Category Holidays

Reindeer Season

Michael Leave a comment

Not far from She of We there is a garden center that celebrates Christmas in a North Polian way. Among the decorations and the trees and the ciders sits Santa and his reindeer. Maybe, or maybe just antlered deer so common to the area. Doesn’t really matter. What matters is for 30 years parents have brought their children not only to see Santa but to see how he got there, how to feed his team, and how to act around large live animals while those parents picked their trees, selected a few new decorations and spiked their ciders. It was a win, win, win, win.
It was a big win for those deer since the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas is also know in our state as antlered deer season. These guys weren’t cavorting in the woods being led to their demise by female deer scents and dodging the ultimate bullet. They had a job. Like us they might not have been wild about their job but it beat being dead.
So that paragraph was all in past tense. Did the garden center close? Nope. Did they lay off Santa and thus Santa had no need for daily transportation? Not that either. Did Santa fall for the TV commercial and trade in his eight tiny reindeer for eight shiny new Mercedes? Uh-uh. PETA (you know them – the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals – yeah, right) decided there isn’t enough controversy surrounding Christmas and whether or not to allow crèches where human beings might actually see them and then decided they should, would, and did target this inoffensive family owned garden center as animal haters. You see, the deer were kept behind fences. Sort of keeping them from wandering onto the main highway through that part of town and having to worry now about dodging a Dodge.
PETA won, there are now eight more deer in the woods for the hunters who missed all the others and now Santa has to get to the garden center on public transportation. (He spends all his money giving away toys. He can’t afford a Mercedes!)
Personally, we love our animals. We keep them indoors to protect them from the elements, feed them animal food when they get hungry, and take them to animal doctors when they get sick. And every now and then we like to pretend eight of them actually pull Santa’s sleigh across the world spreading joy where us common people messed up. He seems to be wild about his job and knows darned well it beats being dead.
Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

If not God, then who?

Michael Leave a comment

This week saw the outside Christmas display erected at He of We’s.  Display and erected may be a little ambitious for what is out there.  A few small trees and some white lights bunched behind a primitive painting of the Nativity.  Fortunately those expounding separating our state from our church haven’t wandered down He’s street where the birth of the Son of God is being celebrated en masse.

It’s the time of year for pretty trees and bright decorations, for Nativities from living to foam, for carolers and revelers.   It’s also the time of year many Americans get crazy over political correctness.  Yes there are still corporate memos distributed that say if you want to extend holiday greetings during the holiday season then those are the words you should use, “Holiday greetings.”  But exactly what holiday is it that we are celebrating…Black Friday?

This year things are looking up for those who recognize the four freedoms include freedom OF religion (versus freedom FROM religion).  A move is actually being made even by some politicians to recognize that the country was built on Judeo-Christian values and that we should start celebrating them.  This includes a push to have the country’s motto displayed at public buildings including schools right there next to the country’s flag.  It’s getting a little response from the anti-God groups but nothing like making sure we say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas.

The motto itself is encouraging.  It’s not from the 1700’s when everybody included God.  It actually wasn’t adopted until 1956 when the country was coming out of back to back wars, revving up for another one, and needed God.  It was about that same time, in 1954, that the words “under God” were added to the Pledge of Allegiance.  It was a time that America wasn’t afraid to recognize a Supreme Being.

What is that motto, anyway?  It’s funny, we make sure it’s on our money, we just don’t talk about it much.  In God we trust.  It seems simple enough, especially at this time of year.  After all, if not God, then who?

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

(Two years ago we wrote our first controversial post, not from our perspective but some thought so.  We thought it was a very thoughtful and meaningful.  We held off publishing it for a few weeks so we wouldn’t add to the holiday fuel of Happy Holidays versus Merry Christmas.  It’s still a good read.  It’s a long read but we invite you to travel back in time with us and see why some truths are still self-evident.  “We Hold These Truths,” is from January 13, 2012 in Uncategorized.)

 

How Live Is It?

Michael 1 Comment

Two years we began the debate between live and artificial trees.  We liked it so well we repeated it last year.  (See “Is It Live or…” Nov. 28, 2011 in Life.) Little did we know there was a third choice.

On last week’s television show “The Shark Tank” a budding entrepreneur presented a business opportunity of renting live, potted Christmas trees.  They are delivered to the tree-wanter a few weeks before Christmas and picked up shortly after the holiday.  It seemed like an interesting idea even if it was available only to California Christmas celebrators and deserved some investigation.  But first, let’s see what we’ve traditionally had available for our holiday arbor traditions … traditionally spoken.

He of We has a couple of artificial trees to spread about his house.  One very large tree runs to the top of the high vaulted ceiling of its chosen room, another shorter one does its thing in the low ceilinged part of the house.  Neither would be mistaken for a live tree, with or without a pot, but they do their thing with gusto and when painstakingly decorated provide the necessary merriment for the season.  The big one looks fairly realistic and for the $300 original price tag it should.  He being frugal bought it after Christmas many years ago and dropped quite a bit less than $100 on it.  His diluted annual investment distributed over 15 years is about five tree dollars per tree year.  She of We has an artificial tree that looks more live than pretend, fills her bay window from top to bottom and side to side, and when decorated with her all glass ornaments looks like a million bucks although her diluted annual tree cost is about the same.

Last week the “live” tree lots around here opened and fresh cut trees (fresh is their word) run from $29 to $59 depending on variety and size.  You could also opt for one sold by one of the local volunteer fire companies and with delivery sometimes included, sometimes extra, but almost always available.  If you think more is better there are even mail order tree farms that will ship you a fresh cut (fresh is their word) for about twice what you would pay if you went to a local lot and strapped your selection to your own car/van/SUV/crossover roof.  Stick with the locals and your annual tree cost after agreeing to a live wreath and some live garland gets to about 85 tree dollars.

There are clearly no shortages of trees for the holidays whether boxed and pre-lit or chopped from somewhere around our neck of the woods for our neck of the woods.  You can even do your own chopping if you like.  Chopping comes at a premium starting at about $50 and then priced extra per foot for trees over 5 feet.  We hear it’s good exercise.  Wreaths, garland, door swags, cider, eggnog, and bandages are extra.

Now let’s get back to these potted living trees that give new meaning to the word live when associated with Christmas trees and December.  He did a quick search on the Internet and found said entrepreneur who is festooning California with potted plants for the holidays.  He also found several others.  Of course since they rely on local delivery and pick up if you aren’t fortunate enough to live in California or Oregon where the tree potters thrive, you’ll miss out on trying to keep a live tree living throughout the season.  Checking out the prices of these living trees he found them somewhere between those on the local lots and the new in the box.  An average price for an average tree seemed to be about $100 with about another $50 to get it to and from.  That clearly is the most expensive yearly outlay for your tree dollars but it’s your holiday bonus and you can spend it however you like.

So the question is no longer “Is It Live,” but “How Live Is It.”  It’s not a bad idea and there are probably more places around the country than just the few that made Internet history.  Now with three choices our warnings from years past still go.  Don‘t be a newscast waiting to happen.  Decorate safely, don’t overload your circuits, and may the only smoke anyone should see on Christmas Eve is that from the stump of the pipe held in Santa’s teeth while encircling his head just like a wreath.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Thanks Again

Michael Leave a comment

It’s Thanksgiving again.  Happy Thanksgiving.  Did something happen earlier this year that makes you particularly thankful at this time of the year?  Probably.  Some might be very dramatic.  Somewhere someone was spared from certain death in a horrible fiery one car crash and is thankful to have made it through another year.  Some might be almost unnoticeable.  That person who tossed an extra dollar in a child’s collection can to pay for holiday meals for those who wouldn’t otherwise have one and give thanks every day that they made it through another day.

In past years we’ve tried to find all those who can’t take a day off because they are essential to keeping things running smoothly while others take the day off and often never notice those still serving.  They are amazing stories and deserve special thanks.  (See “Thank You,” Nov. 24, 2011 and “Thank You, Again,” Nov. 22, 2012.)

Now those are the easy “thank you”s.  The hard ones are for the rest of us.  The holiday may be called ThanksGIVING but if not for what was GIVEN we can’t appreciate the joy of being special to someone and a target of his or her special gratitude.  What have you done that someone can thank you for?

Each of us has an amazing story since last year’s celebration and a special thank you to give at this year’s.  The really amazing stories are in the special thank you that you have been given.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

Black All Day Every Day, 24/7, 365

Michael Leave a comment

In general, we’re not Black Friday bashers particularly when it restricts itself to Fridays.  But those who plan these things are really taking the American public for a bunch of morons.  Perhaps we deserve it.

Last year we got to deal with Cyber Week versus the boring standard of just one old lonely Cyber Monday.  (See “Welcome to Black Cyber Month,” Nov. 30, 2012 in Holidays.)  We have to wait a week to see what they will call it now especially that most retailers have extended Black Friday specials to their on-line shops.  I guess we’re supposed to sit at our desk chairs after Thanksgiving dinner waiting for the prices to magically drop.

If you don’t want to wait until Thursday night to take advantage of the Black Friday deals you can go out Thursday morning.  Yep, most of the retailers are now having Thanksgiving specials from 7am to 4pm before closing for a couple hours (we guess so the worker bees can rush home to say a blessing, give their thanks, and swallow a few pounds of the holiday feast).  At 6pm those same stores will re-open with the Black Friday specials which if you compare ad fliers look suspiciously like the earlier sales.  The question is, why bother with the charade of closing for those couple hours.  Do you really think the American public is so dumb they will go out once in the morning for one sale and then again in the evening for a “different” sale.  Hmm.

One flyer in this week’s Sunday paper that stood out was the one touting Black Friday pricing all week long.  That even beat the one with BFS (Black Friday Specials) beginning Tuesday, not to mention the one that had special selections available Wednesday.  None of these were car dealerships which have been advertising Black Friday deals all month.

We have an idea we’d like to pass along to the CEOs of the various solicitors of own hard earned money.  How about one price all year, every year?  When you get tired of selling a particular brand you can have a clearance sale but other than that, just one price.  Last week there were the pre-Thanksgiving sales.  The week before that were the post-Halloween sales.  A couple weeks before those were the fall festival sales.  And three weeks from now will be the pre-Christmas sales.  Are those prices really all that much different?  One price per item all day, every day, 24/7, 365.

And you won’t even have to compare “thousands of prices every week” to see that your customers get the best deal or you’ll refund the difference.  Just start out with the best deal.  It worked for Saturn.  Umm, we’ll get back to you on that.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Prepping for Halloween

Michael Leave a comment

Tonight is All Hallows’ Eve, better known as Halloween, better known still as Trick or Treat.  It’s a holiday, a festival, a night out for the children, but darned if we don’t enjoy it too.  No, not at costumes parties.  At the front door watching the little ones parade up and down the street.

She of We doesn’t see many trick or treaters.  Other than a next door neighbor, all the little ones have grown into real adults.  But her porch is still festive for the day.  Scarecrows greet you from the street to the door.  Number Two Son of She has turned into a pumpkin carving expert, pairing up two carved gourds as kid friendly couples ala Woody and Buzz Lightyear to the children’s delight.  He of We mounds some plastic pumpkins for a less labor intense look.  They are all different but all say the same.  Come on up and let us treat you.

Now, pumpkin carving, mum selecting, hay stack gathering all notwithstanding, the hardest part of prepping for Halloween is selecting the treats.  So many choices.  Do you go with full size candy bars and let word spread down the blocks that yours is the house to visit?  Do you go for fun size and insist that each T-n-T-er take several at your one stop variety shop?  Do you have treats targeted to specific age groups knowing the smallest of the crowd, those carried in a patient parent’s arms, will not appreciate the same caramel filled goodies as the six your olds?  So many choices.  And then there is the quantity.  You don’t want to run out but how much is enough.  Will impending foul weather shrink your number of visitors?  Will you need more for a projected 50 degree night than if it were a 30 degree evening?

Yes, here is where the real planning takes shape.  You know you’ve hit it right when you turn off the light, close the door, and have a piece left for each treat distributor.  Of course, if you should happen to have a few hundred pieces left over, well, it’s not right to waste food.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Will the Real St. Valentine Please Stand Up

Michael Leave a comment

Sunday evening we were at home having our Valentine’s Day dinner.  (Steak au poivre, green beans sautéed in butter and olive oil with onions and mushrooms, baked potato with a pepper cream sauce, and a salad of mixed greens with strawberries, walnuts, and feta.  We never made it to dessert.) (Yes, we go out a lot but we still know how to cook and cook we do when it’s a truly special occasion.)  Work schedules and other conflicts forced us to hold our celebration off for a few days.  It happens.  And it was worth the wait.      

While we were dining we wondered what is it about this Valentine guy that has made greeting card companies, florists, jewelers, and for some, restaurants so much money around the globe and over the years.  The most common story is that of Valentine, priest and martyr of third century Rome during the reign of Claudius II, also known as Claudius the Cruel.  He believed that his army was not giving its all because the men were more attached to their wives and families than to their emperor.  To solve that little problem he banned marriages.  No marriages, no families, strong fighting men.  He didn’t count on Valentine still performing marriage ceremonies even under the ban.  Valentine was imprisoned and ordered to be executed.  While in prison Valentine became enamored with the daughter of his jailer and legend goes on to say that on his last day in prison he wrote her a farewell letter and signed it, “With Love, Your Valentine.”

We sort of like that story.  It has a love interest, a creepy villain, a secret plot twist (priests aren’t supposed to fall in love with women, even in the late 200’s), and a story that hangs around even after almost 1,750 years.  But there are other stories.  There were other Valentine’s, other Valentines who were priests, and other Valentines who were martyred and became saints.  We still like that story.  And it is St. Valentine of Rome whose feast day was set to the day of his execution, February 14.

But how did that get from there to a Hallmark moment?  Let’s fast forward some 1100 years from the 270’s to the 1370’s and to English poet Geoffrey Chaucer.  In the poem Parliament of Foules he wrote, “For this was sent on Seynt Valentyne’s day Whan every foul cometh ther to choose his mate” and thus linked February 14 as the day we go in search of our best link.  In fact, it was already becoming common in late 13th and 14th century England and France for lovers to exchange letters, poems, and gifts in mid-February as the weather lightened.

There are many Valentines who have been canonized by many Popes over many years. (There was even a Pope Valentine.  He served for only 40 days in 827.)  In all there are 12 St. Valentines, the most recent, St. Valentine Berrio-Ochoa, a Spaniard who served as bishop in Vietnam until his beheading in 1861, was elevated to sainthood by John Paul II in 1988.  Twelve Valentine’s, twelve months.  We didn’t do the research but you can probably find a St. Valentine Day almost any time of the year if you, like us, were busy on February 14.    

Then, when you have another one as special as we have in each other, every day can be a day to celebrate your love for each other, even if it isn’t the real Valentine’s Day.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Resolving to Keep It Real

Michael 2 Comments

Last year the Monday adjacent to New Year’s Day was actually January 2.  We called it the day resolutions die and posed that if we made our annual resolutions more toward a climatic re-awakening, say the beginning of spring, we’d be more likely to keep them for more than 24 hours.  So last year we made our resolution to make our resolutions come spring.  (See Be It Resolved, Jan. 2, 2012.)  How did we do?

Let’s pick two.  When we finally got around to making those resolutions She of We felt she was watching too much television and to combat that would read more.  Well she’s reading more but still feels she watches too much television.  He of We clearly needed more exercise and by the time spring rolled around had a positive plan.  That was to walk the local high school football field every morning before work. Well he walked some for about a month but that was still better than just 24 hours.  (See Be It Further Resolved, March 22, 2012.)  The real question is, was delaying resolution making successful in making rational, keepable resolutions?  Really, not much.

So here we are, back to another winter Monday and this time it’s New Year’s Eve, the day resolutions are made.  Will we?  We have some time to think about.  We might.  We still know January is a terrible time to start a new year.  But we also know we need to still exercise more no matter if we’re at the beginning, middle, or end of the year.  We know we need to still keep our minds nimble no matter if it’s hot, cold, or comfortable outside.  And we need to spend less, save more, and eat better.  Do we need resolutions for those?  Really, not much.

We like the idea of not making any serious goals while it’s only 20 degrees outside.  The mind is challenged enough at the holidays and New Year’s Day is still best suited for continuing the stress of the holiday period.  That hasn’t changed from last year.  But we think we can come up with a few rational, keepable resolutions. 

We resolve to keep having fun.  We resolve to work on the hard stuff later.  We resolve to keep you posted on how we’re doing with both.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

The Gift of Music

Michael Leave a comment

What do pumpkin cakes, ceramic penguins, dip dishes (with dip mixes in 2 flavors!), and holiday CDs have in common?  After tonight they will have all been party favors at our Christmas Eve dinner.

Christmas Eve is a special time for us.  It was the first holiday that we combined families at a formal gathering.  It was the first holiday that we lightened up a formal gathering.  And it’s probably the holiday that almost everybody most looks forward to.

Christmas Eve has also become a holiday that we never know exactly how many people will be with us.  Our core families will be there.  But there always is at least one extra couple and never invited by Either of We.  We don’t care.  There’s always room at the table.  But it makes those favors a bit interesting.  This year we decided on holiday music CDs.  You can’t beat a good Christmas Carol.  We have the gamut from Carol of the Bells to Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.  We’re planning on 10 at the table but we got 14 CDs because we’re never really sure.

A formal dinner for 14 might seem a bit extravagant to begin with.  Neither of We hit the rich mark in the ‘how well off are you’ scale.  We still manage to put together a traditional Italian feast of the seven fishes (for He of We’s side) and a traditional seafood themed American Christmas Eve (at She of We’s urging and to the great relief of many on He or We’s side).  With all that seafood, how do we manage to put together a dozen unique favors especially when they are favoring our guests with the gift of music, usually not an inexpensive offering.  He of We will take credit for that one.

We were out shopping and not even thinking of favors for Christmas Eve.  We had just finished up with Thanksgiving and were trying to shift ourselves from one holiday to another.  We ended up in one of our favorite, but not routinely visited stores.  It has literally everything.  Water heaters, garden flags, canned goods and canning goods.  Local sports teams doo-dads and needlework craft sets.  Hoses and hooks.  Books and — CDs.  While checking out the holiday themed flashlights He of We spotted a pair of spinner racks at the end of an aisle.  Thereupon sat hundreds of CDs.  All Christmas music, all the time.  And every one of them priced at one dollar.  One hundred cents, ten thin dimes, a buck a piece.  They had “favor” written all over them.

But (isn’t there always a but in a perfectly good favor find?), but, who gets what?  Who likes what?  We have a most eclectic Christmas Eve group.  We run the gamut from refined, retired ladies to a couple who met on an oil drilling rig.  Not to say that a well driller isn’t refined.  But there are probably differences in musical taste.  Do they get the CD with Mariah Carey, or the one with the studio group singing “Good King What’s His Name?”  And not only is the group eclectic.  So are the CDs.  Let’s face it, these are dollar CDs.  You aren’t getting the Mormon Tabernacle Choir for a dollar.  Well, actually, now, there were two of them that had selections sung by just that choir.  And some had Glen Campbell.  There were those with the London Symphony and there were those while listening you could Swing and Sway with Sammy Kaye.  Every case we turned we saw names we’d not imagine would see on a dollar CD.  Every couple of cases would actually bring out a little vocalization.  Yes, people did turn when She of We waved one she found with Liberace!  Most probably because she shouted, “Liberace!”

So we stood there, Each of We stationed at a spinner, sorting through the jewel cases like little kids picking out candy in the corner store.  Would this one work for She of We’s 28 year old son.  What about He of We’s cousin who grew up at the symphony.  Does anybody like country?  Does anybody like operatic?  Which semi-regular couple friend of a relative will show up this year?  Plan for both, we’ll never get another chance.  How could we resist?  It’s hard enough to be creative but to be creative on a budget is a million times harder.  To be creative for over a dozen people for less than a 20 dollar bill was a Christmas miracle.

Almost an hour later we were done.  Fourteen individual CDs plus a couple for our cars.  If you were to show up at our table this evening we’d probably have something to fit your taste.  You’d get something.  Everybody gets something.  It’s a rule.  And if you bring a lot of friends with you everybody will still get something.  We might run out of CDs but there are always the holiday crackers.  Maybe you’ll be the lucky one to sit through dinner wearing the paper hat.

Remember, everybody gets something.  It’s the rule!

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

And if you order now…

Michael 2 Comments

‘Tis the season for catalog shopping. No, you’re not having déjà vu. That is the way we opened our last blog. But, it really is the season for catalog shopping and today we bring you our long awaited annual holiday gift guide. You’ll recall a few posts ago we teased you with a couple early favorites – the rechargeable illuminated wrenches with stand for $79.95 and the home cellulite smoother kit at $1,500 plus shipping. (See Welcome to Black Cyber Month (Nov. 30, 2012.) Those are intriguing but don’t compare to last year’s pick, the Optimal Resonance Audiophile Four-Way Three-Dimensional Soundstage Quality Speaker at the low, low price of $60,000 for the pair. (See Buy the Way, Dec. 1, 2011.) What will this year’s top catalog pick be?

None of our catalogs has anything close to the $60,000 price tag of that space saving yet concert hall replicating powerful gem of a speaker set. Perhaps retailers feel American shoppers are saving more than spending this year. Or else, since Neither of We ordered anything from them we weren’t graced with the Truly Extravagant line this year. For whatever reason, we have a more modest selection for you this year.

Perhaps you’ve lost your dog for the last time and you aren’t going to run all over the neighborhood trying to track the canine escapist. No need to. Let the satellites track your pooch while you check out the progress at your computer desk. Yes it’s a GPS tracking device for your dog. It’s a collar. It’s a transmitter. It’s water resistant (important for dogs in flight). It’s only $95 with the first three months of tracking service included. Try as we might, we just couldn’t find the regular price for the service after the first three months.

If you want to chase your runaway the old fashioned way but you live in Blizzardville, fear not. Snowshoes are just an order away. What? You can get snowshoes at the local snow shoe emporium, you say. Perhaps so but not in 8 designer colors and in family packs. Get the whole family out looking. A set of 4 for Mom, Dad, and 2 of the 2.3 children start at $470.

Just can’t stay out of touch? How about a watch for him or a bracelet for her that connects via Blue Tooth to your phone and vibrates whenever a call or text message is received. You can check out the display and nobody at your conference table will think you’re distracted by checking on your phone all the time. You may have to explain why you keep checking your watch instead. Starting at $109.99

All these might be terrific gifts for someone on your Nice List. Our favorite though, is the folding electric bicycle. Reaching speeds of up to 14 miles per hour and running for up to 2 hours on a single charge, it’s the perfect way to get away if you don’t want to get away too far. It’s your for only $5,000 plus $300 shipping.

We wonder if it comes assembled.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?