Tag Beer

Jelly Beans for Olives

Michael 12 Comments

For the last month in two, the weather here has been inconsistent, more warm and dry than cool and rainy (odd), but during that time, the weekends have been beautiful (very odd), except for this past weekend when being outdoors was a requirement of the day (par for the course).

Saturday, I had a meeting out of town, far out of town, requiring driving on interstate highways in the dark, in the rain. Highway drive is tolerable in the dark, tolerable in the rain, knuckle whitening scary in both. Sigh.

Sunday, the daughter and boyfriend ran the Pittsburgh Marathon (half marathon version) in morning rain and chill after weeks and weeks of training on dry pavement under sunny skies. Sigh

Something about this weekend reminded me of another spring weekend I wrote about. It took me a while to find it, but I did and I re-present it here from 7 years ago. If you read it then, humor me and give it another go.

From April 17, 2017, ‘Tis the Season, Spring Edition:

I’m pretty sure I should have been born the son of an Italian wine maker. Or perhaps an olive grower. I could see myself spending Sunday afternoons on a rough stone terrazza nibbling on marinated olives and peppers and artichoke hearts sipping a glass of wine, listening to Old World folk songs and letting the sun warm me where the wine doesn’t. Ahhhhhhhh.

Instead I have jelly beans and a leftover beer I found waaaaay back in the fridge, trying to find a spot somewhere on the 4×8 patio that is out of the wind driven rain storm, hoping the next lightning bolt stays waaaaay on the other side of that hill over there.

BOCThat’s all on me though. I couldn’t pick where I was born but I could have moved if I really wanted to. I chose to stay in the only city in America with less sunshine than Seattle. (That’s what I’ve been told. I didn’t believe it so I looked it up and they were WRONG! That particular proverbially always rain-logged Washington hamlet actually has less sun than my burgh but just barely, coming in at Number Nine of the Top Ten Cloudy Hit Parade with a 57% chance of clouds compared to our 56%. What is the number one least sunny city in the US? Juneau, Alaska. Sorry Land of the Midnight Sun dwellers. Apparently that’s not enough for the midday darkness the rest of the year.) Where was I? Oh, yeah. I stayed.

I chose to stay here where the chance of pressing my own olive oil is somewhere around the chance of me removing my own appendix. Wine making might have a little advantage, but still it’s not likely I’ll be trading in the Miata for an Alpha Romeo and riding it along a strada panoramica overlooking the Baia di Napoli. I’ll just have to keep an eye on the morning forecasts and pick those choice hours when the sun will come out and the top will go down and the drive will be just as scenic. Even if it is of the access road leading to the 27th worst commuter road in the country. And we do better than Seattle there, too. (They have the 8th worst commute. Sorry.

Thank God I don’t have to go to work in either city. More time for olives and wine. Or jelly beans and beer. Happy Spring!

There is always room on the calendar for special days. We found a few extra ways to celebrate everyone among the special days. Check them out on Uplift!

Give me a shot and a beer!

Michael 2 Comments

I’m usually a day late and dollar short. Several dollars often. This time I’m a couple months late and running short on patience although high enough on admiration for those who are at least coming up with some ideas.

So what’s all this about? Vaccines, don’t you know? Apparently those who have waited have maybe waited their way into a windfall. Like those two Ohioans who each hit their state’s Vax-a-Million lottery. As long a we’re hanging around Ohio, how about that high school freshman (oops, first year student!), who won the first of five 4-year, all expense scholarships to any in-Ohio college.  In Maryland, they are awarding a daily $40,000 prize for 40 days culminating with a $400,000 on July 4. California, Washington, New Mexico, Colorado, Arkansas, and more that I can keep up with are offering cash incentives for getting the vaccine. A number of states are offering full scholarships for resident admissions to in state institutions. Over 30 companies are giving away almost anything you can think of including free flights for a year, free groceries for a year, free Super Bowl tickets, discounts and cash. At least 50 companies are giving cash bonuses or paid time off to employees for being vaccinated. And in a major, vaccine related announcement from earlier this week, Anheuser-Busch will buy America a beer if 70% of us get a vaccine.

You know, that vaccine that protects lives, returns normalcy to normal, and makes it possible for people to live life, lavish liberties, and pursue happiness. The one people in other countries would pay a king’s ransom to get. That vaccine.

I know I said I was a late to the party, suggesting these awards are to get unvaccinated people on the way to the nearest vaccination site. In truth, most of these scholarship and lottery prizes and many of the non-contest incentives are available to anyone vaccinated against COVID-19 regardless of when they were vaccinated, even early birds like me. The beer bash apparently will include everybody, over 21, even the unvaccinated coattail riders. According to an article in The Washington Post, “Adults 21 and older will be able to get a $5 virtual debit card that can be used to buy one Anheuser-Busch product, including beers, seltzers and nonalcoholic products,” when American hits the 70% vaccination mark before July 4. As of June 2, that means another 20 million Americans have to stick out their arms and say “Ahh.”

So where is the sticking point. Hesitancy is still an issue, but so is logistics in some areas. And, there are still a large number of young adults not vaccinated. According the Kaiser Family Foundation Vaccine Tracker, through the end of May, less than 48% of Americans age 18-29 have received at least one shot of COVID-19 vaccine and only 32% of that age group are fully vaccinated. Many colleges have announced they will require students to prove COVID vaccination to attend in person classes starting this fall, not unlike the requirement for other vaccines like mumps and measles. Maybe that will encourage others in this age group to get vaccinated.

Or maybe they would like a beer with their shot.

Not Vaccinated Section (1)

Stupid is as stupid does

Michael 4 Comments
It’s official, or as official as it can be on my say so. We can stop worrying about global warming, international terrorism, party politics, and the Game of Thrones unsatisfying ending (just bby what I hear, I never watched the show). We can forget about all of them because I am no so sure we will make it through February. Stupidity has finally caught up with us and we are surely going to perish.
 
Check out these symptoms.
 
The coronavirus is a horrible, unexpected, seemingly uncontrollable health disaster. According to this morning’s news over 8,000 cases have been confirmed by the World Health Organization resulting in 361 deaths and that will probably be higher by the time you read this. The interwebs are buzzing, as they should be. We should be trying to do what we can to understand how to prevent its spread. But you aren’t going to find it looking for Corona Beer Virus. That’s what people are searching for on Google trying to find out more about it. Maybe it was last week’s Superbowl hype that had everybody thinking beer instead of flu like pandemics.
 
Speaking of flu, according to the CDC, as of January 31 there had been 300,000 hospitalizations due to the “common” flu this season and over 10,000 deaths (that’s ten thousand) (one comma and lots of zeros), 80% of whom reported not having received this year’s flu shot. I would call that a horrible, unexpected, clearly controllable health disaster.
 
There was a report over the weekend that if former Vice President Joe Biden wins this year’s election the Republicans will begin impeachment immediately upon his inauguration for something or other. I found it telling that the news reports last month were that the Democrats voted to impeach Donald Trump. As I recall my civics class, admittedly many, many years ago, it is the House of Representatives who impeach. It’s a shame we have replaced a rather well thought out form of government with a couple herds of sheep.
 
Americans don’t have the market cornered on odd political stances – or odd politicians for that matter. British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was quoted in a Reuters report last month that he wants to lose weight but won’t join the 300,000+ who are expected to sign up for Veganuary 2020. (Yes, it’s a real thing and had been since 2014.) (Sigh) According to Johnson, “I thought about it but it requires so much concentration.” 
 
Speaking to The Financial Times, Mastercard’s CEO expressed his dismay at countries adopting or considering nationalizing payment systems saying consumers worried about their privacy may shift back to cash for purchases. Oh my, what would the world be if we were all reduced to being able to buy only what we can afford. Soon people would be forced to work for what they want. In case you are wondering, Mastercard reported $17 billion dollars in revenue for 2019. For comparison Americans spent $1.6 billion to treat the flu during the 2018-2019 flu season. Sorry, no word on if that was cash or charge.
 
Last month the Japanese billionaire selected to be the first civilian passenger to the moon aboard a SpaceX rocket halted his search for “a girlfriend to take on a voyage around the moon.” About 28,000 women applied. And I still have trouble getting a woman to go to the movies with me.
 
Finally back in the coronavirus world, a man was escorted off a Dallas to Houston American Airlines flight last Thursday when he refused to remove a full-face gas mask. According to a passenger, “My gut reaction was that he was probably worried about the coronavirus and had put on the gas mask as overkill kind of protection. But then I noticed it didn’t have the filter, so that didn’t really make sense. What we heard from the lady sitting next to him was he said he wanted to make a statement. I don’t know what the statement was. I’m not sure what his goals were. To me, it seemed inconsiderate.” That might be considered understatement! 
 
There you have it, living proof we’re never going to life long enough to see melting glaciers turn the midwest back into swamp land, California fall into the ocean, or cars flying themselves powered by dilithium crystals. Stupidity is the pandemic that is going to get us. 
 
(The real proof is that the best part of the Superbowl for me was the commercial starring Punxsutawney Phil and that Bill Murray guy. See, even I’m not immune to stupidity, but come on, that was good!)
 
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But It’s Just One Day Off

Michael 2 Comments

Somebody figured out that 17 million people did not go to work today (Monday, Feb. 4) in the US specifically because of the Super Bowl. Maybe they had over-celebrated the winners. Perhaps they were overcome with despair for the losers. Maybe they were replaying their favorite commercials on YouTube. Or they were just big immature babies and felt they needed a day off because of the killer hangover from a 9 hour tailgate party.

Seventeen million people are a lot of people to call off at one time. The current American workforce stands at about 154 million. That means 11% of that group just blew off their responsibilities for a football game. Not to play in one. Not to go to one. Not to watch their children in one. But to recover from one. No, not to recover from playing in one. To “recover” from watching one.

That’s dedication. (Sarcasm!) I hope they remember today three months from now when their request for extra days off to extend their upcoming vacation is denied. Or six months from now when they try to turn a Tuesday Fourth of July into a five day weekend and are docked for having already used up all their sick days for the year. Or ten months from now when their Christmas bonus is light, or non-existent. Or next week when the bosses figure out they did just fine with 11% fewer people.

BWings“You mad?” you say? Sort of. More disappointed about what people have come to think is important enough to put their welfare at risk and not just by taking an extra day off. The average super bowl party host will spend as much as the average American family spends on Thanksgiving but mostly on chicken wings and beer. About 1.3 billion chicken wings were consumed Sunday, washed down with 325 million gallons of beer. Some of that beer found its way into people with a history of bad judgement around alcohol. Drinking violations by repeat drunk drivers ordered to stay sober jumps an average of 22% on Super Bowl Sunday, compared to usual Sunday violation rates. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) puts Super Bowl Sunday among the deadliest traffic accident days with other “holidays” like Cinco de Mayo and St. Patrick’s Day.

Super Sunday? Sorry. I don’t see it. But I almost took today off. Fortunately I had a good talk with myself and convinced me to post today anyway. Now everybody go on and get back to work. The other 89% can’t keep it up without you forever.

 

‘Tis the Season, Spring 2017 Edition

Michael 4 Comments

I’m pretty sure I should have been born the son of an Italian wine maker. Or perhaps an olive grower. I could see myself spending Sunday afternoons on a rough stone terrazza nibbling on marinated olives and peppers and artichoke hearts sipping a glass of wine, listening to Old World folk songs and letting the sun warm me where the wine doesn’t. Ahhhhhhhh.

Instead I have jelly beans and a leftover beer I found waaaaay back in the fridge, trying to find a spot somewhere on the 4×8 patio that is out of the wind driven rain storm, hoping the next lightning bolt stays waaaaay on the other side of that hill over there.BOC

That’s all on me though. I couldn’t pick where I was born but I could have moved if I really wanted to. I chose to stay in the only city in America with less sunshine than Seattle. (That’s what I’ve been told. I didn’t believe it so I looked it up and they were WRONG! That particular proverbially always rain-logged Washington hamlet actually has less sun than my burgh but just barely, coming in at Number Nine of the Top Ten Cloudy Hit Parade with a 57% chance of clouds compared to our 56%. What is the number one least sunny city in the US? Juneau, Alaska. Sorry Land of the Midnight Sun dwellers. Apparently that’s not enough for the midday darkness the rest of the year.) Where was I? Oh, yeah. I stayed.

I chose to stay here where the chance of pressing my own olive oil is somewhere around the chance of me removing my own appendix. Wine making might have a little advantage, but still it’s not likely I’ll be trading in the Miata for an Alpha Romeo and riding it along a strada panoramica overlooking the Baia di Napoli. I’ll just have to keep an eye on the morning forecasts and pick those choice hours when the sun will come out and the top will go down and the drive will be just as scenic. Even if it is of the access road leading to the 27th worst commuter road in the country. And we do better than Seattle there, too. (They have the 8th worst commute. Sorry.)

Thank God I don’t have to go to work in either city. More time for olives and wine. Or jelly beans and beer. Happy Spring!

That’s what I think. Really. How ’bout you?

So They Say

Michael 1 Comment

Some things I think we need to think about.

Driving down the road I came upon a sign that read “Airport 10” alerting me that I was a mere 10 miles from the local airport. About a mile down the road I came upon a sign that read “Airport 10” alerting me that something was wrong here! But what was it that was wrong? Was it the distance to the airport? Was it the selected sign? Was there a flaw in the road? Had I driven through some time/space continuum and will forever be 10 miles from the airport? Or it from me? Or perhaps it was a sign. We probably need a conspiracy theorist for that one.

If that was confusing there are others out there just as confusing. Farther along that same road there is a restaurant. I hesitate to specify the type of restaurant because the sign doesn’t make it very clear. Below the restaurant name is the legend “Japanese Chinese Bistro.” None of those go together! That’s like calling a restaurant a Spanish Danish Deli. I imagine because the cultures were specifically kept separate that it is not a fusion restaurant but one where there is a menu of Japanese offerings, another of Chinese offerings, all presented in a European casual dining atmosphere.

Heading down a different road I was approaching another restaurant in search of its being. This one isn’t looking for an ethnic identity; it’s looking for what it wants to be when it grows up. It wants to be a fine dining establishment but it is more of a slightly overpriced not quite up enough upscale brasserie. At the end of its drive, the owner had a new sign erected, large enough to be seen at 45 miles per hour. And it says, “Try Our New Lite 5 Course Menu.” I think of light (or lite) as a salad and smallish delicate entrée. I suppose if you can successfully lighten up five courses you can charge the world for it. And they do.

And yet farther along the drive I passed a beer distributor. Mind you, unless that earlier drive through the space/time thingy really screwed things up, it is still August. But the big sign in front of the beer shop proclaimed the arrival of this year’s first bottling of pumpkin beer. And I thought the grocery stores with the Halloween candy displays were rushing the season. If we’re dong pumpkin beer before school even starts will we be doing egg nog for Columbus Day? Or perhaps a summer shanty for New Years.

Sometimes things just don’t all add up. Remember that the next time someone says to you, “They say…”

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?