Category Humor

Undressed for Success

Michael 14 Comments

Okay guys, buckle up.  This is one if those posts. I know some if you will, “just don’t look,” but I’ll say, “then don’t go out in public like that.” The public was a doctors’ office waiting room. Yes, that’s doctors plural. One of those places with 45 different physicians with 45 different sub-specialties. So there are usually a couple dozen patients, some with the entourages, filling up the chairs placed with about as much attention to spatial management as the average airport gate area.

The”who” who couldn’t be overlooked was a 50-60ish woman about as skinny as a dining room table leg. Seriously thin. But of above average height. I would say about 5’10” – 5’11” and she carried about 20 pounds. I’ve seen sacks of potatoes heavier and dowel rods chunkier. Some how, she managed to find clothes tight enough to look painted on those legs that could be the literal “pins” as slang for women’s legs going back to the 1500s. Capri style naturally. But that wasn’t the eye catching portion of her body. At least it was t the part that caught my eye.

She walked in – no, she wobbled in on strappy sandals, the type you might find cruising the runway if your local fashion shoe, except they sported a 4 inch platform adding to her obvious natural height. But we still haven’t gotten to the eye catching part.

Stuffed into those sandals (and I’m not sure how you “stuff” something into somewhere that is built mostly of leather straps, but stuffed they wear) were foot so long the entire length of all 10of her toes extended beyond the front edge of the footwear. Made more noticeable by the lime green nail polish.

In 99.7% of my interactions with other humans, including the just see and be seen variety, I am a live and let live, you do you, whatever floats your boat, play it as you like it. Every now and then comes the other 0.3%. And she was it.

I am the first to admit, even before other people see me, that I a, not a fashion plate of the male variety. There were, are, and never will be pin-up pictures of me gracing the insides of women’s lockers, and I dress a tad more conservatively for the 21st century than the average male. But I do dress, and I cover all my parts, including the parts that don’t comfortably fit within the confines of clothing, sometimes even breaking down and being a larger size of said clothing if the current occupants of my closet are not up to the challenge. Is that too much to ask for of my fellow planet sharers.

I think you for the chance to get that off my chest. If you’ll excuse me, I must now write apology letters to all those when saw me at dinner last Saturday wearing a half-Windsor knotted tie when a Kelvin was definitely the least acceptable.

The things people do

Michael 11 Comments

People watching should be an official event. I’m not sure if it should be a sport or a game or an unstructured pastime, but it needs to be something. I was convinced of this when we went out to lunch yesterday. The entire restaurant was in people watching mode, and personally, I can’t think of a better way to pass the time.

Nobody doesn’t mind their own business but somehow, it works. From the moment we walked in the restaurant we heard it (and we knew we were among our people). Murmurs of, “Such cute sandals!” “Look at that skirt, the one with the print!” “I want those earrings!” (Nobody said anything about my tie. Bummer.) After we were seated, we were able to join in. “Look, is that the crab cake or the crab cake salad?” “I don’t know but I’m definitely getting that for dessert…The one over there.” “I don’t see that on the menu, be sure to ask if it’s one of today’s specials.”

The best part of people watching in a restaurant is that people are constantly coming and going, so there are always new things to ooh and aah over. And unlike just a few years ago, it’s all open and above board. Nobody is sneaking around anymore trying to catch a glimpse of how the filet is served. If you can’t tell, you just lean over and ask your table neighbors.

Yes, the restaurant is THE place to people watch.

I’m a people watcher from way back. Back in the day we had to hide our watching or at least be minimally circumspect of who we were watching. Bars were always a good place because you can blame the 1,000 mile stare when you can’t believe someone would come out in public like that by blaming it on being over-served. Pools were reasonable people spotting spots mostly because anybody who went to one was planning on being watched anyway. Of course, they were also sort of the classic double-edged sword. People didn’t mind being watched, but they never did anything worth watching. Yes, for sheer volume of sights, bars were the place to be. Not late night. After work happy hour was the best time.

That was then though. This is now, and now the place is a restaurant, a little crowded, preferably mostly filled with people who don’t get out much. (You know. My people.) And for maximum participation, wear the dangling earrings and order the special.

Poor me. Alas, I knew me well

Michael 8 Comments

The great comedian, song and dance man, and Gracie’s husband, George Burns said, “I wake up every morning and I read the obituaries. If my name isn’t in there, I eat breakfast.” Somewhere around 517 other lesser stage dwellers have also uttered those lines. I too read the obituaries every morning but I like breakfast, it’s my favorite morning meal, so I am sure to read them after breakfast so if I am there, I won’t miss my eggs that day. Imagine my surprise when last week I found me there. Hold that thought, we’ll be back in a moment.

Checking the obituaries is not a morbid pastime. In addition to seeing if there might be a name I recognize, it is also a way of centering oneself to the day, and to remind oneself of the true importance of the day. One thing all those people in all those little notices have in common is that they won’t have today. It is a great honor to be able to be the recipient of another day. It is why every morning the first t thought I verbalize is, “Thank you God for another day. Help me become the person you want me to be today.”

With all that said, you can imagine my surprise when I say my name in last Thursday’s list of those who will not be aging another day this year. It’s a fairly common name but it’s still a shock to see it in writing, unless it’s in the sections devoted to lottery winners or unexpected awardees of a major endowments. What really sent. my heart aflutter, the age was right. I seriously began to regret that morning’s breast was a simple sausage and egg sandwich on a muffin with fresh berries in yogurt and not something more fitting for a last meal. Eventually I calmed down long enough to notice the middle initial was different from mine. Whew! That was close.

It solidified in my the long held contention to approach each day expecting the unexpected. We broached that subject yesterday at the ROAMcare Uplift post Up Down Round and Round, only we didn’t compare life to the obituary column.  Use used an amusement park instead. I think it turned out pretty well. Check it out and see if you agree.

Waiting for Summer

Michael 10 Comments

I can really not wait for summer. I had to run out yesterday. Afternoon. The warmest part of the day it was snowing!  I want a day at 72° sunny warmth. It’s not that I don’t appreciate Spring and the necessary rains that lead to burgeoning blossoms, or the cool nights and warm days that get the maple sap flowing that eventually finds its way atop my breakfast pancakes.

We are clearly in the early throes of global destruction. Before you know it, we’ll all be standing around in prehistoric looking rock lined canyons while pelting rain, roaring thunder, and brilliant flashes of lightning become the new white noise that is, or will be, the backdrop to our soon to be extinguished existence(s).

As an aside (you who watch science fiction will understand this), have you ever noticed how when our future space explorers land on a far out there planet, with more intelligent life than we have here, the planets all look like unused sets from Jurassic Park and the intelligent life has tails. But I digress…

How much longer will we have to wait for real warm weather? Up here. Not down along the Gulf of Mexico. Oddly enough, for as ancient as I am, and as many trips as I’ve made south of the Mason Dixon Line, there are only 3 cities in the Gulf I’ve been too, Houston, New Orleans, and Clearwater.  Clearwater was my favorite. Maybe again someday. Now, where was I? Oh right…

When will we get back to reasonable weather? I suppose I should be grateful I’m alive still to see any weather. It sort of reminds me of how always looking to the future we lose our appreciation for the present. And that reminds me of this week’s Uplift post Coming Attractions. Take a look.

IMG_2143

Where were you when…

Michael 16 Comments

The last couple of weeks have had some interesting stories in the news, and I don’t mean articles detailing the machinations of a chainsaw wielding immigrant or an orange skinned man-child. I’m talking about interesting stories, real life stuff.

Although I suppose there was a specific date when the world decided to shut down, the media, social and mainstream, must have gotten together and declared it was early March 2020 and have been busily writing up every 5 year COVID anniversary story they can imagine. How healthcare has changed, how cooking has changed, how exercise has changed, how travel has changed, notable moments in the history of, or the lingering effects on life after COVID. It’s a good thing we had that pandemic or else people would be filling up their column inches (and the pixelated equivalent) with really far-fetched stuff like Presidential executive orders banning skinny jeans or renaming established geographic entities. But I digress.

As much as I enjoyed reading the timeline of recent history almost as much as I enjoyed living through the timeline of recent history, the most interesting articles addressed food. If you were to say that makes sense to you because you know I like food a lot more than I like history, you are right! Even though I did get an A in history throughout my junior high school career or whenever we learn about history because those who do not learn their history are doomed to repeat it.

Apparently, something we aren’t doomed to repeat, or aren’t privileged to repeat, is more home cooking. A U.S. Department of Agriculture survey conducting in 2024 indicated people are spending 55.7% of their food budget on dining out. But…there’s always a but when you start talking statistics…but, according to a national association of restaurants and restaurateurs, more people are ordering take-out and enjoying their dining out dollars at home, including double digit increases in people purchasing complete major holiday meals (think Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter). All this while inflation supposedly had been escalating more rapidly than Dingy Donald’s golf scores. (To be fair (yes,I can be), according to the National Restaurant Association, restaurant prices increased 27.2% from February 2020 to June 2024.)

As I read some of the articles, I discovered new to me 5 year old information. For example, did you know there was a yeast shortage during the pandemic? Now, I am a bread maker. Bread, pizza, rolls. All things yeasty. (Not beer. I’m not crazy about beer and every “home-brew” I have ever tasted seemed to want to challenge rhubarb as the most bitter stuff you can put in your mouth.) Like the rest of the world, I was baking bread nearly every Saturday during the pandemic. But I also was baking bread nearly every Saturday before and since the pandemic, and because I was/am a constant baker (not to be confused with a constant gardener), I buy yeast in 2 pound blocks.  Guess I sailed right through the “shortage” with the couple packs I always have in the freezer. Who knew?

What changes from 2020 are you still living with, or without, or would like to again? Maybe next week we should talk about how exercise has changed. Gotta work off all those bread calories. See you then!

IMG_4782

Appropriate Attire Optional

Michael 13 Comments

I think I’m turning old fogie. Yesterday I had the opportunity to go to an Alton Brown live show. Alton Brown is the cinematographer turned chef turned celebrity who created the long running Food Network show, “Good Eats.”

I grant you, this was not a symphony concert nor a Broadway marquee performance, but it wasn’t the Grateful Dead either. As such, I was not dressed in my Sunday go to Meeting Clothes (even though it was Sunday), but I looked respectable in a collared shirt, slacks, and blazer.  My daughter was with me in a flowy spring dress. Sprinkled among the crowd were others like us but most looked like they would have been more at home at that Grateful Dead concert.  One particular couple who caught my eye, she with what appeared to be a beach coverup (although I don’t know what it was covering, not even close to beachwear weather) and he with a sweat stained t-shirt, cargo shorts, and grass stained work boots. She was wearing a rock on her left hand the size of the Hope Diamond and they were in the VIP session with us so I guess the lawn business is a profitable one for him and perhaps she just flew in from the yacht to catch the show.

This is all on the heels of another event on Saturday. I can’t recall if I ever mentioned here that I am a member of the Toastmasters. We are in the midst of contest season. Every year, Toastmasters around the world compete for a spot at the World Series of Speaking, moving through Club, Area, Division, District, and Regional contests in search of that spot on the International stage. Saturday was the Division contest and drew about 100 people from 18 local clubs. Of the 12 speakers, four looked like professional speakers, suits and ties, or at least blazers for the men, and a dress on the one woman.  The others looked like lawn boy’s cousin. I’m sorry, but that is not how you present yourself if you want to be taken seriously. (Unless the style of dress is a reflection of the topic like a tropical shirt if you’re discussing surfing. Nobody talked about surfing.) (Or even lawn care.)

But…through it all, whoever it was and whatever anybody looked like, I noticed a lot of people nodding and saying hello. I was flabbergasted! It was just last week in the ROAMcare Uplift post that we talked about how the world needed more Hi Guys. If you haven’t already, take a look at it.

Did you notice I was late this week? If you did, I’m sorry to have kept you waiting. If you didn’t, why not!?

IMG_4779

 

When eyes are smilin’

Michael 10 Comments

A chance encounter reminded me of an old post here that led to a new post there. It’s been a couple of weeks since I visited the walk in wobble out same day surgery center at the local big time hospital. It was on the way in that I had my mind’s eye opened.

Almost exactly 8 years ago (March 30, 2017 to be exactly exact) I posted about The Hi Guys. What could have happened all this time later to remind me of that ancient text. A near exact (there’s that word again) encounter as the one that led to the post. Back then it was a grocery store, this time it was a hospital. Both life saving institutions in their own way. But what was it. It was the greeting and the smile of an absolutely complete stranger that turned a day of anticipated dread into one of realizing the world really isn’t such a bad place after all. (Except for Washington, DC. There it’s the pits and will for always and ever and/or until January 2029 be so.)

Anyway, to see what that was, take a look at The Hi Guys and see how a simple nod or hello can become a powerful incentive to making someone smile and maybe, just maybe making their day.
While you’re there, sign up to join the ROAMcare community. It’s the only way you’ll get to see what tomorrow’s Friday Flashback will be.

HiGuys

just stuff

Michael 19 Comments

I’m not in much mood to write a post today. And I suppose I could just not write anything. Nobody has a paid subscription guaranteeing a publishable post. I’m on no program mandating so many words written per week. But because I’m a trooper (and. It just another pretty face), you’re getting a post whether you want one or not.

There has been so much going on since last Monday (and I’m not even considering what Dingy Donny, J(ust) D(umb), and the South African American immigrant were up to) . I already told you the biggest news, the loss of little Jingle. When Jingle first went to live with the daughter he was more than a handful. It wasn’t too terribly long before he was acting only like a little terror and a few more months until he because a reasonably well-behaved canine gentleman. He will be missed.

Thing  Two also was brought up in Thursday’s post. That was an already planned procedure that took way too long. It was a simple enough thing. A little quickly rerouting of a vein in my arm. We got to the hooray at 9am and left at 5:15 that afternoon for a roughly hour long procedure. To facilitate the actual surgery I was given a nerve block which rendered my arm absolutely useless for 2 days. Not just numb, but dead weight hanging off my shoulder. I had to carry my arm around in a sling or I’d leave it behind.

Item the third has been this headache I’ve been carrying around for the last 4 days. I used to be subject to terrible vascular headaches. Nothing helped. Somewhere along the way, while is was researching something at the hospital, I came across an old article (older than me even) that described very low doses of an old, old antidepressant (which was probably newfangled when the article was written) to treat headaches. I convinced my PCP it made sense to try it and if it didn’t make sense to her I knew a lot of other doctors I could go to. (These were really annoying headaches and I was not above threatening taking my medical business elsewhere.) Well…to make a long story short (I know, too late), the pills worked. Until Thursday.

And finally, I really want some ice cream.

There. Now you have your post, and in the process I actually feel a little better. It’s odd becuase there weren’t a lot of positive things mentioned and that’s a sure-fire way of feeling calmer and at peace. (Is that sure-fire or sure-fired?) Oddly enough, we wrote about feeling calm and at peace in last week’s Uplift. Take a look at Location, location, location.

While you’re there, consider joining the ROAMcare community and subscribe to have Uplift delivered to your email as soon as it hits the website. In addition to an Uplift release every Wednesday, you will also receive weekly our Monday Moment of Motivation and the email exclusive Flashback Friday repost of one of our most loved publications every Friday. All free and available now at ROAMcare.org.

IMG_4438

What I Did Last Summ….er Last Week

Michael 14 Comments

Like I don’t have enough to do this week, now I have another chore to complete. Our favorite South African American has decreed all those working for the government will report today what they did last week or face the consequences. I suppose that means being confronted with the bright red chain saw some third world dictator, err some foreign dignitary gifted him. Considering I work and pay taxes I take that to mean that I work for the government, so I will comply and not face the consequences.

Monday I did 8 hours reviewing charts then work on the first draft for next week’s Uplift post and did the final proof on last week’s.

Tuesday I participate in a morning program even though I said last year (at about this same time of year even) that I was through with morning speaking engagements. After that I took some personal time and went grocery shopping. (The “fresh” asparagus looked like it had come from a can and the eggs are still expensive. (Why is that Dingy Donny? I thought you were going to fix everything in Day 1.)) ( putz)

Wednesday I spent the day doing ROAMcare work including Moments of Motivation for March and selecting last week’s flashback post for Friday. I also did my part of the review for what will be this week’s Uplift post. In the evening I spoke at a venue so far out there that I swear the GPS got lost. At one point Siri told me “Take the next left, I think. If you see a barn with a cow painted on its side, you’ve gone too far.”

Thursday was another chart review day and in the evening another meeting. And yes, I told myself no more 3 programs in one week, but that will probably go the same way as the no more morning speaking.

Friday I did laundry and housework because I picked up a shift at the pharmacy on Saturday and I was running out of clean socks and- never mind.

Saturday I worked, but you already know that.

Sunday I went to church and to lunch with my daughter. (He won’t care about that but somebody has to pray for us and it’s not going to be  the “D.C.Christians.”)

I hope that meets with his approval. I wonder what Dimwit Donald’s list looks like. Monday, golf, Tuesday golf, Wednesday yell at Maine governor, Thursday golf, Friday tanning booth.)

Blog Art 2

Clearly I’m working too hard.  Need to slow down. And wouldn’t you know it, there is an Uplift post that can help!

In last week’s Uplift, Life in the Slow Lane, we revisited our plan for daily resolutions and how they can keep us centered and present to ourselves. You should take a look.

While you’re there, consider joining the ROAMcare community and subscribe to have Uplift delivered to your email as soon as it hits the website. In addition to an Uplift release every Wednesday, you will also receive weekly our Monday Moment of Motivation and the email exclusive Flashback Friday repost of one of our most loved publications every Friday. All free and available now at ROAMcare.org.

The best times, etc etc

Michael 10 Comments

It’s that time again, one of the best times of the year. It’s Oscar time! Specifically, the month before the actual awards are awarded. I don’t care much who wins this year’s Academy Awards. If anything, I may pay attention to the the cinematography or writing awards, but in general, this year’s winners have a long time to ferment before I’ll open them for a taste.

If you are a regular reader, or even a slightly irregular one, you know my golden age for movie watching coincides nicely with the golden age of movie making. I have made that same assertion at this same time of year several times. If you pop over to the “Search My Blog” page and type “Academy” in the search window, you will be rewarded with several posts to read about my preference for the older movies, particularly at this time of year.  Naturally, that won’t stop me from asserting that same assertion here.

In addition to what you”ll read in any of those past posts, I also think part of what makes the older movies the better choices, is the same reason why so many other older things, are just generally better. I’ll use some of my own experiences.

For well over 40 years I worked in hospital pharmacies, both non-profit and for-profit. When I started, healthcare was a terrific career choice, specifically for me, but for many others. And a well-respected field of endeavor. Today, not so much. The people working it are questionable in their dedication for excellence in providing care, and the people running it are not at all questionable in their disdain for providing care.

Here is what I believe happened.  When I began practicing hospitals were run by doctors, pharmacies by pharmacists, and drug companies by chemists and biologists. We made people well and made a respectable living. Sometime in the 1990s, hospital and pharmacies and drug companies decided to swap out the professionals from their corporate offices and replace them with “business people.” Dedication went down because they had no stake in the history of the professions. Quality went down because quality is expensive and that didn’t fit with the “increase the bottom line at all costs” narrative. Care went down because nobody needed to care anymore.

Without getting further into that diatribe, that’s what happened to movies. In the 20s to the early 60s, actors acted, writers wrote, directors directed, and producers produced. They were good at what they did. They had stables of people to draw upon, and they enjoyed what they did. And they did what they knew how to do. There are some exceptions, but it became prevalent in the 60s that people  wanted all the control so they started writing and directing and producing their own parts that they acted. Movies became pet projects rather than works of art.

If you want something good, have the professionals who want to do it, who have experience doing it, who know the good and bad of doing it just do it. It works with healthcare. It works with cars, it works with running a country. (I had to addd that – come on now. DEI caused a plane crash? Sheesh)

Back to the movies. From now until awards night, my favorite TV network, TCM will play nothing but Oscar nominated and winning movies. All day. Every day. Some even written, directed, produced, and performed by other than old white men.

8B543F91-85DD-4DF1-91D6-319398C44780

You know when else is the best of times? February! It’s not only Groundhog Day month, it is also when love is in the air. Do the right thing and spread your love to everyone, even strangers. We talk about that very thing in this week’s Uplift post, All We Need is Love, Part 2. It’s all natural, requires little effort, and makes big differences. Check it out.

While you’re there, consider joining the ROAMcare community and subscribe to have Uplift delivered to your email as soon as it hits the website. In addition to an Uplift release every Wednesday, you will also receive weekly our Monday Moment of Motivation and the email exclusive Flashback Friday repost of one of our most loved publications every Friday. All free and available now at ROAMcare.org.