rush at the beginning of the tour with folks hurrying to still make it to the games.  And it is a Friday.  There will be parties – house parties, office parties, bar parties.  All of them will have people rushing to and fro, mostly in SUVs way too big for just one person versus multiple children.   And then we’ll add that here our local weather forecast is calling for mild and clear all week long, except for Friday night when it will be cold and rainy.  Translation: it will be slippery and extra dark.

Even with the potential for problems Halloween fun belongs on Halloween, including Trick or Treat.  Kids are kids only once (Halloween party attendees excluded).  We just have to make sure that the potential for avoiding problems is stronger than the reverse.  Halloween night, it’s always a great evening for a neighborhood stroll – just be careful out there!

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.