Category Life

Land of Plenty

Michael 7 Comments

I have seen the Land of Plenty and it doubles as my apartment. It’s closing in one three years that I downsized from a 2000+sq.ft. house to a 700sq.ft. apartment and it was time to take stock of that which I decided was worthy of making the change with me. So I did and I discovered that I should have put downsize in quotes.

Clothes are easy. If you haven’t worn it in a year you’re not going to wear in another. Tuxedos excluded. But how do you know when it’s time to let go of those bath towels. I don’t know how I decided which towels to bring with me on the move but however it was it was not well thought out. I ended up with 14 bath towels in my linen closet; there are also 12 hand towels and 14 wash cloths. (No, I don’t have an explanation for the discrepancy. Just go with it.) I can change full towel sets every day and not be concerned with having to do a load of bath linens for half a month.

Bed linen seems to have actually grown since my life reduction. Still I am the proud owner (ok, I am the owner) of seven complete sheets sets each with 4 pillow cases, two comforters, 4 blankets, and two dust ruffles. I know men who can’t even recognize a dust ruffle. Why do I have two? That might have been appropriate for a three bedroom house but for a single bedroom hovel, per sleeping space I probably outpace some major hotel chains.

KitchenToolsThe kitchen hasn’t been spared its own review. There I’ve had the benefit of slowly transferring pieces to my daughter whenever she says things like “I really need a new blender,” and I can come back with “Before you go to Target you can have one of mine.” Even shifting a blender off to her I still have two (one standard, one immersion). I also still have two food processors and two slow cookers even though she has taken possession of one of each of those, and for some reason I have two coffee makers.

Somehow the number and sizes of my pots and pans are appropriate but the kitchen tools are out of control. Do I really need three potato mashers? I rarely even eat potatoes. How many slotted spoons should grace one small kitchen? If the answer is four I have just enough. Spatulas, turners, and spoons fill two utensil crocks on the small counter. One drawer holds three zesters, two peelers, and a garlic press.

Even the glassware hasn’t escaped consideration for further reduction. A man who doesn’t drink does not need a complete set of 4 each red and white wine glasses, champagne flutes, and martini, rocks, and pilsner glasses. And an ice bucket.

Yes I think it’s time for another elimination round. There’s always the tried and true garage sale. I certainly have enough to make for an interesting afternoon of browsing for some people. I could donate them all to the local St. Vincent dePaul Society. If I did I’d not ask for a receipt for taxes or I’d certainly be setting myself up for an audit down the road. I could post them for sale on line but then I’d have to worry about taking pictures and shipping or meeting a complete stranger in a parking lot to hand over a stir fry pan. No I think the easiest thing to do is just leave them all where they are and let my heirs fight over them when I’m gone.

By then they should be museum quality antiques.

———-

WTC

Photo: Jeff Mock via WikiMedia Commons

TRRSB Extra: Say World Trade Center terrorist attack and your first thought probably goes to Sept 11, 2001. But that wasn’t the first terrorist attack on the New York skyscraper. That came 25 years ago today on 26 February 1993 when 15 people conspired and parked a rental van packed with 1200 pounds of explosives in the parking garage beneath the towers. Six people including a pregnant woman were killed and over 1,000 injured in the blast that also caused over $590 million in damage.

The FBI called the van bomb the “largest by weight and by damage of any improvised explosive device that we’ve seen since the inception of forensic explosive identification.” The World Trade Center’s sprinklers, generators, elevators, public address system, emergency command center, and more than half of the incoming electricity lines to the buildings were destroyed in the attack.

Sometime today please take a moment to remember the victims of the forgotten attack on the World Trade Center.

 

Is it just me . . .

Michael 6 Comments

I was going to end the title here with “…or is it chili in here?” in honor of National Chili Day (get it, is it chili in here? I crack myself up), but then I thought better of it and opted not to start a new Internet controversy. There are arguments enough on line that I don’t have to add fuel to the fire and start shouting matches between the bean camp and the no beaners, fights between the beef chunkers versus the ground beef crowd, or debates over whether vegetarian chili is or is not mutually exclusive. No, I’m not going to be the cause of any more strife along the world’s interwebs.

Instead I thought I’d pose a more calm inducing topic to the world today. Does anybody else think that snowboarding should be banned from the Olympics? Like forever. Plus an extra 20 years for good measure!

It has nothing to do with whether snowboarding is a “sport” and are snowboarders “athletes.” That would be no and no. But neither is the biathlon and I have nothing against that being in the Olympics. And before anybody gets too excited, curling is a sport and curlers are athletes and it without a doubt belongs in the Olympics. (Contrary to popular belief curling is not just shuffleboard on ice. If anything it more closely resembles bocce on ice and it is a travesty that lawn bowling is not an Olympic sport in the summer games yet beach volleyball is. But I digress. If you’re interested in finding out why bocce belongs in the Olympics you can read what I said about that here.)

SnowboardingIOC18So what do I have against snowboarding and snowboarders? Nothing personally. It can be entertaining and they are talented but it’s not a sport. It cannot be quantified. There is no time or distance measured to objectively determine the winner. If there was a downhill snowboard race and the winner determined by who gets there first, that would be a sport worthy of inclusion in the winter games.

Ah ha! you say. What then about skating? Sorry, that has to go too. It’s been around since the first winter Olympics but it should have never been allowed and it has to go. If the figure skaters and ice dancers (does anybody really know the difference?) want to compete for a medal on ice, let them try speed skating or hockey. Or curling even. Otherwise I’ll be happy to enjoy their contributions to a genteel society when they show up in town with Disney on Ice. While we’re at it, freestyle skiing is out also as is ski jumping unless they agree to ditch the style points and award medals only for distance. Not giving yourself a concussion on landing would be nice but not essential if the length is there.

The Olympics have hung around almost 2000 years to celebrate the fastest, the strongest, the highest. Not who can spin around in the air with a surfboard strapped to his feet the prettiest.

Thank you for your unwavering support and agreement.

And Happy Chili Day.

Ground. With beans.

And yes, it is.

 

Happy No Not That

Michael 6 Comments

Today is Presidents Day in the United States. Actually it isn’t. It’s Washington’s Birthday but nobody calls it that anymore and I won’t dwell on that here because I already dwelled on it here. Regardless of what you want to call it I’m not going to talk about it here and not because I have an issue with the weirdo in office now. I have issues with all the weirdos who’ve been there except maybe Washington but I already took issue with those issues here.

No today is more important, more universal, more significant than presidents. Lots of countries have presidents. And why do we feel we have to “honor” these career politicians anyway? Do other countries with presidents have a special day set aside to remember the contributions of everybody who ever was crazy enough to take a job no sane person would want?

What about the countries without presidents? Are there King Days in monarchies? Are there Premier Days in oligarchies? Do puppet governments have Dictator Day? What about the countries with where the seat of government is more sofa-like with say a president and a prime minister? Who gets the day? Does each get a day? Maybe 12 hour shifts on the same day?

I’m sorry but there are just too many issues with Presidents Day. Leave it at Washington’s Birthday about the rest of them. You guys in other countries are on your own. Now to be truly universal, seriously inclusive, honestly honorable, let’s celebrate the day that everybody can get behind. Come on and join me in celebrating…..

Happy Fiftieth Anniversary to Mister Rogers Neighborhood!

Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people.   -Fred Rogers

Although Mr. Rogers Neighborhood was first broadcast by what would become PBS on February 19, 1968, Fred Rogers first hit the airwaves from Toronto with his Children’s Corner in 1961. His gentle manner and strong devotion have done more for America than all of the presidents we’ve elected since then. We would have done well to more often hold him as one to emulate rather than ridicule. They say in America anybody can grow up to become President. But only one American ever grew up to become Mr. Rogers. While you are celebrating your extra day off take a moment to ask yourself who you have been more like as a role model for your children, grandchildren, nieces, and nephews. And knowing what you know now, who you would have more wanted as yours.

I could have written an entire post celebrating Mr. Rogers but there isn’t enough space available to me to say all the good things about this remarkable man. Our world is better because of his Neighborhood. Now if we could only get our country to follow suit.

Misterogers

Pittsburgh Post Gazette

First Steps

Michael 24 Comments

I did something last week I have never ever done in my life that may well change my life. Yes, even this old life. And even though it put things into play that will someday move very quickly, these first steps are going to plod along. I’m going to take you on this journey with me mostly because I don’t want to go and I think those here in my immediate world might need some help keeping me moving along.

Warning, this post actually has some personal information about me that I’ve never shared before. It is not recommended for the squeamish. (Or for those who might have developed any kind of respect for me especially when I reveal what a fraidy-cat I am.)

Last week my nephrologist put in referral paperwork for me to be evaluated for a kidney transplant. And I am terrified.

I’ve worked my entire adult life in health care, mostly in hospitals. I am the most rational human being when somebody asks me for an opinion, a clarification, or some information. But when it comes to me, I’m the biggest wimp in Fraidytown. I hate doctors and nurses and hospitals and medicine and machines whenever I am the focus of their attention. The only good people I see from a hospital bed are the ones who bring me food. Everybody else is an unwelcome visitor. 《Shudder!!!》Now I’m going to have to go through examinations and tests and (arrgghhhh!!!) needles to see if I get to be cut open and have more of my insides swapped out or get sent back to live a life of dialysis with its sharp objects and scary machines.

I hate dialysis. Let me see if I convey how I really feel about dialysis. I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate dialysis. And if one more person tells me “but it’s just a few hours a week” I will stab them with the needles that are thrust into me at each session.

Unlike other long term invasive procedures where an access port might be implanted under the skin to accept the needle used (say for chemotherapy), in dialysis the preferred method of access is your own vein. A surgeon cuts into your arm and brings the vessel from deep within the arm to immediately underneath the skin. Yes it is weird seeing your vein basically sitting on top of your arm and feeling it pulse with your, well, your pulse. Into this vein a dialysis nurse or technician inserts two needles about the diameter of a ball point pen, connects those to a pair of plastic tubes, and attaches those to a machine about the size, and with similar function, of a gasoline pump.

For the next three and a half hours I get to watch my blood zip around the room while it is rid of the crud we ask our kidneys to shed that mine decided to stop shedding. Add in the before and after procedures and repeat a few times a week and that’s why I hate dialysis.

But I also hate surgeries. Let me see if I can convey how much I hate surgeries. You get the idea. I won’t put you through that again. For the first 55 years of my life I had never been in a hospital as a patient. Never a broken bone, never a needed stitch, never even a false alarm brought me close to wearing a hospital gown. Then in less than four years I spent 18 months with my back end uncovered and endured four surgeries, only one of which I didn’t almost die during or shortly after. (True stuff there.) In the last couple years I’ve been back for numerous outpatient procedures and one additional full blown surgery (not death defying (whew!)). Familiarity doesn’t really breed contempt but it sure breeds a hell of a lot of fear.

Every surgery I’ve had has been complicated by a condition I live with that makes decisions for me every day. Seventeen years ago I was diagnosed with Wegener’s Granulomatosis, now known as Granulomatosis with Polyangiitis. We’re not allowed to use the W-word anymore because he was a Nazi. GPA is a rare type of vasculitis that affects less than 3 out of 100,000 people and is fatal without treatment. There is no cure but with various medications the inflammation can be abated. So we have a fatal, rare disease, without a cure, and after years of research somebody figured out the doctor who discovered it was on the wrong side in a war and shouldn’t be “honored” by having a rare, fatal disease, still without a cure, named after him.

GPA primarily affects two major organs, the lungs and (drum roll please) the kidneys. Yes, my kidney disease is not a result of the trauma of the surgeries or the cancer or hard living. It is from the Wegen– oops, from GPA. So in addition to the rest of the pending evaluation, I have to somehow demostrate that my chronic condition will not adversely affect a new (actually a used) kidney. I do that by taking my medicine and having regularly seduced blood work to measure the inflammation markers in my blood. More needles!

So, to make a long story short (I know … too late), I am about to embark on a process that will determine whether I undergo major surgery followed by a lifetime of drugs and tests, or continue with dialysis and a lifetime of big thick needles and multiple times a week treatments and general life interruptus.

And I want you to come along! Now don’t you just feel special?

 

 

 

 

 

It’s the Most Unwonderful Time of the Year

Michael 12 Comments

It’s time for my annual “Woe is me” party. I figure I have lots of reasons to celebrate my misfortunes. A rare weird disease, cancer, blood clots, lack of mobility, dialysis. Too much plaid in my wardrobe. The list goes on. But those are everyday disasters and things that almost everybody else will go through. Maybe not all of them or the ones you someday experience not all at once. But these are the things people deal with. And I deal with them pretty well. I have good family and good friends and a good medical team to help me along.

But all the help and support from family members and dialysis nurses won’t change the fact that on Wednesday I’m going to wake up alone. There will be no card taped to the bathroom mirror, they’ll be no second place setting at breakfast (and that’s a shame because I’m planning on a traditional Eggs Benedict with my own Hollandaise), there’ll be no impromptu dancing in the living room in front of an open window for the world to see that old people can still love.

I suppose old people still love. I see them. I know some who are seemingly doing all the right things. Maybe that’s it. Seemingly. In my experience, getting old did not help in the still loving department.

Broken_Heart_Pose_(1)First there was the ex. Forgive me for being so old fashioned here but by “ex” I shouldn’t have to explain ex what. It kills me when people refer to someone they dated three times as their ex. That’s a “guy or girl I dated.” Or someone they saw for almost a year. That’s an “old boyfriend.” By the way there is no “old girlfriend.” Just someone “I used to spend time with” accompanied by a wistful look into nowhere. But no, these people aren’t exes. There has to be something that existed to be exed out of. To me “ex” will always and only be an ex-wife. Or husband depending on your point of view.

Anyway, first there was the ex. We weren’t that bad when we were. We had our moments but then we also had our moments. It was hard getting together in the 70’s. Things were expensive. Money was expensive. It was not a time of destination weddings and yearly two week tropical vacations, new cars, new houses, or new tires no matter how much the mechanic whined they weren’t going to pass inspection next time. We’ll worry about it then. And that was pretty much how we got though out first 10 years. Worrying about it then. And then by the next 10 years we didn’t have to worry so much. Cars were newer. Houses were big enough that the daughter could have her own room with lots of space to spare. Plans were made and met and new ones thought up. One plan that caught us off guard was that I planned on turning 40 and she didn’t. So when I did and she should have soon followed there was lots of holding back and plans changed. Eventually my 40 turned 45 and her never ending 39 regressed to 30 and the 15 years difference was too much for her.

comforting__hearttle_6__by_domobfdi-d7186dwYears went by and I would meet a somebody now and then in between being dad and homemaker. Single parenting isn’t much fun for the male set either in case you’re wondering. Eventually a new she entered and if she wasn’t perfect, she was just right. Right enough that space could be made for her. We danced and swam and festivaled. We visited places from northern falls to tropical islands and enjoyed time in farm markets and art studios. Plans were made and met and new ones thought up. One plan that caught us off guard was that I planned on getting cancer (well, part of me did but didn’t bother to tell the rest of me until it was too late) and she planned on me always being the same. So when I did and the cure necessitated removing some parts of me, and some of those parts were the parts that impart a certain amount of masculinity to maleness, and plans changed. We struggled a bit until the phone call that spoke of things wanted and things able and they weren’t the same things. And then sometime in our 8th, maybe 9th, could have been 10th year, the new she began to become someone I used to spend time with.

So twice bitten I’ve had no will to risk adding even a girl I used to date to my record. The desire, yes. The will, no. I’d love to have someone warm to hold close at night or to slog through mud tracked roads leading to the demonstration area at the maple festival. Someone to see the old ships of New England and the old houses of the Old Country. Or someone to sit next to and read a book for the fourteenth time and for the thirteenth time to explain that it’s OK to reread a book. Or someone to share an Eggs Benedict then dance with in front of a window

Nope, not the most wonderful week of the year for me. But that’s ok. There are 51 others to amuse me. I’ll be back to normal sometime next week.

 

Images by Picquery

For the Glory of Sport

Michael 2 Comments

The first of the 2018 Winter Olympic Games will be held today. And the opening ceremony for the 2018 Winter Olympic Games will be held tomorrow. Yes, I noticed that also.

Getting things twisted around like that is nothing new for the First Olympic Winter Games. You can go back to the first Winter Olympics in 1924 to confirm that.

OL1924In 1924 athletes from sixteen nations gathered in Chamonix France from January 25 to February 5 to compete in 16 events. On January 26, 1924 (the day after the opening ceremonies), Charles Jewtraw, an American from Lake Placid New York, finished the 500 meter speed skating event in 44.0 seconds to win the first gold medal of the games.

The other events held at Chamonix including Four Man Men’s Bobsleigh, 18km and 50km Men’s Cross Country Skiing, Men’s Curling, Men’s and Women’s Individual and Mixed Pair’s Figure Skating, Men’s Ice Hockey, Men’s Military Patrol (a sort of 4 man team biathlon), Men’s Individual Nordic Combined, Men’s Individual Ski Jumping, and Men’s 1000m, 1500m, 5000m, and Combined Speed Skating. Two hundred, fifty eight athletes participated in these sports; forty-nine medals were awarded.

The last medal awarded went to another American athlete. Anders Haugen was awarded the bronze medal in Men’s Individual Ski Jumping. He was awarded the medal on September 12, 1974. He was originally scored in fourth place but was advanced to third when fifty years later an error was noted in the original results. It’s interesting to note Mr. Haugen is the only American to have ever won an Olympic medal in a ski jumping event.

The 1924 games were opened on January 25 by French National Olympic and Sports Committee member Gaston Vidal. The opening was accompanied by a parade of athletes, each country led by its flag bearer who took the official oath on behalf of his team.

We swear. We will take part in the Olympic Games in a spirit of chivalry, for the honour of our country and for the glory of sport.

French skier and member of France’s Men’s Military Patrol team Camille Mandrillon delivered the oath to the public on behalf of all athletes assembled there. The games began the following day and medals were awarded at the closing ceremony on February 5. In his remarks at the closing, International Olympic Committee president Pierre de Coubertin stated:

Winter sports have about them a certain purity, and that is why I was inclined to support and nurture them in this Olympic environment.

So where were things twisted around? The Chamonix games of 1924 was in 1924 officially “a week of international winter sport.” In May 1925 at their annual congress,the IOC retroactively designated the 1924 games as the “First Olympic Winter Games.”

What’s that saying? Right. Better late than never.

Olympic Flag

Photo: International Olympic Committee, Olympics.org

 

Pleased to Meet Me

Michael 10 Comments

In an effort to avoid the all day onslaught of football on television yesterday I stumbled upon on old episode of The Golden Girls where Blanche was researching her family tree. I recall my daughter having a similar assignment for some class in some year of some school. We got back a few generations on my mother’s side, but my father’s branch and both sides of her mother’s family stalled after two generations, just about the time the families arrived on American shores.

Tracing a family tree can be fun but back then genealogy was a lot of work. It involved going through family bibles and loose documents and asking questions of surviving friends and relatives of parents and grandparents when you could find them. For us it was further complicated by documents that were written in Italian, German, and Czech. Ancestry.com would have come in handy if it had existed then.

While I’m firmly behind the notion of finding your roots, I’m confused over the recent explosion of DNA testing to determine your ancestry. To me, a person’s heritage is what was learned from one’s parents. I’m American of Italian heritage not because some DNA inside me matches the DNA of some others who sent saliva samples to a particular lab, but because my mother and father raised me as American of Italian heritage. Although DNA testing is fine and dandy for determining lineage, there are many reasons why that DNA may not take a straight line to get to you.

For example, let’s look at a couple of the TV commercials’ reasons for why they think you should have your DNA tested and, to put it politely, blow them out of the water.

DNAFirst there is the one with the earnest sounding man wearing lederhosen and dancing in a German dance troupe. He had his DNA tested and there was no German DNA there. In fact he was Scottish and had to go out and buy a kilt. How could such a thing happen? Oh, I don’t know. Maybe adoption.

Then there is that equally earnest looking couple who were certain that the hubby half is Italian. Where would he have gotten such a foolish idea when his DNA clearly shows he is really “Eastern European.” The idea that nobody is certain of the actual separation of Southern Europe, Eastern Europe and the Balkans aside, there has been so much commercial trade between northern and eastern Italy and the Austrian empire over the centuries that the trading of DNA was inevitable.

Although you can’t deny that DNA is what makes us, it’s not our DNA that makes us. Oh, it gives us our hair and eyes, our build and bones, and our blood and sex types. But it’s our parents that give us our substance, our values, our reason for being the beings we are. Maybe that’s just as high as our trees need to reach.

 

Never Too Much of This Good Thing

Michael 12 Comments

Happy Groundhog Day Eve! I don’t have to remind anybody that of all the 382 special observances of the days, weeks, and month during February, Groundhog Day is my personal favorite not to mention the most useful.

Phil

Photo: Pittsburgh Patch

But I have to question the blatant commercialism that is detracting from this great day. It’s quite alright that Punxsutawney Phil has his own Instagram page or his own souvenir shop. That’s reasonable for a celebrity of his stature. But it’s all this other stuff that everybody else is doing to horn in on his popularity that has to stop.

 

BSBMoon

Photo: NASA

First there was that movie from 25 years ago about the day that kept going and going and going. Now there’s Mother Nature throwing her triple threat Super Blue Blood Moon into the mix a mere two days before Phil’s annual excursion into the public eye. And then there’s that silly football game on Sunday that’s already hogging up all the television time. Honestly, what does it take to get the world’s greatest weather icon his more than deserved respect?

His lack of respect doesn’t stop Phil from his appointed tasks as well as making personal appearances (take that you big extraterrestrial object) and even inspiring love songs (take that you hardly universal sporting event).

GiL

Now just in case you’re too busy tomorrow morning to be in Punxsutawney personally, you can catch Phil streaming his shadow, or lack of, here.

And remember, even if Phil should see his shadow, no matter how long the winter, spring is sure to follow.

 

My State of the World Address

Michael 9 Comments

Tomorrow President Trump will deliver the State of the Union Address. Later tomorrow news and social media sites (which sound remarkably alike lately) will parse and criticize either Trump’s or Joe Kennedy’s (who will present the Democrats’ rebuttal) comments.

ResidentialSealSo in the spirit of annoying at least half the people out there, and as an official Resident of the United States, I’m going to make my comments on the state of the Union now. You see, I can do that because I don’t need a Trump or God forbid a Kennedy to tell me how my state is fairing. Unlike their addresses, mine is actually based on universal truths. So universal that you don’t even need to be from the United States to relate to them, thus I am considering this the State of the World.

The world is in trouble mostly because people want to believe it’s in trouble. It really isn’t. Without sounding like a t-shirt, keep calm and pray if you got ’em. What the world needs is a good dose of common sense. Here are some reasons why.

We are our own worst enemies. This weekend’s local news was filled with the city’s school’s teachers who are threatening to strike. They want to be paid more and to contribute less to their benefits. They will probably strike and eventually a compromise will be approved and they will get more money and a lower contribution though not as much or as great as they would like and will grudgingly return to work. Like labor unions that represent workers who make or sell something, the teacher unions don’t take into consideration that the extra money that must be spent on their increases must come from somewhere and it won’t be from profits. It will be from higher prices or to compensate for the teachers’ and other government employees’ windfalls, higher taxes. These will turn into reasons for next year’s higher pay demands by other unions, cost of living adjustments demands by non-union workers, and increased minimum wage proposals by politicians and thus the cycle continues. This is why although the average wage has risen from $7,300 in 1967 to $73,300 over fifty years to 2017, a tenfold increase, the average new car that in 1967 cost $2,750 cost $33,500 in 2917, 12 times as much as from 50 years prior, and the average house that cost $14,250 in 1967 rose to $377,100 in 2017, 26 & 1/2 times greater. Don’t even ask about insurance rates.

Big Pharma is not out to get you and all doctors are not pill mills. Yes, drug companies manufacture and wholesale opioid narcotics. Yes, opioid narcotics are an addictive nightmare and some abused opioids began as prescriptions. But most opioid that are being abused are being manufactured in illegal labs by criminals. Heroin and heroin/fentanyl combinations are by far the largest abused, and deadly, opioids. But, opioid by class are only the fifth most abused substances coming in behind alcohol, marijuana, methamphetamine, and cocaine. Prescription drug abuse ranks higher only when you include the prescribed opioids with benzodiazapines (anybody remember “Valley of the Dolls”), codeine and codeine derivatives, anabolic steroids, and the prescription stimulants methylphenidate (Ritalin) and amphetamine (Aderall).

It should not come as a surprise that efforts to fight opioid addiction are misdirected since every other addiction is being mistreated or outright ignored. Oooh, oooh, drugs are bad, drugs are bad say the sheep. Ooh, ooh, Marijuana is soooo good and it cures all kinds of diseases so we should all be allowed to have some say the same sheep. Drinking and driving is clearly bad. Sixty-five percent of fatal single vehicle accidents involve alcohol, 29% of all fatal accidents involve alcohol. Three drinks will impair an average build adult. Don’t drive if you drink that third drink! Cigarette smoking is evil. Period. The nicotine will get you every time. There is nicotine in those vaping thingies! That’s why people crave them. Duh!

Guns don’t kill people. But they sure do make it easy for people to. Especially those that fire 150 rounds a minute. Without taking the all or none approach can we agree that automatic weapons don’t belong in the hands anybody not currently and actively serving in the military in a combat zone? Hunting and target shooting can be accomplished quite nicely one bullet at a time.

Climate change is real. It’s also inevitable. The world changes. It has changed. It will continue to change. That’s how we got here. That’s how we’ll leave. Deal with it.

We are own worst enemies, part two. Data breaches continue and will so. Some of the biggest you may not have even know. The ten biggest data breaches by number of people’s information exposed are Yahoo (twice for number 1 and 2 at 3 billion in December 2016 and 500 million in September 2016), My Space (360 million, May 2016), Equifax (145.5 million, September 2017), EBay (145 million, May 2014), Target (110 million, November 2013), LinkedIn (100 million, May  2016), AOL (92 million, 2007), JP Morgan Chase (83 million, October 2013), and Anthem Health (80 million, February 2015). Just for grins, do you know who comes in at #11? The Sony Playstation network with 77 million exposures back in April of 2011. And who even knew that My Space still had 360 million users two years ago? Our privacy and our money are at risk every time we access the interwebs. Yet we continue to use digital financing at increasing rates. Starbucks now has stores that do not accept cash joining a growing trend of restaurants and convenience stores in large metropolitan areas that have gone cashless, and Internet sales in 2017 represented over 9% of all retail sales in the U.S. up from 3.6% in 2008.

I could go on. And on and on. But I won’t in the hopes of keeping a few readers. If you want an improving future it’s clear what we have to do. Rekindle common sense, invoke rational thinking, and pray if you got ’em.

NB: Salary and cost figures by USA Today; drug use figures via National Institute on Drug Abuse; drinking and driving statistics via Father’s Against Drunk Driving (FADD), data breaches and rates by USA Today, E-commerce statistics by U.S. Census Bureau.

 

Now I’m Just Milking It

Michael 11 Comments

I think it’s happened. I have finally gotten so old that I don’t understand what’s happening. Not that I don’t think I understand or I misunderstand. I don’t understand what’s happening.

With milk.

BananaMilkdI was going over this week’s grocery store ads (you know, those things that come in the mail) (yes, that mail) (yes, in email too if you want) (or on line) and saw that this week’s sales include banana milk. What do people have against cows?

I know many people have dairy allergies and need a cow’s milk alternative. That’s why we have soy milk although I don’t understand how they fit the little stool and bucket under a soy bean. But that’s a different kind of not understanding, not the big not understanding what’s happening of understandings.

Then somebody decided soy milk wasn’t any better for people than cow’s milk so they had to invent new milks. (Just to mention another thing in the long list of things that I don’t understand is how the soy in soy milk isn’t good for us but the soy in tofu is still ok.) So now we have almond milk, cashew milk, flax milk, quinoa milk, hemp milk, oat milk, rice milk, coconut milk, and pea protein milk. And now banana milk. All with nothing in common with dairy milk (and soy milk) except they are sort of white but without all the pesky allergens. And most of the nutrients. Then we add to each one its proponents. Check that. Each one’s fanatics.

Why is it that food attracts so much controversy? There always seems to be as much debate with food extremists as with partisan politics zealots. And sometimes not even as much fun. We have vegans, gluten freers (who are not celiacs), paleo dieters, juicers and cleansers, and now milkers. But not the kind with stools and buckets. Each trying to convince anybody not in said camp why theirs is the one way, the right way, the only way. Next you’ll be seeing them soliciting in airports handing out banana peels in exchange for your loose change.

Well, while all those others are trying to fit their stools and buckets under their nuts and peas and bananas I’m going to have a nice big glass of old fashioned milk milk. With a cookie. Baked. If that’s not too old fashioned.

Cow

Moo.