Category House and Home

Sing With Med

Michael 6 Comments
I was all set to write a light hearted, much about nothing, give serious the week off type of post when it happened again. I read the headlines. I’ve got to stay away from headlines. They invite animosity and foment divisiveness! What was the headline that’s about to set me on my latest rant? “Are Air Fryers Healthy!”
 
Ignoring the fact that I like my air fryer and for 50 of my 60-some years I considered the four food groups to be french fries, corn dogs, deep fried Snickers bars, and beer (you have to stay hydrated), the air fryer may be one of the healthiest appliances in your kitchen. Why? Because it’s an oven! Duh
 
America has to be the only country where we call things anything but what they are and honestly believe that just because we say so, it is so. Just as for instance, the entire world (the entire English speaking world) (and some parts that aren’t) calls the last letter of the English alphabet “zed.” Americans say “zee.” And do you know why? Well, come down memory lane with me.
 
Back in 1780-somethjng Wolfie Mozart penned a ditty to accompany the words to a French nursery rhyme, “Shall I Tell You Mother?” Of course it sounds better in French. Anyway, unless you are French you probably don’t know the nursery rhyme but you most certainly know the music. It’s the same tune as “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,” and the same tune the Charles Bradlee, American, used as the music for “The Alphabet Song,” a most American phenomenon that taught little Americans their alphabet since 1835. If you’ve never heard it, the words are quite simple, they are basically the alphabet. Unfortunately the alphabet has only 28 syllables (w, remember) and the music had 14 notes remaining. Bradley filled them up with “Now I said my A B Cs, Next time won’t you sing with me.” Perhaps more unfortunately “me” does not rhyme with “zed.” No problem, he just changed the letter to “zee,” copyrighted his new work and Sesame Street had serious competition 76 years before it came to be. And you thought American arrogance was a modern phenomenon.
 
Now about that air fryer. Yes it and sir frying are healthy, or at least as healthy as baking or roasting. In other words, it, like a fryer, depends on what you put in it.
 
Tune in next week when we’ll discuss why the Department of the Interior is in charge of everything outdoors.
 
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Found Money

Michael 4 Comments
Oh you dear people. Everybody wondering “how much be,” then complaining “it’s not enough,” and now wondering “will there be more?” Well not me. I hit the jackpot! Yes I hit it big! I broke the bank! Citibank that is. I got me me a check from them. Me! A big ole check to start the new year. Yes, me! Do you want to know why? An error was made in my favor and they admitted it. In writing. And sent it to me. In a check. They sent me a check for (are you sitting down?) (you should be sitting down) for thirty-five dollars and no cents. Yep, 35 bucks.
 
Schmucks. Thirty-five freaking dollars. That would be 44.55 Canadian. Or if you’d rather — 28.58 Euros, 45.40 Australian Dollars, 26.50 Pound Sterling, 349 Venezuelan Bolivar, 2,588.23 Indian Rupees or 2,600.40 Russian Rubles  Thirty-five freaking dollars. Wanna know more of why? They charged me a late fee on a Home Depot credit card account they should not have. In 2014!!!!!!
 
In July of 2014 they charged me a late fee even though they had credited the payment to my account 3 days before its due date. No explanation why they charged me a late fee when the payment wasn’t late. I saw when it happened six and a half years ago. Actually I saw roughly 30 days after it happened 6-1/2 years ago when I recieved the following month’s statement showing the activity. I brought it to their attention but they couldn’t take my word for it. I referred them to their statement but they wouldn’t take their word for it. I was told they would need the date, amount, and drawing institution of the payment, the confirmation numbers of my on line payment, a copy of the acknowledgement screen or email of that payment, and proof that the payment was actually debited from my bank account and recieved by them. Upon receipt of all that they sent a very nice letter saying they would begin their investigation. And that was the last I heard from them. 
 
That was that was the last I heard from them until January 2, 2021 when slipped into my mailbox was a letter and an attached check for $35.00. A letter that said there was an error. No explanation. No apology. No word that was even the incident provoking this action. Maybe the whole world is getting 35 bucks and I’m not special at all. No mention they would be notifying the credit bureaus they misinformed them of a late payment 6-1/2 years ago and no freaking interest on my $35.00 that you know darn well they would have charged me had I owed them $35 for 79 months. Just $35.00. 
 
Hmm. Well, it’s found money. I should splurge with it. $35.00. I’ll get dinner! Take out dinner. Wait. $35.00. Better make that lunch.
 
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Let It Snow

Michael Leave a comment
2020 has been a pretty unusual year, virtually. We have all adapted to some pretty unusual circumstances, virtually. And we have had some measure of success in carrying on with our lives, virtually. We are working virtually, worshipping virtually, entertaining virtually, schooling virtually, and yesterday a brand new foray, virtually.
 
Western Pennsylvania does not do well with snow. I don’t know why. Ski resorts do well but otherwise most people panic at the suggestion there may be a white coating covering their spaces. When the weather nerds forecasted twelve hours of nonstop snow with an accumulation of up to 9 inches of the stuff, not a jug of milk, loaf of bread, or roll of toilet paper was safe on its shelf down at the local market. (See here if I lost you with that one.) One thing Western Pennsylvanians do well on snowy days is “snow days.” Schools, work, and other semi-essential components of life just shut down, or a less dramatic response issue a “delayed opening” or “early dismissal” order. So it wasn’t unexpected with a forecast of snow starting to accumulate in the late morning hours that local school districts would consider an early dismissal. And in fact one did. And with that we entered a new dimension, virtually.
 
A suburban Pittsburgh district declared an early dismissal for Wednesday due to the impending inclement weather. But the district is on remote learning. It was as far as I have been able to ascertain, the first virtual snow day on record.
 
It gets better. Not sarcastic better. Seriously better. This was actually a sort of planned “virtual snow day” evidence by the touching letter the district superintendent sent to all the parents Tuesday evening. In it she asked all instruction to stop at 11am and everyone to “let go of the stress and worry of school.” 
 
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all had the opportunity to just let go of stress, to start being happy, to enjoy what we have. Oh wait, we do! It shouldn’t take a snow storm to create happy memories. Two weeks ago I semi-issued a semi-challenge to recall one happy memory from 2020 each day in December as we close in on the end of this virtually unhappy year. I have been and I have been saving them so I when I think nothing good ever happens I can tangibly point to a year’s worth of good in one nobody wants to remember.
 
So, in the words or my new favorite educator, go make a snow angel, build a fort, or bake cookies. Take time for you and your family and enjoy the wonders of this season. Although I would argue that every season holds wonders.  
 
Please don’t wait for a snow day to let go of stress and worry.
 
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Number Please

Michael Leave a comment
Something the pandemic and its quarantines, closures, restrictions, and general craziness did not change for me is banking. Like many I rarely go to the bank, often carry no cash. I’ve been in that habit though for years. I was a direct deposit pioneer. The last time I saw an actual pay check was in the 1978. Maybe 77. It’s been almost as long since I’ve written an actual check. Housing or car payments were auto-drafted as we called it in the 80s since the 80s. Other payments went on automatic by the end of the 1900s. Over the last 20 years I’ve been inside a bank maybe once a year and have not written a check or used any other non electronic payment for a monthly bill, except one. Ugh! And this year’s trip to the bank?  Double Ugh!
 
For some reason my prescription drug plan does not have a working on line bill paying option. They claim to have one. Their website menu has an option for one. The monthly paperless statement even includes a link to one. Lies! All lies!  Well … Perhaps semi-lies. They have the option but not a working option. When I am lucky(?) enough to speak with a support someone about it I am told the system is down (indeed it is)  but will be available again soon (it never is)  and I am left with the choice of either “pay by phone” or write a check. I detest phone paying services but I destester sending a check. Actually not so much the sending as the remembering to send a check early enough that it gets to them by the due date. 
 
Pay by phone services have not improved since their days as the darlings of paperless payment service in the 1990s. The problem with pay by phone is that you do not have the option to enter a number and review it for accuracy before “sending” it. Each press of a button seals its fate as part of your entry. And there are a lot of numbers. Account number, the famous SSN last four, ZIP Code, payment type, payment account numbers, payment amount, and the *, #, $, and / in between (or not). An incorrect push of any button sends you back to the beginning.  Let’s not forget the “Press1 for Yes, 2 for No” between each entry. Ugh.  
 
They may have regressed when they instituted voice non-recognition. Oh, they can tell the difference between a letter “O” and the number “0” a long a you call “0” zero. Often you have to wait for the entire question before saying your answer even when the question is “If this is correct say yes, if it is not say no” which is asked after every entry. Say yes too soon and you’re back at the beginning again. Then there is the annoying habit of switching to keypad entries at random points of the call. Ugh. 
 
Unlike computer or app payment services, there is no written confirmation of the transaction to either email or messages. In its place is the Confirmation  Number that could be 10 digits, maybe 15, possibly 25, spoken either very slowly with options to repeat it or at the speed of the world’s first talker once and then it disconnects. Ugh. 
 
Next year I’m doing auto-pay!
 
Now that bank story. Oh, maybe we’ll save it for another day. 
 
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That One Thing

Michael 5 Comments

As we enter December “Hooray, 2020 is almost over!” is moving to the top of everybody’s mental “Things to Be Thankful For” list. Should it be? The calendar is a few short weeks away from turning the big page to 2021, how much will be new in the New Year?

Come New Year’s Eve people will take part in the traditional announcing of their New Year’s Resolutions wishing for a fresh start to the fresh year in a positive frame of mind. With the concentration of negative news and events this year has given us, one day of wishing may not be enough. So here is the challenge: each day of December find one thing from 2020 that was a positive for you and resolve to repeat whatever actions you took then to make that happen again in 2021. Surely this can’t be done you say! How can anybody find 31 positive things that happened in 2020? Well, for one thing, it isn’t 1520.

By 1520 fifty-six million people, that’s 56,000,000 people, perished worldwide in the great smallpox pandemic. By comparison, so far in 2020 only 1.5 million have succumbed to CoViD-19. That is still a lot of people and the current pandemic will not end when the current year expires. Comparing again to the smallpox pandemic, that wave actually began in 1518 with few deaths.  Assisted by increased travel for trade and exploration, the variola virus easily made its way around the world with devastating effects, initiating the eventual loss of 40% of the Aztec empire population, over 8 million people, just 2 years later.

PlusBalThat was then, now is now. What good came out of 2020 for you other than being born 5 centuries later than your counterpart from 1520? Perhaps it was a new friendship you started with someone who was once “just a neighbor” when you found yourself spending more time on your front porch rather than at work and began trading tales of things you’d rather be doing. Perhaps it was a newfound hobby born of necessity like baking or of boredom like painting. These are the positives of 2020 that can become the resolutions for a better 2021. Talk to my neighbors more than a grunted “uh” is passing. Learn a new bread recipe and bake a loaf each month even if I can find plenty of bread on the store’s shelf. Read a book that has nothing to do with work, school, or that on-line book club I got roped into last April. Play a game of Clue without wishing I had the candlestick in the dining room RIGHT NOW! Buy a spin bike and work out at home with all the money I saved not paying for the gym membership I never used or even wanted to use until I couldn’t.

So … every day for the next thirty-one begin each day remembering one thing, just one thing that was good, that was a positive for you, that happened this year. In fact, just do 30. Take Christmas off. I will not be surprised that by New Year’s Eve you will have gone from struggling to remember one positive thing every morning to rattling off 30 new positive things each morning! Then you can start 2021 with the resolve that next year you will do it all over again – just the way you did this year.

Giving Thanks, 2020 Style

Michael 6 Comments

I want to wish all my friends an early Happy Thanksgiving, here in the US, and across the world. Every nation has some time during the year sort of celebration of gratitude when we give thanks for what we have. Here we picked late November. I suppose it works out well as a practice for the big meal coming up next month. Anyway, here’s my take on the very first American Thanksgiving which we know wasn’t late November, didn’t include turkey and cranberry sauce, and probably didn’t have any sweet pies for dessert. Never one to let the facts stand in the way of a good story though, we soldier on as if it’s always been this way. There has always been a reason to give thanks. There was in 1621, and believe it or not, there is in 2020 too. Happy Thanksgiving, and enjoy!

Across the United States people are preparing for Thanksgiving. Unlike previous years, this Thanksgiving appears on the surface to be fuller of doubt than gratitude. The CoViD-19 pandemic is raging causing major health issues and fueling uncertainty over the best way to mitigate its spread. Politicians are ranting, adding to divisiveness at a time when we should be celebrating, and mimicking the comradery it took to survive in the time of the earliest Thanksgivings. When past years’ preparations took place mostly in the country’s kitchens, this year’s preparations could be in the hands of tech support for video conferencing apps.

Thanksgiving 2020 will be markedly different from any other Thanksgiving in any of our lifetimes, but perhaps not too different from the Thanksgivings of the 1620s. Tradition holds the first “Thanksgiving” was held in 1621 in Plymouth Colony by the English colonists and the Wampanoag People in celebration of the colonists’ gratitude for surviving their first year there. Almost exactly 400 years ago, on November 19, 1620 the Mayflower neared Cape Cod. Two days later the Mayflower Compact, establishing the first self-governing colony in the New World was signed. That did not mean the Pilgrims were ready to build a statehouse and hold a Governor’s Ball. After over two months at sea, they had not yet landed, although land was in sight. Landfall at today’s Provincetown Harbor did not come until December 11 after having set sail from Plymouth England almost 3 full months earlier on September 16, 1620. Remarkably the little vessel made it across the Atlantic Ocean with all souls save one alive, just a lot of seasickness, scurvy, hunger and thirst. It wasn’t until they landed that things got really hard.

Over their first winter in the new colony, forty-five of the original 102 who set sail died, most from what is accepted now to have been leptospirosis, a zoonotic bacterial disease that for many exhibits only mild discomfort such as headache or muscle pain. Had they remained in the Old World they might not have fared better as the numbers of cases of tuberculosis and typhus were increasing in England and a reemergence of the black plague was working its way across northern Africa. Most of Europe was experiencing economic hardship and in some areas outright collapse as wars waged over exploration rights to New World in the west and supply line interruptions as the Ottoman Empire marched in the east. Though the colonists were far from the Old World and its problems, the New World presented its own. 

 The Mayflower colonists landed already at a disadvantage. They set foot on solid ground soon to be covered in snow. Their seafaring diet was heavily salt laden necessary for the food to last the three month voyage, weakening their muscles sorely needed to construct shelter before they succumbed to the elements. Most of the shelter erected in early winter was destroyed by fire and the colonists moved back onto the ship until spring. Those who survived the winter prepared land for plantings that was likely infested with the leptospira left behind in the urine of the local black rats, setting themselves up for a second wave of the deadly disease.

It wasn’t all bad news. In March of 1621 the colonists met the Wampanoag and signed a pact of coexistence about six weeks later. About that time the Fortune arrived with additional settlers and both ships returned with their crews to England, leaving the colonists (who the crewmembers were certain would starve) and their new treaty partners to survive alone. Survive they did and we continue today the tradition we are told began 399 years ago to give thanks for all we have.

Sometime between then and now, without know it, Charles Dickens may have summarized best why those early settlers would have been thankful and why today we should be even in such seemingly ungrateful times. “Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”

Like the earliest Thanksgiving revelers we are now also experiencing a possible second wave or more likely the resurgence of the wave that never left of a pandemic zoonotic infection, already weakened by a deadly first go-round with the disease. Just as in those times the distress extends beyond our corner of the world and we welcome reinforcement against the virus, today in the form of a vaccine. Also like those settlers had, there are strangers willing to help us now. They are the pharmaceutical chemists working on treatments and cures, epidemiologists developing the vaccines, and the anonymous volunteers participating in the vaccine trials. Closer to home there are others who are keeping radio and television stations and newspapers and other media outlets up and running to keep you informed. Closer still are the people stocking your supermarkets and pharmacies, staffing the police and fire stations, working the ambulances and emergency medical services, and working in hospitals and medical offices keeping you fed, safe and healthy, and there are the clergy, the priests, rabbis, ministers and other clerics maintaining all the houses of worship to serve your spiritual needs. And then there are you! The collective you, the strangers to somebody else, helping those you pass on the street or wait behind in line helping your neighbors. You are the helpful stranger mostly staying home unless you have to be out and then washing your hands, keeping your distance, and wearing your mask

When we reflect on our present blessings these strangers are certainly among them. Borrowing from another English writer, C. S. Lewis who told us, “Gratitude looks to the past and love to the present,” I speak for the masses when I say we are grateful for all you have done, and we love to see you are still helping today!

Why did the turkey cross the road?

Michael 4 Comments
Driving around here you might see just about anything on the road. Still, when a large turkey led a group of 3 others from one side of the road to the other that I happened to be motoring my way along one morning last week, the first thought I had was “hmm, turkeys.” The second thought was “Oh shit, she’s fast!” (I didn’t have time to consider all the possible gender permutations and for birds, those probably still stop at two) when this one wasted no time strolling over to my open window to see what that crazy human was doing stopped in the middle of where they wanted to walk and what was that thing I was aiming at her. (Or him.)
 
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After I got the window rolled up and the car back in gear and moving cautiously around the mini-brood I had my third thought. Why were the turkeys crossing the road? Why were they leaving the confines of high brush and much vegetation for the open back lot of a used car dealer? I didn’t think they were interested in a slightly used minivan but with turkeys who knows.
 
Some things I thought as the day wore on were:
 
They were released from a nearby turkey farm where the business was downsizing due to the anticipated lessened demand for turkeys, particularly the larger ones, this upcoming holiday season. Although … these seemed of the quite wild variety. Thus my next thought. 
 
They were visiting relatives still held captive at the nearby turkey farm and/or visiting said farm to attempt a release of said relatives due to the anticipated lessened demand for turkeys this upcoming holiday season.  But … that seemed somewhat implausible given that the average turkey is probably more intelligent than the average politician and therefore not given to such flights of fancy as to believe she (or he) (it?) could out talk a farmer, or talk a farmer out of a herd of turkeys. Herd? Flock? Bunch! On to the next thought. 
 
They were off to the large mega mart further up the road in the direction of their travel to take advantage of the discounted pricing of the fall version wrapper of snacks and candies to make way for the winter version wrapper for snacks and candies and in particular to score big on candy corn which has no winter equivalent. Then I realized I was on to something indeed! My final thought.
 
Why did the turkeys cross the road? To get to the candy corn! That perfect, super food that tastes better than kale and doesn’t stain like blueberries with it’s own holiday that’s not Halloween or Thanksgiving. (I know that’s all true because I read it on the Internet not just a year ago. In fact I know that’s true because I wrote it and posted it to the internet not just a year ago. All except the blueberry part. That’s new for this year. Always improving!)
 
So this Friday when you’re looking for something to celebrate other than the impending short reprieve of political ads, National Candy Corn Day is October 30 this year and every year. If you’re one of the weirdos who isn’t a fan of candy corn, cross the road and bring some to me. I’ll be busy looking up small turkey meal plans.
 
Gobble gobble!
 
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Oh Lord, Please Send Me a Sign!

Michael 3 Comments
It’s that time of year again. Leaves fall and campaign signs blossom. Can you say “blossom” in reference to weeds?
 
Any election brings out the signs like that’s going to push the undecided voter over somebody’s edge, but in a presidential election year the ever growing number of signs is beyond full bloom! Or full weed as the case may be. 
 
One would think one sign per candidate per yard should be sufficient. Several municipalities around here thought the same thing as ordinances had been considered limiting the number of signs that could be placed in a yard. Yep, that failed miserably. The local officials were willing, even passed some of those local laws. Candidates, committees, political parties, and “activist” groups petitioned courts, filed suits, and challenged rulings until the regulations were all either overturned, or withdrawn. All so we can drive past neighborhoods where trim colors on houses and flower beds are regulated but where 25, 30, even 40(!) identical signs can legally, if not esthetically, block our view of those houses and border plantings. 
 
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So it was nice to see something different while I was out on the road last week. A hug. A sign with a hug. Now there’s something that deserves a yes vote!
 
 

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Michael 4 Comments
It’s that time again. Actually tomorrow is that time again. Technically tomorrow morning, around 9:30 give or take is that time again. Specifically tomorrow morning around 9:30 if you live in the northern hemisphere is that time again. It’s fall! Autumn. The end of summer. The autumnal equinox. All that stuff. And flu shot time!!!
 
Yes it’s time for me to harass the unsuspecting, cajole the semi-suspecting, preach to the choir, and harangue whoever is left. Whomever? Whatever, just go get your flu shot.
 
The only legitimate reason to not getting a flu shot is because you don’t want to get a flu shot. And that isn’t. But really, if you don’t want want to get a flu shot just say you don’t want one, you don’t care that you may potentially infect billions of others, that you might contribute to trillions of dollars of economic losses or that you may be single handedly responsible for a facial tissue/acetaminophen shortage. But don’t say you will get sick, it doesn’t work, it’s too expensive, your doctor advises against it, or you are allergic to it.
 
Cue the harangue! 
 
Excuse 1. You won’t get sick from the shot. You might get sick at the same time you get the shot and if that happens you would have gotten sick had you not gotten the shot anyway. The other thing that might happen is you’ll have a slight reaction to it. Your arm will be sore because they are sticking a small neeedle in it. Yes, that will hurt. Get over it! You might feel chills a few hours after. That’s because you’re body is getting ready to make the antibodies. That will go away in an hour or two if you get it at all. You might be tired for 2 or 3 days. Again, that’s normal. Your body is working hard bulking up for the onslaught of flu viruses and that takes work. Don’t be a wimp! You won’t be any more tired than after a hard day at the gym or a hard night at the bar back in the day.
 
Number 2. It does work. With a few caveats. It is not a miracle cure. No vaccine is. (Keep that in mind when a COVID vaccine eventually reaches the public.) The flu virus changes and the folks making the vaccine have to think like a virus and decide what form it will take this year. (Keep that in mind at COVID vaccine time also.) Sometimes they hit the nail on the head and all ends up right in the world. Sometimes they are close and you might not completely escape the little buggers but what you get is much less severe than had you not gotten the shot and don’t ever forget the worst that could happen is death. Slow, fevered, shaking, quaking death.
 
fluNon-reason the Third. Even if you don’t have insurance you can get a free flu shot. Many hospital systems and county and state health departments have free flu shot days because it’s cheaper to give away a vaccine that to treat the disease. Some retail pharmacies give free flu shots and some give you a shopping coupon equal to your cost. If you have insurance you are covered. All insurance plans must cover vaccines. You might have to go to a doctor or clinic of your carrier’s choice and/or you may have a co-pay but you are covered.
 
Harangue Paragraph Four. If for some reason your doctor advises against a flu shot and you are certain he or she is a real doctor and didn’t just print a diploma down at Kinko’s, get a new doctor. You aren’t long for this world trusting your health to that person and not getting a flu shot is not increasing your odds.
 
Excuse the Fifth. There once was a time when egg allergies posed a serious limitation to the universal recommendation for flu shots. Likewise with gelatin and latex. Today’s flu shots are safe for almost all allergic patients. There are very very very very very very very very few exceptions. You may be one. You may also have won the Powerball. That does happen. If you are, you know you are and probably came close to death at some time and don’t want to do that again. 
 
Epilogue: Nothing is perfect. There are two groups of people who should not get the flu shot in addition to the analogous lucky lottery winner. Group 1 – If you are not yet six years old don’t get the flu shot. If you are not yet six years old and you are reading this immediately ask somebody to play the Powerball numbers you are thinking of right now! The second group of people who should not get the flu shot are a subgroup of those with Guillian-Barre Syndrome. If you have a history of Guillain-Barre Syndrome talk to your doctor specifically about the flu shot. (Doctors advising against the flu shot under these circumstances are exempt from Harangue Paragraph Four.)
 
A special word about immunosuppressed individuals (like me) and pregnant women (not like me). We know some vaccines for us can be as dangerous as getting the disease. These are the live virus vaccines. Some vaccines actually contain weakened strains of the virus and these can overrun the weakened immune system in these individuals. An example of this is the early form of the shingles vaccine. But the flu shot is not a live virus. All FDA approved injectable flu vaccines are inactivated vaccines with no live virus. However, the nasal form of the flu vaccine contains weakened strains of live virus and these should not be used by immunocompromised individuals or pregnant women whose immune systems are already working double time. But there is no reason for an immunosuppressed or immunocompromised person not to get an injectable form of the vaccine. The shot’s mild side effects may be exaggerated or prolonged but it is still very safe. I had my vaccine Friday and Friday night I had some chills and in Saturday I didn’t feel like doing much but by Sunday afternoon I was my old self. One of these days I’m going to feel like my young self and when that happens, look out world! Oh. Sorry. I digress.
 
A special word for everyone. If you are already sick don’t get your flu shot now. Wait until your cold or infection passes then get the flu shot. 
 
Now that all of that nonsense is out of the way, back to the business at hand. Do you remember when Fall would start on September 21? Fall was September 21, winter on December 21, Spring started March 21, and Summer came on June 21. Maybe the 22nd. None of this “Autumn begins at 9:31:27am September 22 when the sun is somewhere over the edge of the flat side of the world not visible by those perched on the pole pointing away from Venus while drinking a pumpkin latte on a horse drawn hay wagon.” Those were the good old days.
 
 

The Things you See

Michael 2 Comments
Every now and then I’ll pass a car on the road or in a parking lot with a dash cam. A car that is not a police vehicle. I’ve often thought why does ordinary Joe Driver need a dash cam.  I don’t know how Joe thinks but I think I figured out why I should get one. Your car is still the one place you can be and say “the things you see when you don’t have a camera.” Even with an ever present cell phone with 5 lenses and auto-zoom you miss that shot you need to prove “No, I’m not making this up!” In just one week I saw a custom license plate celebrating greed, a bumper sticker proclaiming selfishness and stupidity all in one, and evidence that apes can drive. Fortunately before I got home I also saw proof that there still is hope for humanity.
 
I did a whole post devoted to the state issued vanity plate experience. That was 8 years ago and the thought process people have behind their licences plate requests hasn’t changed much. Almost universally with custom plates one is convincing letters and numbers to approximate the word he or she wants. “IM L8” might explain why that car sped past you in the no passing zone. In that earlier post I mentioned one plate I saw that was an honest to gosh English word, ALIMONY. At the time I wrote, “Although it was on a fairly pricey vehicle it wasn’t on a true luxury car so maybe the owner could have worked out a still better deal.”  Perhaps somebody read that and got the idea from me. If so I would like to extend apologies to the payor whose support clearly is responsible for the Audi S6 with the plate ALEMONY. Apparently the previous plate is still in use and not available but as long as you’re soaking the ex, don’t let a little thing like spelling spoil the opportunity to rub it in at the same time.
 
Also affixed to the back of a vehicle, this one stuck to a slightly older crossover (is it a van, SUV, or station wagon?) idling ahead of me at a traffic light, was the bumper sticker demonstrating a while new level of selfishness, even for America. “I wouldn’t wear a mask if you were the last person on Earth” A most interesting sentiment. It went along with the other bumper stickers “I’d Rather Be At The Range” and “My kid can beat up your honor roll student” although the ones providing evidence that vehicle made it to “Sunny Florida 🌴” and “Walt Disney World” made for an interesting contrast. I had to think the “mask” sticker was a custom job because if it was mass produced, who ever was responsible wouldn’t have been that stupid. If “you” are the “last person on Earth” what does that say about the person who is not wearing the mask?
 
20200914_082114A dash cam might not have even picked up the evidence that not all drivers have evolved equally. This was the pick-up truck with the spiked wheels that pulled up beside me. Not spokes but spikes. Six inch long, tapered, metallic looking pointed spikes where each lug nut would be. My first thought was of the hot rods of the 1950s and the chopped roof and flame paintjob driven by the stereotypical bad boy but this was no throwback. This was a basic newer American made full size pick up truck but with weaponized wheels. I had to go in the Internet in search of a picture of something similar and actually found the very wheel although not the very truck. And that can only mean they are organizing. 
 
But the week ended on a more positive note, still one many people probably won’t believe without proof. I can tell you I saw it and I believe. There is still love in the world. While I turned into the drive of my complex I had to slow to allow the couple walking the road in front of me move off to the side. They weren’t youngsters these two, just entering a life together, nor were they an older couple who had been through decades of life side by side. They were approaching middle age, not quite there, often an age of some insecurity when questions of what’s next don’t always have clear answers. This couple was making it clear that whatever was next for them they were facing it together. In that day, at 11 something on a Saturday morning, these two 40-somethings representing the best of mankind were out taking a walk in public for all the world to see – and doing it hand in hand. 
 
Oh yes, the things you see…