Tag Airplane

Trick or Treat – ish, Part 2

Michael 6 Comments

Yes, yes, more tricks and treats coming out of the cobweb filled corners of my brain.

THOGHT ONE
It’s fall. Autumn. That season between summer and winter when apparently it can be either summer or winter depending on Mother Nature’s mood. Last week outside my door snow accumulated for the first time this season. Last week outside my door it was 80 degrees (About 26 or 27 C). Man does that make it difficult to decided what pajamas to wear! TRICK

It’s fall. Autumn. Spring is probably more colorful based on the wide variety of hues displayed by blossoming plants and blooming flowers, but autumn leaves have to be the most dramatic display of nature’s beauty with its riot of reds and yellows and oranges. TREAT!

 

THOUGHT TWO

It’s fall. Autumn. Pumpkin spice flavor everything season. REPEAT TRICK

It’s fall. Autumn. Apple everything season. From apple butter to apple cider to apple fritters to apple soup. Last week I made a batch of apple fritters from freshly picked apples. I can’t scientific prove it, but I’m sure they tasted better than from those store bought apples you get in February. And you say you never had apple soup? There are a million recipes for it on line (okay okay, that’s an exaggeration, maybe only two or three hundred), this is the one I most often used. YUMMY, COLORFUL TREAT!!

 

THOUGHT THREE (Part A)

A throwback to my recent plan ride. Did you know they don’t have air all catalogs in the seat back pockets in planes anymore? What are we supposed to read during take off and landing when you can’t be connected to the in flight Wi-Fi? TRICK

If you’re sitting by a window it is still a thrill to see yourself being lifted from the ground and cutting through the clouds in take off and watch the land become more and more distinct like you own personal nature movie on landing. TREAT!

THOUGHT THREE (Part B)

Did you know they now have in flight Wi-Fi? Can we never get away from being plugged in? TRICK
You are still allowed to read a real book, take a real nap, or if you get a friendly seat mate, talk to a real person. TREAT!

 

THOUGHT FOUR

I’m done with thoughts for this week. Go in. You can admit it. TREAT!!

Don’t tell anybody, it’s a secret, but there will be even more next week too! TRICK!!!

Extra bonus THOUGHT

What happens when someone breaks down your front door? Surprise! When things go unexpectedly, stay calm. See it as a chance to learn and grow. A true story you have to read at ROAMcare.org.

 

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I’ll Have What He’s Having

Michael 3 Comments
The Academy Awards are behind us and the Oscar hoopla has pretty much faded away. I have a few more old Oscar nominees to watch. I’m still used to the awards being presented in March and February being the time to relish in the performances. Is it just me or do actors tend to speak better when reading somebody else’s lines as scripted than when they try to go their own way on the award stage? Anyway, I prefer the movie actor to the award show actor and often the movie world to real realty. Ironic, no?
 
Something that hit me this year watching my usual overdose level of film history is how much out there in movie land we can really use in real people land. Television land also has some pretty nifty gadgetry that we mere mortals could benefit from. Take for instance in 1966 just asking “Yo computer, how much longer till we get to the Romulan border?” and sure enough some snarky female voice speaks back “the. border. is. one. hundred. forty. light. years. away. and. will. be. reached. in. twenty. eight. and. one. half. minutes. if. you. don’t. stop. for. take. out. on. the. way.” Did Gene Roddenberry know Siri and Alexa were coming? If we’ve been able to harness computer power to become our personal assistants, why not some other seemingly outlandish inventions.
 
For example:
Movie people must have dishes that dry and put themselves away. I’ve seen dozens of movies this month with people eating and drinking and even in some instances washing dishes. But nobody ever dries them or puts them away. The only Oscar nominated movie I recall seeing somebody with towel in hand, drying dishes was Carole Lombard in My Man Godfrey. She didn’t do a really great job of drying and didn’t put them away but she was a millionaire socialite so I guess just the attempt at drying part was something special. They all have self-cleaning carpets also.
 
TelephoneThis one we sort of had but then technology took it away and we need it back – a phone you can pick up the reciever and just say who you want and somebody gets them for you. You need to go back to the 1930s for this invention. Everybody from cops to robbers to femme fatales to innocent bystanders could go to any phone and say “Get me John Smith” and sure enough, an operator would find John Smith, and the right John Smith. Progress took this away quickly (The Front Page). By the 1940s people were dailing their own numbers (Going My Way), by the 50s were getting wrong numbers (Anatomy of a Murder), by the 60s they were tearing pages out of phone books (In the Heat of the Night), and eventually we’ve worked our way to a time when there are no phone books and if you ask your computer assistant for John Snith’s number, unless John Smith is among you personal contacts, the answer will be, “I’m sorry I don’t have enough information.”
 
Cars run on no gas. Imagine not just driving for days, week, even months without filling up, but driving hard, fast, and often in multiple countries and never visiting a fuel station. Racing movies aside, nobody ever stops to fill up. The French Connection wouldn’t have stood a chance for Best movie if Popeye Doyle ran out of gas on 86th Street. The only movies I recall seeing somebody at a gas pump are High Sierra and National Lampoon’s Vacation and neither were Oscar nominees in any category. (I should note that in Vacation, Chevy Chase is seen wiping and putting away dishes but I believe they hadn’t been washed yet, so…)
 
Since I brought up non-nominees there are some things in almost every movie I’d like to see happen. 
 
Airplanes with aisles wide enough to walk down two abreast (with a refreshment cart even) and seats with more legroom than in my living room. Sticking with the travel theme, cruise ships with cabins bigger than my living room. Entire blocks unoccupied in front of the building I want to enter so I can just pull up and park – and never having to parallel park (nobody parallel parks in the movies), and airport parking lots that never charge for parking. Formal wear for casinos. Subways never overcrowded and always on time unless being hijacked. And those telephones that when they are set to vibrate you still know a call is incoming even if you are 3 rooms away. 
 
And – a hot tub time machine. Hey Alexa, let’s kick some past!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

We’re On Vacation, Part 1

Michael 2 Comments

You recall the scene in “City Slickers” where Billy Crystal is being dragged behind a galloping horse holding on to the reins, looking to the camera and shouting, “I’m on vacation!” almost as much to convince himself as to inform the world of his status.  We just got back from ours and although we had a wonderfully restful time, we also occasionally had to convince ourselves that we were indeed on vacation.

We don’t get to take a break often enough and nobody was going to take away from our leisure.  We’ll do a day trip or a weekend, but to take 10 days off for either of us and then to coordinate schedules for both of us is hard.  When we saw we would be able to do it this year we jumped at the chance to do it in a big, relaxing way.  Even so, every now and then we had to voice our mantra, “We’re on vacation.”

Neither of We travels much by plane.  He of We does a business trip every once in a great while; She of We has averaged one roundtrip per year for the last three years.  When it came to packing we were pretty careful to keep our checked bags to one each and thus the checked bag fee equally to one each.  Both of We packed our carry ons quite sparingly.  He of We used his classic pilot case and a smaller shoulder bag with net-book, e-reader, and some snacks. She of We carried a quite attractive leather tote with her reader, a few pieces of jewelry, and a matching purse.  All would easily fit “in the overhead bin or under the seat in front of you” as the gate agents announced several times over.

Unfortunately, not everybody obeyed that travel law.  While we were at the gate we saw many future plane-mates wheeling quite overstuffed, oversized cases that would no more fit into the overhead bins than those wheeling them.  About 5 minutes before boarding began the agents announced to the gate lounge, “We have a full flight today and as the plane fills we will most likely be asking people to check their carry-ons.  If you’d like to save some time you can bring your bag to the podium now and we’ll check it through for you to your final destination at no additional charge.”  Not only were these wheelers with the not so carryable carry ons breaking the carry on law, they were getting paid for it and payment was the equivalent of what it cost us to check our bags when we first walked into the airport.  But that was ok.  “We’re on vacation.” 

When we got to board, which was sometime after the first class passengers, those needing assistance, the gold members, the platinum members, the plutonium members, the friends of the chairmen, the preferred select group, the regular select group, the airline credit card holders, and those travelling with young children, we noticed there were still those with the monster carry ons that wouldn’t fit into the overhead compartments.  We observed one fellow drag his not so mini-suitcase from bin to bin, hoist it to overhead bin level, and attempt to force it into the compartment. Either he didn’t realize that each bin was the same height or he thought his case was losing weight from the jumping jacks it was doing.  “We’re on vacation.”

Eventually the flight attendants gathered up all the oversized carry ons and checked them through to their final destinations (at no additional charge) and we made our way to the runway where we were number three to take off.  Six hours and one airport later we emerged onto a palm treed, sun drenched some 2,000 miles from home.  “We’re on vacation!”

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

The Road Untraveled

Michael Leave a comment

“Do you know there’s an alternate security area? Right through those doors, go to the end of the hall.  You’ll walk a little farther but there won’t be any lines and when you go through you’ll come right out at the tram.”  It was the most He of We ever heard a TSA agent speak at one time.  But who would know better how to beat the crush of early morning flyers?  And that was a real smile on his face and he even wished He of We a good day and a safe flight.  What a pleasant, early start to what was going to be a long, apprehensive day.

And it was early.  Sometime not quite yet 4:30.  In the morning.  How many flyers could there be at the main screening area?  Still, he was right there and the agent seemed earnest in getting people to use the alternate site.  So through the doors He of We pushed, down the hall, over the bridge, around the bend (he was indeed walking farther), down another hall, to the head of the line.  And all by himself.  Not bad.

After a quick run through the scanners, pat down, and carry on inspection, he was down the escalator and onto the people mover. Which was packed!  At still not 4:30.  In the morning.  Apparently a lot of people travel this early.  He of We wasn’t usually one of them.  His preferred travel time was anytime between sun up and sun down.  And his usual companion was She of We and she wasn’t one of the early travelers.  He of We would be navigating three airports, one plane change, 3 time zones, and a “commuter jet” alone this day.

Airport One was turning out to be pretty good thanks to the helpful man from the TSA.  He already knew the landing and departing gates for Airport Two and knew they were a 15-20 minute walk apart and he’d be there for 90 minutes so even the dreaded connection should be ok.  But he had to get from here to there on the dreaded “commuter jet.”  A lifetime of travelling and he’d never flown on one of these compacts of the airplane world.  After getting used to the idea that he was in a plane that could not fit his carry-on of half the size of a standard roll-aboard, and that the emergency card advised in the event of an emergency to step out of the emergency exit (what, no inflatable slide?), he settled his 20 inch bottom into the compact 18 inch seat and enjoyed the hospitality of the single flight attendant while she pushed the compact refreshment cart through the compact aisle.

A bit over an hour later they were at Airport 2 and after another hour He of We was listening to the boarding instructions of the gate attendant.  After pre-boarding the first class passengers, the diamond level frequent flying “partners,” the sapphire and emerald members, the lowly platinum and gold people, and the run of the mill priority flyers, the 40 of us who were left got to climb onto the Boeing 737 for another 4 hours of above cloud commuting.  He was quite thrilled to see an empty seat next to him, flight attendants who smiled, and that he remembered to put a set of ear buds in his carry-on which was now nestled under the seat in front of him.  It was going to be a reasonably pleasant 4 hours.

Those hours went fast enough and soon they were above a body of water that led to Hawaii and points west as they circled to get into position for their approach to (at last!) ground transportation.  To make a short story long, having only to wait 10 minutes for said transportation he was soon standing in front of the desk clerk at the hotel saying “of course you can check in early.” And thus it was that after 10 hours since he pulled in the parking lot of Airport 1 He of We was ready to open the door to his room and close the door on the Trip Not From Hell.

It was one of the first that had gone nearly hitch free for many thousands of miles.  While he thought of that he thought of the smiling TSA agent who wished him a good day.  Perhaps wishes do come true.  Naw, it was just a coincidence.  Of course, if She of We appeared on the other side of that door he was ready to change his mind.  

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?