Category Life’s Questions

What I Did Last Week

Michael 10 Comments

What a week. I’ve been so busy I barely noticed the tangerine tyrant threatening to drop 82nd airborne troops into Portland Oregon, the Notsoproudboys, aka immigration enforcement not-officers-and-gentlemen rappelling out of attack helicopters to storm an apartment building in America’s heartland, or Speaker Whatshisname sending the RINOs home then complaining that the Democrats don’t want to meet. All that good stuff all in one week.  Barely seems like it was just a week ago that I was concerned if there was intelligent life on this side of the planet.

Instead, I finally got around to doing some Christmas shopping. I know. I’m just so late this year. Usually by the back-to-school sale days I’m down to just needing stocking stuffers. Where did I go wrong?

Now I have rush through the remains of the list so I can get back on track and start shopping for next year’s May and June anniversaries and birthdays. Do you know how hard it’s going to be to find something June-worthy in December? That clearly should have been August activity.

The good news is, I have Halloween candy on this week’s shopping list.

Okay, maybe that was just a bit hyperbolic, but I really am behind the holiday shopping curve, and I know why. I’m not a “let’s go out with a big holiday shopping list on Black Friday and see how much we get in one day” shopper. I tend to pick things up all through the year as I see them and see that those things would be perfect for someone. I’ll squirrel them away, then during the week before Christmas I’ll scour the house trying to remember I hid it all. Which is still better than just starting to shop then like half of all the other men in America. Mind you now, I’ll likely still go out and shop during that week, but I’ll be calmer than the rest of the shopping crowd because I won’t have to go out and buy.

So that’s why I missed so much of last week’s news. I was out shopping. And I didn’t shop for any televisions or radios so, there’s that too.

Another thing I did was get out the ‘thank you for joining and here are some directions’ letters to the ARC team for Bad Impressions. (Those of you who did send emails expressing interest, if you didn’t get an email from me over the weekend check your spam folders. Anyone still interested in joining, there are a couple spaces left. Get back to me this week. Details and a request form are on the new website, www.michaelrossmedia.com, something else I did last week.)

Okay all, have a good week. I have a few more people to serendipitously come across things for.

TGIAI

Michael 13 Comments

The Associated Press published an article yesterday, “Teens say they are turning to AI for friendship.” Teena quoted in the article indicated that the use of AI for help with schoolwork is nearly universal, nearly 70% of them at some point, and half of them regularly have used an AI Companion as a “digital friend.” A survey cited in the article determined “31% of teens said their conversations with AI companions were “as satisfying or more satisfying” than talking with real friends.”

As the story was picked up by local papers and news outlets, comments on it picked up, many of the “that’s scary” type. I think what’s scary is how this demonstrates how bad teens are to other teens, especially as other surveys have noted how bullying is skyrocketing, not like we’re seeing it among adults more than ever and coming from the Oval Office on a daily basis.

The survey studied the AI habits of 1,000 teens over two months. The researchers were taken back by their findings, concerned that teens will not be able to assimilate into society without having peer to peer interaction. They didn’t see then when one 18 year old said, ““AI is always available. It never gets bored with you. It’s never judgmental. When you’re talking to AI, you are always right. You’re always interesting. You are always emotionally justified,” he was describing a companion to replace the real ones who were always judgmental and emotionally damaging.

A person, even a teen, wants to feel valued. In the social media blurb to yesterday’s Uplift we began, “Nobody likes to be taken advantage of.” That’s the bully’s prime motivator – to take advantage of others’ insecurities and take without concern. Although our discussion revolved around misappropriated gratitude, we can say from personal experiences that when others perceive us as valued contributors, our self-esteem grows. As self-esteem grows, the need for validation from others decreases as we can provide our own validation.

This is what teens need. People to see them and thank them for being them. Not to have on a friend they created from a companion bot.

That Gratitude Attitude suggests some basic ways to recognize and show appreciation to people for being themselves. We even dove into the family setting. Take a look, practice daily gratitude, and save a teen from having to build a friend. 

A flood of information

Michael 5 Comments

Quick, name a devastating flood that happened in the US recently. Did you say Texas? Did you know there have been seven fatal floods and flash flood in the US since the Guadalupe River valley was flooded on July 4. There were another three in the two weeks preceding the Fourth of July Texas floods.

Indeed, the Texas July 4 flood was the most devastating, but to those who lost loved ones in Maryland, West Virginia, or New Jersey, devastation is not a relative term. Why do we not think of these or those in. North Carolina, New York, or New Mexico.

I though about all these places because of local flooding that has been happening here in my neck of the woods over the past few weeks. We’re sort of used to them. We see flash flooding routinely, and though not as often, river flooding occurs regularly also. We haven’t had a deadly flood for a few years. Those in my neighboring states of West Virginia, New Jersey, New York, and Maryland can no longer say that.

I have my thoughts about the dearth of information surrounding these floods when there should have been a flood of information. Let’s stick with that. Considering these areas will not have emergency funds funneled to them by our benevolent leader, we bear the responsibility to care for our neighbors.

In yesterday’s Uplift we talked about what it means to be a neighbor, to share your humanity, to let your goodwill flow, it was British theologian Richard Whatley who spoke of neighborliness as “an ongoing flow of goodwill.”  He identified five steps to being a good neighbor: be generous, be ethical, be fair and honest, be kind constantly, and be peaceful.

Is a neighbor just the guy next door? Your neighbor is your fellow man who deserves your neighborliness. How do we that? We have suggestions in Will you be my neighbor?

Are you talking to me?

Michael 2 Comments

There are times when the things I think I think are stranger than the things I think and that I know. Like the other day, I was reading for enjoyment, yes a novel concept and every now then I do get the chance to take on such an inviting task. As is typical for my leisure activities, murder played a major role. Another major role was played by a major. A retired major I would assume because he was described as a “gentleman with a private income” and became a major (sorry) suspect. Now here’s what I think I think about that. At least I think I thought this.

Stories, whether played on pages, screen, or stage, set anytime through the early twentieth century and/or in England through modern days, are filled with captains, majors, colonels, and the occasional admiral or general (or brigadier (across the pond)). I think it would cool to actually see that happen in practice and/or real life. (And for all I know, it does – across the pond.)

Except for the odd “Mr. Michael” from a barely English speaking customer service phone representative, I never am never offered any honorific, haven’t hear a title associated with my name since I left hospital practice. But if people were to start introducing, and speaking of and to me as “Captain,” I could get along with that. And I promise I wouldn’t ever give reason to suspect me as the murderer. Everybody knows the butler always did it. (I wonder if I could still fit in my old uniforms. I’m sure the hat would still fit me.)

There is absolutely no way to tie this in with yesterday’s Uplift post other than to say it’s Thursday, it must be time for my shameless weekly plug. So…shamelessly speaking, if you know where you’re going and you know how to get there, trust that you will get there. Knowing where you’re going is more important than how fast you get there. You might even get there at the speed of popcorn. Check out, You’re a Pop Star at ROAMcare.org, this week’s Uplift offering.

Bright lights, little city

Michael 9 Comments

About a week ago I was on my one home an evening. It wasn’t very late but it was very dark. The weather was cold but clear, remarkably clear, and dark, remarkably dark. I was north of home in my little suburban hamlet heading south on a classic dark and windy country road.

It was dark enough I needed high beam lights to see what lurked ahead. It was clear enough I could easily see oncoming traffic as we both neared the many twists and curves in the road. And all concerned politely reduced their lights it low beam lights before making the bend and blinding the oncoming driver. You gotta love people who know driving involves more than “put it in gear and go.”

As I got closer to town, the road straightened and lights mounted high above nicely illuminated the roads, eliminating the need for the super bright high beams. Another mile or so brought some roadside businesses and their lights added to the general brightness. 

It was then I saw the blur of white some distance ahead, heading north on the now almost ruler straight road through a little town-let. The blur grew and grew in size and brightness until it became clear that it was ye olde basic pick ‘em up truck with mutilple headlights, fog lights, and even lights across the bully bar over the top of the cab blazing while barreling merrily along, presumably by a backward hat wearing, plaid shirted, scraggly bearded truckster.

There ought to be a law addressing night time driving particularly discussing lights and illumination. Oh wait, there is, actually are. There ought to be people enforcing them.

It’s almost become SOP, ignore the laws that are inconvenient, or the regulation. Throw out the “way it’s always been done,” “doesn’t hurt anyone,” “anyone with common sense would know that.” Do what is right. 

Have you ever wondered why I’m so hard on backward hat wearing, plaid shirted trucksters? Little Rosemary is not the first little sports car I’ve owned. I had once had a 1979 Mazda RX7, the second year it was offered. It was about the same size as the later to come Miata but rounder. The year was 1985 and it was stopped at a red light where a large, jacked up pickup truck driven by a (you guessed it) backward hat wearing, plaid shirted, scraggly bearded, beer bellied amateur truckster did not stop at a red light and literally ran up and over the back of the low-slung car. Oh yes, there are laws.

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We all want to live long lives, maybe even live long lives in love. If you’d like to see what we had to say about long lasting love, pop on over and give But do you love me  a quick read. While you’re there, consider joining the ROAMcare community and subscribe to have Uplift delivered to your email as soon as it hits the website. In addition to an Uplift release every Wednesday, you will also receive weekly our Monday Moment of Motivation and the email exclusive Flashback Friday repost of one of our most loved publications every Friday. All free and available now at ROAMcare.org.

 

Some things I don’t know that I don’t know why I don’t know them

Michael 4 Comments

You would think if I got to be as old as I got to be, I’d have figured out most of what it is that got me here. Nope. There are still way too many things I don’t know. Some of the are just beyond my grasp and I now take it for granted that I’ll never know how radios work without wires and why yellow and blue make green. But some things shouldn’t be that hard and I still can’t figure them out. For instance:

Why does only one shoelace come undone in the middle of a long walk. Both feet are going the same places and the same paces. Both shoes and both laces are made of the same materials. The temperature and humid at my left foot are pert near identical to those at my right. All things being equal, why are the laces? What makes one slip its knot and not the other?

Why does a cracker spread with peanut butter always fall face down when it slides off the plate to get away from its cracker cousins? In a similar vein, have you ever noticed when you pour a bagful of wrapped candy pieces into a candy jar, they always land with the pretty shining label face down leaving the tacky loose edged wrapper “tails” facing up and daring you to turn each one over?

Why do microwave ovens at work, hospital and garage waiting rooms, and other public venues always smell of popcorn and pizza? I once was involved in the opening of a hospital. Brand new facility.  New paint on new walls, new tile on new floors, new tables and chairs in new break rooms, and a brand new microwave right out of the box. And even that one smelled of popcorn and pizza when it was opened the first time!

Why does my email spam filter redirect newsletters to which I’ve subscribed to the junk email folder but allows ##HEARING_AID_ADVICE ‼️ and **Prostrate Help is Here**  through to the inbox unmolested?

Who is Pete and why do we keep doing things for his sake?

And the biggest puzzle of all: Why do people go to the grocery store wearing camouflage? I’m not talking about military persons completing a household chore in their way home at the end of their duty day. I mean the guy who closet brush with the army is watching The Dirty Dozen on his favorite football team’s bye week Sunday? Hey fella! Those animals in the meat case are already dead. You don’t have to sneak up on them. Hmm. You know what? On second thought, I don’t want to know the answer to this one.

 

What do you do with a day that’s cloudy and gray? Don’t wait for tomorrow; tomorrow is a long way away. Start a new day today! The sun that will come out tomorrow is already up there. All you have to do is let the light in.

This is really a good one. If you haven’t been there, go to ROAMcare.org and check out our last week’s blog “Today is Only a Day Away.”

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I’m older and have better insurance

Michael 3 Comments

I’m sorry I’m so late today. I don’t imagine there were many of you heartbroken over not being able to share your morning coffee and reading time with me but apologize I will anyway. As much as it may seem these meanderings appear to be quite spur of the moment in composition, grammar, and spelling, I give a lot of thought to them. Sometimes minutes! Often they are ready to post the day before you read them which for today would have been yesterday. Now that I think about it, you could say that about any day that happens to be today. But as luck would have it, and lucky for me that luck was there to have it, yesterday I was busy buying a car.

To buy a car is an event for me. Like the cicadas, there is a long time between my appearances at a car dealership. My last purchase was 7 years ago. Things have changed in seven years! Particularly for confirmed used car buyers like me.  I think perhaps it’s the influence of outfits like Carvana, Car Shop, and CarMax, that for what they lack in company name originality they make up with simplified car shopping. One no longer has to travel from car lot to car lot to explore options. If a local dealer leaves their website incomplete of all offerings thinking the few advertised selections will entice the buyer to visit them personally to see their complete inventory as would they had done in the days of print ads in the Sunday newspaper want ads section, that dealer probably closed up or was absorbed into a mega-dealership shortly after Sunday newspapers joined the endangered species list. No, today, if it’s for sale, it’s online. The only walking necessary while narrowing down the choices is back and forth to the kitchen to refill the ice tea glass and the bridge mix dish. 

thumbnail_IMG_0101 (Just out of curiosity, am I the only person left in the world who keeps a dish of bridge mix on the coffee table?) (Am I the only person who still keeps bridge mix?) (Am I breaking etiquette having bridge mix yet never having played bridge?)  So I did my research, narrowed my choices, and what usually would have taken me 3 to 5 weeks of intense searching took me 3 days.

Now believe it or not, car buying is not the focus of this post. (Meanderings, remember?) It did provide the impetus for it. Naturally when you change vehicles you have to update your insurance. I don’t think of insurance very often. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I had to use my insurance other than to prove I have it so I can register the cars and keep them on the road. And so I can put the new to me one on the road, I had to dig up my insurance information for the transfer. The person handling the paperwork for the registration asked me if I was happy with my current provider and I said they seemed to be fine, they take a little of my money every month and give me a little peace of mind in return, mission accomplished. And she got me wondering if they are taking more than just a little of my money.

It’s been years since I ever considered a different insurance provider. Those of you with the longest memories will remember six years ago plus a couple of months, I wrote a post on how to make money by switching insurance companies. What with all the “rates as low as” and the “save as much as” claims back then, if you were shrewd in your choices and diligent in your switching, you stood to save up to $4000. And that was in 2015 money, who knows what it could be today! (No, don’t try it! It’s satire. But then again…)  Well, they are at it again, and bigger this time! Insurance companies are making claims that make those of a certain recently ousted lying President sound reasonable.

The company with the commercial that features the car with the singing hood ornament opens with a shot of the driver’s phone ostensibly opened to their app proclaiming he saved over $700. I don’t know what he is insuring but I don’t pay that much for a full year and I have as full as coverage can be, right down to rental car reimbursement. All I can take away from that commercial is that if you have a car with a singing hood ornament, the replacement cost must be astronomical! Either that or I’m older and can get better rates.

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So that’s my long winded story to get to a rather trivial point. Now aren’t you glad you didn’t hold breakfast for me.

By the way, I’m continuing my experiment on this WordPress/Anchor partnership. They’ve managed to get Don’t Believe Everything You Think on several platforms. With links to the menu page they are:

Spotify BreakerLogo PocketcastsLogo RadioPublicLogo

And of course, at Anchor:

Anchor

Please let me know what you think. So far I’m still mostly just recording the blog posts but eventually there will be more than that. We might even get into a discussion about how we all got into blogging. 

Wyizit?

Michael 8 Comments
Last week I was hit with a bad case of the wyizits. It started with a song that got trapped in my head and couldn’t find it’s way out. And all day long I was asking myself, “Why is it that only the annoying songs get stuck in your head?” Seriously, do you ever walk around all day with the comforting sounds of the opening movement of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata? No, it’s always “Na, Na, Hey, Hey, Kiss Him Goodbye” or if you’re in that classical mood, the 1812 Overture but ending with a hearty “Hi ho Silver!” So I started wondering, quite unconsciously and seemingly unstoppingly, about other wyizits, howcomes, and hoosedsos with an occasional wydont and one random watzitcalled.
 
Why is it that people are now walking down the middle of the street eschewing the safety of the sidewalk for the chaos of life among motorized vehicles? Not only are they walking down the middle of the street they are doing it with eyes firmly focused on their hand held cell phones, doubly taking their chances among the cars being driven by likewise distracted phone gawkers. And to make it more challenging, every so often, the street walker (apologies to the professional ranks) just stops in mid stride (if it can be called a stride – perhaps mid-shuffle) until just as unexpectedly begins moving again.
 
There were many others equally well thought, mentally mulled, and eventually determined to be forever unanswered questions of life as we know it. Here is a sampling.
 
QuestionHow come a vegan or vegetarian thinks nothing of announcing “I haven’t eaten a piece of meat for 35 years” but then spends 20 minutes explaining what I’m missing out on when I just happen to mention that I tried kale years ago and just don’t like it?
 
Who said a quarter pound is the right size for a hamburger?
 
 
Why don’t cat owners take their pets out for a walk?
 
What’s it called when you eat breakfast cereal for a midnight snack?
 
Why is it that birds always know when I wash my car? 
 
Why is it that celebrities thinks the ability to memorize the lines of learned person character give them the knowledge of a real learned person without the need for 12 years of education, training, and research?
 
How come none of the people in pictures of Panama are wearing wide brimmed hats? 
 
Why is it that athletes think I care at all about anything they have to say?”
 
How come the printer always run out of ink two-thirds of the way through the One Important Document I have to print this year?
 
Who said pajama bottoms aren’t acceptable business casual attire?
 
How come nobody else recognizes my infallibility?
 
Why is it that in surveys, applications, and other instruments that bother to ask does a third generation Asian, Latin, or Pacific Islander get a box to check but a first generation Italian is “No?”
 
How come a tian and a tangine aren’t the same? Similarly but different, how came a tian and a ratatouille aren’t the same?
..
Who said all good things must end?
 
Na na na na. Na na na na. Hey hey hey. Goodbye.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

I’m Board

Michael 2 Comments
Long before the pandemic hit my corner of the world I was already spending more time indoors alone than probably healthy, exploring few opportunities that would take me to other places that a grocery store, or a pharmacy, lab, a doctors office or other medical facility, or outside for a solo walk. It’s like I was made for this crisis. But I will say that even I am getting a little bored. I’m sure I wouldn’t be so bored if I could only get a little board! You know I haven’t worked for quite a few years now. I had settled into the routine of, if not a refined retired gentleman at least one not quite as bad as a crotchety old fogie. That’s because I kept my brain young. Yes, I am using past tense. I believe I’m slipping.
 
Even though the forays to the outside world were not often and typically instigated by one if the aforementioned reasons, I almost always made some detour on the way home. Perhaps I would stop at one of the big time mega-marts and wander the aisles getting some exercise and often some deals from the clearance shelves. Maybe I would find a local diner and compare its grillmaster’s patty melt to the last visited diner’s offering. Maybe I’d browse a thrift shop because they are just fun to walk around in and I’ve found a remarkable selection of candy dishes in them over the years. Even if I was feeling adventurous today, and lucky enough to venture out where others may be, those places aren’t open anyway.
 
When extended outdoor time wasn’t desired or desirable like in times of freezing weather (which we seem to have 9 months out of the year) I would amuse myself baking oatmeal cookies or concocting a new marinade for something on the grill. Now though I’m limiting my flour to bead and pizza dough and experimentation time (not to mention counter space) has given way to knead, rise, knead, rise, rise again, bake, slice, eat repeat.
 
Then there is that portion of the day I called down time. That would be the time I’d spend watching an old movie, reading a book, or going through the whole of a newspaper following stories missed during the morning headline review, laughing at the funnies and doing the crossword puzzle. The papers have all stopped publishing hard copies, the library and bookstores are closed and I can read only so much electronic prose, and even I am getting tired of old movies (except for anything with Audrey Hepburn). (Nobody can ever tire of Audrey Hepburn.) (Nobody!)
 
Add to those losses the loss of Sundays with the Daughter. (Yes, yes, of course this should be at the top of the and indeed it is but I had to keep it for last one mentioned to build dramatic effect. If you don’t like it, go wrote your own post – sheesh!) (But don’t leave yet. We’re finally getting to the point of this post.) Sometimes after we cooked for a couple hours then ate for a couple hours we’d pull out a game board and play for a couple hours. But not just any old game. Our game was, and will be again, Backgammon.
 
If you’re a chess player there are apps and live sites and virtual games around very corner. I know first hand that there are indeed crossword puzzle apps that you can play all day long and not be interrupted by a single ad. For free! Word games abound, arcade games are electronic naturals, even “jigsaw” puzzles can be assembled without interruption on line or in apps. But backgammon…
 
Indeed there are some backgammon apps but every one I ever tried forces you into watching ads to earn tokens to build moves with. And there are a few backgammon live sites where you can play against AI or a distant opponent. These are few and the opponents are fewer. (And I think the AI cheats. Nobody can throw that many doubles.) Besides, backgammon needs to be experienced in more than two dimensions and with more than just sight. You have to hear the dice rolling in the cup before bouncing across the felt, you need to feel the smoothness of the tiles as you slide them along the points, you have to see you opponent slump when you bump her or him to the rail or bear off your last stone. The Mesopotamians weren’t thinking computer when they drew the first points and carved the first stones 3,000 years before Jesus walked the Earth. Backgammon is to be experienced, not pixelated.
 
But this isolation won’t last forever. Until then I’ll still take my set out each Sunday. Now I just polish it. Eventually I’ll get to play it. 
 
 
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Under It All

Michael 5 Comments

Please bear with me as I try to control myself today. You know how excited I get over special days and holidays. You also know that at least in America, every day is “Something Day.” We have the big ones like Christmas Day, the socially aware days like Blood Donor Day (June 14), the fun ones like Ice Cream for Breakfast Day (first Saturday in February) and the fun ones with a little more activity to work off those celebratory calories like Dancing Day (April 29). Today may seem a day more aimed to a specific special interest than most but it’s a day most of us can well relate to. It is National Underwear Day. Yes, that is a thing. At least in the US. Citizens of other countries may want to consult … I’m sorry, I have no idea who you would consult to determine when your country celebrates Underwear Day. Chances are it doesn’t. Feel free to join us!

Sometime at the start of the century a some marketing people at the e-tailer Freshpair thought it would be cool to celebrate unmentionables. This was genius on their part since Freshpair e-tails nothing but unmentionables. What better thing for them to mention. So after years, months, weeks, or perhaps hours of planning, National Underwear Day was introduced to the nation on August 5, 2003. Ten years later they discovered they set their sights too low and instead should have introduced World Underwear Day to the World.

It was at the 2013 celebration they invited everyone to meet at Times Square in New York City to break the world record for the largest size gathering of people in underwear. Just underwear. I suppose everywhere people gather they are in their underwear but this gathering was for people just in underwear. Or maybe underwear over outerwear. I don’t know, I didn’t get there for that gathering. Who did get there were 800+ people all in their underthings. If you are wondering, that did not break the record which was set on September 24, 2011 when 2,270 participants gathered at the Utah Undie Run in Salt Lake City, Utah wearing only underwear. That’s a lot of skivvies.

Although people have been wearing layers of clothes since the ancient Romans, underwear that we would recognize came around in the 1800s when both men and women started wearing undergarments that resembled pants. Prior to then, although men had been wearing something resembling shorts since the Middle Ages, women wore simple shifts under their dresses until long pant like underwear was introduced at the beginning of the 19th century. Have you ever wondered why we refer to them as a pair of pants or or why panties is plural? (are plural?) The first examples were actually two separate legs that were pulled on separately then tied together at the waist.

Back to the celebration…what will you do to mark National Underwear Day? Whatever it is, wear that wear with pride and try to keep it clean. We’ve progressed as a society with unmentionables so mentionable that they appear in the Guineas Book of Records. No word on if another attempt will be made to break that record but rest assured, wherever you are, most of those around you would qualify.

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Not My Underwear