[If you are reading this in your email, especially on a mobile device, the formatting may be a little wonky. It might be better in the browser. Just saying.]
Pull up a chair and don’t go anywhere. This is going to be short and sweet and I would hate for you to miss it. Short short – few words, lots of pictures. Well… three at least, maybe 4.
So now, today is August 26. We’re barely back in school, Labor Day is still 11 days away, Grandparents Day is the following Sunday, and then on October 11 we celebrate what we used to be content to call Columbus Day but now the name changes depending on who the Twitterati feel like honoring that year. The point is, there are three holidays between now and the annual fall excuse for pretend adults to get drunk while the kiddies OD on snack size chocolate bars, but those bars have been out along with décor, decorations, and orange and black barware.
You will notice the date on this actual screen shot is July 13 when there had already been enough ads released to do a comparison to find the best sales for this Halloween
Well, we’re used to Halloween candy hitting the grocery store shelves as soon as the Easter candy is put on clearance so that’s not so shocking. How about this one.
It happens every year, earlier and earlier, those dreaded three little words: Welcome back, pumpkin. Yes, it’s here and yes, that is the actual date and time it was on my scream, I mean screen.
Okay, I did say, it happens every year, so what’s to get excited about over a little pumpkin. How about a little turkey, as in Thanksgiving turkey as in…
… or should I have said as in Black Friday Eve turkey. Yes, Black Friday news is out. If you can’t read that posting date I’ll tell you it says
Thursday,19th August 2021 at 11:24am.
[Sigh]
So what else could there be on this the 26th of August, surely not, no, it can’t be. That’s four months! Is it possible?
Oh yeah, baby, it’s possible. How did I start? We’re barely back in school, Labor Day is still 11 days away.
That’s all I got. You can go now. But then, what’s your rush?
Fred Rogers knew about special days. He closed each episode of his Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood television show with “You’ve made this day a special day, by just your being you. There’s no person in the whole world like you, and I like you just the way you are.” There was no question that he meant it and that every day was special to him. In a 2019 Los Angeles Times interview, his widow Joanne said, “People invariably say, ‘Well, I can’t do that, but I sure do admire him. I would love to do it.’ Well, you can do it. I’m convinced there are lots of Fred Rogerses out there.” Fred Rogers made everyone feel special because he genuinely cared for people and was not afraid to express it.
Have you ever tried to grow a tree from an avocado pit? Let me rephrase that, have you never tried to grow a tree from an avocado pit? I think that’s required in “Things to do in your first adult kitchen 101.” I tried and sort of even succeeded. Sort of. For a while I had an actual tree. It stood about 5 feet tall but was only as big around as a school pencil. Unfortunately, not quite as sturdy. My latest experiment was “let’s grow a pineapple plant from the crown of one.” (The things we did while locked in.) A year later I have not just one, but two. I wonder if this is how Dole got started.
Are there any grandfather clock aficionado out there? I have a contemporary long case that has travelled with me now through three homes and resided in multiple places at each. The years have been kinder to the case than the movement. It is still in great shape, shapewise, but it runs late. Not slow. Late. It keeps a 60 minute hour today as good as the day it was uncrated but little by little it has developed its unique peculiarity of chiming the hour late. We’re now up to 5 minutes late. It’s not unusual for a guest when hearing the chime to comment, “Oh it’s x o’clock, no wait, I have 5 after. Your clock is slow,” and I respond, “No, it’s not slow, it’s late.” It has taken 20 years for the chime to be out of sync by 5 minutes. (Out of synch?) An optimist would note that in another 220 years, it will work its way around and be right on time.
Try to picture this in your mind. Vaccines do not create a force field around you. This is not like in Star Trek. “Shields up, Mr. Sulu.” Even if it was, when do you ever see an episode when the shields weren’t breached, at least even a little bit? “I’m givin’ ‘em all wee got Cap’n, but I doona know how long thar’ll hold!” No, the vaccines are more like the incessant hum of a poorly grounded fluorescent light. You (or in this case the virus) goes into the room, plans on getting comfortable, switches on the light, and after hanging out for as long as you can take, you are driven out screaming, half crazed by the sensory assault. Before you went in the room you thought you found you happy spot. So you go on in but when you turn on the light, the room responds by making it so unlivable you are driven out.
Vaccines work like those lights. They can’t keep the virus from entering you. Viruses are out there hanging around, looking for a happy place to settle in. They see those big nostril openings and buzz on in. (Note: make sure masks cover noses.) Their presence trips the sensor that turns on the immune system which drives the little buggers out. So you see, the vaccine doesn’t keep you from getting the virus. It keeps you from getting sick from the virus. That explains why 99+% of the people in the US now sick and dying from COVID are unvaccinated. And that also explains why a vaccinated individual can test positive for COVID when they swab the inside of the nasal passages.
Now, here is something un-ranty. (Un-rantish?) (Un-rantlike?) August is Vaccine Awareness Month. It was founded by National Public Health Information Coalition nearly 10 years ago so it’s not something new just to trick you into getting the COVID vaccine. Remember my older posts. The first vaccine was developed in 1784. This is not new science. Do you part. Go get your vaccines. Already did? Wear a mask!
“Service” is defined as the action of helping or doing work for someone. Merriam Webster goes a step further and adds “a helpful act.” We would argue that in none of the above examples was help or work done. Others may say work was done. It just wasn’t especially helpful, and the definition does not specify the act of helping and doing, merely helping or doing. If I was running a motivational speaking service and presenting this as an argument for how to tell the truth and nothing but the truth yet far from the whole truth, I would cleverly label that as qualified honesty.
I thought of all this last week when my daughter asked me if I’d like a stand to hold my herb pots in the kitchen, she found one on the curb. My first thought was “damn I’m glad that apple didn’t fall far from its tree.” My second thought was to run right over there and get it.
Is it just the email clients I use, and there are 4 of them (the laptop, desktop, tablet, and phone all use different applications to access my email), or does everybody have multiple junk and spam folders to hold undesirable dispatches? Mine has Junk, Junk, Spam, sometimes Spambox, and sometimes Junk Mail, and always at least three of them. How do they decide? And who are they anyway?
But do you want to know what really annoys me about all this? Spam. It’s rendered SPAM as an undesirable. SPAM as in Special Processed American Meat by the Hormel Corporation. Since 1937, SPAM has had its haters too but more lovers for sure. By the way, SPAM does not stand for Special Processed American Meat. That was a sobriquet given it during WWII by non-American troops treated to the canned delicacy. SPAM is actually a portmanteau of Spiced Ham although it is available in a variety of flavors, even (ugh) pumpkin spice.
It’s a good thing there aren’t any filters in the canned meat section of the supermarket. If there were, we’d be reduced to eating . . .
The Real Reality Show Blog 