Category House and Home

Seven Days

Michael Leave a comment

There are seven days until Spring!  Yes, we know it snowed overnight.  Yes, we know the temperature fell to about eight degrees this morning.  Yes, we know that the northern half of the United States still looks like it’s in the Ice Age.  The good news is that we really still are in the most recent Ice Age and regardless of what it looks like outside, Spring will be here in seven days!  Hey, forgive us if we want to be a little fanatical about it.  You try hanging out in a freezer for five months and not go a little stir crazy.

Even with the new snow and single digit air temperatures there are signs that Spring really is coming.  Locally we actually had a day with the air temperatures higher than sixty degrees!  Now that we are finally getting some warmer days along with the colder nights, sap is running to make our real maple syrup.  Trees are budding out.  Crocuses are starting to push their way through where the soil isn’t completely frozen.  Stores have given up on St. Patrick’s Day decorations and expanded the Easter displays.  Daylight Saving Time is in place in the places that observe Daylight Saving Time.  And non-fat people are starting to wear shorts.  (Ok, so most of them are Mr. Machos trying to prove that they still have the legs of a high school football star – they don’t – but it’s still a sign of Spring.)

What will you do to see that Spring is welcome at your place next week?  We have a few suggestions.

  • Open a window, open a door, let some fresh air in the house.  It might be cold fresh air but you’ll feel fresher for it.
  • Buy some fresh flowers. (No, fresh is not necessarily going to be the theme.  It’s just a coincidence.)  Find a vase, a ribbon, and a place of honor and see Spring bloom before you.
  • Women, buy new espadrilles.  Men, new boat shoes.  When the Spring rains come do your imitation of Debbie Reynolds and/or Gene Kelley and put those new shoes to work.
  • Buy a hat.  Both of you.
  • Put the top down, open the sun roof, or crank down the windows on your way to work tomorrow.  Don’t worry if it’s still not the warmest day of the year so far.  We’ve gone topless in snow squalls and lived to tell about it.
  • Go fly a kite.
  • Make this year’s resolutions.
  • Grow something from seed.  Flower, herb, veggie.  When you are harvesting it later this year you’ll remember that you started it all yourself.
  • Eat something outside.  It could be a full meal of yours that you have prepared.  It could be from a food truck that you wonder how they prepared that in there.  It could be a hot dog on a stick.  Get outside and let your memory recall all of last year’s al fresco moments while you get ready for this year’s.

That should take about a week and before you know it you’ll be getting ready for summer.  But that’s a post for a different day.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Bells and Whistles and Hot Tubs, Oh My!

Michael Leave a comment

We have figured out how to take the pulse of the American economy.  Go to a home and garden show.  Around here, one knows that Spring is just around the corner when the annual Home and Garden Show fills up the local convention center.  This isn’t your garden variety garden show.  This is a big deal around here.   The organizers claim over 1600 exhibitors covering nine acres of floor space selling everything from asphalt to yard barns.

Well, we stopped by and spoke with some of those 1600.  Over the years we’ve gotten some unique items at the show, ordered some great buys at the show, and picked up a dud or two at the show.  (It happens.)  One thing we always try to do before getting into a buying frenzy is find out how much we’re talking about apropos whatever the vendor before us is hawking.  Just like we won’t wait at a restaurant longer than 15 minutes before being seated, we aren’t going to wait for a pitch for an iron priced at $99.00.  Yes, we saw one of them – “the last iron you’ll ever buy” was the pitch for this one.  We know that’s not true.  First of all, if it’s the last iron we’ll ever buy, what will they sell us next year?  And secondly, that $17 iron we talked about a couple of years ago is still going strong.  (See, “I Went to a Home Show and All I Bought Were Nacho Chips,” March 8, 2012.)

Here’s what we found out this year.  Bells and whistles must cost a bundle.  We stopped at a booth where they were selling free standing roof structures for decks and patios.  The kicker to these was that the roof was actually a louver system that opened to allow light and air through but closed when the sun turned to clouds and then it didn’t let rain through.  “How much?” She of We asked.  “$8,000 for the 8×10 section you see here.”  We must have shown some alarm at that figure which is quite possible since that was more than the combined total that we paid for both of our decks.  “Of course this one has all the bells and whistles.”  “And if we rang our own bell and blew our own whistle, how much?”  “Oh, about $5,000.”  That’s $3,000 worth of bells and whistles.  If there is a $3,000 whistle out there, we’d like to see it.  While there, He of We noticed the vendor’s contact list on his podium/desk and it had quite a few names on it.  Someone out there is thinking that $8,000 for what is essentially a blind turned on its side is a bargain.  Who are these people?

Another thing we noticed while perusing the garden area of the home and garden show was the number of vendors selling hot tubs.  Many of them were also double dipping into the world of high temperature settings by offering a variety of personal saunas.  There were twenty vendors listed with hot tubs, pools, and saunas set up in the “outdoor stuff” zone.  Many displays were marked “Sold” which we’re not so sure of, but it made for a compelling reason to stop and look for that “Home Show Special” sign among the ones not so marked.  Sometimes that is not a bad deal.  That’s how we got ours several years ago.  We will tell you that the prices listed today and the price we paid 5 years ago did not resemble each other at all.  Today’s prices were reaching well into the five figure range.  And again the contact lists were filled.  And again, who are these people.

Yet another thing we noticed.  Admission to the show for children under 6 is free.  For those between 6 and 10 the price is a measly $4.  Why would you want to take a small child or push a stroller between thousands and thousands of other shoppers across 9 acres of exhibits?  Leave them at home with a sitter.  Please.  If you were to tell Mom exactly how far she was walking she’d probably want to stay home too.  We think we figured out why all of these kids were at the show.  They are, after all, free.  Sitters cost money.  So if you have to do a little saving to be able to afford the $3,000 trampoline what better place than to drag a kid to but the very place where he or she can try out the $3,000 trampoline before you commit to charging it – er, we mean buying it.  Once more, who are these people?

So what did we learn?  There’s clearly no economic crisis in America.  If we can afford $8,000 blinds complete with $3,000 worth of extra bells and/or whistles, $12,000 hot tubs, and $3,000 trampolines, we can do it without having to go on strike to raise the minimum wage.  If you need to save a little bit, find an event where children get in free and then take them there over and over again.  The more you spend on your admission, the more you save on theirs.

And let’s not forget that $99 iron.  It could be the last iron you’ll ever buy.  Until next year.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Eat the Chicken

Michael Leave a comment

Sometimes you run across a story that just won’t quit.  Such is the news that hamburger is soon to be as expensive as steak.  Over the past month we’ve seen this story in the local evening news, the morning news, the weekend news, the national morning news, the Internet news, and in two newspapers.  We’ve even heard it on the radio.  We’re guessing it’s getting close to the time that our next burger will require a home equity loan.  Maybe we should start from the beginning.

The news media and/or the cattle industry started priming us to expect higher beef prices last summer.  The drought, which may or may not have already happened, was resulting in less prime grazing land and thus smaller, lighter beef cattle. Eventually that morphed into farmers were keeping less cattle so those that were grazing would be well fed.  By the end of the year, as the well fed cattle made it to market, they weren’t as fattened up as they should have been and they sold off for less than expected.  And that meant that our consumer prices had to go up to make the differences.  In a nutshell.

Prices go up, prices go down.  We know that when one is dealing with food that itself has to eat before it becomes food, whether livestock or agri-stock, variables such as the weather will create variables in the ultimate market price.  Pigs went through the same pattern last year and that is why we now have $4.00-$5.00 per pound bacon.  It doesn’t explain why the price of pork chops remained essentially unchanged.  After all, it is the same pig.

Back to the cow.  The most popular cut of beef is not cut but ground.  Whether ground chuck, round, or mixed source, whether 85%, 93%, or 97% lean, Americans buy more ground beef than in any recognizable cut.  Thus the headlines that hamburger is soon to as expensive as steak.  Nobody said all beef prices are going up, just that ground beef is following the trail blazed by bacon.  This makes us wonder once again that it is all the same cow, or steer, or whatever.  How long before pot roast is out of reach of the average American family?  Will filet mignon no longer be the center point of a celebratory dinner, giving way to Salisbury Steak?

Not to be outdone by the western cattle farmer, the eastern dairy cow farmer has now announced that due to our most recent bouts of inclement weather, the dairy industry is faced with less nourished dairy cows and we should expect a gallon of white milk to soon rival the price of a good white wine.  Here too, less water means fewer cows and fewer cows mean less milk and nobody has suggested that butter, cheese, or Klondikes will also experience a sudden price increase.  Only with the most common cow product will the dairy industry be milking the public.  (Sorry.)

I suppose we’ll just have to wait things out.  In the meantime have a breakfast of pricey bacon with a glass of pricey milk, a lunch of a pricey hamburger with a pricey milkshake, all wrapped up with a dinner of a pricey meatloaf and a cheap bottle of wine.

Or, we could have chicken.  Seems the weather hasn’t bothered the poultry group much.  Yet.  But then, what’s it cost to feed them anyway, chicken feed?

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Dat’s a Nice Burs

Michael Leave a comment

In the 1983 movie “Trading Places” a creepy man sits down next to Louis Winthorpe’s fiancé Penelope Witherspoon, points to her handbag and says, “Dat’s a nice burs,” which we believe translates to “that’s a nice purse.”  Very appropriate because Penelope was played by Kristin Holby whose daytime job was an Yves St. Laurent model.  YSL was big into purses in the early 80’s.  Actually, everybody was then.  And they still are now.

In was just this past weekend that our local weather turned bad enough that everybody who is anybody stayed indoors.  She of We took advantage of staying inside her doors by spending time with several of the home shopping channels.  She enjoys shopping on television, out of catalogues, and through the Internet and she has figured out the good, the bad, and ugly of no-touch purchasing.

It seems over this weekend all of the shopping channels were featuring — purses!  Not just any bags.  No these aren’t the $40 variety that a lady wouldn’t mind being seen with while at the same time wouldn’t mind when the local bus drives by too close to the sidewalk and the only thing between that geyser of water it just launched and the lady with the handbag is the handbag.  These are the bags that everybody will be looking for this season (as the shopping hostess will shortly proclaim) and can be yours for the one time, never to be seen again, super special price of only $327, or $109 in three easy payments.  The good – take advantage of that easy pay option.  There’s no interest, no extra charges, no hidden fees. That’s borrowing money for free!  The bad – that purse is over $300!  Even in free money that’s a lot of money.  Leave it on the screen.  The ugly – compared to the retail stores, that’s actually a good price.

When did purses get to cost as much as 1980’s vintage refrigerators?  With all the company monogramming and logo-ing on just about every offering, why are you paying them to do their advertising?  And the one we couldn’t resist asking, if you buy a $300 purse, how much could you possibly have left to put in it?

Another disturbing trend being broadcast on the shopping channels, in commercial spots, and as stand-alone infomercials is skin care.  We’re both old enough to remember when skin care was a jar of cold cream.  Today it’s a billion dollar business coming $100 at a time.  Serums and oils and creams made of fruits, vegetables, sea water, and the occasional cold cream base are everywhere.  For them to work their magic you must buy the whole set.  And the whole set runs well over $100.  But that’s ok.  Buy now and they are willing to charge you only $39.95 for that vital full kit.  But buy now and you are also agreeing to an automatic shipment of the whole kit every month at the regular price.  One hundred dollars of skin care products every month.  Now there’s a budget buster.

Watch out for more “too good to be true” deals out there.  Like, did you know that the gold dangling bracelet on the screen up there may be gold plated resin?  Someone out there is coating plastic bracelets, pendants, and earrings with a bit of gold and calling it gold plated jewelry.  It sounds good but do you really need a $90 plastic ring?  A great price for gold.  Not so great for fake.

We know every woman wants flawless skin, a nice bauble on her finger, and for someone to come up to her and say “Dat’s a nice burs.” Our suggestions are find a jar of cold cream, keep you purses under $50, and get the good jewelry.  Be a critical thinker before clicking away a few hundred dollars because someone is telling you it’s a good deal.  Don’t be a sheep.  Be unique.  Start a trend.  Buy what you need, not what someone else tells you that you absolutely have to have.  Now get out there and shop.  Or stay in there and shop.  It’s not going to snow forever.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Entertainment on Demand

Michael Leave a comment

January is half over and we’re still working on our respective home budgets for this year.  Oh, they’ve been done for months but during that time everything we buy from applesauce to Zagnuts has gone up thus requiring, as Congress would say, a re-opening of the spending plan.

Some things you just can’t do without.  Electricity, water, sewage, and gas come to mind.  Somebody somewhere is saying they do quite well with wood burners, wells, and a septic tank.  Congratulations.  Feel free to spend what you’ve saved on Riddx.  But as we were saying, some things you can’t do without.  Fortunately, these utilities are basically on demand.  You probably pay a minor monthly line charge on all of them but the bulk of the bill is based on usage.  Turn your lights off when you’re not in the room and your electric bill goes down.  You pay for what you use.  Just about everything is like that.  You pay for the groceries you buy to eat.  You pay for the water you run through your taps.  You pay for the clothes you’re planning to wear.  If you want to save, you buy less.  If you’re feeling generous to yourself, you buy more.  All except one.

The cable bill.  What is it about television that has us held hostage to hundreds of dollars a month whether we use it or not.  And don’t think you’re getting away with anything if you have satellite instead of cable.  It’s the same thing.  So are the movie services like Netflix and Hulu.  Every month someone is sucking money out of our checking accounts for services we may or may not have used.  Sort of like “just in case” we want to watch the news, a hockey game, or a re-run of Gilligan’s Island.

Our cable bills are more each month than our electric, gas, water, and sewage combined.  Is this right?  Even when you pare away the “basic plus” channels, the movie channels, and the special packages the bill for entertaining oneself is ridiculously high.  And there’s nothing we can do about it.  We could eliminate cable altogether and if we could find a store that still sells antennae we’d lose most local sports, all but 25 year old movies, and get to watch the local news with two shadow figures.  Losing Gilligan’s Island might be the only good thing that would come of that.

We think there should be a meter on the television just like on the water line.  If you watch something you pay for the time you’re watching.  If you instead are relishing in a hot shower you pay for the water you use.  Then you can have a glass of that wine you bought with the intention of drinking, sit in your comfy chair with a reading lamp turned on and being paid for while reading the book you purchased just for that purpose.  All without the cable company sticking its hand in your checking account.

That’s what we call on demand!

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Neither snow, nor rain, nor Congress, nor a Polar Vortex, etc., etc.

Michael 1 Comment

It was cold here earlier this week.  No surprise for most of America since it was cold just about everywhere.  Tuesday we hit air temps of 9 to 10 degrees below zero with wind chills around 30 below.  We still got our mail.  He is on a driving route with his mailbox sitting at the street.  But She has her mailed walked to her door by a letter carrier who still marches up and down the street.  It’s not like they were responding to heart attacks or putting out fires.  They were delivering bills and junk mail but were still out there.

Oddly, we were talking about the postal service just a week earlier.  Seems the USPS finally got someone to approve, albeit temporarily and to expire in 2016, their request for a rate hike.  This had been a discussion in the media and in offices in late December when it was approved.  Most of that discussion started with, “Can you believe it? Stamps are going up again!”  Every once in a while Reality finally hold of the reins and pulled that Pony Express carriage to the side of the road.  (Yes we know the Pony Express was an independent hauler and not part of the USPS, not unlike UPS or FedEx today.  We’ll get that in a little while.)  Our typical response was, “But when was the last time you mailed anything other than a Christmas card?”

Here’s the Reality.  That rate hike is going to s 49 cents to pick up a letter, a payment, a birthday card, a get well greeting, Groundhog Day party invitations or whatever you can fit into a 5 to 11-1/2 inches long by 3-1/2 to 6 inches high envelope weighing up to an ounce and deliver it directly to somebody s house anywhere in the United States.  s a deal.

Reality Part 2.  She of We had a package to be delivered some 5 states away, a little over 900 miles.   This was during the rushed, shortened Christmas season of 2013.  That was the one where some people might still be waiting to get their presents delivered.  She mailed her package from the post office for the grand sum of $8.00 on the Saturday before Christmas (December  21) and it got there on Christmas Eve.

Reality Part 3.  Even though the United States Postal Service is a “non-government agency” and receives no tax money, it can only raise rates, change service levels (such as not delivering on Saturdays), or make available certain goods and services (like flat rate shipping) with the approval of Congress.  Congressmen and Senators not being able to explain to their constituents exactly what it is that they do can always make a few extra points with the voters by telling them they kept stamp prices down and everyone will continue to get to get junk mail and bills on Saturdays.  This is like McDonald’s going to Congress to seek approval for a price increase on a Happy Meal.

So is anybody happy about the 3 cent increase in first class postage?  Sure, everybody who hasn’t had his or her identity stolen while trying to pay bills on line, everybody who got their Christmas gifts delivered on time for Christmas, and everyone who actually sent thank you cards for their on-time Christmas gifts know that 49 cents just isn’t that much money to stay whole, to stay happy, or to stay in touch.

We say fool them all and start writing a letter or two!  And don’t forget those Groundhog Day party invitations.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

Did you know?  We’ve added a search feature to the Real Reality Show Blog.  Find it in the right margin, type in a word or two and the system will return all the blogs that have that word.  For example, type in “toast” to find one of our favorites, “How Would You Like Your Toast?”  Happy searching!

 

Year of the Book

Michael Leave a comment

If you are Chinese or eat at a lot of Chinese restaurants then you know that this is the Year of the Horse.  On the other hand, if you like to curl up in a corner next to a crackling fire with one of our favorite pastimes then you know this is the Year of the Book.

 Books are getting to be strange things.  Not the New York Times best sellers, which as far as we can tell is every book that is ever released.   And not the autobiographies of every politician, actor, singer, and fashion designer, which a far as we can tell as long as there are ghost writers willing to be paid for pretending to be someone else there will always be autobiographies of those never heard of before their autobiographies came out.  No, those books aren’t strange.  Well, they are but they have always been so there’s not much new there.

Books are getting to be strange things because they keep on showing up at book stores that the Internet pundits have said would all be disappearing this year for the past five years.  Even among the virtual market flood with e-readers, tablets, and reader apps for smart phones (one has to be pretty desperate to try to read an entire book on a phone), books, real books with actual covers and pages are still being bought enough that there are still bookstores even after the Internet pundits said there shouldn’t be.

When recently asked on a news show, authors and critics alike preferred a real book to read even though those polled had reader devices also.  There is no question that the e-reader is the frequent traveler’s best friend for reading material.  With hundreds of books available on a single unit, one never has to worry what genre to read this evening.  Packing one e-reader is certainly much more convenient than packing a modest 3 or 4 books.  But for sitting in comfy chair next to a crackling fire there is nothing like the feel, the smell, and the heft of a real hard cover book.

Some books you just can’t replace electronically.  The best selling book of all time is still the Bible in all its various versions.  Something you never see is an abridged Bible.  We suppose the Eight Commandments just doesn’t have the same ring as the original.  Though one may not find an abridged Bible they do get smaller and smaller.  Smaller type and thinner pages have taken pounds off the venerable tome.

Everybody should have a couple of classics.  Even if you don’t opt for the leather binding you’ll be hard pressed to really enjoy the art of reading a classic Twain, Poe, or one of the Bronte sisters in an electronic reader.

Other books that aren’t going anywhere electronically are the Idiot’s Guide and the For Dummies series.  These are still going great guns.  We figure it’s because they are easy to hide when company is coming over.  In a reader they are there for all to see.  There are so many of them and more keep coming out every year.  We wouldn’t be surprised if there isn’t an Idiot’s Guide to e-Readers.  Soon we expect to see an Idiot’s Guide for Dummies.

One book that seems to have been lost to modern technology is the road atlas.  It wasn’t too many years ago that half of all cars had one shoved under a seat, tucked into a seat back pocket, or tossed into the trunk.  Now with GPS units, GPS phone apps, and turn-by-turn directions from satellite provides the atlas is becoming extinct.  Yet if you just want an idea of a couple different ways to get from New York to Miami it’s difficult to think of a more useful book.

So there you have it, our Year of the Book.  And regardless of what the Internet pundits have to say, we expect many more years to follow.

That’s what we think.  Really.  How ’bout you?

 

Sleeping in Heavenly Peace

Michael Leave a comment

Some people think the best way to fall asleep is in total darkness and complete silence.  Not here.  We find it much easier to fall asleep to somebody droning on about something.  The 11:00 news is usually good for that.  Flip the television on, tune to one of the favorite local news shows, set the timer for a half hour, and slumber will come long before the weatherman traces his first isobar.

That’s the way it used to be for He.  Now he’s up every couple of hours and every couple of hours it becomes a new chore to fall asleep.  With the modern multi-hundred-channel cable system it should be easy enough to find a droner somewhere, but as the hours get later the choices for an electronic sedative get fewer.  This was a conversation He had with himself a few nights ago.

“Ok, let’s see what we have here.  Oh good, four Duck Dynasty episodes until the paid programming comes on. If I don’t fall asleep at least I’ll have something to watch for a while.  No, I can’t watch that.  I’ll get wrapped up in whatever they’re doing and actually want to watch it.  Oh look, ‘Kindergarten Cop’ is on.  ‘It’s not a tumor.’  Best line from that movie.  Actually the only good line from that movie.  What else do we have?

“Movies, movies, movies.  All of them already started.  I hate coming in the middle of a movie even if I have seen it a thousand times.  Geez, ‘Tin Cup’ is on again.  There must be some golf tournament on this weekend or why would they play that in November?  Why not, they play it every month anyway.  Every day sometimes.  No movie.  I’ll be asleep before I get into it.  What about one of those classic television channels?

“Car 54 Where Are You?  Really?  Really.  Let’s see what that’s all about.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen it.  Oh no, Dragnet with even less personality.  Back to the real channels.

“Hmm, Pawn Stars?  No, they’ll have something really interesting and I’ll want to stay up and watch it but I’ll fall asleep and won’t remember it from the last time I saw it.  I meant to go see that place the last time I was in Vegas.  I wonder why I didn’t?  That’s right, dinner with the boss and his boss and a dozen other bosses.  Next time.

“Well if I don’t find something soon I’ll be asleep.  Ha.  Did you hear that?  Of course I did, I’m right here.  Now where were those duck guys?”

And so it goes every couple of hours.  Droning on about finding something to drone on.  Hmm.  That could be the new sedative.  Just don’t tell the people at work about that.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Past Peak? Not Yet!

Michael Leave a comment

Over the weekend, as it seems with most weekends, errands needed run.  Our corner of the world is where the weathermen show a map of fall colors and point out the “Past Peak” area.  It should have peaked here a month ago.  And a month ago it was pointed out on the map that we were at “Peak” here.  For most of the area, those maps were right.  But for the roads He needed to travel on Saturday they were quite wrong.

Saturday was a glorious day here.  Glorious for a day whose date begins with November.  The sun was out, the temperature was up, and the daily drizzle took a day off.  It was a good day to take care of some essentials and the lack of a chill in the air was a bonus, particularly for someone still doing that post-hospital recovery thing.

But the most striking thing was that there were still beautiful fall colors in the trees.  The errand route involved going downhill from a good, high vantage point, driving through a canopy-like tree covered road or two, and getting a parking space that did not face the store front but rather faced the hillside across the street from the lot.  All of those areas were festooned with fall foliage anything but past their peak.  Orange, yellow, and red leaves, and even a green one here and there, stubbornly hung on to their branches to extend the fall show for at least one more weekend’s performance.  It was enough to make one stop and look and enjoy knowing soon those characters will finally let go and the raking and clearing and mulching will continue.

Even knowing there is work ahead, the joy those trees dressed in their fall finest made the errand running a little easier and made coming back out of the stores something to look forward to.

It does make one wonder though, what do the people who live in areas without fall do for enjoyment.  Maybe that’s one reason that those of us who live in an area that someone would call “Past Peak” stick around.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

A Throne, a Throne, the Kingdom for a Throne

Michael Leave a comment

Since He of We returned from the hospital, chairs have become a funny thing.  Almost all of what he could do in the pre-hospital days he can do post-hospital except get out of most chairs.  If it is true that one’s home is one’s castle, his is definitely missing the throne room.  Let’s explore.

In general, the firmer the surface, the easier is the exit.  That all but eliminates all of the sofas and loveseats in the house.  The set in the living room is soft and squishy and perfect for napping on.  But once he gets down into one he sinks so low he has to roll out of the furniture’s grip and use gravity to help him out.  The only way to fool these man-eating pieces is to remain perched on the edge of the seat, and what fun is that?  A second set in a second room exhibits the same characteristics but with the added attraction of being low to the ground so that when he works his way to the edge he gets the pleasure of having to lift himself an additional 3 or 4 inches.

Moving to the sunroom there is a dandy pair of wicker swivel rockers.  They are a good height with a firm seating area and in an excellent position to sit and read, take a snack, or just watch the outside go by.  Except when it’s time to get up.  Recall they are swivel rockers and wicker.  With little weight behind them when trying to push himself up he usually ends up twisting the chair into such a position that he stands up into a wall or a table.

Recliners abound in He’s house.  He can choose between a compact one, one of a traditional size and style, and an oversized double width job that lays back to almost flat.  All are very easy to drop into, but no kingdom edicts will be made from any of those pieces.  They are too comfortable and lull him into the thinking that he can stay there for as long as necessary and then bound up refreshed and ready to take on the world.  He couldn’t bound out of a recliner before he went into the hospital; now he just reclines there, muttering “another 15 minutes and then I’ll get up.”

The dining room chairs are sturdy, firm, with good backs, and arms to push up and out with.  But who wants to spend an entire day at the dining room table.  The last person who tried that was Henry VIII.

That leaves, well, it leaves the porcelain chair in the “throne room.”  Not ideal for long term sessions and certainly no place to receive visitors. 

Maybe this castle thing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  Perhaps one’s house is just a house and the perfect throne is wherever one can sit for a few minutes and take solace in that even if it’s a chore getting up it’s a joy being able to.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?