Last week He of We’s toaster didn’t.  Oh it did once, turning an English Muffin into a piece of charcoal.  What turned an English Muffin into a briquette one day couldn’t even warm bread on the days after.  It was such a good toaster for so long.  As long as you remembered to set the desired doneness at three-quarters of the way to max and then cycle your bread product through twice, it would return a piece of toast crisp and golden.  And now it’s all gone.  Actually, it’s still there on the counter pretending to be a small appliance but it’s quite gone as far as being a useful kitchen tool is concerned.

If there was a time that a toaster should stop toasting, this is it.  All of the stores that would ply small kitchen equipment are starting their Back to School Sales.  Yes, it’s only partway through July but Back to School is the sale of the season.  We suppose if they don’t start now the big Christmas sales might get pushed all the way to October and they’ll not be able to get their Thanksgiving sales started much before September thus leaving Columbus Day challenging Labor Day for the August sales.

It’s odd that toasters would be on the Back to School sale list but they are.  And they are accompanied by single serve coffee makers, smoothie makers, and the Soda Stream.  If we look at the average college student we’re going to find someone whose drink preferences include multiple cups of coffee before getting out of bed in the morning, nothing that was once a fresh fruit or vegetable, or any bubbly beverage without alcohol – hence the requirement for multiple cups of coffee before getting out of bed in the morning.  These seem to be the sort of things that wistful parents would pack for their returning collegians.  So they get bought, schlepped to campus, and then brought back in the spring.

The same goes for all the office supplies purchased and packed.  Color-coded highlighters and notebooks (the paper kind, not the mini-laptop that’s been supplanted by the tablet – the electronic kind, not the stack of bound paper) are good ideas for those who use highlighters and notebooks.  There must be at least a few.   Pens, pencils, rulers, compasses, (compi?), and hand-held calculators seem to scream “Don’t buy me.  I’m from a different era.  Use your back to school money on a new X-Box instead.”  We’re not sure that the average college student even knows how to use a stapler remover.

Back to the appliances, little refrigerators and microwaves are always on the Back to School sale lists but most schools now provide those in their dorms probably to keep the total daily campus wattage somewhere below what the local power plant produces.  But little refrigerators and microwaves are still going to be on sale so Dad can finish his bar and Mom can update the kitchen while the kids are gone.

We don’t know why toasters still make the list.  But they do.  And we’re glad of it because now he can save 15% on his new one.  And he doesn’t even have to keep a C-average to guarantee it will stay with him next year.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.