Newing and Improving

“New, easier to open!” the package fairly screamed at me, daring me to not be able to open it. Lies!! Lies I tell you! It could have been the breakfast sausage but for that it took me until lunch time to open the ridiculously hermetically sealed “for your safety and for the sake of your waist” packaging. Okay, so that might have been a bit hyperbolic, but it certainly put me off my feed. What was wrong with the old packaging that a slice of the knife turned the innards into outards and breakfast was but a brown and serve away?

Why even the United States Department of Agriculture has gotten into newing and improving. They’ve improved the classic food pyramid right into non-existence. Remember the old “4 basic food groups” (burger, fries, shake, hot apple pie)? Nope, now there are 5 of them. Where did they find a new food group? (Beer?) And now that I’m thinking about it, whatever happened to those luscious, hot as lava apple pies that made the trip to McDonald’s different than to any other fast-food emporium? It’s been over 30 years since they switched from frying to baking, but try to find even a baked version. They are as rare as McRib sandwiches.

To be honest, I’m not sure there is much that was newly introduced in the last 30 years that actually made much improvement. Minicomputers we all walk around with, mistakingly calling them phones? Maybe more convenient than the corded phone hanging off the kitchen wall but we we’re doing fine keeping in touch with each other even in the dark ages of the 1990s.

There are some truly remarkable and truly new things that have come along in my lifetime. Real computers that made intricate calculations and deep data dives things of everyday life. Vaccines that prevented some of the most deadly and debilitating diseases (anyone know anybody who has polio?), medicines that cured or managed the ones we couldn’t prevent (hypertension and diabetes to name a couple), and surgical procedures for the most difficult conditions (who doesn’t know someone who is still living because of a coronary bypass or an organ transplant?). The microwave oven that almost no kitchen of the 21st century is without. Hybrid cars that make the most of the resources we currently have available, and for that matter, automatic transmissions so more people can drive them. Battery powered smoke detectors have saved countless lives and might have saved more if everybody remembered to replace those pesky old and unimproved batteries once a year.

I am sure you can think of more than a handful of things you did not have when you were a kid that is now making your kids’ lives easier. But how many are making them better? Yes, some, but no, not all. Too many “new” aren’t and “improved” don’t. Maybe it’s time we spent some time making the most and the best of what we already have, appreciate the truly new when it comes around, and work on improving our connections with those around us.

And if any of you are in the business that’s responsible for food packaging, stop trying to improve it. You’re messing with my breakfast!


January was a cold one, colder than many and in places where it usually isn’t. The cold took a friend and taught us the value of loyalty and closeness where you’d least expected it. Read how nature taught us about life in the midst of loss in the latest Uplift!


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Fit to be untied

It’s been a year and 2 months, roughly 14 months, almost exactly 1 year, 2 months, and 2 days depending on if you consider the day that you start counting day 1 or day 0. No matter which way you want to count it, it’s been a while since I brought this up here. Why does one shoelace always come untied while you’re walking? Or sometimes even just sitting. Of course, if that happens while you are sitting, I suppose it really matters on how actively you sit that could determine just how often “sometimes” might be. Or is it just me?

Surely you remember the quandary I expressed those 429 days ago (or 428). If not, allow me to summarize. Both feet are going the same place and at the same pace. Both shoes and both laces are made of the same materials. The temperature and humidity at my left foot are pert near identical to those at my right. All things being equal, why aren’t the laces? Why does one shoelace always untie itself? And in my case, it’s always the left shoe. With one exception.

This might be why I started thinking about this all over again. That one exception is with my newest pair of footwear, which actually are slippers. (Is slippers?) (Hmm) Yeah, yeah, go ahead and question it. Why do slippers even have laces? In the world of are you a “shoe person” or a “socks or barefoot person” at home. (Bare feet?) (Bare foot?) (No, barefoot but definitely with no space.) (Whew!) And yes, feel free to question that also, although I can assure you that a detailed examination of this hypothesis revealed that the vast majority (over 50% at least) of those questioned answered one or the other. (Now where was I?) (Oh yes…) In the world of are you a “shoe person” or a “socks or barefoot person” at home, I fall squarely in the center. (Middle?) (Center?) I fall right in between. I am a “slipper person.” (Or “slippers person” if you prefer.)

I have several pairs of slippers. (several pair?) (Whatever!) I have my “nighttime walk around the house when I can’t sleep slippers.” I have my “to and from the shower so I don’t get the carpet all wet slippers.” And now I have my “wear during the day at home but look more like casual shoes but are actually slippers for a little more formal look slippers.” (I see where this post is starting to get a little personal but at least I can say I don’t have any “these are really too racy to discuss in public slippers” so you can be comfortable sticking around for the rest of the story if there are children (or not) about (or around).) And that’s how I came to have slippers with laces. Faux laces because they really don’t do anything but sit there and look lacy. (Not that kind of lacy. I said this post wasn’t racy and if it was racy lacy I wouldn’t have even brought it up.) And those are the exception. If you’ve forgotten what they are the exception to, please feel free to go back and re-read the first, no second paragraph. (I did.)

So among the shoes with laces that untie the left foot (left shoe?) (left foot shoe?) themselves… So among the shoes with laces that all by themselves untie the shoe that goes on the left foot, there is one exception, those slippers, and they untie both left and right foot. (Feet?) It totally defeats the purpose of getting slippers that look like shoes (sort of) when you end up walking around with your slippers (that look like shoes) untied. Like how is that formal? The only thing I can think of that looks less formal is walking around in a tuxedo with your left shoelace untied. (And those little waxed laces they put on shoes they expect you to wear with your tux are the worst! (worse?) (worst!)) (Hahaha. I just thought of something funny. There really are places that expect you in formal wear that let me in! Sometimes even by invitation!!) (Heeheehee)

Anyway, If anybody has any hints as to how you keep your shoelaces from untying themselves, please feel free to comment.


Prior performance may not guarantee future results, but present desire can! Read how we feel determination should be your go to asset in the most recent Uplift!


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Non-Wishes for the New Year

Happy New Year! Did you wash your hair this morning? I do hope that wasn’t too personal. I ask only because if you did, you are pressing your luck. Just as you would be if you swept your floors this morning. Odd superstition those two are. You don’t want to wash away the good luck of the year. Or sweep your good fortunes outside. It’s equally odd “they” have no qualms with vacuuming or taking a shower, presumably while wearing a shower cap. What other bad luck omens should we be avoiding this New Year day?

On the good side of the omens, there are plenty of options for leveraging luck and prosperity. Are you wearing red underwear? Oh darn, there I go again. Too personal. If you have already selected your undergarments and they aren’t of that shade you can still almost guarantee good luck by having lentils for dinner or are you sticking with the old standby of pork and sauerkraut. Whatever you eat be sure to serve pomegranate for fruit course. And don’t forget to roll an empty suitcase around the house if you’re looking to fill the year with travel. Ah, travel. Where would I go? Where would you go?

Good omens, bad omens, good and bad luck. New Year’s, Halloween, and Fridays the Thirteenth have to be the most superstitious days on the calendar. The most superstitious superstition may be the least well known. A wish made exactly at midnight between New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day will surely come true. Most people are too busy looking for someone to kiss and trying to remember the words to Auld Lang Syne to worry about making wishes. The wish making doesn’t happen until hours later when many are wishing they hadn’t opened that last bottle of champagne.

It’s a terrible thing to know you might have had a wish come true and missed your chance. But that chance is a lot chancier than you might think. It must be made right at midnight, the magic moment. It’s the most chancy of good luck omens because nobody knows exactly when midnight is. That’s more obviously true this year than most. This is a leap year so we are more aware that man’s idea of a 24 hour day and a 365 day year are no match for nature’s more exact timing. Even our quadrennial intercalary addition of a spare day in February isn’t enough, hence the random “leap second” inclusions from time to time. The wish grantors aren‘t going to accept man’s claim of when midnight happens. No, it must be the one, true midnight, and even when that happens changes with every westerly taken step.

Perhaps it is just as well. Wishes are no way to go through life. I know. I’ve spent the equivalent of a lifetime wishing for a better life, not knowing then the one I have that was made by hope and faith and hard work, positive energy and prayer and meditation, beats the heck out of one built on wishing. Knowing wishes rarely come true, and never without exacting some price, has been freeing. Among other things, freeing me to find someone to kiss and to remember those darned lyrics.

Happy New Year. May all your wishes never come true.


It’s time to look back at 2023. Will you be wishing for any do overs. In the most recent Uplift we look at the perils of the redo versus the practicality of the refine. Read it here!


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Happy Christmas to All

Merry Christmas to all,
and to all a good start for
a healthy, happy new year!

Buon Natale

Frohe Weihnachten

Veselé Vánoce

Joyeux Noël

Nollaig Shona

Priecīgus Ziemassvētkus

Feliz Navidad

Hyvää Joulua

Boldog Karácsonyt

Feliz Natal

Nadolig Llawen

Mutlu Noeller

Geseënde Kersfees

Selamat Hari Natal

Linksmų Kalėdų

Gëzuar Krishtlindjet

Sretan Božić

Glædelig jul

Maligayang Pasko

Häid jõule

Wesołych Świąt

Καλά Χριστούγεννα

Lorem Nativitatis

Merry Christmas!


Our gift from ROAMcare to you is finding 7 gifts that make the best re-gifts. Read It’s Better to Re-Give here.


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Can I have that in writing

Last week I bought a set of book ends. Plain acrylic book ends you put on a bookshelf to hold the books that don’t stretch all the way across the shelf. Not fancy. Not decorative. Plain L-shaped hunks of plastic designed to do nothing but hold other things up. Although not patented until 1877, they have certainly been around since there have been books. They are as utilitarian as doorknobs or shoelaces. Things that just are. Why then am I devoting so much space to the humble bookend? It wasn’t the bookends that caught my attention when I first opened the box, aquiver with anticipation that finally I can keep my books from toppling over. It was the piece of paper within the box. The – ahem – instructions for use.

I saw a post on one of the social media sites (which I don’t remember for they are becoming like 1980s era GM cars), “in a 1960s a car’s owners’ manual had instructions on setting the gap on the spark plugs; today’s warns you not to drink the battery acid.” I thought that was cute but it could be accurate. Oh, not the 1960s reference. I do indeed recall those cars. In fact, I remember a time when on the driver’s door post, in addition to the sticker indicating the recommended air pressure, there was one also noting the recommended carburetor fuel flow, the manual including details how to make those adjustments. No, I was certain the reference to not drinking the battery acid had to have been hyperbole. And then I discovered instructions for how to use book ends.

About a month ago I bought a new easel. Artist easels have been around about as long as book ends. Although they have more parts than bookends, and moving parts to boot, there are not many ways to incorrectly stand an easel. In fact, I can think of no way to get it wrong. Yet, when I opened that box, sitting on top of the collapsed wooden frame was a four-page instruction booklet. I poured over those instructions looking for the secret to paint like Rembrandt but all I found was that I should “secure the painting surface securely.” You would think if they were going to go through the trouble of hiring someone to write operating instructions, they could have at least hired someone who knows how to use a thesaurus.

I get it. The people who make car batteries really don’t want you to crack open the battery case and suck out the “juice” no matter how long you’ve been on the side of the road waiting for service and how thirsty you got while waiting. That’s a dumb idea. And I get that somebody somewhere must have gotten exactly that thirsty, or we wouldn’t be discussing ways to discourage people from drinking battery acid. I don’t get it. Even if you used it wrong, what fate would befall you from the incorrect use of a bookend (a plastic bookend!) that would get a personal injury lawyer kicking his lips?

My warning to all of you, check those scissors, tape, ribbons, and bows before you do any gift wrapping this week for instructions. You don’t want to be the first one at the emergency room trying to explain you did what with your ribbon!


So little of this year is left. Was it as you expected or did it take a different turn? We tell a tale of how unexpected things turn out to be most welcome in the latest Uplift! (It’s just a quick 3 minute read.)


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It’s that time again

It’s that time again. You have one person on your list and after a month’s worth of early holiday sales, you still don’t have anything for her. Or him. Or them. Not even an idea.

Fortunately, you’re in luck. We’ve entered that no man’s land of take no prisoners marketing blitz that falls between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Get ready for it. Every day will bring a new email from some company you bought one thing from 18 years ago before you even had an email address. Your physical mailbox will be bulging with sales flyers for stores around the corner than you thought closed last April. Television and radio will exchange political ads for “The very very last chance at Black Friday savings!” sale ads. And even the grocery stores will line their entrances with poinsettias, wreathes, and 6 foot inflatable Santa and reindeer yard balloons.

Speaking of yards, I was amazed at how many yards were over-the-top decorated for Halloween this year and the number of huge (like 10 foot tall huge) skeletons and Jack Skellington replicas. I am happy to report that many of the people in my neighborhood who spent hundreds of dollars on these monster size monstrosities have repurposed them for Christmas by soliciting their giant skeletons to help string lights across the front of the house. Very festive.

Back to business though, you can also count on your sleepy neighborhood hardware store to fill their parking lot with every Christmas character from Santa and his sleigh to a life size nativity set all in inflatable forms, and a special section inside devoted to “As Seen On TV” leftovers.

Excluding paper routes and summer grass cutting/winter snow shoveling gigs, the first real job I had was working for Gimbels department stores during college semester breaks. Admittedly that was in a different century, way way back in a different century when the day after Thanksgiving was just the day after Thanksgiving, no fancy name to it other than the “official” start of the Christmas season and sales were still four weeks away. You wanted door-busters back then, show up at 7 on the morning of the day after Christmas. Now those were sales! Anyway, I still recall being told I was not only there to run the cash register and suggest our gift wrapping services available at the service desk. I was also there to help, make suggestions, and see that the customer found what he, or she (those were the only choices then) wanted.

If you haven’t had any luck shopping for that elusive perfect present for your special him or her or it while shopping over the previous week’s many iterations of Pre-Black Friday, Every Day is Black Friday, Black Friday, Black Friday Weekend, and Cyber Monday, and toss in Small Business Saturday, you aren’t going to get it now, so don’t bother to look any more. Instead, maybe check out the crafts aisle in the dollar store, spend a ten spot and make something personal for the one person in your list you can never buy anything for.

She or he or they probably won’t like it, but they’ll love you for trying because after all that is what the season is all about. And don’t bother with a gift receipt. It won’t be returned.


Especially during this season, we know we can never say it enough. Read why we say saying thank you for the little things in your life makes a big difference to it. We can never say it enough is our most recent Uplift! article, and did we thank you for reading it yet?


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A prayer for Thanksgiving, one more time

ThanksgivingPrayerI first published this in 2017 then most recently in 2021. Each time I read it, even though I wrote it, I seem to find something different to ponder. For example, this year – “while I think of all that I am thankful for I’ll manage to miss most of them.” We take too much for granted, our blessings, our talents, and most sadly, our fellow humans, often even the ones that occupy space right there next to us.

Wednesday at the ROAMcare site we will post our annual Thanksgiving greeting, this year encouraging all to express their gratitude for the many little things done for us throughout the day, things that seem to just happen like that extra cup of coffee you didn’t have to get up for. Maybe by concentrating on, and being grateful for, and expressing our gratitude for the little things, the big things will fall into place like they just seem to happen.

I’ll start – thank you all for opening your computers or tablets or smart phones and reading along with me. Your virtual presence adds to my day and lets me know I’m valued.

Enjoy the run-up to the holiday! May your week be filled with expressions of gratitude for all the little things you do. You know, the ones that don’t just happen.


Today is Thanksgiving in the United States. It was or will be likewise around the world. Everybody is thankful for something and most nations have managed to work in a holiday to legitimize the feeling.

I don’t know how others do it but Americans have been managing to delegitimize feelings quite efficiently lately. We’ll tout our tolerance and claim to accept all and then slur anyone who doesn’t feel the same and blur want for welcome. We support everything and everyone as long as it or they support us in the manner to which we think we should be accustomed. Our gratitude for what we have is matched by our appetite for what we don’t.

Sometime today while I think of all that I am thankful for I’ll manage to miss most of them. So will everyone else. Mostly we’re not bad people as much as clueless ones. Clueless to the differences between our reality and the one that’s really out there. And clueless to how much we rely on what we don’t even know is happening.

So when you give your thanks today that hopefully you won’t restrict to just today I offer you the prayer I started today with.

Heavenly Father, this is the day set aside to give thanks for Your surpassing goodness to human beings. Let me give proper thanks for my blessings  –  those I am aware of as well as those that I habitually take for granted. And let me use them according to Your will.

Happy Thanksgiving today and every day you think to be thankful.



Do you feel like the time from Halloween until the day after New Years Day is your Winter Holiday Stress Zone? We do and we wrote how Toilet Paper Wisdom makes things roll along a little more smoothly. Check it out at Uplift! It only takes 2 minutes. You can spare that in your holiday prep plans and maybe even walk away a little de-stressed.


Gratefully yours

Yes, November is Gratitude Month and before it is over, we will also have celebrated Thanksgiving in the USofA. (I wonder… In Canada, Thanksgiving is celebrated in October. Is October Gratitude Month up there? C’mon, Canadian readers, fill me in!) To be honest, Thanksgiving and Gratitude Month in any country are not what I was thinking when I typed in that title. I was thinking more along the lines of letters. No, not A B C letters. Correspondence letters.

I was just at the post office buying stamps, stamps that have gone up in price again since the last time I bought them. (I go back to 5 cent first class postage, 4 for second class. Do we still have second class postage?) (Anyway…) As I was swiping my debit card through the card swiper I was thinking to myself for as often as the price has gone up, what a bargain postage still is. For 66 cents you can send a letter or card up to one ounce anywhere in the country. (For the curious, 4 sheets of paper + envelope is about an ounce.)  For $1.50 you can send that same card or letter (or one very similar) to 130 different countries, as close as Canada (remember than next October if you want to wish a Canadian friend Happy Thanksgiving), or as far away as Australia (the Australian territory of Norfolk Island celebrates Thanksgiving the last Thursday of November so you better and get your card to the post office now since it will take 2 to 3 weeks to get there). (I said it was a bargain, not a rush.)

I still write cards and letters, and not just at Christmas. There is something wonderfully personal about getting a greeting in the mail among all the sales flyers and invitations to open a new credit card. (But as much as you will hear me complain about spam email and text messages, I will never disparage junk mail. Those bulk mailers are spending a lot of money on postage and keep our postal expenditures manageable.) If you want to really say thank you to a friend for nothing more than just being a friend, you’d be hard pressed to come up with a more delightful way to do so than with a card or a hand written letter. Hand printed works too.

That’s all I got for now. No, one more thing. As I was resetting clocks over the weekend I realized how, even in this day of everything being connected (and/or “smart”), how many clocks I have that still need set by hand. And I still haven’t gotten to the cars. How about you?

Okay, so now get out and send your best friend a thank you card for putting up with you. Heaven knows they likely deserve one!


Speaking of best friends, deep friendships exist to remind each other that people are lovable without having to perform for it. But not without having to work for it. Read what we have to say about the work it takes to love somebody in the most recent Uplift! Love’s Struggles. (Approximate reading time – 4 minutes. That’s not so bad.)


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Happy Halloween Eve

Happy Halloween Eve or as those in the know know, Happy Candy Corn Day! The second best holiday of the entire calendar. (The first best? Groundhog Day, obviously.)

In honor of Candy Corn Day, I’m not going to write about Candy Corn because of all the Candy Corn haters out there. I’m no fool. I keep controversy out of my blog, except for the occasional rant about guns in airports.  Here’s a good one. At the Pittsburgh airport (which two weeks ago set a record for most guns confiscated in a year with 11 weeks still to go), they stopped a bozo from Mississippi trying to go through security with a loaded handgun, two extra fully loaded clips, and a box of ammunition.  No word on if he claimed he forgot they were there. Here’s my question. The numbskull is from Mississippi, and he was stopped in a Pennsylvania airport with his cache. Did he just happen to find an irresistible sale on guns, clips, and bullets and snagged his booty in between visits with Aunt Emma and Great Grandmama? Or did he somehow manage to get all that hardware through security in Tupelo a week earlier? This is who you’re flying with people!

Anyway, let’s talk about Candy Corn. You will notice I capitalize the candy and the corn because it’s clearly worth special recognition. And I’ve given it just that. Over the years I’ve written about Candy Corn nearly as often as I have about guns in airports. (But nowhere near as often as Groundhog Day. I have my standards you know.) I think my favorite was this one, Why did the turkey cross the road? You know it must be good because it doesn’t even have Candy Corn in the title. Admittedly much of it recounts my adventure when I was stopped from proceeding up the road by a flock of wild turkeys (the non-alcoholic kind). But Candy Corn makes a surprise appearance toward the end. You should give it a read if you haven’t, or a re-read if you have. Take note, it was written in 2000 when we were being advised to keep our family holiday extravaganzas on the minimalist end of the banquet spectrum.

It was 2014 when Candy Corn got its first starring role in a RRSB blog, Children of the Candy Corn, when I mentioned the many things you can do with it, culinarily speaking. My favorite is still Candy Corn and Prosecco. And it was 2018 when in Corn, Sweet Corn, I expounded on Candy Corn’s claim to being the perfect food even though most autumn offerings push that nasty old pumpkin spice on everything and everybody.

So there you have it, a post not about Candy Corn. A post about other posts about Candy Corn yes, but not about Candy Corn. I stick to my agreements. And I promise never to forget I have an arsenal in my carry-on bag.

Happy Candy Corn Day!


There is no perfect in nature, not even Candy Corn, but there is a lot of beauty. In the most recent Uplift! Beautifully Imperfect, we ask, isn’t that what makes life so special? It’s one of our best and you really should take a couple minutes to explore why we say imperfection is so beautiful.


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Time zones

I just hung up from what I consider the most annoying, most useless, and most aggravating of all phone calls. Even more of all the above superlatives than the calls that promise they can submit my paperwork and get me the payroll reimbursements for my personnel costs during the pandemic shutdowns (which considering I have no business and thus no employees I would have paid, that would be such a great trick they should go on the Las Vegas stage with it). No the most annoying, most useless and most aggravating of all phone calls are the doctor appointment reminder calls.

I am absolutely serious about that. Those are the most of all the above and I hate them. Despise them. Abhor them. And yes, I’m probably making too much of them, but by gosh they bother me.

First of all, they aren’t the pleasant receptionist at the office going through the upcoming week’s schedule making the calls. They are the cheapest versions of the most primitive robotic callers that make the computer on the original Star Trek series sound like Barbra Streisand.  You must know the script.

“Hello. This. Is. The. Office. Of. Doctor. VeryImportant. Calling. For. PatientFullName. If. This. Is. PatientFullName. Please. Press. One. If. This. Is. Not. PatientFullName. Please. Press. Two. I’m. Sorry. I. Did. Not. Understand. Your. Response.  If. This. Is. PatientFullName. Please. Press. One. If. This. Is. Not. PatientFullName. Please. Press. Two. Thank. You. This. Is. The. Office. Of. Doctor. VeryImportant. Calling. To. Remind. PatientFullName. Of. An. Appointment. On. Tuesday. October. Twenty. Fourth. At. Ten. O. Clock. In. The. Morning. Please. Press. One. To. Confirm. This. Appointment. Or. Press. Two. To. Speak. With. Someone. To. Reschedule. I’m. Sorry. I. Did. Not. Understand. Your. Response.  Please. Press. One. To. Confirm. This. Appointment. Or. Press. Two. To. Speak. With. Someone. To. Reschedule. Thank. You. We. Look. Forward. To. Seeing. PatientFullName. Soon. Para. Continuar. En. Español. Presione. La. Tecla. Estrella.

If that’s not bad enough, these calls come after the text message reminders, email reminders, and reminders through the hospital system patient “Portal.” Portal schmortal. It’s an app just like McDonalds or Dominos!

Maybe I’m just a bit overly sensitive to these intrusions because after being discharged I now have follow-up appointments with every doctor I’ve ever seen in the last 18 months and each one wants to make sure I get there without delay. Sheesh!

Who they really should be calling are the doctors to remind them they have an appointment with PatienFullName Tuesday morning and get your ass into the office on time!


We start as one of one. Some find another as one of two. Some love others selflessly as one of one-plus. The luckiest of us learn to love and share as much as we can as one of many, becoming community. You read one of one and one of one-plus here, now read the rest of the story, one of many at Uplift!


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