Category Life

What to my wondering eyes…

Michael 14 Comments

A couple of days ago I had remarked in a comment that I don’t have a Bucket List. I went on to say that I mostly take things as they come but that there might some places or things I like to see or do if circumstances get me part of the way there. Of course I couldn’t give myself an opening like that without then starting to think of some of the places circumstances happened to lead.

Where I am, just off Chestnut Ridge in the Allegheny range, there are several small commercial caves including the only catacombs type cavern on this side of the country (or at least I’ve been led to believe). It’s a place I’ve been to enough times that although I wouldn’t go out of my way to explore a cave, if I happened to be around one with a particularly effective marketing plan hawking its presence, I might stop by. Thus it was that I happened to be sitting in my then living room with my then wife at my then house for the few years way back then in the middle of Texas looking for something to do the upcoming weekend. Then we realized we were only a half dozen hours’ drive from the cave of all caves, Carlsbad Caverns.

Going to Carlsbad was going to see a natural wonder. And the caves are pretty neat too. Yes, for as wonderful as the Caverns are (and they were) (then and I’m sure still), getting there should be on anybody’s bucket list and it’s not even the most scenic part of New Mexico. And if we hadn’t decided to see how the big western cave measured up to our back yard caverns, it was a scene I’d have missed.

NiagraFallsFrom the first time I saw the picture of the Niagara Falls on the can of spray starch on my mother’s ironing board I knew I had to see it. If I had thought of doing a bucket list when I was 6 years old that didn’t include a new bike, ice skates, and an never ending jar of chocolate covered raisins, “see Niagara Falls” would have been on it. And see them I had. I’m not sure how many times I’ve been to the falls but it’s been “some.” But always from the Canadian side. There is the spectacular Horseshoe Falls and the most spectacular views – including the one on the can. Until the time I ended on the American side. It was a long weekend gifted me and my then She by her offspring. And it was in winter!

Never would I put “see Niagara Falls from the puny American side in freezing temperatures” on any bucket list. Even one so insane as to include chocolate covered raisins. Spectacular is an understatement that even a picture can’t outdo a thousand words’ worth. (If the picture looks familiar it is from my last post in addition to that weekend.)

I can run through pages if places that I’ve been (THE house of seven gables -surprisingly not scary) and things I’ve done (rappel from a helicopter – surprisingly scary) that I never planned but just happened along. I guess I’ve been a victim of circumstances.

 

Water, Water Everywhere

Michael 11 Comments

There is something strange going on with water. More than usual strange. What. You don’t think water is strange? How else do explain that water can make the Grand Canyon but can’t wash peanut butter off a knife in the dishwasher? Strange!  But that’s not the kind of water strange (strange water?) I’m talking about. I have a whole different kind of strange going on.

I am a relatively sound sleeper. Years of rotating shifts, working very early hours, and being on call, while still having to function in a world that pays homage to 9-5 for basic business functions like banking and haircuts meant I had to be able to sleep through just about anything to get any kind of rejuvenating rest. Unless it was a child’s cry or a job’s beeper I slept through it. (Yes, beeper. You know the world didn’t always have cell phones. Back in the 70s if you had a job that required you to be reachable you carried a pager.) (Even if you weren’t an international drug smuggler.) It had to be the right pitch for a sound to get through to me while I was sleeping. Otherwise, I had been told, a bomb could go off next to the bed and I’d never hear it.

Well, let’s fast forward to today. The child is grown and she might still cry at night over some things but since she is about 12 miles away I won’t hear it. Usually. And the pages, whether through a beeper or later a cell phone, stopped about 3 months after I retired. (Some people were slow to get the message.) But my ability to sleep through anything is still functioning. Mostly. I can still tune out just about any external stimuli but I’m almost always awakened once during the night to….ah…..you know.

NiagraFallsEvery night I go to sleep with a bottle of water on my night stand. (You knew we’d get back to water eventually. Congratulations on hanging in there with me this far!)  I never remember drinking any of it but every morning when I get up it’s at least half empty. Not only do I never remember drinking any water, I don’t remember ever being awake during the night. (Um, unless I get up to…ah…, moving on.)

Am I a sleep drinker? Do I have such a water craving that I reach over, grab and uncap the bottle, glug away at a few ounces, replace the cap, and return the bottle to its place on the nightstand all without waking? If I didn’t have water next to me would I be sleep walking to the kitchen then sleep pouring a glass full so I could get my water fix during the night?

How does that happen? I have to figure it out. This is something I’m going to have to think on until I come up with a reasonable explanation about how I can drink and sleep at the same time. Unless it’s not me. I still haven’t solved the mystery of the open doors, drawers, and other front pieces. Perhaps with all their nocturnal activities the house fairies have now developed a need to wet their whistles.

I’d like to think I’m not so oblivious to my surroundings that I’m even missing the times that I am the one interacting with them when I quench a nighttime thirst. On the other hand, just in case it is the house fairies and they’re finally going to get around to actually working around here I want to keep them happy. If that means letting them drink my water, who am I to argue?

I certainly don’t want to make waves.

 

A Date That Will Live

Michael 4 Comments

The day that will live in infamy is becoming forgotten in the parts of the world that knew of it to begin with. The 2400 killed in the attack and the 400,000 Americans who died after the U.S. entered World War II, did not perish so others can live in oblivion.

While we’re good at commemorating things we’re also good at forgetting the impact those things had on the people who lived through them and why they took the positions they did. The service men and women who died on December 7, 1941 didn’t know they were putting their lives in jeopardy when shortly after dawn 414 planes rained terror on the American fleet harbored 50 miles west of Honolulu.

There was no U.S. involvement in the war in August 1939 when many of the sailors and soldiers enlisted who then found themselves on Oahu twenty-eight months later. There were world issues but they weren’t entering the service knowing they would be destined for the front lines. They made a decision to serve knowing the country needed individuals willing to be ready on any day to go from “training” to “executing,” from active duty to actively doing, probably with no warning.

On December 8, Franklin Roosevelt addressed a joint session of Congress opening his remarks with the now famous, “Yesterday, December 7, 1941—a date which will live in infamy—the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.” Those words get quoted at least once a year, every year, a day shy of the anniversary of their first utterance as we remember the event that thrust thousands of so many of enlistees onto the front line.

PearlHarbor

Source: History.com

President Roosevelt’s words that came after the famous ones are often lost to history. “No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory. I believe I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost, but will make very certain that this form of treachery shall never endanger us again.”

That last phrase again was, “…make very certain that this form of treachery shall never endanger us again.” Unfortunately it did. Almost 60 years later almost the same number of people were killed at 3 sites on September 11, 2001 when 4 planes took aim on America.

So if today you find yourself calling today’s date one that will live in infamy, remember to also say to yourself, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it,” and give today a little life.

 

One Tough Cookie

Michael 11 Comments

Today is National Cookie Day! Those of you outside the United States please feel free to celebrate also. I am almost certain that there is nothing so subversive about cookies that would undermine any world government.

I became aware of today’s designation when I read an article in the paper last week reporting that Cinnabon selected today to release its new cookie/cinnamon bun hybrid specifically because it is National Cookie Day. Since they have outlets in about 40 other countries they must not think cookies pose a threat of international destabilization either.

Although the thought of a cinnamon bun wrapped inside a cookie (or the other way even) is intriguing (and mouthwatering to boot), it was the day designation that made me go “hmmm” when I read that piece. I could have sworn we already had a cookie day this year. A check of my official “let’s celebrate anything we can to make a buck” calendar indeed revealed December 4 as Nation Cookie Day! (exclamation added) Is there nothing we won’t celebrate? (Tolerance of opposing political views excluded.)

Already this month, if you haven’t been paying attention, you have missed Red Apple Day (Dec. 1), National Fritters Day (12/2), and Roof Over Your Head Day (yesterday). Don’t be caught tomorrow in black moccasins because Tuesday is Brown Shoe Day. Not surprisingly every day has something associated with it. Thirty six occasions (you read that right) are special interest supported days designed primarily to get you to buy something. Apparently just about anything from the aforementioned Fritters to Bicarbonate of Soda. (That comes on December 30.) (You would have thought that would have been the Friday after Thanksgiving.) (Or January 2.) (But Dec. 30? Who’s pigging out on Christmas ham for 5 days?) (I probably overuse parentheses, don’t I?)

So, if you are reading this in Morocco and want a cookie today, feel free to stop at your local Cinnabon and try out their new Frankencookie. I am almost certain you’ll be able to find one debuting there also. But if you’re concerned about inciting a riot by serving bouillabaisse on the 14th of this month because it is an American “holiday” (even though you have a better claim on it that we do), feel free to serve a tuna salad sandwich. We’ll understand. (Probably.)

CookieGuide

Something in Common

Michael 4 Comments

What do I and Matt Lauer and I have in common? I wouldn’t have been given a second chance either. Finally somebody is treating the elite like the mere mortals they are!

If you were expecting to read a post decrying Matt or Charlie, Kevin or Harvey as scums who don’t deserve to share Earth with the rest of us, that’s not quite what you’ll find here today. They are and they don’t. You don’t need me to add to that conversation. You will find here a grudgingly admiring opinion recognizing the particular powers who finally started treating the Matts and Charlies, the Kevins and Harveys like the Regular Joes that they are. At least the Matts.

Mostly I have to say how I hope this trend will continue. No, not the trend of hate and fear and intimidation. The trend (if one instance can be hoped to be the start of a trend) that even the star quarterback of the team isn’t going to get any different treatment than the water boy when one who was wronged speaks up.

I worked in management positions for 30 years. In addition to nice salaries and bonuses, choice hours, opportunities to write and speak, and a really bigger office than I deserved but wasn’t about to give back, management positions bring with them lots of complaints. Complaints between coworkers that I had to deal with and complaints about me that somebody else made sure I had to deal with, and sometimes complaints about other supervisors that I was asked by my superiors to participate in the deliberations begun to deal with. And among all the complaints, though very few, were complaints of inappropriate behavior.

There were probably very few complaints of inappropriate behavior because for the most part we were a system within an industry within a country of water boys. But when inappropriateness raised its head (and I’ll keep using the questionable term “inappropriate” because at our level, inappropriate behavior was just as bad as blatant assault) there were no look aways, no second chances, no golden parachutes. There was termination. And sometimes criminal charges. If a creep was uncovered he (and sometimes she) was told to move on. Preferably in some other field, like envelope stuffing. See, there aren’t many star quarterbacks in the word. Nor many movie moguls, A-list actors, famous comedians, politicians, TV news anchorpersons. So the investigation, the deliberations, and the punishment were conducted like it was just A Regular Joe, not the face of morning news.

There are creeps among the Regular Joes but for most, Regular Joes are an ok bunch. When a Regular Joe is determined to be irregular, Joe is called out for it. There aren’t many “suspended with pay pending investigation,” “determined to be an isolated incident,” or “it was consensual.” Regular Joes were sent home while we looked into it, which usually took just a day or two or three. Only if there was clear evidence that the allegation was fabricated was Joe asked back. Then a whole different investigation was begun. Sometimes Regular Joe had to sit at home for a length of time. When that happened, Regular Joe better have had a decent savings account because in the Water Boy World, if you aren’t working, you aren’t earning.

Finally, I have to ask for blessings to the women and men who have stepped up and made known the atrocities they were forced to endure. I also have to state my disappointment that there were probably others who didn’t step up not because they felt threatened but because they sought out the attention of these creeps only because they were famous creeps. Some creeps are born to creepdom but many are encouraged along the way. It’s no excuse and it’s not making things easy for the ones opened up.

There aren’t a lot of breaks for Regular Josephines and Joes that stepped forward. There shouldn’t be for a Matt or a Harvey.

The famous already got their break.

Give Till It Doesn’t Hurt

Michael 6 Comments

Tomorrow is Giving Tuesday. I would hope that enough people are mature enough to be able to donate time, talent, and/or money to worthy causes without a special day to remind us to donate to worthy causes. But if you aren’t and you do, then somebody can benefit from your generosity at least once a year. (That’s the generic you, not the you who is reading this.) (Surely.)

It’s odd they would stick such an altruistic day right after the excesses of Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Small Saturday, and Cyber Monday. Then again, maybe it is the perfect day for it. Any change you have left isn’t enough to do you any good so you might as well give it away.

GTHeartIf you are a little strapped either from the holiday excess or just because you’re a little strapped, I have some giving ideas that aren’t economically painful.

Remember those homeless people you wanted to help by volunteering at the shelters with Thanksgiving dinner? They are still hungry and most of those shelters don’t have so many volunteers they can turn away an extra hand on a not so random Tuesday.

For almost every Christian sect in the world, Advent begins this weekend. Churches and chapels are decorating their spaces for Christmas this week. I never met a church with enough hands that they would turn away an extra pair not tied up at the homeless shelter serving lunch. Most of those churches can use help throughout the year also, so while you’re there ask about those needs also.

Are you still fighting leftovers? While you’re rummaging through your recipe files for yet another way to prepare a turkey casserole, pull one out for something you can make to bring to your local fire station, emergency medical service, police or sheriff department. They made a choice to give back to their communities for a lifetime. You can choose to give to them for a day. (Pick something fresh and leave the leftovers to the kids.)

Hospitals, nursing homes, health centers, schools, day cares, libraries, Meals on Wheels, senior agencies, and other assorted services want help over the entire year. Make Giving Tuesday your start date to apply to volunteer on a regular basis to a worthy cause.

And finally, if you still want to give back and really can’t spare more than about an hour, donate blood. You’ll even get a cookie when you’re done. You can give and get all at the same time!

 

 

A Prayer for Thanksgiving

Michael 2 Comments

Today is Thanksgiving in the United States. It was or will be likewise around the world. Everybody is thankful for something and most nations have managed to work in a holiday to legitimize the feeling.

I don’t know how others do it but Americans have been managing to delegitimize feelings quite efficiently lately. We’ll tout our tolerance and claim to accept all and then slur anyone who doesn’t feel the same and blur want for welcome. We support everything and everyone as long as it or they support us in the manner to which we think we should be accustomed. Our gratitude for what we have is matched by our appetite for what we don’t.

Sometime today while I think of all that I am thankful for I’ll manage to miss most of them. So will everyone else. Mostly we’re not bad people as much as clueless ones. Clueless to the differences between our reality and the one that’s really out there. And clueless to how much we rely on what we don’t even know is happening.

So when you give your thanks today that hopefully you won’t restrict to just today I offer you the prayer I started today with.

Heavenly Father, this is the day set aside to give thanks for Your surpassing goodness to human beings. Let me give proper thanks for my blessings  –  those I am aware of as well as those that I habitually take for granted. And let me use them according to Your will.

Happy Thanksgiving today and every day you think to be thankful.

Games People Play

Michael 6 Comments

Christmas is coming. You can tell by the way TV commercials have taken their annual bend towards toys and games that most companies don’t spend money on during the year.

RaiseTheFunHasbro has taken a different approach to marketing some of their classic boxed games on their “Raise the Fun” commercial suggesting you add challenges to some of their games. I personally like the idea of Pillow Twister*. But of course that got me thinking, why stop there?

So, as I have said from time to time, since yes, I do have that kind of time, I came up with a few of my own combinations. (You should probably see ** about this next section.)

Remote Control Life: No, this game is not about telecommuting or “working from home.” It’s played like the regular Game of Life but instead of the little plastic cars you use remote control cars to navigate the game board. For bonus points you can raid the kids’ doll collections to replace the traditional stick figure-ish tokens.

Basketball Monopoly: Play progresses like regular monopoly but you can’t buy or build on any property until you successfully toss the deed through an indoor basketball hoop like you mount on the back of your office door at work. (I had thought of Real Money Monopoly but that would limit players to only movie stars and politicians, the only demographic groups that want you to believe they are just regular folk but are actually the only ones with enough money to pull off the game.)

Macaronic Scrabble: Each player constructs words in a different language.

Drone Strike Battleship: Upon completely identifying an opponent’s vessel it is sunk in an actual drone strike. WARNING: this game should be played only outdoors and with all warnings traditionally reserved for lawn darts.

Bubble Wrap Lawn Darts: Like Pillow Twister for the more adventurous set. See warning above.

Clay Pottionary:  Three dimensional Pictionary with Play-Doh.

Candy Candy Land: Candy Land with real goodies. Should not be played within 4 hours of bedtime.

Strip Mahjong: For the older crowd. Players identify a varicose vein that has been stripped each time tiles are removed from the board. (You weren’t expecting that, were you?)

* Hasbro did not pay me or anyone in my family or any close friends in cash or by other financial considerations. I just really like the idea of Pillow Twister. Being around when it was first released I have a special spot for the game. Maybe that was because I was a young teenager when Johnny Carson and Eva Gabor played it on the Tonight Show and, well….

** None of the owners of any these games paid me nothing neither. See if I ever mention them again!

Twister

Image via Global Toy News

 

Packed Man

Michael 5 Comments

Thanksgiving is a week away and that means that many families are preparing for their week away. All those people that come home for the holidays and the homecomings and the reunions are coming from somewhere. And that involves travelling.

I don’t travel. I only have to go about 12 miles to get home and if anyone wants to return to my nest it’s still only a dozen or so mile markers only from a different direction. No cots or sleeping bags will adorn my living room floor next week, I’ll need not make any hotel reservations to visit anyone and at the end of the day everyone can use their own pillows without having to pack them.

A friend of mine doesn’t share the same travel stress-free holiday as I and it brought up the subject of packing. And not just pillows. Although I have never had to pack to enjoy a weekend with loved ones, I have over the years packed billions and billions of times for work, leisure, both, and sometimes in retrospect, neither. And all our talk brought up memories of packing and even unpacking that I have lodged in my memories vault.

Packing for vacations was always a harder than it should be ordeal for me. I wish I could be one of those who spend a summer backpacking across Europe and actually manage to spend an entire season crossing an entire continent while surviving out of one actual backpack. I needed an entire three suiter sized suitcase (plus my allotted two carry-ons) to spend 7 days on Puerto Rico. Just for me. And I’m a guy!

You’d think that would have been easy. Swimsuit. Flip flops. Done. Pack in a day bag. Still have room for a toothbrush and some sunscreen. I had that covered. It actually went more like this.
-Swimsuit and flip flops into the case. A whole week? Just one pair of trunks? In goes another.
-If I want to walk anywhere but along the beach I don’t like flip flops. Sandals, into the case.
-Can’t have dinner in swimwear. Shorts, tropical print shirt. Times 7.
-Gotta go to a nice dinner at least once, maybe twice. Maybe more. Slacks. Nice shirts.
-One even nicer dinner. Add a blazer. Wait, now we need real shoes.
-I’ll want to go to the casino. Bond, James Bond always wears a tuxedo to the casino. I’m not Bond, James Bond. No tux. But something nicer than shorts and a t-shirt. For a few nights. Ok, all of them.
-And something for the work out room. I never use the work out rooms but just in case that means work out clothes and shoes.
-Don’t forget pajamas. Even if you don’t wear them at home you have to have them for travelling in case there’s a fire at night. Don’t forget slippers.
And that is why I have paid overweight baggage fees.

SuitcaseBusiness trips weren’t less painful. The last few years of work I traveled a lot to other hospitals to do operational reviews. These would take me one or two days each and I usually did 2 or 3 hospitals at a time so I was mostly gone for 4 or 5 days. Because these places could be located almost anywhere in the country and there are only 3 airports in the world that have direct flights between them, business travel meant more time in and between airports than at productive work. Somehow I managed to get a week’s worth of shirts and ties, laptop and files, and the requisite book, phone and flight snack crammed into one approved sized carry-on. Heavy, but within the limits of the underseat and overhead compartment areas.

No matter if it was a week-long vacation, a long weekend getaway, or the puddle jumping business treks, each time I’d check in to a hotel I’d empty my modern day steamer trunk and/or little carry-on, iron the wrinkles out of the shirts, then hang everything up and load the folded stuff into the dresser drawers. When I’d go anywhere with anyone else I’d get the questioning looks that said “what the heck are you doing?” and that included the ex who should have already known I was more than a little on the “over organized” side of things. (Does anybody else do this also or do all those hotels put in closets and dressers and provide irons and ironing boards just in case I happen to show up?)

And that’s why I’m looking forward to next week and one of the things I am thankful for. No matter where I end up for the holiday, no suitcases will be involved in the travel.

All Downhill from Here

Michael 10 Comments

I know I haven’t lived the most exemplary life, but even by my standards, this just isn’t fair. It’s because I still read the paper.

Yesterday’s Sunday paper, the big one for the week, the one with all the features and ads that get in your way of finding Saturday’s scores and the comics. That one. The one that published this year’s first ski report. Yeah. It’s skiing time.

I guess that shouldn’t be so shocking. It was only 14 degrees Friday night. (That’s in Fahrenheit here. Using my handy dandy conversion calculator I make it that would be -10 Celsius. Oh, that sounds even colder.) Plenty cold enough for either the natural or manufactured variety of ski powder, and there were both in the mountains. Not shocking nor unfair.

The shocking part…the price of lift tickets. Here a weekend ticket is going for better than $200. That’s not close to a weekend at say St. Regis but a far cry from the $49 that is cost when I was half my current age. But the reality is that a Big Mac has gone up over 200% in 30 years also. So, shocking but not not fair.

skier

Image by Lakeshore Learning via Pinterest

The unfair part is the discounts. I don’t mind seeing the young ones getting their 20% or so off the adult prices and that kids under 5 ski free. I applaud that they recognize that seniors might still want to tackle the slopes and give them a full half off the regular prices. That’s very fair. Especially as one pending seniordom I relish on finally collecting the perks. The unfair part is that I can’t yet and won’t for years! Why? Because their idea of senior doesn’t start at 55 with one’s newly acquired AARP card. It’s not at 60, a nice round number, or at 62 which seems to have become the new standard for discounts announced right about the time I turned 60. It’s not even 65 which is what most places will consider reasonable for a senior discount right around the time I’ll turn 62. Nope, their idea of senior is 70. Yes, if you are between 70 and 79, you can ski at any of the area ski resorts for 50% off the regular adult rate.

Oh, what happens after 79? I’m glad you asked. At 80, you can ski free. Really. If you can manage to remember where you put your skis you can use them to your hearts content. Or its stoppage, whichever comes first.