Category Society

Return to the Paper Standard

Michael Leave a comment

Who hasn’t heard of the debit card fiasco at Target?  That story broke almost immediately after its discovery in December and still commands news space today.  Just as the most furious of the stories were waning about Target we heard that Neiman Marcus had a similar breach only this one was three months before its news release.  And just this past week we have heard that Michael’s card processing program was also a victim sometime last summer.  At least Target had the good sense not to hide its problem for six months.  We’re still not going to use our debit cards there ever again but we do appreciate their notice.

A couple of years ago we commented on how the lack of using real money has desensitized us to the true costs of many everyday items.  (See Paper or Plastic, Feb. 23, 2012.)  Then we said that money no longer seems to mean terribly much for many people.  Make your selections.  Swipe your debit card.  If you happen to swipe more times for more funds than you have money in the bank many bankers have overdraft protection pulling funds from savings accounts or automatically debiting lines of credit.  The bankers love that system.  What they collect in account fees and overdraft fees is more than enough to keep them from ever having to shop at Target.  In 2012 banks collected over 29.5 billion (with a B) dollars in overdraft fees.  That’s $29,000,000,000.00 charged to people who didn’t have enough money in their accounts in the first place.

There are certainly times when checks and debit cards are appropriate.  You could pay a bill with a money order if you could find someone who still writes money orders.  The banks still do for hefty fees.  Dropping a check in the mail is still the easiest way.  And if you want to do your banking by internet or through monthly auto-drafts, the debit card is indeed the way to go.  But maybe it’s time to rethink everyday shopping using money.  You remember money?  A funny shade of green, pictures of presidents and statesmen, can go through the wash relatively undamaged when you forget that it is in your pocket.   That money.  Real money.  Money that means something to you when you see it disappear into a cash register never to come back to you but that’s ok because you traded it in for something you really wanted or needed and you won’t have to keep one eye on your on-line bank account to make sure nobody else is using your money.

A couple of years ago we closed a similar post with, “Never actually seeing cash get handed over person to person has clearly kept rising costs out of sight.  Not recognizing the consequences of this lack of concern has clearly put us out of our minds.”  Today the rising costs aren’t just at the register.  Today we see the rising costs in losing control.  It makes one wonder who will be the next retailer to call a press conference over a security breach.  And how it will be our fault for not keeping better watch of our money.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

How to retire on a million dollars a day

Michael Leave a comment

We know our reader demographics fairly well and unless there might be a huge chunk of you who have retired early we’d say most of those who read (and write) these posts are quite some time from taking a permanent vacation.  At least by American standards which are now reaching closer to not beginning until age 67 and certainly even later for those with birth dates from the 1990’s.

Not so long ago on one of the television financial “news” programs, the hostess repeated her oft told opinion that if one plans on a happy and successful retirement, he or she must have at least a million dollars in a retirement account.  Even though we aren’t close to retirement we also aren’t close to having a million dollars in any account, particularly not one that will be left untouched for quite a few years yet to come.  Had we a million dollars in all of our combined accounts we’d probably die of shock and never get around to the retirement anyway.

Where, we would like to know, with houses costing hundreds of thousands of dollars, cars costing tens of thousands of dollars, and bacon costing $4.00 a pound, does one manage to cut back sufficiently to save a million dollars.  We suppose if we were a television host and hostess and making six or seven million dollars a year, we could easily scrape up a million in 40 years of working.  We might even save a few bucks from the radio shows, books, syndicated newspaper columns, and commercial endorsements.  We might be able to save a million dollars for every year of retirement.  Maybe for every day!  But we aren’t.  And we suspect if you are reading this (please, we mean not to pry) you probably aren’t saving at that rate either.

As we said, we aren’t close to retirement ourselves but we know many people who have retired.  Some at the traditional retirement age, some a little earlier, some a little later.  The one thing they all had in common is that they didn’t have a million dollars saved and yet they have managed to live happy and successful retirement lives.  How does one do it living in such abject poverty that comes with having less than a million?  Let’s start with having the big things paid for before hitting retirement.  The mortgages are gone.  New car warranties of 10 years or 100,000 miles are used in entirety.  Clothes last for more than one season.  Dinners out are held to no more than once a week, sometimes even less.  Vacations are instead long weekends.  Credit cards are for true emergencies.  Better still, hard won savings are for true emergencies.  Frugal is not a bad word.  It can be done.

Will anybody ever really need a million dollars to retire?  Probably to the financial pundits who in their working lives are making six or seven million dollars a year, a million seems to be the bare minimum.  Thank goodness they’ll still be eligible for social security.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Happy Boxing Day?

Michael Leave a comment

Happy Boxing Day!

That may be the first time we’ve ever verbalized that sentiment.  The last time we even mentioned Boxing Day was in a post from two years back (On the Second Day of Christmas, Dec. 26, 2011, in Life).  There was no “Happy” with it because it wasn’t a salutation.  It was just a mention.

Just a mention is about as much thought as Boxing Day gets in the U.S.  Other than being a cousin to St. Stephen’s Day, what is Boxing Day?  If you’re one of our regular readers from Canada, England, or Belize you can probably skip ahead a paragraph.  Or not.  That way you tell us how far afield we are.

To us it seems to be a fine example of the Christmas spirit.  Apparently it started out as the rich and powerful, landowners, gentry, or what have you in whatever country you are, planned their Christmas feasts.  They found themselves in need of those to serve said feast along with answering the doors, passing the appetizers, mixing the drinks, preparing accommodations for overnight guests, and other things that would go along with a proper celebration.  Since those doing the serving were thus tied up on Christmas Day, the well to do would give them the following day off to be with their families, often sending them home with boxes of gifts and perhaps even leftovers.  Thus, Boxing Day.

Today, if you were to ask someone in America about this tradition you might get answers like “They got paid for working the holiday, didn’t they?” But that’s just why it’s such a great Christmas story.  Of course they received whatever recompense they would for serving their employers and their employers’ guests.  But in a time when money meant more then than now they also knew that their real pay came in the gratitude of those they served.  The boxes of presents were more tips than payment, more appreciation than obligation, more friendship between those who ask and those who do than charity between those who have and those who don’t.

Boxing Day may be a tradition America could learn from.  We may live in a time and place that great household holiday festivals aren’t the norm even for the very rich.  But there are plenty of people who give up their holiday to serve.  Fireman, police, paramedics, and hospital workers are the essential servants in our time and place.  When their shifts are over on Christmas or any other holiday, they may take home boxes of presents but they do take home our gratitude for being there for us every day.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Who Could Ask For Anything More

Michael 1 Comment

Every now and then we look forward to retirement.  Oh, that is going to be years and years away, but it’s nice to sit and dream.  It seems that there are lots of retired people we know who have jobs.  Retirement jobs.  They tend bar on the slow nights, they drive limos, or they sit behind the big desk being the building receptionist.

That got us to thinking, if we didn’t have to work for money to live on, what would be our ideal jobs.  She of We would like to make floral arrangements or on a grander scale, design gardens.  He of We wants to own a Dairy Queen.  Nice, quiet, safe jobs.

But then we got to thinking, sometimes one could have the nice, quiet, safe job from the worker perspective, but how about those jobs that from the patrons perspective are the perfect jobs.  (When we think, we think big.  Or at least different.)  So what are the jobs that nobody can ever complain about when they are the patrons?

Let’s start with the ice cream stand.  For the worker it can be a headache sometimes.  Lines of Little Leaguers waiting for their celebratory soft serve next to the lines of losers waiting for their consolation cone.  But even though there are lines and the workers are working up a sweat scooping out the good stuff, nobody in line at the Dairy Queen, et. al. is in a bad mood.  They know there will be a sweet treat for them at the end of their wait and they’re willing to wait it.  Much different from the lines at the driver license picture taking place.

It seems nobody ever gets stressed at a book store.  We know most everybody is saying that book stores are a dying business but while they are still breathing they are places where the customer is always tranquil.  What’s to be upset over?  Maybe a book is out of print. It could be a little disheartening and probably it could be found on the Internet anyway.  But at the bookstore, there’s someone there to pour over the computer screen, slogging through the search engines, looking for the elusive title.  All the while our intrepid customer is skimming the best sellers, having a cappuccino and colache, and listening to the CD samplers in the music section.

A place where stress is the norm for the worker but the patrons are de-stressed to the max is at the amusement park.  The employees at the parks have it rough.  They are standing many hours and standing those hours in hot sun.  If they aren’t standing they are leaning against hard metal chair-like props.  And for the poor souls who maintain rides that ride in circles there is always that trip out to the ride proper to clean up one of the few times the rider might be just a tad stressed.  But we love these worker bees.  With a punch of a button or a pull on a lever they do to us what amusement parks are intended to do.  They amuse.  And what can be better than that?

Yes, there are those jobs that are ideal jobs but really, how many of us get them anyway.  The better ideal jobs are the ones somebody else is doing that we think are ideal because of the benefits we reap.  That might be just a little selfish but don’t we get to be that sometime?  We vote yes!

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Weddings Gone Wild . . . well, sort of.

Michael 1 Comment

Another June has gone.  Throughout the world there have been probably millions of women transformed into traditional June brides.  We’ve been fortunate enough to experience a few of their transformations.

Early in the month we attended a beautiful outdoors ceremony.  We think the ceremony might have been conducted by a Catholic priest but he might have been Episcopal.  The services are similar.  Had there been a complete mass we would have had a firmer grasp on it.  Whoever he was, he officiated over a beautiful ceremony for a beautiful young couple with as many blessings as one could extend in such setting.  We then walked through the garden to the reception, dinner, and dancing as we toasted the new couple.

At another June wedding we watched another couple joined by an Apache spiritual leader who was also licensed to perform weddings in a state some many hundreds of miles from where one traditionally thinks of when one thinks of traditional Apache holy men.  Again it was a beautiful ceremony and concluded with a traditional Apache blessing for the new couple who can claim native Americanism only because both were born in America.  We then moved from one room in the hotel to another for a cocktail reception, and then to another for dinner and dancing.

Some few days after that there was another wedding at a restaurant and after “I do” was uttered to bride and groom on the patio outside, everyone moved inside and stuck around for what restaurants are known and the couple hosted dinner for all.  Some time before that we were at another wedding performed by a judge in his courtroom.  It was appropriate since both bride and groom were (and still are) lawyers.  The party then crossed the street to move from courtroom to ballroom where the party got started.  Then there was the wedding in the park performed among the trees.  After the happy couple became an official couple the male part fired up the grill while the female part got the music going.

Throughout the world there have been probably millions of women transformed into traditional June brides.  These were a few of them.  We don’t think these were the traditional June wedding.  But then, traditions shift over time.  Traditions only become traditions because they are expected and are continued. Maybe we only have the expectation part left.  We thought we’d have seen at least one of our most recent weddings in a church with an organ and the long walk down a center aisle.

We don’t want to be preachy about it but maybe the preachers of the world better get on their sticks or next June we might not even notice.  We’ll always have the traditional June bride.  Just not the traditional June wedding.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

PS to all the June brides past, present, and future.  Don’t mind us poking a bit of fun.  At the end of the day if you’re married to the one you love, then the wedding was a success.  And that’s what we really think.  Really.

 

Summer Fashions, Summer Rules

Michael 1 Comment

The first day of summer is just a few days gone and it’s time to revisit our summer fashion rules.

For Women:

Most men won’t admit it.  Most other women won’t say it.  the bottom line is we don’t want to see you half naked in public.  Check your hems, watch your buttons.  Unintentional flashes of skin is sexy.   Intentional undressing is slutty.

Swimsuits are for swimming, or for backyard tanning.  Nobody would go to a production of the local symphony wearing a tankini?  Just because a quart of milk is the entire shoppingn list, it isn’t a reason not to get dressed before heading off for the store.  A cover up over a swimsuit works for being at or going to the pool but not in the actual acts of swimming or tanning..  Grow up, wear clothes. 

High heels and short shorts don’t go together.  Period.  Not even if one works with a brass pole nearby.  A business suit and flip flops don’t go together.  Period.  Not even if one works at the beach.  Keep styles stylish.

We know that women don’t want to be encumbered by big bags or totes exept maybe at the pool.  But don’t succomb to the urge to snug your cell phone under a bra strap.  There, we said it.

For Men:

Sleeves are mandatory.  Not areas formerly occupied by sleeves, the entire sleeve.  They are the cross pieces that put the T in T-Shirt.  They are needed.  They are required.  As are the shirts they accompany.  Come on men, the shirtless look hasn’t worked since the opening scenes of Bay Watch flickered across television screens.  Then it wasn’t the best of look even for those on the screen.  It is the worst of looks for those who are in the process of upgrading the six pack they really never had for the quarter keg they have every weekend.

Hair long enough to be in a ponytail on a male only looks good on a male pony.  This seems to be more an old man issue.  The young ones have discovered the ease that comes from buzzing hair down to a bit less than a quarter of an inch.  For the others, you’re old, you’re gray, and you’re balding.  No, you’re bald.  Don’t add to the insanity by having hair halfway down your back and certainly not in braids!  Shave it off, put on your shirt, and move along. 

Flip flops are not shoes.  Leave them at the pool, with your shirt.  Mandals are fine, but like the rest of you, grooming is essential.  Just because your feet are the farthest away from your brain, don’t be brainless about your feet.  Well groomed, trimmed, washed, and buffed feet are also healthy feet.

It’s hot out there.  You can be too.  Pay a little attention to the person in the mirror and watch how many pay attention to you on the outside.       

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

To Thine Own Art Be True

Michael Leave a comment

We recently spent a weekend being charmed and being charming at an absolutely charming spring wedding.  It was one of three wedding events we’re attending over nine days.  When it rains, it pours.

Fortunately, at this one, it did neither.  The sun shone over the outdoors ceremony and continued to the outdoors reception where the music was provided by one of our closest friends and one of the most talented individuals we know.  From ceremony through cocktails and into the dinner he charmed the attendees with his voice and music.  It was a pleasant addition to a delightful celebration.

On one of the other days of that same weekend we strolled the city parks areas in our town’s version of its annual arts festival.  Although it was pleasant, it was not delightful.  Of the almost two hundred artists selling their wares that day, we found a couple we had seen in the past whose works we enjoyed and found a couple new ones who might become favorites.  That puts about 98% of them in the “oh dear” category.  There’s a funny thing about artists, not everything they do is art to everybody.  And we think everybody is winning.

We love the arts and we won’t ever disparage someone from pursuing his or her dream.  Just realize that if that dream is taking vacation pictures on ‘round the world, tax deductible trips, we snap our own memories.  Or if the dream is a single vision in 42 sizes, few will want a collection.  It was unfortunate that these were some of the thoughts we had that day.

We missed a couple of our favorite artists.  Either they chose not to attend or were booked on some other days.  One is a charming lady who takes “local artist” quite seriously.  Everything she paints is local.  Cityscape, landscape, or still-life will be something you recognize but would never have thought of painting.  There is detail in her oil on canvas that those with a digital camera can’t find or don’t know where to look.   When one looks closely at her scenes it doesn’t take long to discover that almost every scene has her husband watching from inside.  Whether she is selling an original or one of her smallest prints, she’ll offer to include a personal inscription.

Another of our favorites not seen that day is on a mission to see that everybody who wants one of his pieces can have one of his pieces.  More than once we’ve heard him say to someone without cash in pocket, “Give me $10 and take it home.  Here’s an envelope, mail me a check.”  To those who can’t afford his work he says, “Pay me what you can every month, when it’s paid, it’s yours.”  He of We once asked if he ever regretted that.  “Never,” he said.  “Not even the one time someone gave me a ten, took my painting, and hooked me for the rest.”

And what does all this have to do with a weekend wedding.  It reminded us that Brother of She has that very troubadour booked for a party soon and is still waiting on his contract.  “You know me.  This is the part I like.  Being with the people.  I get around to the business part eventually but if I have you on my calendar, I’ll show up.  My word is my contract.”

That’s what we were thinking while we were walking the artists’ market and hearing the sound of nobody buying anything.  All the pieces were clearly marked.  All the catalogs and business cards were stacked neatly in the front corners.  But there wasn’t the passion that used to drive the artist who would stretch a canvas or test a microphone connection knowing that there might not be anything there now, but there will be soon.  Something very wonderful, very soon.

You have our word on it.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

 

Everybody, Hit the Road! Oh, Look. They Already Have.

Michael Leave a comment

You know we don’t just pull stuff from the Internet and repeat it.  We’re always looking for the reason, the story, the lesson.  Well, ummm, this one from the Associated Press has none of that.  But it sure is fun to read.

A New Mexico man faces multiple charges after police say he was having sex with a woman while driving drunk and crashed, ejecting the woman from the vehicle.
The Albuquerque Journal reports the 25-year-old man was found with one shoe on and his shorts on inside-out Monday night after he wrecked his Ford Explorer in Albuquerque.
Police say his female passenger was found naked outside the SUV after being ejected. She had deep cuts to her face and head.
Authorities allege he tried to drive away after the crash and leave his passenger behind, but a witness grabbed his keys from the ignition. He also allegedly tried to hide from responding officers behind a cactus.

So tell us, what have we learned from this?

When trying to get it on while on the road, be sure to get your underwear on correctly.

Female passengers should always keep at least a light sweater for those unexpected airborne moments.  A crash helmet may also come in handy.

Check with “What Not to Wear” before going out with only one shoe.  It could be suitable for certain events and may beef up an otherwise questionable alibi.

It’s bad manners to leave your date on the side of the road.

But, just because there are lessons to be learned from this experience doesn’t mean that they have been.  We move from New Mexico to Florida to review the new definition of auto-erotica reported by the Sarasota Herald Tribune::

Two individuals were charged with misdemeanors after a police officer reportedly caught them having sex in a moving car.
The officer spotted a blue Hyundai driving erratically on Hyde Park Street on Thursday and turned on his emergency lights to see if the driver needed help.
The car suddenly pulled across the road and came to a stop. When the officer went to the driver’s door, the couple quickly tried to pull up their pants.
They had been sitting together in the driver’s seat and “it became obvious that they had been engaged in sexual intercourse,” the officer wrote in an arrest report.

When will they learn?  Our search revealed at least a half-dozen other recent reports of driving while under a completely different influence.  When will they learn is probably never.  What will they learn?  Keep a light sweater handy and don’t hide behind the cactus!

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Public Displays of Affection

Michael Leave a comment

These were spotted on TV, newspapers, magazines, or the Internet over the past week. We would just like to stop and take a moment to give a round of applause to those folks we’ve listed below for facing all that life has to hand out and managing it with grace and dignity. If She of We could she would give each of them the small box that when opened lets you hear an audience clapping.  

  • A young boy hugging his neighbor because he was the first familiar face he saw after a tornado ripped through his neighborhood. 
  • Re-enactors travelling across the country on The National Road in horse drawn covered wagons.
  •  A family smiling around a storm shelter entrance. 
  • An honor guard member handing the folded flag to a new widow. 
  • A couple meeting on a street corner at the end of the work day greeting each other with a kiss. 
  • A woman comforting her brother’s children while sitting in front of their burning home.
  • An Air Force General pinning a Bronze Star on an airman next to his Purple Heart.
  • Volunteers caring for lost pets at an emergency animal shelter in Oklahoma.

They are true public displays of affection.  We used to call it doing the right thing. Whatever you call it, we like it. And we like these who find themselves not just doing the right thing, but making everyone around them feel better than if they weren’t there, no matter if the circumstance is happy or sad.

You can add to the list.  Take a moment and look around.  If you see someone doing the right thing, clap those hands and try doing something completely unselfish for somebody.  Somebody else might be clapping for you.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

Michael Leave a comment

We were driving down a country-ish road when jogging on the shoulder toward us was this woman, her legs striding, arms pumping, head bobbing, and face frowning.  It was not a look of determination, nor was it one of concentration.  It was one of displeasure.  It was one that said “I am two miles from home in any direction and I want to be there, not here.”  What we knew, from knowing others who jog along the shoulder of country-ish roads, is that when she gets home there will be a husband, a parent, a partner, a child, or maybe a cat or dog who will very innocently ask , “How as your run?”  And then the lies will begin!

It was fine. I had a great run.  It was the perfect morning to get an extra mile in.  And the check’s in the mail, too.  Truth be told, there are some instances that we know have never had the truth be told of them.   Early morning joggers are amateurs when it comes to the really smooth lies.

Whether it’s taking a little blood out for a blood test, a lot of it out at a blood drive, or getting an annual flu shot, “You’ll just feel a little pinch,” is not exactly truthful for any of them.  We are both blood donors.  We’ve both had flu shots.  And we’re ready to tell anybody who comes that close to us with those sharp objects that we know we’re going to feel more than a little pinch.  Save the lies, tell it like it is.  This is going to hurt but just for a little while and once that goes away you’ll feel much better for it.

Every day millions of people ask another millions of people how they are.   We’re not sure why because we know that an answer is neither required nor expected.  If so, no one would ask “Hey, how are you?” of someone who is getting on the elevator one just got off.  Yet it happens.  The appropriate answer to that question at that time should be “buy high, sell low” just to see if anyone is actually listening.  Quite often, then and at the millions of other times when the inquirer can actually hear the answer, the answer is “Oh just fine, thank you.”  You know you aren’t.  No one is ever just fine.  Ever. 

Whether we’re asking or are being ask, almost always “Do you want help with that?” is followed by “Whew!” when the answer comes back or goes out as no thanks.  Nobody ever really wants to help, at least not with physical assistance.   Maybe if the help needed is of the mental type we’d all be helpers and then when someone asks why we’re just sitting there we can answer with another collective lie, “Yes so, I am working.” 

Just a little bit longer.  No, that’s not a commentary on this post, although here it is truthful.  Most other times that one hears those words it is going to be longer but not by a little bit.  We hear this when waiting for a table at a restaurant, for a meeting with the boss, for a refund check coming in the mail, for the doctor to take his or her turn with us, or for an opponent to finish a Scrabble move.  The funny thing is that everybody on the delivery end of “a little bit longer” knows exactly how much longer it will be.  Why not tell us.  We suppose either they aren’t confident that we find their services worth waiting for or that their services aren’t worth waiting for.

It used to be a little more sensible when business was conducted by letters, phones, and secretaries.  Now to tell someone you never got the message, meeting reminder, or new project deadline in the time of email and shared electronic calendars is a bit far-fetched.  Yet not so far-fetched that by personal experience we can say that just about every time a meeting is missed, a deadline goes by, or a message is ignored, the guilty party still tries to claim ignorance.  “Must be something wrong with the server,” is the new “the check is in the mail”

Can you think of any others?  We’d love to hear them!  Ummm, errrr, let’s do lunch.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?