Category Society

The Groundhog and the Chicken

Michael Leave a comment

One thing that makes this country great is our sense of tradition. Granted we’re homing in on only 240 years of tradition and not the thousands you see in Europe or the tens of thousands in the very cradle of civilization but I’m still quite happy with our couple hundred years. And now it’s under attack – and it’s under attack by some of our very own people, the marshmallow peeps people who are trying to take over the groundhog’s God-given right to tell us when spring will begin.

Yes, the folks at Just Born Candy, makers of those cloyingly sweet, overly sticky, artificially colored candy barnyard animal facsimiles are trying to dethrone Punxsutawney Phil as Pennsylvania’s, as America’s, as the world’s number one prognosticator of the commencement of Spring. For 230 of America’s 239 springs, Phil has been the constant by which people have determined whether it’s safe to venture out or remain sheltered for six more weeks.

So universal is Phil’s attraction that official chapters of the Groundhog Club are found across the globe. So loved is Phil that over 30,000 people visit the small town of Punxsutawney situated in western Pennsylvania not far from the Allegheny National Forest to catch a glimpse of Phil emerging from his tree stump on Gobbler’s Knob.

Now the eastern Pennsylvania candy-makers claim their mascot is the true sign of the coming of Spring coinciding with the arrival of their marshmallow Peeps in stores. What a bunch of greedy hogwash if you’ll excuse my frankness. Those silly, sickly sweet confections are in the stores year round. There are peeps masquerading as marshmallow ghosts, Christmas trees, hearts, cherries, bunnies, and snowmen. Phil knows when his job is done he gets to take a well-deserved rest and chill out for the rest of the year content in the knowledge that he doesn’t have to try to invade our lives lest we forget his contribution to society.

Peeps versus Phil. How ridiculous! We’re supposed to substitute a fake chicken for a real groundhog? Ludicrous. Who ever heard of a ground chicken? Hmmm, ground chicken. Now that might be worth pursuing!

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Clearly you can tell I’m more than a bit passionate about Punxsutawney Phil. So much so that the only picture in the entire blog is of him, sort of. That little guy has made it into close to a dozen RRSB posts making him a Real Reality frequent flyer. See his debut – and his “picture” – here (Six Weeks, Feb. 2, 2012).

Cockle Warming Time!

Michael Leave a comment

There’s so much that today’s post could talk about – Winter Storm Jonas coverage is wrapping up, the Super Bowl stage is set, the NHL All Star Game is just a week away, we are approaching the RRSB’s 400th post, how to celebrate National Opposite Day –  but what we will talk about is something really important. Today is National Irish Coffee Day. (Those of you in other nations, feel free to consider yourselves one of us today.)

So, everybody, put down that morning coffee you have going and let’s re-start the day and do it up right. Brew up some good strong coffee and pour about six ounces into a warmed mug, add an ounce and half of Irish Whiskey and teaspoon of brown sugar, then float about an ounce of heavy cream on top. You have now made the classic Irish Coffee.

The origin of this cockle warmer is not quite so distinct as the main ingredient. Most barkeeps attribute it to Joseph Sheridan, an Irish restauranteur who “whipped up” a collar of whipped cream to top a hot coffee/whiskey combination for weary travelers arriving on a wet, cold, dreary night at his Limerick establishment. The story goes that someone asked if they were drinking Brazilian coffee to which Sheridan replied, “No, it’s Irish coffee.”

Now all that happened in 1942 but recipes for the drink have been traced to Irish High King Brian Boru who ruled from 997 to 1014.Since most people agree that coffee was not “discovered” until the 11th century and didn’t reach Europe until the 15th or 16th century, Brian might have had less to do with Irish coffee than some give him credit for.

In addition to Irish whiskey, people have been adding all sorts of adult beverages to coffee including Scotch whisky, rum, vodka, gin, tequila, and various liqueurs. There are variations of Martinis, Cosmopolitans, and Margaritas starring espresso and other bold coffee blends. Then there’s my personal favorite – Kentucky Coffee made with dark roast coffee, bourbon, and a splash of honey.

However you take your coffee, take it today with a healthy dose of whatever you have measured in “proof” and raise your mug to Misters Sheridan and Folger. Long may they weave!

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

The names change…

Michael Leave a comment

You all know that I am not fond of Black Friday. I don’t mind the crowds or the sales or the bustling hustle. I really don’t even care that stores open on Thanksgiving. For many families that is their together time. What I don’t like is that the marketers have turned the whole thing into a, a, a thing!

There is no Black Friday. It’s Black November. Those sales started 3 weeks ago. And they aren’t all that great anyway. And now we get to start Cyber Monday, which many stores are calling Cyber Week including a couple of stores that don’t have any on-line presence. Which is fine because all of the ones that do, including those who are exclusively on-line had Black Friday for all of last week and/or this month.

Last Saturday among the many e-mails that graced my in-box were more than one proclaiming that they were entering the “last days” of their Black Friday sales so be sure to order now, soon, and often because at 11:59 on Sunday night those deals will disappear. Then on Sunday I got the “sneak preview” e-mails of the Cyber Monday deals starting at 6pm that very Sunday and available only for the next five days. From the same retailers. For the same products. The same ad with a different header. I should have ordered something between 6pm and midnight to see if I would have gotten a double discount.

See, that’s why I don’t like Black Friday. It’s insulting. But I did get a good deal on some silk poinsettias.

Happy Thanksgetting.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

None of the Above. Really.

Michael Leave a comment

Last week I had the opportunity to do something I hadn’t done in years – and years and years and years. I filled out a job application.  I’ve been quite out of sorts lately and I figured out that I was missing some structure. So either I had to start taking retirement more seriously and do some determined vacationing, hobbying, recreationing, and/or memoir writing, or I need to find a part time job and get back into the swing of things. There was a part-time faculty appointment and my alma mater that I was absolutely the best qualified for (just in case someone from the selection committee is reading this), so I said to myself, “Self, give a whirl.” And whirled I did.

I hate to admit it but the last time I seriously needed to fill out a job application it was still on paper. Actually I don’t think I actually filled out an application for the last job I had until after I had the job. That’s a post for a different time. And boy was that a different time. But I digress.

There was a time a while ago when I thought about a career move and quickly gave up on that idea when I saw that the on-line application process was, for me, a multi-day affair. I figured by now that even HR had to have caught up with technology. And they had. Applying was a simple process. Upload a resume, upload a cover letter, upload a reference list, and that was it. Done. All that remained was the EEOC survey. The what?

If an employer agrees to accept federal money for any reason – payment for services, research, tuition reimbursement, anything – the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission wants to make certain that the employer is providing equal opportunities to all applicants. Thus, all those questions that one is not allowed to ask in an interview are required answers on the survey.  They are, sex, race, disability, and veteran status. So far no questions about religion or pet preference.

Now, this post is not a commentary on the survey itself. The survey answers are kept separate from an applicant’s application and are used just for tracking purposes. As a former hiring manager I can tell you that is the case. I never knew how anybody who applied for my department answered any of those questions. When I saw them last week it was the first time I was seeing them. And one really caught my eye.

As I said, these are to determine that people are getting opportunities to apply for any jobs they are qualified for. No prejudging. Everyone gets a fair shake. So I was surprised when I saw the first question and its answer choices:

Sex:
[] Male
[] Female
[] Other
[] Prefer not to answer

Really?

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

See the Movie, Read the Book

Michael Leave a comment

I do a lot of reading. I always did. Sometimes I go through a book in a day. Sometimes I’ll wait for the movie. Most times I’ll do both.

Sometime over the past week among the books I read was an oldie but goodie, Hopscotch by Brian Garfield. You might remember this international thriller from the 70s. Or you might remember the movie with Walter Matthau and Glenda Jackson from the 80s.  If you saw one or read the other without reading the one or seeing the other then you really don’t know both stories. Even though they have the same characters, the same general plot, and the book and the screenplay were both written by the same man, they aren’t the same story. Not that one was better than the other, just different.

A more recent example is Silver Linings Playbook, a 2008 New York Times best seller and debut novel from Matthew Quick, and an Academy Award winning movie from 2012 (Best Actress, Jennifer Lawrence). Again, if you just read the book you missed a great movie and if you just saw the movie you missed a terrific story. Both really good. And both really different.

Sometimes the differences between book and movie are very small, except they stop partway through. Sort of like the movie is an abridged version of the book. I first noticed it when Three Days of the Condor starring Robert Redford was released in 1975. A nifty spy thriller based on James Grady’s book, Six Days of the Condor. What happened to the other three days?

Redford pops up again in my list of movies that “follow the book closely enough but not necessarily enough of the book” when he starred in this year’s “Walk in the Woods” movie adaptation of Bill Bryson’s 1998 book of the same name. Just like the condor’s missing three days, this movie is missing half of his trek along the Appalachian Trail. What’s there is fairly close to the book (even though the characters on the screen seem to have aged the 17 years between book and movie release), it’s just that the whole book isn’t represented on the screen.

People or studios buy rights and get to do what they will with them. Most often they end up with a pretty good visual representation of the book or play or whatever it is that they bought. There are times when there’s nothing in common but fortunately those aren’t all that common. And every now and then they end up with a really great story that seems familiar but might be more of a sequel to the native version than an adaptation. And that’s not so bad. That way you can still read the book, or see the movie, and not always know how it ends.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

It’s Increditable

Michael Leave a comment

Recently I came into some money and did what I’ve wanted to do for years – pay off everything. You see, even though I’ve posted here any number of semi-rants about credit card companies and how we’ve come to pretty much ignore common sense and are willing to charge just about everything including a trip to McDonald’s, for years I had been guilty of just such stupidity. Over the past 5 or 6 years I hadn’t used a credit card but I was still paying for my imprudent spending for 30 years before then. Fortunately I have lived long enough to pay off all of those card and other loan balances.

Let me tell you now though, if you ever plan to do the same, prepare yourself for some pretty annoying communications between you and your soon to be former creditors. I knew enough to know that interest charged is charged daily. That means the balance you see on your statement isn’t your balance any more by the time you get your statement. I called every credit card company or bank (and there were a lot of them) to request payoff amounts. Out of ten lenders, only 3 representatives knew what I was asking. To the others, the thought of paying off everything owed was as foreign as using antennae to get TV reception.  They would parrot the auto-attendant’s parroting of the “last statement balance” and didn’t know that wasn’t the total balance. Fortunately I was able to get the information I needed from a call center supervisor. Perhaps that was unfortunate.

Even with a current balance in hand, a human on the phone, and an ability to pay the stated amount immediately, four of the accounts sent statements the following amount with new interest accrued and due. After making several more calls I was able to ascertain that the reason there were still balances was because although the amount paid equaled the amount due on the day of the call, the amount paid was not credited for 3 to 5 business days resulting in 3 to 5 days of accrued interest. So once again I had to request new payoff amounts and submit new payments. I was not amused.

One account I had actually overpaid. When given a figure it was for interest charged through the end of the billing cycle so when my payment was credited in 3 to 5 business days it was still a few days before the cycle ended and I ended up with a credit for that card. Since I was simultaneously closing accounts as I was paying them off, I had no account for the credit to be credited against. Yet, it was still listed as a credit on a following statement with no mention of how I was going to get my money back. Not wanting to, I called anyway. I was told certainly they could send me a refund check. I don’t know why but I had to ask, why they didn’t just send a check instead of a statement showing a credit for an account that didn’t exist. Their answer was that it was policy to report a balance on an inactive account for three billing cycles before issuing a refund. I thanked them for their information and informed them that if I ever decided to re-open a card with them I would consider the three month rule before I decide to issue them a check. They weren’t amused.

Who were these people anyway? The three cards’ telephone reps who hadn’t a clue about how to determine a payoff amount were all serviced by Citicards, the fourth was issued by RBS Citizens Financial.  The company who wanted to hang on to my money for three months unless I asked for it earlier was Discover. Capital One, USAA, and HSBC were the only creditors who actually were helpful in paying off their accounts.

Certainly it was my fault for getting into more credit than I had a right to. When I finally had the means to get out of debt instead of getting out of Dodge I did so. Apparently those I owed would have preferred I continued to owe them. That’s ok. It took a few months and lots of phone calls but now instead of a bunch of cards I carry around a bunch of money. Boy does that confuse the people at McDonald’s.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Encore, Again

Michael Leave a comment

The other day I watched Neil Simon’s Odd Couple II. Now that was odd. I never realized there was an Odd Couple II and I thought for sure I had seen everything that Neil Simon had written. Yet back in 1998 I missed that one. It was cute but had I missed it I probably wouldn’t have missed it.

Sequels are odd things in general. They can be wildly successful, consider the Hungry Games movies. They can be wildly unsuccessful ala the Hangover trilogy. Or they can be just plain unknown.

These are real movies with most if not all of the original cast (not direct to DVD or made for TV sequels banking on a movie name with actors names not household words like Road House 2 or Look What Happened to Rosemary’s Baby).

French Connection 2. The French Connection has what had been called the greatest car chase in movie history. An Oscar Winner in 1972 for best movie, best director, best adapted screenplay, and best actor (Gene Hackman), and nominated for best supporting actor (Roy Scheider). Hackman returned in the sequel four years later. Forty years later you can still find the French Connection on TV and movie sites but French Connection II has long been forgotten if it had ever been remembered at all.

Shock Treatment: This is a sort of sequel to the cult creating Rocky Horror Picture Show. Many of the original actors (though not Tim Curry) returned for this release six years after the Rocky Horror Picture Show but didn’t play the same characters as in the original movie.  Critically some called Shock Treatment a better film than the Rocky Horror Picture Show but where the latter has grossed $140 million in North American sales, the former hasn’t earned a quarter of that. But it is still out there and hit the London theater district with a live version in the spring of this year.

Psycho II (and III and even IV). Alfred Hitchcock’s classic thriller was reborn as Anthony Perkins reprised his role three times as Norman Bates. The only thing scary in the returns to the Bates Motel are that they were made at all. (Actually Pyscho IV isn’t a return. It is a prequel and was released as a made for TV movie.)

Then there are those sequels that some might not even know are sequels.

The Color of Money. With great performances by Paul Newman and Tom Cruise as mentor and student pool players, Newman’s Edie Felson character first hit the screen 25 years earlier when he starred as the young gun with Jackie Gleason as the established pool player and George C. Scott the mover and shaker in The Hustler.

They Call Me Mister Tibbs. Sidney Poitier repeated his role of Virgil Tibbs from In the Heat of the Night although he moved from Philadelphia to San Francisco to do it. The original movie was set in Sparta Mississippi where Philadelphian Poitier changes trains after visiting his mother. In the John Ball novel upon which the series is based, Virgil Tibbs is a police officer from Pasadena who is waiting for a train in Wells, South Carolina. In the sequel, Mr. Tibbs got to solve the crime in San Francisco where he now lives. A third movie, The Organization, also starring Sidney Poitier as Virgil Tibbs completed the movie franchise. The book series spanned seven novels and four short stories featuring Tibbs. In the Heat of the Night is the only title and plot shared by movie and book offerings.

Imitation is the highest form of flattery, so in 1820 said Charles Caleb Colton. Maybe that’s why there are so many sequels. Of course, that quote itself might be a sequel to other similarly worded sentiments from a couple hundred years earlier.  Sometimes sequels end up being an odd couple of movies, sometimes just plain odd, sometimes anything but odd. One thing is for sure, sequels will always be another thing.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

In The Dark

Michael Leave a comment

I was on the road around 7:30 in the evening the other day and I noticed something. It was almost dark. It hadn’t yet turned into Fall and it was already dark before prime time television began. You do realize what that means. Don’t you? Yes, another time change is coming.

When I saw that the cars around me had their headlights on and it was only 7:30, I flashed on what it would be like only six short weeks from now. We go through this every fall. On the last Saturday of October we will turn our clocks back an hour, gaining an hour of sleep that night but losing many, many hours of sanity as the trade-off. That’s because you can’t be sane when it gets dark before the six o’clock news comes on. Or in the deepest throes of winter, before the five o’clock news comes on! The only good thing about this year will be that I won’t be leaving for work in the morning and coming home in the evening, both ways in darkness. Little consolation that will be only because I won’t be working. Instead I’ll get to sit at home and see how short the day really is as those few daylight hours march on. And march on they will, quickly, and too few of them, until March when we get to reset our clocks to DST (Daylight Saving Time or as I prefer Daylight Sanity Time).

This blog is loaded with posts on time changes. Why we change our clocks, why we change them back, who doesn’t go through this ritual, and other thoughtful answers for inquisitive minds. There are so many I can’t list them here. If you’re interested, type in Daylight Saving Time into the search box on the home page and pick a couple to review. I’ll give you a synopsis here. I don’t like it. I don’t like reverting to Standard Time every fall.

After the last Saturday of October there’ll be nothing fun left to do but wait for Daylight Saving Time to return. Ok, there will be Christmas. And New Years. And Thanksgiving. And Groundhog Day. Mustn’t forget Groundhog Day. But otherwise, the fun will be done until spring springs ahead into Daylight Saving Time and we recapture the evening sun.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Pride Goeth Before Just About Everything – And With Good Reason

Michael 1 Comment

It was a while ago that I was on my way to an appointment and was there early. Very early. Most of the time I hit my appointments just about on time. This particular morning I was way off. I left too early, drove too fast, got no red lights, did who knows what but for some reason I was early with a capital ‘E.’ No problem. I’ll have breakfast.

I slipped into a hole in the wall diner and had a remarkably tasty omelet with chorizo, onions, jalapenos, tomatoes, salsa, and sour cream. This was after the waitress ran through the morning’s specials including a pancake special. I was told their pancakes are always special, so special that people come from all over for their pancakes. When I was finished and the waitress was clearing my place I mentioned that the omelet was very good, just as good as I’m sure the pancakes would have been. It was the salsa. The salsa was very good, very fresh, not too hot but authoritative enough to hold one’s attention. Oh yes, she agreed that it was good salsa. She went on to tell me that they sell it by the quart jar and, in fact, people come from all over for their salsa. As I was at the register paying my bill I noticed again that one of the specials was two eggs any style served over corned beef hash. I like corned beef hash and had I thought more of it when I ordered I would have taken advantage of that special. And I must have said that out loud because the lady running the cash register said that they make their own hash and I would have liked it. Everybody likes it. In fact, people come from all over for their hash.

Those were some people who were very sure of the products they were persuading the public to purchase. I‘m certain that had I brought it up I would have been assured that people come from all over for their oatmeal. Someday I’ll go back there for lunch and see what the world beats a path there for after 11. I’m sure that the lunch crowd comes from all over also.

That crowd might even be larger than usual. You see, when I got to my appointment two employees on the other side of the reception window were discussing lunch. I happened to mention the diner I had just come from and mentioned that they had a pretty good breakfast there and I bet lunch would be good also. They commented that they had indeed never been there; it looked too much like a hole in the wall for them to take a chance. Now that they heard good stuff about it, that might be where they end up when the lunch bell rings.

Contrast that with another day when I was sitting at a pizza parlor waiting for a calzone for my lunch of the day. A pleasant enough place with good enough food, good enough that when I feel the need for something that I would not ordinarily make for myself, like a calzone, I’ll let them make it for me. While I was waiting another diner walked in and asked if there were any lunch specials. The girl at the “Order Here!” corner of the counter looked up and said, “The specials are written on the window.”

You know, I bet I can find another pizza place that can make a good calzone.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Got Grammar

Michael Leave a comment

I was out shopping at a little neighborhood farm store; I picked up some $20.05 worth of meats, cheese, olives, and fish. I had no change so I gave the young lady manning (womanning?) the cash register a twenty dollar bill and a one dollar bill. She took them then stood there looking at me. I looked back at her and in time she said, “My bad. I was expecting a twenty and a five.” I don’t know why she was expecting anything in particular, as long as it added up to at least twenty dollars and five cents. But, I’ve reported on similar issues with money and people trying to figure out amounts due and to be returned without the aid of a computerized cash register. Or fingers and toes. (See “If You Give a Teen a Penny,” April 7, 2014.) But today’s post isn’t about calculating change or expecting bills. It’s a grammar rant.

It had been a while since I heard anybody other than a daytime TV talk show host utter “my bad.” I was hoping that was because it had finally worn its welcome and was relegated to the what-does-that-mean-anyway pile of bizarre phrases. It’s so bad it’s beyond bad. It should have been expected. Ever since “Got Milk” graced America’s roadside billboards, television screens, and magazine back covers we’ve pretty much given up on grammar.

I’m not trying to be the grammar police and I actually thought Got Milk was a pretty nifty advertising slogan. It was just odd enough to be memorable without being irritating. The same can’t be said for some of its spawn. It seemed shortly after the first milk mustachioed model hit the commercials we were “Gotting” everything from “Got Cookies” to “Got Religion.”

I don’t suppose your old fifth grade English teacher will come out of retirement to correct our slips down the ungrammatical slope. Many things we were taught not to do like begin a sentence with a conjunction or end it with a participle aren’t real rules anyway. If you don’t believe me, take a real good look at your Chicago Manual of Style. Ain’t nothing in there about that. And more than likely most of what actually gets published is far from perfect composition, but it is right around the corner of your average vernacular.

Still, some things really need to stop being uttered in public. “My bad” tops that list. In fact, it tops the list of things that shouldn’t be uttered in private. And definitely never uttered in stores by cashiers trying to calculate change without the aid of a calculator.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?