Category Life

You’re Doing It Wrong

Michael 2 Comments
“You’re doing it wrong” is no longer a just a great line from the underrated 1983 John Hughes scripted film Mr. Mom. It has become the tagline of some 5 bazillion e-zine “articles” and YouTube videos. You know the ones: You’re using your oven drawer wrong. You’re storing you’re spices wrong. You’re cooking your eggs wrong. These “experts” have zeroed in on kitchen activities but then food is a fairly universal topic. And to be fair, I have seen s handful of articles telling me about what other things that I am screwing up in my life. You’re washing your car wrong. You’re wearing your seatbelts wrong. You’re cutting your grass wrong. You can find contradictory “expert” opinion on how to best accomplish just about anything. But that I add milk to my eggs before dumping them into a pan because I like my scrambled eggs creamy instead of fluffy is not wrong, just different. Nor is it wrong that someone else prefers water over cream although they are more likely pandering to the YouTube crowd rather than the “that’s a darn good tasting breakfast” crowd. (Please no nasty comments. The world is divided enough.)
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Most activities have multiple means to reach their ends and how you get there is your choice depending on how you prefer to make the trip. None of these articles is wrong on how they present a way to do something. If that were so I’d have titled this “You’re Writing Those ‘You’re Doing It Wrong’ Articles Wrong.” If you are of a like mind with the person who wants to use water in scrambled eggs go right ahead. I’ll still splash some cow juice in mine and not feel at all slighted. But there is one expert process I can’t say presents a viable alternative to how I’ve been doing it for years. That is washing dishes. 
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If you are of an a certain age, one that I passed an age ago, you’ll recall the days when there was but one way to wash dishes. Fill a basin with soap and water, grab a dish cloth, and commence wiping. There might once have been an alternate method but mothers put their collective feet down when they noticed the young’uns headed for the stream to pound the dishes against the rocks while doing the table linens in an early effort to multitask. Otherwise it was soap, water, and elbow grease and not terribly much of the third until you got to the pots and pans.
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I saw the headline, “You’ve been washing your dishes wrong,” and the teaser, “Read this before you wash another dish by hand.” Being the well trained lackey who still routinely washes dishes by hand of course I did just that and read this (er, that) before I did another. What I read changed the way I think about hand washing forever. It won’t change how I do it but I’ll think about it now each time I plunge a scrunge into soapy water.
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Apparently the faux pas is not of the order. It’s still glassware, table ware, serving utensils, eating vessels (plates etc.), cooking utensils, cooking vessels. (Whew!) Nor was it a definitive decision regarding the always controversial “bath v shower” methods of water used. (Double whew!) It was not even if you are better served with grease fighting detergents or scouring pads. No, the way those of us who are still washing our dishes by hand are washing our dishes wrong is that we are still washing our dishes by hand. (Read it a couple of times. It’s a legitimate sentence, really.) (I think.)
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WaterHeaterThe “experts” claim to properly sanitize dishware the wash temperature must be a minimum of 140°F (60°C). Actually that’s not right. “Sanitizing” or the eradication of common kitchen pathogens doesn’t happen until 175°. That’s why modern dishwasher rinse cycles are set to heat the water internally to 180°. Anything less is just “cleaning.” However there are some pathogens killed at 140° so that temperature could be partial sterilization. Most domestic water heaters are capable of heating water to 140°. Why isn’t this good enough for hand washing and get at least part off them sanitized?
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Just how hot is 140° anyway? If you’ve even been in a hot tub or sauna you’ve been in 100° water. (I used to keep mine set to 101° but that was because I liked the way the digital readout looked.) That morning hot shower is around 105°F. An electric blanket maxes out at 115° and a heating pad typically eases your sore muscles with 130-135° heat. Temperatures higher than that aren’t so well tolerated. That 140° we want to wash out dishes in will burn your skin in seconds. Third degree burn. In single digit seconds. Six seconds to be accurate. That is why even though water heaters can heat water to 140° they shouldn’t. The recommend maximum temperature for domestic hot water is 120°F (49°C). At 120° you would suffer those burns after exposing your skin for 5 minutes.  (Don’t think you can split the difference and set that heater for 130°. Third degree burns will happen at 30 seconds of continuous exposure to 130° water.
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That would seem to validate the claim that handwashing is a somewhat futile exercise. Or is it? If you’re goal is complete sanitizing before you set those plates back on the table at the next meal it is indeed futile although no more futile washing in 140° water. And is there really such a thing as more or less futile? Futile is futile, right.
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On the other hand, if you are happy with just for clean like we were so many ages ago, go ahead and use the sink. Trust me. You won’t be doing it wrong.
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Who’s Calling Please

Michael 2 Comments
Happy Veterans Day. I would have come on sooner with that but there is no death of greetings for veterans in early November. Everybody wants to thank somebody for his or her service. Personally as a veteran myself I’d rather we also be remembered in February or June or whenever I’m struggling across the supermarket parking lot with a cartful than everybody figuring they’ve done their duty for those who did their duty by offering an extra 11% off (with valid ID) on the second Monday of November.
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What I really want to write about today is a new twist on an old scam that is making its way around the globe thanks to our reluctance as a society you to reconsider using real money now and then. But before we get to that I want to mention two other things I read in the past week that tie these pieces together like a granny knot that’s been caught in the rain over a 3 day weekend.
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In a recent “letter to the editor” in a national magazine in response to an article on phone scams, the writer seemed quite proud that he never answers his phone without knowing who is on the other end. If it’s important they’ll leave a message. On land line phones this is aided by the use of real Caller ID assuming the caller and the ID actually match (stay tuned). Anybody with a cell phone, which is just about the same as saying everybody in the the known world and probably most of the unknown other worlds  know there is no such thing as real Caller ID on a cell phone. Rather we only “know” who is calling if the caller is in our personal contacts list. Why on a system where you can send text and data, transfer money, and even make video calls can no one figure out how to identify who is on the other end of that signal? Well for whatever reason, the writer does not answer a call unless he can identify the caller and encourages everybody else to do the same.
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In another issue of that same magazine there appeared an article on how to avoid fraudulent phone calls. It was actually subtitled “How to detect and defeat the latest phone fraud.” In my opinion that was a little fraudulent. The article explained how with currently available low priced and even free apps anybody can alter their phone number to make it appear to the reciever as any number the caller chooses, even the receiver’s number. This is called “spoofing.” Their recommendation for “defeating” this fraudulent practice is to assume no number you see on your screen is the actual number of the caller. I’m not sure who just got defeated but yeah, sure, that will show them a thing or two!
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Now, let’s put those two thoughts together. The user says to not answer any call from any number you don’t recognize. If it is important they will leave a message. The expert says to assume every call is from an unidentified source and a potential scam, even if you recognize the number. Ergo, nobody answer any call! Instead, check your voicemail each time the phone rings. If it was important, there will be a message. If it is a voice you recognize and can identify, you can call him or her back but knowing that person will likewise screen all calls, expect to leave a message which may or may not be listened to. It is very possible this can instigate a world record attempt at the longest game of phone tag but nobody will ever know because nobody will take the call from the Guiness people because nobody knows their number nor for sure if they are them.
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imagesSo where was all this going? Oh yes, the new scam. But first, a question. Do you have a Zelle account? A more pertinent question, do you know if you have a Zelle account? Zelle is a money transfer system used by almost every bank in the U.S. Interestingly, if you have installed your bank’s mobile app on your phone you almost certainly have a Zelle account whether or not you know it or want it. It’s just waiting to be activated. And there is the next biggest scam we’ll not hear about until some Senator’s son is duped into losing his allowance.
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The scammer using an already available low priced or even free app calls you after having spoofed your bank’s phone number. You answer because you recognize that number and you are told it is the bank fraud department calling because they noticed unusual activity on your account. Don’t, they say, give them your account login or password, just confirm if these were your charges and rattle off a couple obvious non-purchases. Of course they aren’t yours and you say so. Good, they say, they can take care of this. You are told to open the bank app, again reminded to not give them your login or password. Once you have the app open they will text you a verification code to enter on the login page. At that point they begin to change your user ID and password, open the Zelle account and transfer your balance to a disposable phone which is then discarded as soon as they re-transfer your money to their account. Because you entered the code on your own device, the bank does not act on it as being potential fraud. They will email or text you a notice that your user ID and/or password had been changed. You may not even get that notice if the scammers took the extra time to change your contact information. Even if they did not, Zelle transfers happen so quickly, by the time you would contact your back to inform them that you did not change your user ID and/or password it will be too late.
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Moral of the story. Check your accounts and even if you never asked for it, see if you were enrolled in Zelle, and anything else, “automatically for your convenience.” If you are planning to use it, set it up yourself then lock it.  If you aren’t going to be using it, ask if it can be removed from your service package or at least locked from being activated.
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And maybe make a note of the Guiness record people’s phone number and start screening your calls. Just in case.
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Orange is the New Gold

Michael Leave a comment
Sunday November 3 was the coldest Sunday since spring had sprung some 7 months earlier. And what was I getting ready for at 6:30 that morning? I was going for a walk, a Kidney Walk at of all places, the Pittsburgh Zoo.
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This particular Sunday stroll was in support of the National Kidney Foundation, and organization in support of kidney disease education, treatment, and support. Like so many other disease focused organizations, money raised by the NKF goes to research for treatment and to find a cure for kidney disease. But it also provides direct assistance to those suffering the disease right now by assisting patients, families, and caregivers through resources including health checks and screenings, drug discount programs, and peer support made possible by fundraising activities.
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Since I had begun chronic dialysis 3 years ago I recieved helped from the National Kidney Foundation but was never able to show my support for the organization. For the first time since my diagnosis my entire immediate family was able to register for the walk. The Kidney Walk does not carry an “entrance fee” nor a “suggested donation.” Your entry fee is your willingness to show support. Your donation is what you want to give or can raise from friends and family to support your personal cause. This year 2300 Pittsburgh walkers raised over $255,000 for those causes and I’m happy to report that my family was responsible for one of those thousands. Walkers included kidney transplant recipients, kidney donors, dialysis patients, care providers, and those many friends and family members on foot, in wheelchairs and strollers, with the help of canes and walkers, and even physically carried by others.
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Unlike many others walking I was diagnosed without any of the classic risk factors or warning signs. The major risk factors for kidney disease are high blood pressure and diabetes; family history and obesity are also major contributors to that risk. Some of the common early warning signs include nausea and vomiting, irregular heartbeats, pain in the lower back, and shortness of breath. I had and still have none of those. My kidney disease is caused by complications from an autoimmune disease and was revealed through routine lab studies at regular checkups. Like many walkers I doubted I would ever find myself relying on dialysis for life or undergoing a kidney transplant. And most unfortunately like many other walkers I found myself both of those. Most fortunately though, my disease was discovered and I was able to join in the walk.
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Orange was the color of the day at the zoo. Although kidney disease awareness is typically represented by a green ribbon, the National Kidney Foundation has adopted orange and black as the organization colors. Orange shirts, hoodies, caps, backpacks, and even baby strollers marched on a three mile trek among the animals at the Pittsburgh Zoo to bring awareness to chronic kidney disease, a disease that affects nearly 40 million American adults with another 200,000 diagnosed each year.  Over 800,000 of those patient are in end stage renal failure requiring dialysis or a kidney transplant.
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To us it doesn’t matter what color was worn. The money raised is the gold at the end of the rainbow. 
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A Mean Trick

Michael 2 Comments
Yesterday it took over local social media, legitimate news reports, even grocery store check out lines. Are they postponing Halloween? That’s right, postponing Halloween. We’ve screwed around, pushed around, and rewritten every other holiday, so why not this one. Why? It’s supposed to rain today. Not remnants from a hurricane which we’ve had on past Halloweens. Not a threat of a tornado which we’ve had on past Halloweens. Not a forecast for as much as a foot of snow which we’ve had on past Halloween. Rain. Just rain. 
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Personally I think the cry for postponement of Halloween (I can’t believe I’m even writing those words) is because it’s Thursday. The requests for postponement (sheesh) are to Saturday when the weather is predicted to be clear but some 25 degrees colder than today with evening temperatures in the 30s rather than say Friday when it will be clear and then temperature closer to 50. If everyone is so concerned about giving the kids a more comfortable night top Trick ot Treat, Friday would be the way, or the day, to go.
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I think those people wanting a Halloween Rain Delay (sigh) aren’t looking forward to coming home from work to the kids already in costume, fidgeting around the dinner table, rushing through their own meal, and then having to drag themselves out in the rain instead of resting with the traditional after work adult beverage.
20191031_133600Without playing “Remember the Good Old Days” I remember Trick or Tearing in ponchos and rain boots or snow suits and galoshes more years than not. Even my  not-yet-thirty year old daughter took the opportunity to take her turn on the Remember When Machine and remind me of the year she went out in pursuit of a bagful of candy through snow drifts taller than she was. (I remembered that year. 1993. She was 4 and dressed up like a clown before clowns were too scary to be for Halloween. I held her above most of that snow on her candy trek.)
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Whoever led the charge got their way. Yesterday evening around 7 I recieved the automated call from our Chief of Police announcing Halloween (or more accurately Trick or Treating) had been rescheduled to Saturday.
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I think in a few weeks I might start a campaign to ask for the New Year holiday to be shifted to April when the threat of ice, snow, and sub-zero temperatures has passed. Probably not. New Year’s Eve on a Monday this year. We wouldn’t want to mess around with a four day weekend that didn’t take an act of Congress.
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Oh, in case your wondering, it reads raining earlier but right now it’s clear and sunny and 69°. I think I want an adult beverage now.
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Corn Sweet Corn

Michael 8 Comments
Darn that pumpkin spice craze. The real flavor darling of the season rightfully should be Candy Corn. You read that right – Candy Corn. Capitalized Candy Corn because it is something special.
 
Candy Corn is not only the perfect candy dish filler but it is also a perfect food and a superfood all in one. It’s a perfect food in that it contains the four basic food groups – water, sugar, corn syrup, and artificial colors and flavors. It’s a superfood because it is fat free, low calorie (compared to a bag of chocolate bars), and tastes better that kale. And Candy Corn has it’s own day that isn’t even Halloween orThanksgiving. Take that, kale!
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Candy Corn has been around for a long time, and contrary to some thinking, it isn’t the same corn every year you see in the stores. You would be confusing Candy Corn with fruit cake. Candy Corn first hit the confectioners’ shelves in the 1880s. It wasn’t until after World War II that it become really popular but like all things genius, Candy Corn took a while a catch on.
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As far as candy goes, Candy Corn is a healthy snack. Umm, healthier snack. Each serving, officially 15 pieces or one generous handful, is fat and cholesterol free, low sodium, and contains 22 grams of sugar and only 110 calories. Unlike real corn it is also fiber free so they’ll be no uncomfortable bloating if you should go wild and eat an entire bag in one sitting. Not unheard of, let me tell you!
 
Thirty-five millions pounds of Candy Corn are made each year. That’s nine billion (9,000,000,000) kernels. Give or take a few. Candy Corn sales will bring in $340 million this year! That’s not chicken feed, which incidentally was Candy Corn’s original name. Those numbers are just the commercial production. Candy Corn is easy to make at home with recipes abounding on the internet even from the likes of celebrity chef Alton Brown, no fancy molds required. 
 
You still have a couple days to get ready for the biggest fall holiday, October 30, National Candy Corn Day! Whether you make your own or buy a bag, celebrate responsibly this year with Candy Corn!
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Seeing Isn’t Believing

Michael Leave a comment
It’s been a busy past couple of weeks. What days haven’t been spent at doctor appointments have been spent at dialysis,  then last Friday I made an unplanned trip to the outpatient surgery unit to have my fistula opened. Something I’ve taken note of on all these trips is how the view has changed on the same roads since the beginning of this month.
 
Thanks to the miracle of arbochemistry, and my decision to take residence along the hills and mountains of Western Pennsylvania, I’ve been treated to the increasingly colorful forests that can be seen from almost any road between here and there in the area. 
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Of course you do know that those oranges and reds that we wait for each fall are always in the leaves. We can’t see them in July because there is so much chlorophyll in the leaves that only its green is visible. As the air cools and the light fades less chlorophyll is produced, the camouflage is lifted, and those vibrant fiery colors come out of hiding. Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean those colors weren’t there last month. Don’t believe me? Ask your favorite tree.
 
Leaves aren’t there only things that hide all their colors. Across America Election Day is fast approaching. “Off year elections” it’s called. Some states are fortunate enough to have Governor or state house and row office elections this year. In a couple weeks here in Pennsylvania, like many states, all we will have to vote for are county, school district, and municipal offices. 
 
I haven’t seen one ad, recieved one post card, or heard one news story for any local office even though local government is the one that most closely touches people’s lives. But everywhere campaigning abounds. Just not for this year. There are all kinds of news about what’s coming up in a year and a couple weeks. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing though. As the campaign seasons change, support becomes cooler, and somebodies’ dreams fade, their veneer will be replaced by what was always there, just hidden from view by large quantities of camouflage. It could turn out to be quite fiery. How vibrant may be a different story.
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Just the Facts Ma’am

Michael 3 Comments
Welcome to Columbus Day 2019! The holiday everyone loves to hate!!! Personally I’m not thrilled with any holiday outside of Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, and the Fourth of July. All the others are just excuses for anybody who works for the government to get an extra day off.
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Columbus Day is also the holiday everyone loves to demonstrate their knowledge of “the facts.”
  • Christopher Columbus didn’t discover America, Amerigo Vespucci discovered it, that’s why we call it America.
  • Christopher Columbus didn’t discover America, Leif Erikson discovered it 500 years before either of those Europeans.
  • Nobody discovered America, there were already people living here!
  • Columbus was a criminal, slave trader, tyrant, and probably didn’t like dogs.
All sort of true (except maybe about the dogs) and all sort of not true, or at least inaccurate. If you’re looking for who actually first landed on the American mainland, whether North, South, or Central, that probably was John Cabot (surprise!) who landed in modern Canada in 1497. Columbus didn’t reach the South American mainland until his third voyage in 1499, and Vespucci landed in South America in 1500. Although the Vikings were known to have reached what is now Greenland as early as before 1100 their presence on mainland America has not been clearly documented before the 16th century. Columbus’s crimes are well-documented, but in 15th century Europe everybody who ran afoul of royalty would be accused and convicted of something, many of those some things quite routine for the rest of the populace.
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20191014_152221The “fact” most people seem to get the most mileage from is that Columbus could not have discovered America because there were already people living here. Again true, there were people living here, but then not true because that’s not what a discovery is. That would be like saying Neil Armstrong discovered the Moon because when he landed on it there were no people there. Of course the discovery of the Moon happened hundreds of thousands of years ago when the first eyes looked to the sky one night and saw a a big round, bright object. It isn’t whether people were here or not, it was a discovery for the Europeans because they did not know that this “it” was here. That discovery led to greatest period of trade and colonization that the world had seen yet or since.
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But of all the facts, suppositions, non facts, and inaccuracies, the one of most importance today is this – you can stop wondering when the mail is going to come.
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Plan, Check, Do

Michael 2 Comments
  In the very nearly eight years that I’ve been sharing my sometimes questionable mind with you I’ve rarely brought up religion. Maybe a half-dozen times and then probably just at Christmas or Easter not that I’m only Christmas or Easter religious, but it’s not a topic I often speak or write about. Today there seems no escaping it, not that it needs escaped from of course.
   Unless you live in a world devoid of internet access and by virtue of you reading this we know that’s not true, or unless you have been out of the country this week and even then you probably still reached back with that internet access that we know you have, you’ve gotten to read about the newest controversy, that is how dare Ellen DeGeneres sit next to President George W. Bush and at a baseball game, a social event even, of all places.
   If you should happen to be scrolling through the archives here you know we’re approaching the one-year anniversary of the mass murders at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, the deadliest such event at any religious setting.
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   I’m sure you’re now asking yourself what do these two events have to do with each other? Less than a year ago people were posting all over social media how we have to love one another, respect one another, live in harmony with each other. In the past few days some of those same people had commented how could someone like Ellen socialize with someone like George W. knowing his past and their differences? And they did it with less than loving, respectful, or harmonious words. Ellen’s initial response to the comments that you don’t have to agree with someone to like him or her or even to be civil to that person or group of people was met with even more outrage. And then a post or two later whether on Twitter or Facebook or in the comments section to a news article, those same people we’re counting the ways they were going to commemorate the Tree of Life tragedy with love and respect, and in the spirit that we are all the same and belong together.
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   It takes so much more than words whether spoken, printed, or typed and sent into the interwebs. It’s the action that matters. No matter if you are agreeing, disagreeing, clarifying, or condemning, some true action is needed if you’re expecting change. Or even love and respect.
   I probably would have just read all of the posts, become frustrated at the consistent contradictory reactions of people, then had a second cup of coffee and let it be forgotten before the day’s end. But then that’s where religion snuck in. It was right there in front of me in today’s Gospel, “…ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be open to you.” (Luke 11:9) These three are interconnected, not independent. It doesn’t stop at ask.
   If you’re having trouble thinking theologically, consider the business maxim, “plan, check, do.” Ask is step one, it’s the plan. What do we want? Do we want to live in harmony? Do we want to punish somebody for past offenses? Do we want to love our neighbor? The second step you seek, or checking the plan. How do we get what we want? How much do we need to be happy? How severe should the punishment be? Can we get away with just liking our neighbor? And then you have to act on it. You have to knock on the door and announce how you will do your plan. Sometimes that plan means you have to change, you have to be more in tune with others, you have to love more. It’s not always going to be the other person who has to adjust to be in harmony with you. In fact, more often than not the one doing the work will be you.
   So whether it’s being civil to someone, loving your neighbor, or rethinking past times when you’ve been less than those, now is probably a good time to plan, check, and do.
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Paradise Squashed

Michael 2 Comments

We are deep into the throes of PSL season although as previous rants of mine have shown, pumpkin flavoring goes far beyond latte, this year including potato chips. But I must admit, even though I detest almost everything else pumpkin, baked goods – pie, bread, rolls, cookies – made with real pumpkin is food heaven. But anybody who has made anything out of real pumpkin starting with that round, orange vegetable perched on the kitchen counter waiting to be dispatched by your biggest and strongest knife will tell you making those tasty tidbits is food hell! Thus the popularity of canned pumpkin. Well now, who else saw the breaking news earlier this week? Those cans touting 100% real pumpkin within typically contain 0% real pumpkin. Yes, canned pumpkin is not.

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Americans should be used to foods not being what they seem to be. Euphemisms abound in the grocery store. Pigs become pork, cows are turned into beef, and I don’t even want to think about capon. The vegetable world makes soy beans tofu and wants to rename every chili when sold dried versus fresh. Maybe that’s where it all started, with those chili peppers we know weren’t called peppers until Chris Columbus and his crews landed in the Caribbean and called everything pepper.

The mysterious case of the missing pumpkin in canned pumpkin is kind of like Columbus and his peppers. It’s not simply a matter of masking the fact that those roosters were crowing soprano before they became a five star restaurant entree. It really is something else in that can but we’ve spent 200 years calling it pumpkin so there will be no stopping now.

The mystery substance is no mystery at all. According to Emma Crist of MyRecipes, that orange stuff “is made from a variety of winter squash (think butternut, Golden Delicious, Hubbard, and more). Libby’s, the brand that produces about 85% of the country’s canned “pumpkin” filling, has actually developed a certain variety of squash that they grow, package, and distribute to supermarkets” and because the FDA won’t quibble over what variety of squash is used “it’s perfectly legal to label a food product as ‘pumpkin’ when, in reality, it’s made from a different variety of squash.”

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To clear that up, in a 1988 compliance guide the FDA states, “Since l938, we have consistently advised canners that we would not initiate regulatory action solely because of their using the designation “pumpkin” or “canned pumpkin” on labels for articles prepared from golden-fleshed, sweet squash, or mixtures of such squash with field pumpkins. The policy itself begins “In the labeling of articles prepared from golden-fleshed, sweet squash or mixtures of such squash and field pumpkin, we will consider the designation “pumpkin” to be in essential compliance with the “common or usual name” requirements.”

So there you have it. My only pumpkin refuge in a sea of pumpkin spiced latte is actually butternut squash pie. Oh well. Pass the whipped cream please. Umm, I mean the water, hydrogenated vegetable oil (including coconut and palm kernel oils), high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, skim milk, light cream (less than 2%), sodium caseinate, and natural and artificial flavor.

 

Black and White

Michael Leave a comment

Do you remember “White Sales?” I might need to address that to the over 50 crowd only. Over 60? For the under 30 crowd, no, that’s not a racial thing. Go find an old person for clarification. Well, White Sales popped into my brain just yesterday when my tablet went black. How do I know why? It just did. I gave up long ago trying to figure out my brain. It was giving me headaches. But there I was with a black screen on my tablet and White Sales on my brain. And they say it’s not a black and white world!

Fast forward to this morning when I stepped out of the shower and pulled a black bath towel off the bar and again thought, “White Sale!” But my thought didn’t stop there, oh no. It continued, “I need to start looking for a new tablet.” By now everybody either knows from experience or determined through careful inquiring and/or slapdash Googling that White Sales and tablets do not go together. Again, I’ve given up on brain figuring.

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The interesting thing about White Sales, at least the last ones I remembering patronizing, is (was?) the lack of white linens. Just now I had to get up and check my closet to see if I even have any myself. I indeed have a set of white towels and white sheets although I don’t remember the last time either was out of the linen closet. It was probably when I moved and they made the trip from one closet to another. Neither set has been in the regular rotation for, well for years. Considering I actually had to go looking for them should tell you it’s been lots of years. It probably also tells you I don’t clean out my closets as often as I should but that’s a post for a different day.

The interesting thing about my tablet is it might be as old as those white sheets. For a piece of portable electronics it’s held up remarkably well. It gets a lot of use. I’d say constant use but there are a few hours each day that I can say I don’t have it in my hand. I know I had it for several years before I moved and I moved 4 years ago. It’s so old that when I read an e-book on it I have to wet my finger to turn the page. Well maybe not, but it is quite old. It has an old operating system, limited RAM, and if it wasn’t for the Micro SD Card it would have almost no memory. But I like it. I like the size, the screen quality (when it’s not all black), the battery use, even it’s case. I know I’ll never find another one that will last however long this one has been with me. Seven years? Ten years? And I am certain one today will probably cost twice as such and last half as long.

I need a sale!

With luck I can hold out until Black Friday. Electronics are always on sale during the Black Friday Weekend. And if I can’t find one then maybe I can make it until January. After all, that’s the traditional month for White Sales.

And they say it’s not a black and white world!