Tag Artificial

How Live Is It?

Michael 1 Comment

Two years we began the debate between live and artificial trees.  We liked it so well we repeated it last year.  (See “Is It Live or…” Nov. 28, 2011 in Life.) Little did we know there was a third choice.

On last week’s television show “The Shark Tank” a budding entrepreneur presented a business opportunity of renting live, potted Christmas trees.  They are delivered to the tree-wanter a few weeks before Christmas and picked up shortly after the holiday.  It seemed like an interesting idea even if it was available only to California Christmas celebrators and deserved some investigation.  But first, let’s see what we’ve traditionally had available for our holiday arbor traditions … traditionally spoken.

He of We has a couple of artificial trees to spread about his house.  One very large tree runs to the top of the high vaulted ceiling of its chosen room, another shorter one does its thing in the low ceilinged part of the house.  Neither would be mistaken for a live tree, with or without a pot, but they do their thing with gusto and when painstakingly decorated provide the necessary merriment for the season.  The big one looks fairly realistic and for the $300 original price tag it should.  He being frugal bought it after Christmas many years ago and dropped quite a bit less than $100 on it.  His diluted annual investment distributed over 15 years is about five tree dollars per tree year.  She of We has an artificial tree that looks more live than pretend, fills her bay window from top to bottom and side to side, and when decorated with her all glass ornaments looks like a million bucks although her diluted annual tree cost is about the same.

Last week the “live” tree lots around here opened and fresh cut trees (fresh is their word) run from $29 to $59 depending on variety and size.  You could also opt for one sold by one of the local volunteer fire companies and with delivery sometimes included, sometimes extra, but almost always available.  If you think more is better there are even mail order tree farms that will ship you a fresh cut (fresh is their word) for about twice what you would pay if you went to a local lot and strapped your selection to your own car/van/SUV/crossover roof.  Stick with the locals and your annual tree cost after agreeing to a live wreath and some live garland gets to about 85 tree dollars.

There are clearly no shortages of trees for the holidays whether boxed and pre-lit or chopped from somewhere around our neck of the woods for our neck of the woods.  You can even do your own chopping if you like.  Chopping comes at a premium starting at about $50 and then priced extra per foot for trees over 5 feet.  We hear it’s good exercise.  Wreaths, garland, door swags, cider, eggnog, and bandages are extra.

Now let’s get back to these potted living trees that give new meaning to the word live when associated with Christmas trees and December.  He did a quick search on the Internet and found said entrepreneur who is festooning California with potted plants for the holidays.  He also found several others.  Of course since they rely on local delivery and pick up if you aren’t fortunate enough to live in California or Oregon where the tree potters thrive, you’ll miss out on trying to keep a live tree living throughout the season.  Checking out the prices of these living trees he found them somewhere between those on the local lots and the new in the box.  An average price for an average tree seemed to be about $100 with about another $50 to get it to and from.  That clearly is the most expensive yearly outlay for your tree dollars but it’s your holiday bonus and you can spend it however you like.

So the question is no longer “Is It Live,” but “How Live Is It.”  It’s not a bad idea and there are probably more places around the country than just the few that made Internet history.  Now with three choices our warnings from years past still go.  Don‘t be a newscast waiting to happen.  Decorate safely, don’t overload your circuits, and may the only smoke anyone should see on Christmas Eve is that from the stump of the pipe held in Santa’s teeth while encircling his head just like a wreath.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

…or is it…

Michael Leave a comment

Thanksgiving came early this year.  Actually it was absolutely the earliest it could possibly be.  Even as early as it could be, among other holiday traditions across America we still saw live trees strapped to the top of cars barreling from lot to house to have the annual Weekend After Thanksgiving Decorating Tradition take place.

That reminded us of last year’s post, “Is it live…” and so we re-present it here.

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This weekend was the weekend after Thanksgiving and we were out on the road, but not for a big after Thanksgiving shopping spree.  No Black Friday deals for us.  But out we were and there were stores visited, restaurants patronized, the public encountered, and stories to be told.

We could talk about how traffic laws in our state seem to have become traffic suggestions, and not very well taken suggestions.  We could talk about how waiters, waitresses, and bartenders no longer associate the term “service industry” with their chosen (or fallen into) profession.  We could even talk about how somewhere in between “May I help you?” and “Happy Holidays!” this year’s crop of shoppers and clerks are ruder than we’ve seen for quite a few years. 

Today we’re going to talk about that never ending holiday controversy, live or artificial.  On a day that begins its date with “November,” cars with live trees tied to their roofs began their journeys to becoming kindling. 

And so we debated.  Live trees smell good.  Wet charcoal does not.  Pre-lit artificial trees completely fulfill that designation only for Year One of its proclaimed 20 year lifespan.  Live trees need watered every day and there is no graceful way to crawl under the long, low hanging branches with a plastic bowl of water stretching to reach the reservoir into which the tree has become permanently attached (note for tree removal day).  Live trees don‘t need watered daily if one owns an old male dog who can’t hold his water until you get home from work.  (Live trees smell good.  Dog drenched carpet does not.)   Live trees come in thousands of shades of green found only in nature.  Artificial trees come in light green, dark green, and pink.  Artificial tree branches can be re-arranged so every ornament, no matter size or shape, can be placed exactly where you want it.  Live tree branches bend, release, and fling your Lenox collectible ornament through three rooms before smashing into the curio cabinet filled with the Swarovski crystal collection.

Did we resolve the debate?  Can two people who are dodging speeding drivers in search of big bargains list all of the pros and cons of live versus artificial?  No, it will take thousands of trips over many years to complete the list.  Until then, feel free to take your own side of the debate and decorate with whatever best reflects your style and family life.  But please do us a favor.  If you’re planning on live, remember that a cut flower cannot live in a vase for 5 weeks.  A live tree cut from its roots and left in a cup of water won’t last that long either. 

Keep your tree fed, watered, and happy.  If you’re planning on artificial, remember that just because you can erect one in each room and mount thousands of lights on them that you still risk tripped circuits and melted plastic – hot, fire prone melted plastic. 

Don’t be a newscast waiting to happen.  The only smoke anyone should see on Christmas Eve is from the stump of the pipe held in Santa’s teeth while encircling his head just like a wreath.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?