Tag Appointment

Time zones

Michael 13 Comments

I just hung up from what I consider the most annoying, most useless, and most aggravating of all phone calls. Even more of all the above superlatives than the calls that promise they can submit my paperwork and get me the payroll reimbursements for my personnel costs during the pandemic shutdowns (which considering I have no business and thus no employees I would have paid, that would be such a great trick they should go on the Las Vegas stage with it). No the most annoying, most useless and most aggravating of all phone calls are the doctor appointment reminder calls.

I am absolutely serious about that. Those are the most of all the above and I hate them. Despise them. Abhor them. And yes, I’m probably making too much of them, but by gosh they bother me.

First of all, they aren’t the pleasant receptionist at the office going through the upcoming week’s schedule making the calls. They are the cheapest versions of the most primitive robotic callers that make the computer on the original Star Trek series sound like Barbra Streisand.  You must know the script.

“Hello. This. Is. The. Office. Of. Doctor. VeryImportant. Calling. For. PatientFullName. If. This. Is. PatientFullName. Please. Press. One. If. This. Is. Not. PatientFullName. Please. Press. Two. I’m. Sorry. I. Did. Not. Understand. Your. Response.  If. This. Is. PatientFullName. Please. Press. One. If. This. Is. Not. PatientFullName. Please. Press. Two. Thank. You. This. Is. The. Office. Of. Doctor. VeryImportant. Calling. To. Remind. PatientFullName. Of. An. Appointment. On. Tuesday. October. Twenty. Fourth. At. Ten. O. Clock. In. The. Morning. Please. Press. One. To. Confirm. This. Appointment. Or. Press. Two. To. Speak. With. Someone. To. Reschedule. I’m. Sorry. I. Did. Not. Understand. Your. Response.  Please. Press. One. To. Confirm. This. Appointment. Or. Press. Two. To. Speak. With. Someone. To. Reschedule. Thank. You. We. Look. Forward. To. Seeing. PatientFullName. Soon. Para. Continuar. En. Español. Presione. La. Tecla. Estrella.

If that’s not bad enough, these calls come after the text message reminders, email reminders, and reminders through the hospital system patient “Portal.” Portal schmortal. It’s an app just like McDonalds or Dominos!

Maybe I’m just a bit overly sensitive to these intrusions because after being discharged I now have follow-up appointments with every doctor I’ve ever seen in the last 18 months and each one wants to make sure I get there without delay. Sheesh!

Who they really should be calling are the doctors to remind them they have an appointment with PatienFullName Tuesday morning and get your ass into the office on time!

We start as one of one. Some find another as one of two. Some love others selflessly as one of one-plus. The luckiest of us learn to love and share as much as we can as one of many, becoming community. You read one of one and one of one-plus here, now read the rest of the story, one of many at Uplift!

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Never Can Say Goodbye

Michael 1 Comment

As we get close to saying goodbye to 2016 I have discovered that we suck at saying goodbye.

In this last month of the year I spent a lot of time on the phone. I had to pick a new insurance and because it is a milestone change I used a broker. I have a car due for service and inspection. I was in the hospital, a couple of times, so I got a couple of “Hi! How are we doing?” calls, and I had to make a couple of rounds of followup doctor appointments. And it was the holidays so I had to check in with some folks to see how they were doing. So, when otherwise I might use my phone primarily as an alarm clock to not miss any of the several doctor appointments throughout the year, this month I used it as an actual communication device.

And thus discovered that we suck at  saying goodbye.

All the calls started out right. And calls with people who actually know my first name as opposed to those reading it from a computer screen were mostly able to successfully end a call. But the others. Oh, the others. It was like the final dress rehearsal for the bad movie scene in every bad movie where two people try to go through a doorway at the same time. After you. No. After you. No, no. After you.

It seems that those who have been trained to make appointments had training stopped somewhere before “Thank you for calling. Have a nice day. Good bye.”  Instead it goes more like this.

“You’re all set. Is there anything else I can do?”

“No, thank you. Good bye.”

“Well, thank you. And don’t forget to bring your insurance card.”

“Right. Good bye.”

“And please arrive 15 minutes early.

“Got it. Good bye.”

“Well then, you are all set. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“No thanks. Good bye.”

Thank you for calling. If you need to cancel, change, or…”

–click–

See you next year. Probably 15 minutes early. Good bye.

That’s what I think. Really. How ’bout you?