Category Life

The Almost Open

Michael 10 Comments

Picture this. It’s late on a Sunday afternoon. You’re full from too much Father’s Day celebratory luncheon, it’s too hot to take a walk, it’s even too hot to go swimming, and you’re not in the mood to read. You just want to sit. If it was 40 years ago you’d do your imitation of a couch potato.

Then you remember, even though it’s not your sport, you know this is that weekend. The Weekend. The weekend that gets capitalized   The one with the biggest names, the longest drives, the finesse when it’s needed, the trophy, the payoff. The U. S. Open.

Of badminton.

USABadmintonI didn’t set out to watch the U.S. Open of Badminton. I didn’t set out to watch the U. S. Open of Golf. (That’s the one you were thinking of, wasn’t it?) I wasn’t in the mood to do anything so I sat in my chair. (Yes, I have a “my chair.” Every male over the age of 40 has a “my chair.”) And after sitting therein (thereon?) (there?) for some time, I decided I needed to do something other than just sit. So I reached for the remote and remembered about that golf thingie. But I didn’t know what station was carrying it so I pushed the button with the picture of the microphone and said “U S Open” (I might have said it with the periods after the “U” and the “S” but I didn’t hear them so I’m not including them here) figuring it would take me to that golf thingie. Instead it brought up a screen for me to clarify which “U. S. Open” (I saw the periods on the screen so I am including them here). Who knew?

Since I was given a choice, I picked badminton. Wow. It’s not your backyard after picnic probably most played on Father’s Day badminton. First of all they use a real court with real poles holding up a real net. We always had to hold up one end of the net with the clothesline pole and make the sidewalk to the tool shed one back boundary and the hedges with the red berries you’re not allowed to eat the other. The other thing is they had a lot of shuttlecocks. We had three. One was stuck in the gutter and would remain there forever. One we couldn’t use in case we lost the one we were using. They certainly didn’t need a lot of shuttlecocks. I watched them for several sets and they never once flung the one in play out of anyone’s reach.

That’s another thing. They played it sets. And kept score. Even though the court looks like a 3/4 scale tennis court the scoring is more like table tennis. Unlike tennis, or golf for that matter, the crowd is obviously into the competition. Tennis and golf spectators might be into their respective competitions but you could never tell. Everybody at those events is so reserved. Even the TV announcers whisper. Not in badminton. These fans cheer their favorites, they scream their approval at a diving save, and they openly applaud a well-placed lob. When the contestants entered the arena it could have been 1974 with Muhammed Ali and Joe Frazier coming down the aisle at Madison Square Garden. The lights, the music, the cheers! They don’t do that at Wimbledon.

Overall, it was a good way to spend a late afternoon. I’m not sure that I’ll track the progress of the world class badminton players on their March to the Olympics (yes, it is), but if I’m not doing anything next Sunday, I have an alternate to watching golf.

 

Sun, Sun, Sunny Days

Michael 5 Comments

We are having some sunny, sunny, sunny days. Days meant for the liberal use of SPF 50. Or higher even?

Controversy of controversies, people are arguing about sun screen! Fifty years ago if we wanted sunscreen we wore hats and long sleeve shirts outdoors. Did you think those baseball uniforms were just a fashion statement? If you slathered anything on your skin it was most likely a splash of Coppertone or Sea & Ski hoping for a deep, dark tan rather than hoping to not get skin cancer.

Today, everybody knows of the dangers of overexposure to the sun and the significant health consequences that go beyond cosmetic considerations. But still people question. For some reason, all countries don’t use the same rating system for sunscreens but most people recognize the SPF ratings even if they all don’t know what those numbers mean. Like nutrition and politics, many people are content to get their skin protection news and information from late night TV and underemployed comedians.

It’s been established that SPF 15 blocks 93% of UF-A rays, those rays that are responsible for skin damage including melanoma. Does SPF 30 protect the skin from twice as many sun rays? Yes and no. The companies that don’t make products with higher SPF ratings will tell you that you can’t block more than 100% of anything. And darned if they aren’t true. And they continued to be true until they came up with their own SPF 30 which blocks 97% of those rays or an SPF 50 product blocking 98%. Let’s review. A jump in 15 SPFs increases the protection by 4% then the next 20 of those SPFs got us just another 1%. So where does that leave the new SPF 100 with its mammoth leap of 50 SPF thingies?

Instead, let’s look at what those SPF numbers are. Although you can quantify how much blockage they impart, that number on your sunscreen bottle isn’t a reflection of sun blocking. It’s actually the Sun Protection Factor or an estimation of how long you can stay exposed to the sun. An SPF 15 sunscreen means you can be in the sun for 15 minutes before you experience the damage unprotected skin experiences in one minute. SPF 30 gives you 30 minutes of exposure before seeing that damage, and so on.

You don’t double the amount of sun blocked by doubling the SPF but you double the time you can be in the sun without incurring the amount of damage your skin will experience. Or before having to reapply to extend that time.

CoppertoneOh, another thing about sunscreens. Those SPF numbers were calculated based on exposure to UV-A rays, the ones that cause potential skin cancers and other damage. Old fashioned sun burn is caused by UV-B rays. Not to worry though. Find a sunscreen that says it is “broad spectrum” and protects against both.

Umm, until you get wet. Then, you probably want to reapply regardless if how long it’s been since you last slathered.

We now return you to your regular program. Or to the sun porch.

 

No Bones About It

Michael 7 Comments

Last week at the deli I finally took the time to actually read the little tags in front of the rows of meats waiting to be sliced to your favorite thickness, or thinness, to your preferred weight. Actually to the weight you want the meat. Probably if you were looking to get to your preferred weight you wouldn’t be at the deli.

Anyway, I was reading the tags and I kept noticing a theme with the ham selections. They were all “off the bone.” I didn’t understand. Isn’t ham supposed to be off the bone? If I wanted ham on the bone I’d go buy the big chunk of pig leg and bake my own ham to ultimately slice as thick, or as thin, as I’d like. I know on those occasions I have done just that, step number one to slicing ham however thick, or thin, you like it is cut the ham off the bone.

HamHam has always had something of an image problem. Years ago there were basically two kinds of ham you could get. Cooked or not cooked. You had to cook both but the not cooked took more steps and more hours than the cooked to cook. Then someone decided that was too confusing so they started calling them city hams and country hams. It only took a few times to the store to figure out which was the cooked ham that didn’t require as much cooking as the not cooked ham. That’s the one I wanted. Maybe because I was from the city. Or maybe it was because I liked the idea of someone starting the cooking for me. I don’t know. But I figured out which was which and which to take home and cook. Or finish cooking.

And then those same theys (I think it was the same theys but it could have been a new group of theys) started fooling around with the pig anatomy and came up with a semi boneless ham. I never knew which part of the bone, or the leg, was halved but the ones I got always still had a bone in them. But that was a good thing because how are you going to make the bean soup when you’re all done slicing the ham off the bone as thick, or as thin, as you want it if you don’t have the bone to start the soup with. I have read several recipes for bean soup and they all start with “put a ham bone in a big pot.” Not “put half a ham bone in a big pot.”

Now the latest thing they (the original theys, the second wave of theys if there was even was a second wave, or a whole new they group) came up with is the spiral sliced ham. Oh sure, you can say that’s not new, those have been around a long time. But in the past to get a spiral sliced ham you had to go to a special store and they were all the way cooked and they cost about as much as filet mignon instead of your basic pig leg. But now you can walk into any grocery store and pick up a spiral sliced ham as long as you want the cooked version and don’t mind relinquishing the how thick, or how thin, the slicing to an anonymous spiraler.

But to get back to the short story, no matter what kind, how cooked, in the city or out in the country, with or without half a bone, or presumed pre-sliced spirally speaking, you have to get the ham off the bone. So what’s the big deal with this “off the bone” label?

And don’t even get me started on the salami!

 

 

 

 

Do Unto Others…Proudly

Michael 6 Comments

Oh the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Simplified, love your neighbor as yourself. I love me unconditionally, or as Fred Rogers would be happy to hear, just the way I am. I don’t always like me but I do love me. Mr. Rogers would like it if I liked me just the way I am but if I want to be golden about it, at least I am hitting the loving requirement. And by extension, I love you also.

Clearly a lot of people in the world don’t love each other, but lately there have been a lot of people ignoring Mr. Rogers exhortation to even “like you just the way you are.” Not only that but people are taking exception with anybody who doesn’t even think like they do. Forget “like you just the way you are,” the world is taking the stance “it’s my way or the highway” and telling others to hit the road.

We are getting deep into Gay Pride Month and I have a story you can use to improve your Gay, Race, Ability, Origin, or Any Other Variable score. Fans of Mr. Rogers know he had a variety of residents of and visitors to his Neighborhood. Some of these even non-viewers recognize like Mr. McFeely, King Friday XIII, and Daniel Tiger. Others are not so universally recognized like Handyman Negri, Chef Brocket, and Officer Clemmons.

Francois Clemmons was a gay, black man in 1969. Neither was a popular modifier in 1960s America. But only one was evident. Regardless of his sexual orientation, Officer Clemmons was obviously African American. In an early episode in 1969, Mr. Rogers and Officer Clemmons meet outside in the summer heat and sit together, cooling their feet in a child’s plastic wading pool. A black man and white man in the same pool were almost unheard of in 1969. Yet together they sat. In his final appearance on the show 24 years later, Mr. Rogers and Officer Clemmons cooled their feet in the pool again. It wasn’t as unusual by 1993. The physical difference had become the non-issue for many besides Fred Rogers.

That Francois Clemmons was gay never made the airwaves. Neither did his religion, political party affiliation, or college alma mater. These were differences that didn’t matter. Mr. Rogers liked Officer Clemmons, and Fred liked Francois, just the way he was. He also never mentioned that Officer Clemmons was of a different race. Had it not been visibly noticeable, nobody would have thought it was odd that they shared a moment with their feet in the pool together by the way Mr. Rogers treated and spoke with Officer Clemmons. They would have been just two friends who liked each other. Just the way they were.

We have a hard enough time accepting people who look different to us. Do we really have to add to the difficulties by going out of our ways to find differences to dislike that we can’t even see?

This month, and next, and the one after that, when you run across somebody who you might think is a little different than you are, instead of going out of your way to tell him or her to hit the road, go out of your way and say, “Hi Neighbor. I like you just the way you are.”

To hear Francois Clemmons talk about his experience in the Neighborhood, click here.

RogersClemmons

Photo John Beale (Pittsburgh City Paper)

Tactical Sandals and Assault CEOs

Michael 2 Comments

I don’t know what it is about weekends but I get the strangest emails and see the oddest posts between Friday afternoon and Sunday morning.

For example, an email from Friday touted this season’s best hiking sandals. I don’t know why I was getting an email encouraging me to buy women’s clothes but after I got over that bit of incredulity I was left wondering if the purveyors were actually serious about encouraging anybody with the intent of setting off on say the Appalachian Trail to do it in sandals. Or were they using term “hiking” in a more poetic sense as in trekking from Sak’s to Nordstrom.

If you’ve watched any cable channel in the last month you’ve seen a spate of advertising for “tactical” sunglasses. “Tactical” must mean something new and different for the 21st century. I learned that it meant something used to gain a desired advantage or outcome particularly in military applications. Recalling my own years in the military (admittedly in that other century that brought me those vocabulary lessons which included my working definition of tactical) I know I never had a briefing on the correct eyewear for a particular campaign, drill, or exercise. Yet it was just last Saturday that I saw a banner ad march across my screen warning me not to be taken in by imposters, these are the tactical sunglasses our heroes are wearing. Oh, and if I act now I would get a free tactical flashlight. Just pay a separate fee.

This one isn’t so care free. If you didn’t see it, the weekend news included an article about a Chicago firefighter who was cited for not securing a firearm and having an assault type rifle within the city limits when his 14 year old daughter posted a picture of herself holding the weapon on Snapchat captioned “Don’t worry, I won’t shoot up Lane,” referring to Chicago’s Lane Tech College Prep High School. It seemed a straightforward enough news story until America got hold of it. Comments to the online article ran from “they have nothing better to do than arrest 14 year olds,” and “all your cities are cesspools,” to “it’s not illegal for a child to hold a gun,” and “in all fairness the firefighter is probably white.” I’m sure none of that was what I had envisioned as protecting either our First and Second Amendments or any other rights when I volunteered for the military back in that different century. But then, I didn’t get the class on the tactical sunglasses either so what do I know.  By the way, none of the commenters questioned why the young lady was either threatening a high school or who misled her about what constitutes online humor.

I guess this was news earlier in the week but I didn’t see it until Saturday. Apparently there is a regulation that requires CEOs to declare their salaries in terms of percentage of the average worker of their company. Without going into all the details, the average CEO makes about 17 times what the average worker does. We know some CEOs make millions of dollars but the average CEO salary is $730,000. We also know that hundreds of thousands of people make minimum wage but the average salary in the US is around $43,000. We further know the average company president (there are a lot more of them than CEOs) is making $147,000 a year. Now nobody asked me but I got curious. How much does the average union president make compared to his or her rank and file. A 2017 survey of union presidents revealed 22 of them made over $400,000 in 2016 with an average salary of slightly more than $300,000. Oddly enough it was difficult to find an accurate average salary of American union laborers. The most recent number I found was from 2014 and that was $950 a week or about $49,400 per year. Like I said, nobody asked but I was interested.

This is a good one. It’s always challenging when I get to talk with my cable and Internet provider. Sunday my service went out. It was working fine until … well, let me start at the beginning. In Saturday’s paper (you do still read your local paper, don’t you?) I read an article about a widespread computer virus that was discovered and neutralized by whomever (whoever?) tracks these sorts of things. This particular thing was affecting not computers but modems and routers. Apparently a simple reset of your modem is enough to protect or free your equipment from this virus. I read this at dialysis and was a few miles away from my modem but I made that mental note to do just that when I got home. Of course I forgot. When I finally remembered on Sunday, I managed to reset my modem just as a major system outage was occurring. When my modem did not go back on line I panicked thinking I activated the virus and would never be able to go on line again and would never be able to buy those hiking sandals that would best show off my calves or those tactical sunglasses with free bonus tactical flashlight. To make a long story short (I know, too late), I called my provider and got a recorded message describing the extent of the outage and that service would be restored in a few hours. If I wanted to follow the progress I could do so at their website. Hmmm.

I don’t know what it is about weekends.

 

Step 3B – More Tests

Michael 15 Comments

It’s been a while since I brought you a transplant update so I thought I should get at that knowing that without one soon, your days just wouldn’t be the same.

I haven’t done an update for a while because I’m still in the midst of the tests. You’ll recall the evaluation process started with a series of exams and some “simple” diagnostics – labs, x-rays, EKG, and sonogram. Those were all done in a single visit to the transplant unit at the hospital. More in depth testing was ordered and those are a previously alluded to cardiac stress test, an echocardiogram, a CT scan of the abdomen and pelvis, and a colonoscopy. They should have all been completed by now but the physician doing the colonoscopy had to postpone so that is now scheduled next week. After that I have to secure a medical clearance from my urologist to go with the clearances already secured from the dermatologist and rheumatologist.

You might ask why they need all these tests and clearances and that’s why I’m here. At least for this post. The initial tests determined suitability to undergo the actual operation. For any surgery, a patient will be ordered an initial exam and basic labs, chest x-ray, and EKG. Usually those labs include chemistries and blood studies to see how the body is processing, and the exam is done by the surgeon or a PCP to get an idea of the patient’s general health.

The initial transplant lab tests included the basics but added blood and tissue typing to determine what to look for in a donor organ and some specific tests to exclude the possible or potential exposure to hepatitis, pneumonia, tuberculosis, or cytomegalovirus. These would not exclude a patient from transplant but might indicate additional tests or precautions, or possible vaccines or treatments, may be required.

The more in-depth testing of the echocardiogram and stress test are necessary not only to determine if the patient will be able to withstand the rigors of major surgery but also the aftercare which will be complicated by a drug regimen including immunosuppressants and corticosteroids. The colonoscopy is necessary to detect the presence of any cancers not noted by other tests or reviews which might exclude a patient from consideration.

The medical clearances are specific to each patient’s history. The initial referral must come from a nephrologist or kidney specialist. Nephrology is the specialty involved with the patients already ongoing dialysis treatments so that physician is most able to tell if there would be a possible benefit to considering a transplant and the urgency if so considered.

Every potential transplant patient is also required to have a dermatology clearance. This seemingly unrelated specialty clearance might sound an odd requirement. The immunosuppressive drugs used for life after transplant are associated with the possible development of skin cancers. The dermatologist can establish if the patient already is at risk or has melanoma activity and can further establish a baseline survey to be used as a control for future annual examinations. In my case the dermatology consult was of more significance because I am already being treated with immunosuppressants for the Wegener’s Granulomatosis (now called Granulomatosis with Polyangiitis (GPA) (and we already talked about my feelings on that bit of nomenclature)) that is the apparent cause of my renal failure.

Wegener’s is also responsible for my requirement to have a rheumatology clearance. As a vasculitis, rheumatologists are the most common specialists to be consulted on Wegener’s as are many other autoimmune diseases such as Lupus or Crohn’s Disease. A target organ of Wegener’s is the kidney, especially true in my particular case, so the clearance is required to establish that the disease is not in an active state that would place the donated organ at the same risk of failure as the present. Other organs affected by Wegener’s include lungs, sinuses, and the general vascular system, so active disease would impact the surgery and aftercare even in the absence of kidney involvement.

A urology clearance is also specific to my case because of my medical history having had bladder cancer. That was treated by the removal and subsequent replacement of my natural bladder. I was diagnosed with bladder cancer in 2012. After several attempts of excision of the tumors which all resulted in recurrence we made the decision to remove the bladder completely. This would mean some artificial means of holding liquid waste that typically is done by that unsung organ.  Because I was quite young at the time (only 57, and yes, that is young!) we elected to have a new bladder created, appropriately called a neobladder in the medical world, which the urologist fashioned out of a piece of my ileum. That is the final part of the small intestines that connects the small and large intestines. Long story short, it required a very extensive operation and a lot of “re-plumbing.” The urology clearance will confirm there has been no recurrence of the cancer and that all the pieces are still functioning as they should be and are in the places where they should be and the most appropriate locations for the placement and connection for a donor kidney. The specific requirement for my abdominal/pelvic CT scan will aid him in his part of the evaluation.

And that, in not too brief but actually quite brief discussion is why I am still going through all my evaluation tests. I know, your next question is doesn’t that seem to be too long and too involved for a transplant? And right on the heels of that you might ask but aren’t transplants life and death type operations, why such a long wait for these people?

To the first if those I agree it’s taking a while but no, I don’t think it is too long. Certainly you want to be thorough in evaluating the ability of the patient (remember, that’s me) to get through the operation and that you don’t end up with a successful operation but a dead patient (again, me). So I don’t mind everybody taking their time and getting things right.

And to the question aren’t transplants life and death and you don’t want to take forever with this, I say yes and no. In the case of a kidney transplant there is an alternative treatment to End Stage Renal Disease (ESRD). That is dialysis. Of course a transplant will result in a more natural and often longer life, but dialysis, for all its flaws (enough flaws to keep an entire blog running for a good long while) will keep a kidney patient alive. Like a patient waiting for a heart transplant, if I don’t get a transplant I will probably eventually die from my disease. Unlike a waiting heart transplant patient, I can’t mark that inevitability on my calendar. All transplants can mean the difference between life and death but when you consider sustainable alternatives, for some like a heart, liver, or lung patient, a transplant is more urgent than others like maybe the waiting kidney or pancreas transplant patient.

And so the journey continues, albeit slowly. And my thanks to you for coming along also continues. So please, stay tuned.

Related posts

First Steps (Feb. 15, 2018)
The Next Step (March 15, 2018)
The Journey Continues (April 16, 2018)

Penny for My Thoughts

Michael 7 Comments

It’s another one of those days when I have all these questions in my head and it’s going to explode if I don’t take some pressure off it and get them out in the open. Feel free to fill in any blanks you can.

I was reading one of my food-centric magazines and came across an article on the most important kitchen tools to pack for your next vacation. The only tool I’m planning on using on vacation for dinner is my telephone to call for reservations.

Sticking with food, I recently made a (surprisingly really good!) two ingredient bagel recipe I found on the Interwebs. I wonder if anybody else noticed it took six ingredients.*

There’s been a glut of TV commercials for guaranteed life insurance. You know, the kind that “you can never be turned down and your rates will never go up.” They all cost “35 cents a day.” Never more, never less. The coverage you get varies depending on how old you are and probably your zip code but the rate is always “35 cents a day.” But did you ever try to buy a day’s worth of insurance? Sure, they’ll quote you that rate but see what kind of answer you get if you ask them to draw “35 cents a day” from your checking account.

QuestionSince I brought up the high finance world, have to you noticed the ads for that company who will protect your personal information, information that impacts your credit reports and affects your credit score, from the “dark web.” They probably know something about it because wasn’t that the same company whose data bases that hold all your personal information, credit reports, and credit score were breached a couple years ago, maybe even by someone on the “dark web.”

Why, after years of encouraging hands-free phone use and no text use in cars, are we now making cars with multifunction touch screens in the middle of the dashboard in place of the traditional tactile buttons and knobs?

Does anybody else remember Dag Hammarskjöld?

—–

*One cup flour, 1&1/2 tsp baking powder, 1/2 teaspoon salt, one cup plain Greek yogurt, one beaten egg, toppings of you choice (I used sea salt and cracked pepper on two and onion flakes on the other two so I guess I actually used 8 ingredients). Whisk flour, salt, and baking powder together, add yogurt to combined flour mixture and mix until combined, flour work surface and knead until dry(ish), form into ball and cut into four pieces, roll each piece into a 6-8 inch log and turn into a circle, brush with beaten egg, top as desired, place on parchment lined baking sheet, bake at 350 degrees for 24 minutes then at 450 for 4 minutes more.

 

More Lessons on Ice

Michael 5 Comments

When they were picking teams for dodge ball in the playground behind the school, were you one of the last to go? OK, clearly I’m old. You can tell by the references to dodge ball, playground, and the picking of teams for any activity not associated with trivia night at the bar. Even if you are too young to remember these, or too savvy to acknowledge them, you probably have heard of such things as being “picked last in grade school for..” in many episodes of The Big Bang Theory. And you know it didn’t get them down. They all now make lots of money and are really big stars. I’m sorry, I’m mixing real life with fantasy.

But somewhere being unwanted and reaching a modicum of pinnacle-ness of success is happening right here in North American reality. Those are the NHL Vegas Golden Knights. The first expansion team to reach the Stanley Cup Final and proof once again that all you need to know to survive and succeed you can learn from hockey.

Ok, first things first. I said the first expansion team to the reach the final round and you keep hearing in the sports reports that they are the second. Technically, the St. Louis Blues reached the final in their inaugural year but only because in 1967 the NHL decided to make one conference out of all six expansion teams and the other one out of the existing six teams, thereby guaranteeing an expansion team a spot in the finals. Five of the six “Eastern Division” existing teams finished the season with more points than any of the six expansion “Western Division” teams and the Montreal Canadiens swept the final round in four games.

VGN

Vegas Golden Knights

Enough of history though. Back to the future when the Golden Knights will be the first expansion team to get to the Stanley Cup Final by winning their way there. With a team made up of a bunch of guys nobody wanted. When the expansion draft that stocked the Vegas team with players took place last year, each existing team was allowed to protect 10 or 12 players depending on how many offense versus defense skaters were included on the protected list and that included a goaltender. Each NHL team can dress 24 players (usually 22 skaters and 2 goaltenders) per game. So the existing teams could protect up to half of who they would put on the ice for a typical game. And Vegas could select one of the remaining “bottom half” talent.

And out of this group of players not wanted by anybody else, players who call themselves the “Golden Misfits,” skated a team who finished with the fifth most points, won the fourth most games, and scored the third most goals of any of the 31 teams in the league. And they are about to begin the fourth and final round of the Stanley Cup Tournament which this year will determine if misfits is synonymous with champion.

Moral of the story? Being picked last for dodge ball isn’t the end of the world. Don’t treat it like it is.

 

Telling Tales

Michael Leave a comment

My daughter was over for lunch yesterday. After our meal we sat out on the patio enjoying the air’s in-between storms sweetness. While we discussing the differences between curly and straight leafed parsley she brought up traits children inherit that they don’t notice until they’ve put a few years on their adulthood and that reminded me that UPS avoids left turns in their delivery routes.

Well it made perfect sense to us! That’s because of the trait she got from me. Babbling (her word). Or rambling (my word). Or perhaps story telling (the polite words I should have led off with). (Maybe)

Apparently it came up last week when she was out with a couple of her girlfriends and their conversation move to the things they do they don’t realize they do that nobody but their families understand. Mostly only their families understand. Most of their families only understand. Some of their families understand. Their families might recognize but even most of them don’t necessarily understand.

It you think about it, there is probably at least one thing you do that nobody else in the world (or at least is not common behavior in your part of the world) that you can trace to you parents or an older sibling or that great aunt who came over every Sunday for chicken and spaghetti and then stayed to watch Gomer Pyle then the Ed Sullivan Show. It might be the way you tilt your head at a weird angle when contemplating answers to a particularly difficult question.  It might be how you fold a napkin under the plate at dinner’s end. Or it could be in how you ramble.

Actually, it’s not rambling as much as always providing the back story. And its back story if necessary. After all, every story has a story and a good story teller knows the story’s story as clearly as the story. It’s what makes for storied stories. In my daughter’s case, as a copywriter and content editor, being able to tell a story is essential although she often has to temper her desire to be as thorough as she’d like. But when it comes to her personal writing, no story takes a back seat to its own story. Or back story. Even.

For me, I was often reminded to get to the point more quickly at meetings or in email exchanges but just as often I was glad I kept the thoroughness in my correspondence knowing that while others were getting calls and memos asking for more detail, my projects were being presented for approval and reports stamped “OK.” Still, I have a hard time with text messages and even Twitter’s new expanded character limit is far less than appropriate for any meaningful communication.

So, you know UPS designs its routes with as few left turns as possible. Apparently it means a tremendous savings in fuel costs. That came up the last time my daughter was over and we has just finished a killer frittata for brunch.

It made perfect sense to us.

 

Come Here Often?

Michael 3 Comments

I had a most unusual dream last night. I met a female hockey referee after a concert and we went out for the “best cup of coffee we ever had.” I was certain I would not have ever picked up a random person at a concert but since she was a hockey referee I knew she had to be a good person. I’m not sure why she was wearing her black and white stripe shirt with the red arm band but fortunately she was so I knew what I was getting into.

In my half-awake state I tried analyzing this one of so very few dreams I ever remembered. I couldn’t make any sense of it so instead I started wondering how people meet others today. Television commercials and on-line pop-up ads and promoted posts would have you believe dating services are the way to go.

Of course dating services are not new ideas. They’ve been around for most of my entire life and we all know that’s a lot of years. Match is probably the most recognized on-line service but it goes back to only 1995. Date Mate might be the earliest recognized computer assisted service but it dates to just 1965. You have to go into the 50s, 1959 actually, to find the first documented dating service when the Happy Families Planning Service matched 59 men and 59 women in a Stanford University class project.

So how did the ancients (you know, those who matched up before Sputnik) find their mates? Even some of us who connected in the age of enlightenment (or during the cold war depending on how you want to remember time) managed to do so without handing over 3 bucks to find the perfect mate. How did we ever do that?

Dating

(All Things Clipart)

That gave me the idea to post a survey asking how you connected with your spouse, significant other, life partner, person of interest, paramour, special friend, companion, steady, beau, boo, or better half. But…I don’t know how to add a survey to a post and I really don’t feel like looking it up. And a survey only lets you answer once. You might have had more than one one-and-only over your lifetime. Who am I to deny you the opportunity to remember fondly all your initial hearts aflutter moments? And no matter how many choices I could come up with I’d certainly miss something and be forced to include the dreaded “other” catchall.

So I invite you to tell me what service led you to your match. The ways I thought of might include:

  • One of the aforementioned dating services either modern online or classic computer assisted
  • A personal professional matchmaker ala Dolly Levi
  • A personal amateur matchmaker ala parents, siblings, or exceptionally nebby friends, relatives, or coworkers
  • A specific matchmaking activity ala speed dating, singles’ dance, or similar
  • Social media typically not affiliated with matchmaking (Twitter following, Facebook groups, old timey chat rooms)
  • At school (any level, from nursery school to community college adult education classes)
  • At work (while not impeding your ability to provide superior customer service, of course)
  • At church, hopefully not during actual services but perhaps after or at a social affair or sponsored activity
  • At a bar, tavern, pub, party, or other alcohol fueled social gathering
  • At a non-alcohol fueled social activity (there must be something that qualifies)
  • On vacation (That could be a non-alcoholic fueled social activity depending on your definition of holiday.)
  • At a sporting or athletic event including that Wednesday morning Tai Chi class
  • Some random meeting (I met who would become a close companion and still great friend standing in line at an ATM machine.)
  • In the produce section at the local grocery store (It’s happened in books, movies, and television shows so it must have happened sometime in real life, no?)
  • And the infamous “other”

 

How did you meet, or would like to meet, or are trying to meet your companion for all your days or a significant portion thereof? Feel free to comment away!