Tag Annoyances

Dreaming what to become

Michael 7 Comments

For the last couple weeks, I’ve been collecting some remarkable tidbits of wisdom (wisbits?) from of all places, the Internet. Someone said (and I’ll qualify this that it is a reputable somebody and was published somewhere reputable, but I’m comfortable in my chair and don’t feel like searching for the citation, but trust me, it’s a valid point) someone once said only 85% of what’s on the Internet is true, and nearly 100% of that is in legacy news sites, or traceable to same. Which if you’re even just decent at math means most of what we’re exposed to is crap. Or possibly plagiarized crap. But there is some interesting crap out there.

One of the non-cited things I saw, that I’m really tempted to believe, is that in the 1980s, A&W tried to compete with McDonald’s Quarter Pounder by releasing a 1/3 pound burger at a lower price, but it failed because people didn’t want the “smaller” burger, even if it was cheaper.

That might be what led Oxford University Press to declare “brain rot” as its 2024 word of the year. The term is defined as “mental decline caused by trivial material.” See, to me, that in itself is somewhat rotten. The mental decline isn’t caused by trivial material. That’s what we used to call recreation. “Let’s take time off and do something non-consequential, something trivial!” The mental decline we’re experiencing is caused by people accepting what they read as fact. But hold that thought.

A different word was selected word of the year for 2024 by that stalwart of unpublished publications, Dictionary.com. They named demure as this year’s word of the day. Of course demure took off this year when some Tik Tok celebrity (really?) started using it in a way that didn’t match the definition. Sort of like when someone wants to sound “educated” at a cocktail party (youngsters, ask your parents) and explain how the new red light at the corner will assuage traffic. Anyway, we now have a word of the day everyone thinks means very mindful when it means shy, modest often affectedly so, or coy, and its origin is a state of calmness at sea.

Remember that thought we held 2 paragraphs ago. That’s where I wrote that I read OUP selected Brain Rot as its word of the day. Plug in “brain rot” to your favorite search engine and it will say it’s the Oxford University Press 2024 word of the year. Now just for fun and giggles, do the same with “demure.” Yep, it will come back as the Oxford University Press 2024 word of the year. 85% right seems high. By the way, Merriam-Webster’s word of the year is polarization. That sounds right.

Leaving single words behind, here is a string of words from one of the Today Show social sites attributed to Michael J. Fox. “If you don’t think you have anything to be thankful for, keep looking. Because you don‘t just receive optimism. You can’t wait for things to be great then be grateful for that. You have to behave in a way that promotes that.” There’s an 85% chance he actually said that. Personally, I don’t care if that isn’t what he said, that’s a good thought.

I could end it with that but here’s something from a nondescript post that should be on all our walls. “We dream what we wish to become.” I wish we’d all become less brain rotted.

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Not everyone can be exceptional and have the word of the year culled from one of your TicToc posts, but everyone can take pride in the exceptional qualities they possess. Even the most average of people have the most remarkable moments.

We took an above average swipe at those who feel being average is no better than having failed in the latest Uplift, Life on the Curve. You can read it on average in about 3 minutes.

But before you go look, have you still not thought about joining the ROAMcare community and have the weekly Uplift blog delivered to your email as soon as it hits the website? In addition to an Uplift release every Wednesday, you will also receive weekly a Monday Moment of Motivation, and our email exclusive Friday Flashback repost of one of our most loved publications. All free and available now at  ROAMcare.org.

Tinker Bell and His Big Truck

Michael 10 Comments

We had been having a little cold spell last week. Most days the temperature hovered in the mid 20s. One day snowflakes make a concerted effort to coat every flat surface with fluffy, white flakes. I thought Friday might have brought some relief when the 6am weather person announced, “our current temperature temperature is 29°,” but then he had to add, “and that will be our high for the day.”

Then Saturday turned out to be a glorious day. There was actual sunshine. The temperature reached above freezing. People came out from what they thought was going to be an early start to this season’s hibernation. And that’s when the trouble started.

People. People just can’t leave well enough alone. I was driving through the “downtown” area of a snoozy suburb, the stores were still closed, only mine and 3 other cars on the road. Well, one car ahead of me, one car behind me, and one of those “hell yeah I’m a man, look at my big truck” trucks behind that one.

There were’t any people in the stores yet working but the traffic signals were. Our mini convoy was stopped at the first light. The red light went out and before the green light came on from behind me came a “honk.” The fellow in front of me raised his hand between the headrests of his front seat in an “okay” sign. To myself I said, “It wasn’t me but I’m with you. I hate that too.” Two blocks down we are stopped at another light. Red turn to green and behind came another “honk” just about in synch with the light change. Again the driver ahead raised his hand, this time wagging it back and forth. “Not me,” I said louder but only to myself.

In the next block the car behind me pulled into a parking space leaving the fellow with the emotional support pickup to run up to my bumper. Another light, another red signal. Mr. Macho revs his engine. Light changes, truck honks, guy in front turns around and extends a single finger in my direction.

What I would have given for a PA speaker mounted on the roof of my little SUV so I could tell him to take it up with Tinker Bell behind me.

Just then the monster truck backed up and swerved into the opposing lane and sped past the two of us still sitting at the corner, horn honking, finger pointing. Guy in the front car turns around, mouths, “sorry,” and we continue on our anonymous ways.

People. Some people just can’t leave well enough alone.

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Are you afraid life is going too fast? Like too fast even for the guy in the big pick up. Fight the fear with action. You’ll be happier too. We know  we said so in the latest Uplift post. Check it out

But before you go look, have you still not thought about joining the ROAMcare community and have the weekly Uplift blog delivered to your email as soon as it hits the website? In addition to an Uplift release every Wednesday, you will also receive weekly a Monday Moment of Motivation, and our email exclusive Friday Flashback repost of one of our most loved publications. All free and available now at  ROAMcare.org.

Next slide please

Michael 11 Comments

Last week was a strange one for me. I nearly posted a blog everyday filled with rage about the various goings on that are going on and how or why people don’t, or perhaps can’t see it. Instead, I’m going to post a treatise on presentation software and trust me, you will be better entertained by it.

But first, a rage release. Today, October 28, 2024, is the sixth anniversary of the massacre at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh, the deadliest antisemitic attack on U.S. soil, when 11 members of 3 congregations sharing space in the same building were murdered by a radical who only a year ago finally was convicted of 63 crimes of violence stemming from that incident. Five years to bring to trial and convict a man who admitted to the shootings. Yet today, not only do we not have saner control over weapons of violence, we hear people wanting to be high ranking government officials and local dog catcher level officials accuse opposing candidates of being too dangerous. Really? If you want to read my feelings about the heinous acts committed at the Tree of Life you can go back and read the posts No Exceptions and No Exceptions Still!

And now, the treatise. No, not treatise. That suggests a long, formal, systemic discussion of a topic. This is just going to be long. Let’s call is a disquisition. Yeah, that’s better. And now, a disquisition on presentation software.

First, some history. (Hmmm. Maybe it could be a treatise.) (No. we settled on disquisition. No turning back now!) I do a lot of talking. Some of it I’m front of (willing) audiences. Rarely am I behind a lectern. I’m usually one more to wander about on stage, unencumbered by any connection to a video accompaniment to my words

It was not always like that. At my first ever professional (or perhaps ”professional”) presentation, I could not move any farther than 2&1/2 feet from the designated speaker area or the wireless remote control would be out of range of the projector holding the slides that (hopefully) illustrated the points I was (hopefully) making.

Yes, slides. Those same things that Uncle John and Aunt Jane pulled out after Thanksgiving dinner to show you all they did on their vacation from last August when all you wanted to do was go downtown to see the parade and watch Santa come to town. Oh those slides were so difficult to deal with. Umm. The presentation slides, not the vacation slides. The vacation slides you simply slept through. Anyway …

Oh, those slides were so difficult to deal with. When I was teaching, the college had an entire section of their AV department who would take our presentations whether for class or for an outside lecture that we saved into a floppy disk and do whatever magic they did to get them converted to slides. Provided we gave them a 4-6 week lead time on when we needed them, and ideally for class slides, that we have our disks to them a semester in advance. I can’t count the number of times I said in a lecture or at a conference, “now this information is just a little out of date but …”

When I “graduated” (hehe) from the college and moved on to my job in staff development for a for-profit company I also graduated to computer generated slides and the then latest and not quite greatest thing, webinars. Our company had locations in 46 states. We were one of the first to embrace distance learning and I was in charge of it. To make a long story short (I know…too late), it wasn’t the best of things to be one of the first to embrace.  You know all those things they say will work a lot better once they get the kinks out of? I was the “they” doing the de-kinking in that thing.

Eventually, the technology caught up with the desire and computer generation presentations whether live in person, live online, or recorded became as professional looking as the professionals behind the information presented. All at about the last time I ever used “slides” with a presentation.

I had and still have nothing against visual aids in a lecture. I merely moved on from that. In the last 10 years I gave one presentation accompanied by slides. The others have been more of a straight stand-up style like a keynote or after meal remarks, freed from worry over whether my words match whatever is projected on the wall behind me. And as such, I’ve quite lost touch with, and likely my touch with, presentation software.

As fortune has it, next week I am doing a short presentation and have been asked if I would please bring slides and handouts. Oh where oh where are those AV guys now?

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And now we are at the place where you typically see a blurb about the latest Uplift blog post. In that post we tell a story about telling a story.

But before you go look, have you still not thought about joining the ROAMcare community and have the weekly Uplift blog delivered to your email as soon as it hits the website? In addition to an Uplift release every Wednesday, you will also receive weekly a Monday Moment of Motivation, and our email exclusive Friday Flashback repost of one of our most loved publications. All free and available now at  ROAMcare.org.

It’s That Time Again

Michael 15 Comments

Yep, it’s time again to clear some of the cobwebs and other unwanted things and thoughts rattling around in my brain.

I’m happy to report to you this week that Jingle, aka the yointer, had his surgery last week and is recovering nicely. You will recall due to an osteosarcoma he had his left, front leg and shoulder amputated. The surgery was last Tuesday and by Sunday he is bounding up and down stairs (against his vet’s wishes for a quiet, and not overly exerted rehab. Try telling “don’t do that” to a dog.)

In other news, I hope everyone who has has hurricanes and tornadoes pass through their yards over the last couple weeks is well, not injured, and can take a few deep breaths while working on restoring life to normal.

The weather along the east coast reminded me of a favorite gripe of mine. Why are airlines so freaking stupid. There were flights from Nashville to Dallas delayed because Tampa was closed. What genius decided “we’re going route all our flights through and park all our planes at airports all along the coast so that at the first hint of weather, whether hurricanes in the south or ice storms in the north, we can cripple the entire country’s air traffic. [evil laugh].” There are perfectly good airports at Pittsburgh Cleveland, Cincinnati, Nashville and other inland cities that are relatively weather safe and could serve as eastern hubs, but no, they have to pick an airport within sight of the ocean. Delta made a little more sense sticking with Atlanta. If only they weren’t Delta they might actually be able to keep an on-time schedule going.

Speaking of airlines, has anybody seen jeenie.weenie on either Instagram or YouTube? She’s probably on other sites too but those are the two I know for sure. (Hey, I don’t make up these peoples’ handles, I just write what I see). Jeenie is a current or former flight attendant and has some of the most “scratch your head and say dayam, if they ain’t right” posts about stuff, mostly air travel, but other things too. It really makes you think about how we really do that crap. Here’s a link to a random YouTube video.

That’s all I have for this week. It’s been a a little crazy but slowly getting back to normal. What would really help is if all the particularly stupid people running for office would stop sending me text messages about how dangerous, extreme, and radical their opponent is, I’d have lots more time to get things back to normal.

Oh, that reminds me…I put this little news nugget out there every couple of years and nobody believes me, but this year I have proof. Do you know political ads do not have to stick to the truth? Yes, not only can politicians lie, they are allowed to lie. Below is a little snippet from the paper (a real news newspaper) to a television columnist’s weekly Q&A column. Yes, politicians can lie, and stations must run it, if the ad is from the politician’s campaign. Third party ads can’t lie. Politicians themselves can. How can you tell the difference? If the ad includes the words “I’m [an old guy with a bad fake tan] and I approve this message” or something like that, it is a politician’s own political ad and it is also a good chance that it is a lie.

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See you next week, same approximate time, same equivalent channel.

Here we are again at the place where used to seeing a blurb here about the latest Uplift blog post. That post is about how you can Make Me Happy, and it might surprise you how.

But before you go look, have you yet thought about joining the ROAMcare community and have the weekly Uplift blog delivered to your email as soon as it hits the website. In addition to an Uplift release every Wednesday, you will also receive weekly a Monday Moment of Motivation, and our email exclusive Blast from the Past repost of one of our most loved publications every Friday. All free and available now at  ROAMcare.org.

It’s that time again

Michael 11 Comments

It’s that time again. This is just way too much stuff up in my brain and if I don’t open the release valve and let some out, I’m going to end up with a massive headache.

Speaking of headaches, does anyone else remember the Excedrin Headache Number ___ commercials. I was hoping to find a list of them. I don’t know why, but I was, and I can’t. I did find some of the commercials though. Excedrin headache #20- the new secretary, #24- what’s for dinner, #39- shopping for shoes, and #44- driving home. If anyone knows of others, please let me know too. They were the kind of low-key comedy we can use today.

Not at all comedic, I wonder what’s the remedy for headache #AK47. Oh wait. I know. Thoughts and prayers. In case you missed it, after the 14 year old shot 4 people in school in Georgia that everyone was talking about, 2 days later in Maryland a 16 year old shot a 15 year old in a high school bathroom, then the day after that a fine defender of the Second Amendment brought a new definition to the term ‘road rage’ when he randomly shot at passing cars on a Kentucky highway.

Something else not comedic, merely desperate and a grave sign of insecurity, when did it become the new macho standard for men to wear black wedding bands? News flash– they look even more stupid than a shaved head combined with a full beard.

On a lighter note, remember when I was bemoaning the loss of color in modern automobiles. Just yesterday morning there was a pretty, light blue car that pulled up in front of my house. It was such a refreshing sight. And I thought a welcome sight too. Maybe I was getting company! But no, they were there to visit the folks next door. [Sigh]

Speaking of cars, I saw a video last week of a guy showing off the new to him 30 year old roadster. Being an owner of 25 year old roadster it was up my alley, or driveway. He happened to mention some of the more atypical factory options the car included and mentioned the original owner “ticked the box off on that on the options sheet.” That brought back an old memory – ordering a car. Did you ever order a car from the factory? Let me know. I’ve bought new cars, I’ve bought old cars. Once, I actually ordered a car. Went into the dealership and sat down with a sales person and an option sheet and actually ordered the very car I wanted. I remember what it was but not when. A black on black Buick Riviera T-Type. I think 1982 but it could have been 1984. I ordered it but never got it. The order went in 2 days before the auto workers staged a strike against GM and that was the end of that.

Football season is here. Also yesterday, shortly before noon the neighborhood was filled with the sounds of life. People out for walks, lawnmowers whirring, backyard chatter, the occasional passing car. At 1:00pm, Eastern Time, aka KICKOFF TIME! all activity ceased. There may have been cheers raised, calls debated, and chips crunched, but if those were happening, they were happening behind closed doors in front of newly purchased from last week’s Labor Day sales big big big(!) screen TVs.

Tomorrow night is the Presidential debate and that is when people should be hunkered down in front of the television and for most of the last 15 elections (if we want to consider 1960 as the opening of the debate generation) most people would be. They seem someone unnecessary now the for the last two election cycles, one of the debaters has decided to not encumber himself with the truth. And still some people are brain dead enough to actually consider it for president. [Shudder]

I feel better now and we now return you to your regularly scheduled headache.

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We have a choice every day. Do we make it fun or will it be dreadful? Death is tragic often enough. Don’t make life tragic also. Read our take on that at Each Day a Bonus, the latest Uplift blog at ROAMcare.

Why I hate Twitter and other things that annoyed me this week

Michael 16 Comments

Greetings fellow blog warriors. Worriers? Whichever. I had not planned a brain dump so close to the last one, but the pool is rising, and I must open the valves.

I am certain that I’ve mentioned this before, but I might have merely thought I had because it is a thought I think often and to be honest about it, as a thought it is pretty petty. And isn’t it something than pretty and petty by themselves conjure up such different emotions yet the only difference between the two is a lower case “r” and even that is one of the least interesting letters we have. English has so many words in it and they all come from different language sources, except for the ones that some social nitwits couldn’t find the right emotion to convey with 170,000 and some words we already have so they invent more like “talmbout” which according to dictionary.com is a shorthand version of “to talk about” and their example is “There’s a bear outside? What you talmbout?” (Personally, my favorite new word is “tifo” as “fevered impassioned support” of something, drawn from the Italian word for typhus. Yes, it started with soccer fans. How’d you guess?) Now where the aich ee double toothpicks was I? Oh right, uninteresting letters. With all those words from all those root languages, where are all the diacritical marks. [Sigh] Anyway, I was about to bring up something pretty petty.

I’m sure many of you know that I’ve had my lifetime of medical and physical challenges. One remaining idiot-synchronicity is a tendency to fall over at inopportune times, not that there are many opportune times to fall over. As a result, I always walk with a cane although I don’t always really need it. If I was able to tell when, then they wouldn’t be inopportune. Anyway, I also have a handicap placard that I sometimes take advantage of when I’ve been out for a particularly long time, or when I may be particularly tired and at a greater risk of imbalance and plopping. (Now there’s a good word I pulled out of the seldom used but perfectly acceptable section of the dictionary. You didn’t see me make up a new word for inopportune falling.)

The other day was one of those days and I had one more stop to make before I headed home. I pulled into the parking lot of approximately 24,000 spaces, about a couple of dozen or so signed pregnant women and new mothers (I never understood why not one for new fathers shopping with children, not that it matters to me because when I was a new father, there were no such spaces for either parent), two for veterans, and all of 6 handicap spots.  Technically I am entitled to a veteran space also, but I always feel I should leave those to the older veteran who now has to fend for himself or herself, and quite often forget that I am that older veteran fending for myself. But still, I stay out of them.

That day all 6 of the handicap spaces were taken, which is fine because we all need to accept what life hands out, right? But of those 6, two were occupied by vehicles (not cars, but my favorite rant-able vehicle (pronounced vee-hick-ul) that requires a step stool to climb into. That in itself irks me. If you can climb into a lifted Hummeresque veehickul, you aren’t handicapped. Least not physically. But these two were occupied by two youngish sorts, the types who don’t make up new words because they already know the basic top ten (I’ll have a beer. Where’s the freaking john? Yo babe!), idling their monster trucks, with handicap placards vibrating on the dashboards. Why were they there? They drove Grammy to the store and used her card to “park” in the designated spot while the dear old lady goes in and does all her own shopping. I know. I’ve asked. (Yes, I can exhibit a frightening lack of judgement when I get tired and cranky.)

Anyway, I find it irksome when people are parked in a handicap spot that aren’t parked. Drop Meemaw off at the door, and go park in front of the beer distributor. Or better still, park in her spot and go in with her and help her, you useless twit! (Another perfectly good word you just don’t hear any more)

Moving on to number two of this week’s annoyances is one that actually wasn’t annoying at all. In fact, it was funny as all get out. (No? Yes! Oh, get out of here! No, you get out of here!) Just yesterday my daughter and I were brunching together and complaining about our watches, specifically our Apple Watches, and specifically specifically the fitness app thereon. Our conversation centered around the seeming haphazard accounting of calories and active time. “I can go up and down two flights of steps carrying laundry both ways and got nothing. But sit on the floor with my head in the oven, cleaning of course, and it racks up the calories burned like I was running a marathon, which, by the way, when I did this year, I swear it counted only the first 4 miles.” Clearly that was my daughter’s contribution to the rant because I haven’t attempted any distance running for about 30 years. And to be fair, all fitness watches and bracelets and rings have their foibles (another underused word), but Apple turned it into a game with their darned fitness rings. Gotta close those rings every day. As my daughter put it, we’re the human equivalent of a Tamagotchi doll. And darned if she wasn’t right!

And what was the other. Oh yeah, Twitter. Elon sucks.

I’m sure now by next Monday I’ll be able to put together a proper post for you all. Have a good week!

When a child’s first toy is a kid-size tablet, we shouldn’t be surprised some basic life skills will be a struggle. But as we said in the most recent Uplift, if we keep our minds sharp, we can still allow computers to do the heavy mental lifting of the everyday without losing our grip on the basic. Read about it in “If you give a teen a penny.”

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Lather, rinse, stop!

Michael 14 Comments

I started out in my mind to do an old fashioned brain dump. It’s been a while since I went through the cobwebs up there and I have things that need to be said. Like, I didn’t think I’d ever say a remote control for a ceiling fan is necessary. Get up and pull the chain or wire it into a rheostat switch on the wall. But the fan I got has one and I’m not going to use the fan just because it has a piece of hardware of questionable use. But I gotta tell you this. I love it. And the best part about it…it has an indicator to indicate (what else) the fan speed. No more looking at the fan and carrying on this conversation with yourself. “Is it off? Hmm, Maybe? One more pull? Yeah, I think one more pull. Oh no! Not back to high! Ugh!”

And then there’s that little mini-rant that’s been waiting to blossom into a full post but just doesn’t have have the legs to pull it off. That is, the TSA has been setting records for passengers screened since Memorial Day.  Who are all these people? Surely, they aren’t the same ones who are complaining that produce prices are just too high! “Screw inflation! We’re going to Disney!”

But actually, the one that could get me going for a full post is sort of related to that. It’s this new thing I’m reading about, upflation. Yep. Upflation. It’s the art of getting you to buy more of something you already buy so you have to buy more of it. The example most often cited is All Over Body Deodorant. Basically, the same stuff as in that stick or spray or roll-on you already have in your medicine cabinet, perhaps a little watered down or unscented, for all the places you don’t see when you raise your arms unless you happen to be naked.

The story goes that people finally figured out that 52 ounces isn’t a half-gallon. Even though they took those pesky ounces from your juice container an ounce at a time, eventually someone got around to ask, where did the other 12 ounces go and why am I still paying for them. “Shrinkflation isn’t working any more, we corporate management people need to come up with some other way of fleecing Americans. I got, let’s just convince them they need more of what we already have out there.” Thus, upflation.

It’s not just remarketing older products for new uses. Pepsi, the parent of Frito-Lay actively searches sites like TicToc for trends like uses Cheetos dust for chicken seasoning. People are already crushing perfectly good Cheetos into dust. Will that be on the shelf next? They have to do something with all the broken Cheetos that don’t make it to the bag. You say, it couldn’t happen? You know General Mills sells “Cinnadust” Cinnamon Toast Crunch (my personal favorite cereal) in the spice section. Can’t find it there? You can always order it online. And don’ tell me you haven’t thought about picking up some graham cracker crumbs at pie baking time  

Personally, I don’t know why I’m making a big deal out of this now that it has a name. They’ve always been working to get you to use more of what’s already out there. Does anybody not lather, rinse, repeat?

Thank you. That felt good to get that off my chest. Now, if only there was a special razor to get all this hair off my chest.

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The Fourth of July is over, but feeling good about America should be an all year thing. America works because our differences are what makes us unique as a country. Check out the latest Uplift and see why we say America is at its best when we play together. (Go on, take a look. It’s even free!

The dedication of a lifetime

Michael 8 Comments

While you are taking time off today for Memorial Day in the US, try to remember why we remember.

I’ve written a few times of my disdain for spam, junk e-mail. There just seems something more intrusive, and more distasteful about it, than other kinds of unwanted solicitation. Recently, I started getting emails from something called “Patriotic Points.” It’s a poorly written, poorly disguised bit of campaign dreck spouting the lies we’ve all been on added with since November 2020. Normally I just click on the ”this is spam, keep it away from me” button and let the email client do its work, but this time I (foolishly) clicked “unsubscribe.” Within the week I was bombarded with a variety of ‘newsletters’ all with different names and subjects, but from the same email address each calling themselves American, Patriotic, Truth-seekers, but none of them living up to their self-acclaimed appellations.

I find something particularly sad about his year’s Memorial Day. So many people are calling themselves or others “patriots” who have never lived the word. It seems we’ve been too concerned Artificial Intelligence misleading us, we forget politicians invented the AI process. For 10 years I woke in a Memorial Day and dressed in uniform, not for a parade or a cemetery honor guard, but to report for duty. None of those years were spent in combat zones, but each day for all of them started not knowing that. Steadily, we performed our duties in training knowing that one day we could report for duty and be loaded into a transport plane for a point to be announced en route. We were not heroes, but we were and are patriots, as in the real definition of patriot.

So today when you see the parade pass by or see a flag wave, remember why we remember. “Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.” (Adlai Stevenson)

Happy Memorial Day

As we move through life, our needs change and so do the energy and interest we pay to activities and events.  As one interest wanes, another rises to keep the mind and body moving at the same energy level. It all works out.

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Artificially yours

Michael 9 Comments

I’m on notice. Me. Mr. Niceguy. The one who follows (almost) all the rules no matter how boring that makes me. Still, I’m the one in trouble.  But… I admit I did what I’ve been accused of. No “not guilty by reason of I said so” plea for me. No, I did it, I got caught, and I’ll tell you and whoever else wants to know, I’m going to do it again! I posted a manipulated picture. And the bad thing about that is, I didn’t say it wasn’t real. Here it is.

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Some of you might recognize this. It is the “cover art” that accompanied the ROAMcare blog post Spring Cleaning. I wanted a picture of a spray of daffodils and a red convertible. As luck would have it, I happened to have in my own photo library two very such pictures, and in years past, I would have spent hours cropping them, removing backgrounds, matching sizes, colors, brightness, and perspectives, then combining them and adding the resulting composite to the placeholder, overlay the text, and finally celebrate the job well done with a bowl of moose tracks ice cream. Instead, I took advantage of a tool at my disposal and told my handy dandy image generator (i.e. AI app), “show a spray of daffodils with a red convertible in the background,” and dished out the ice cream while it thought about this for a while. I knew it wouldn’t be exactly what I wanted but I made up for that with an extra scoop

Some time later, I added that image to our website, the email campaign, and the social media sites, Instagram, Threads, LinkedIn, Facebook, and the one that used to be known as Twitter. And there was the problem child. That last one. The one that doesn’t even have enough confidence in itself to give itself a name, just some generic letter used for centuries as the signature stand-in for the illiterati. It dared to lock the organization account until I could prove we are humans. Thus, I was forced to solve a series of computer-generated puzzles to prove I am myself not computer-generated.

I suppose I will now be counted among the many when the owner of said anonymous site defends his company from claims of spreading questionable if not outright false information by saying “Why in the last month alone we limited access and deterred the activities of 196 billion, and that’s so big it starts with a b billion, users caught red-handed posting AI manipulated photos. We the best there is at not spreading lies. And while we’re at it, the earth is flat and we know smart people who say so!”

And guess what? I did the same thing a week later when I posted a generated image of two geese sitting on eggs in a nest. What can I say. Lock me up!

Every life is a life worth living. Celebrate with us the memory of a man who kept so many very much alive in Staying Alive.

Time zones

Michael 13 Comments

I just hung up from what I consider the most annoying, most useless, and most aggravating of all phone calls. Even more of all the above superlatives than the calls that promise they can submit my paperwork and get me the payroll reimbursements for my personnel costs during the pandemic shutdowns (which considering I have no business and thus no employees I would have paid, that would be such a great trick they should go on the Las Vegas stage with it). No the most annoying, most useless and most aggravating of all phone calls are the doctor appointment reminder calls.

I am absolutely serious about that. Those are the most of all the above and I hate them. Despise them. Abhor them. And yes, I’m probably making too much of them, but by gosh they bother me.

First of all, they aren’t the pleasant receptionist at the office going through the upcoming week’s schedule making the calls. They are the cheapest versions of the most primitive robotic callers that make the computer on the original Star Trek series sound like Barbra Streisand.  You must know the script.

“Hello. This. Is. The. Office. Of. Doctor. VeryImportant. Calling. For. PatientFullName. If. This. Is. PatientFullName. Please. Press. One. If. This. Is. Not. PatientFullName. Please. Press. Two. I’m. Sorry. I. Did. Not. Understand. Your. Response.  If. This. Is. PatientFullName. Please. Press. One. If. This. Is. Not. PatientFullName. Please. Press. Two. Thank. You. This. Is. The. Office. Of. Doctor. VeryImportant. Calling. To. Remind. PatientFullName. Of. An. Appointment. On. Tuesday. October. Twenty. Fourth. At. Ten. O. Clock. In. The. Morning. Please. Press. One. To. Confirm. This. Appointment. Or. Press. Two. To. Speak. With. Someone. To. Reschedule. I’m. Sorry. I. Did. Not. Understand. Your. Response.  Please. Press. One. To. Confirm. This. Appointment. Or. Press. Two. To. Speak. With. Someone. To. Reschedule. Thank. You. We. Look. Forward. To. Seeing. PatientFullName. Soon. Para. Continuar. En. Español. Presione. La. Tecla. Estrella.

If that’s not bad enough, these calls come after the text message reminders, email reminders, and reminders through the hospital system patient “Portal.” Portal schmortal. It’s an app just like McDonalds or Dominos!

Maybe I’m just a bit overly sensitive to these intrusions because after being discharged I now have follow-up appointments with every doctor I’ve ever seen in the last 18 months and each one wants to make sure I get there without delay. Sheesh!

Who they really should be calling are the doctors to remind them they have an appointment with PatienFullName Tuesday morning and get your ass into the office on time!

We start as one of one. Some find another as one of two. Some love others selflessly as one of one-plus. The luckiest of us learn to love and share as much as we can as one of many, becoming community. You read one of one and one of one-plus here, now read the rest of the story, one of many at Uplift!

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