Category Holidays

The Groundhog and the Chicken

Michael Leave a comment

One thing that makes this country great is our sense of tradition. Granted we’re homing in on only 240 years of tradition and not the thousands you see in Europe or the tens of thousands in the very cradle of civilization but I’m still quite happy with our couple hundred years. And now it’s under attack – and it’s under attack by some of our very own people, the marshmallow peeps people who are trying to take over the groundhog’s God-given right to tell us when spring will begin.

Yes, the folks at Just Born Candy, makers of those cloyingly sweet, overly sticky, artificially colored candy barnyard animal facsimiles are trying to dethrone Punxsutawney Phil as Pennsylvania’s, as America’s, as the world’s number one prognosticator of the commencement of Spring. For 230 of America’s 239 springs, Phil has been the constant by which people have determined whether it’s safe to venture out or remain sheltered for six more weeks.

So universal is Phil’s attraction that official chapters of the Groundhog Club are found across the globe. So loved is Phil that over 30,000 people visit the small town of Punxsutawney situated in western Pennsylvania not far from the Allegheny National Forest to catch a glimpse of Phil emerging from his tree stump on Gobbler’s Knob.

Now the eastern Pennsylvania candy-makers claim their mascot is the true sign of the coming of Spring coinciding with the arrival of their marshmallow Peeps in stores. What a bunch of greedy hogwash if you’ll excuse my frankness. Those silly, sickly sweet confections are in the stores year round. There are peeps masquerading as marshmallow ghosts, Christmas trees, hearts, cherries, bunnies, and snowmen. Phil knows when his job is done he gets to take a well-deserved rest and chill out for the rest of the year content in the knowledge that he doesn’t have to try to invade our lives lest we forget his contribution to society.

Peeps versus Phil. How ridiculous! We’re supposed to substitute a fake chicken for a real groundhog? Ludicrous. Who ever heard of a ground chicken? Hmmm, ground chicken. Now that might be worth pursuing!

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Clearly you can tell I’m more than a bit passionate about Punxsutawney Phil. So much so that the only picture in the entire blog is of him, sort of. That little guy has made it into close to a dozen RRSB posts making him a Real Reality frequent flyer. See his debut – and his “picture” – here (Six Weeks, Feb. 2, 2012).

On the Tenth Day of Christmas my True Love Gave to Me – Ten items or less, cash only.

Michael 2 Comments

Four days into the New Year. Now would be a good time to get back to normal. If you’ve been reading for a while you know that I am still in the midst of the holiday season. I won’t de-holiday until the Feast of the Epiphany, counting through all of the proverbial twelve days and marking the presentation of gifts by the Wise Men. It’s a quaint custom observed by few.

But some customs I’ll be glad to see go and the sooner the better. I would give a present a day for each of those aforementioned twelve to not have to spend 45 minutes in the checkout line at the grocery store. I can see the specialty shops being busier than normal during the holidays but for the life of me I don’t understand how an everyday, ordinary supermarket turns into Mecca between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day. Where do all the people come from, why are they concentrating so intently at the produce as if they are perusing the masterpieces at the Louvre, and please tell me where do these people shop the rest of the year?

You can’t say they are there more because they need more during the holidays. That argument only works if you can say that someone who normally buys 1 pound of coffee but because there will be guests now needs 3 pounds of coffee that the someone will make three trips in to buy three one-pound containers of coffee.  You can’t say it’s because they are buying more and different things to eat over the holidays. They aren’t; they are substituting. Instead of buying a pack of chicken breast they are buying a whole turkey. Instead of stew meat they are reaching for a standing rib roast. Whether the green beans end up sautéed with onions and mushrooms or baked into a casserole with fried onions on top they are still just a pound of green beans.

Yes, I’ll be glad to see my store return to its pre-holiday emptiness with the only waiting done at checkout is for the cashier to ask how things are going this week.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Counting It Down

Michael Leave a comment

To prepare for the new year, here is my countdown.

10. Next year, try something new. If you’re really ambitious you might want to try 12 somethings. It (or they) could be anything – try a food you never had, go dancing if you never had, go to a movie if you never had. See a baseball game, read a new author, go bowling. Twelve new things over the course of a whole year. That comes to just one a month. You can do it.

9. When you think of those you encountered this year, think of them kindly. Chances are you’re either going to run across them or at least think of them again next year. It’s so much nicer to remember good stuff.

8. It is never so bad that you can’t make it worse. Regular readers will remember that as one of the sayings I’d like to see on a wall plaque, t-shirt, screen saver, or anywhere I can see it on a daily basis. I may make this my mantra for 2016, reciting it upon waking every day to remind myself to not screw things up. Again.

7. Sing in the shower.

6. Be tolerant. Nobody is ever going to be exactly the person you want. On the other hand, you’re never going to be that person for anybody else.

5. Don’t compromise. When you compromise, everybody loses. Do collaborate. When you collaborate everybody gets in on the fun!

4. Pray, meditate, contemplate, reflect, wonder.

3. Sleep late sometime, lay there and enjoy not doing almost anything. Get up early sometime, lay there and enjoy getting ready to do almost anything.

2. Don’t wait for another New Year’s Eve to plan new resolutions. Resolve to be better more than once a year.

1.Have a Happy New Year all year long!

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

‘Twas the Day Before Christmas

Michael Leave a comment

It’s here, Christmas Eve. Why is it that to kids Christmas seems to take forever to get here but to adults Christmas is here before we know it? For both groups, Christmas is pretty much on the horizon.

There’s actually a third group. It seems the older I get, Christmas is getting to taking longer to get here again. Years ago there was a whole house to decorate, a tree in every room (yes, even THAT one), lights across the roofline, in the trees and stretched along the drive, wreaths in every window and a big one on the front of the house, toys to assemble, and gifts to wrap. And then there was the cooking and baking. No wonder Christmas was so soon upon me.

Then, little by little, light by light, cookie by cookie, things started to quiet down. Without recounting every step along the way, I’ve made it to this Christmas with three trees, two wreaths, and a partridge in a pea……..um, and one table centerpiece. (I still have all 34 nativities out but that’s the cross that I bear.) There are only a handful of presents to wrap and none of them require assembly. Baking cookies is now in my daughter‘s domain. Thus I am left with more time to enjoy Christmas movies and music, to actually see the lights out on the horizon, and to just plain anticipate the big event.

And that event is pretty special.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Thinking Zebras -or- The Great Annual Christmas Catalog Shopping Guide 2015 Edition

Michael Leave a comment

Here it is, what you’ve been waiting for, the annual, official, one of a kind, nothing else like it, here for this year, the great, the yearly, the Christmas catalog shopping guide for 2015. Whew!

I’m going to have to consider changing the name of the Guide. Catalogs, although still a favorite reader for keeping on the coffee table for use during hockey intermissions, are going the way of corded telephones and VCRs. They are being usurped by their e-mail brethren and show up not once or twice a season but once or twice a day. Yet the over-riding intent is the same, to tempt you into buying the stuff that you have absolutely no idea they even made.

You don’t need me to guide you to radio controlled fishing boats, inflatable radio controlled minions, or sound activated dancing water portable speakers. No, the guide this year returns to the land of excess.

What can be more excessive than a replica Stanley Cup popcorn maker for a mere $99.99 (the popcorn maker is real, it’s the Stanley Cup that is the replica)? How about a motorized, rideable drinks cooler for a mere-er $999.95. You say you want something more sophisticated than hockey and beer? There is always the world’s largest Scrabble game. At over 7 feet by 8 feet this game will keep you on your toes – while reaching to spell a word. It can be under your tree for only $12,000, shipping extra.

The 2011 Guide featured what was then the most expensive item to appear in a catalog that appeared in my mailbox. That was the Optimal Resonance Audiophile Four-Way Three-Dimensional Soundstage Quality Speakers at an amazingly unrealistic $60,000.  Why I would get a catalog with items priced at more than I paid for my last 3 cars combined I don’t know. For some reason, I continue to get mail from that company. This year, we top that by better than half. The new official most expensive item in a holiday gift guide that was sent to me (still, why?) is at $185,000 a game. They call it a simulator but it’s an arcade game for your home, a race simulator mimicking 12 different types of race cars on a variety of track and conditions. Plan on having a 6 x 8 foot space cleared out in the family room for this gem.  You should know this “car” has manual transmission. You might want to buy a beater at the local used car lot to practice your shifting if you haven’t been in a stick lately.

About the title. If spending 30-some years working in the medical field taught me anything it was never discount the obvious. We, and probably many other professions, had a saying. When you hear hooves, think horses not zebras. One of the first holiday mailings I received this year proudly displayed this year’s hottest gift for your most precocious toddler. You know, the one for whom an ordinary rocking horse just won’t do. For that little tyke, the gift (that would be THE gift) is the hand carved rocking zebra. A steal at $9,000.

It’s Christmas. Discount the obvious.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Want to see past Christmas Catalog Gift Guides?
2014 – The Great Annual Christmas Catalog Shopping Guide
2012 – And If You Order Now
2011 – Buy the Way

 

Does this sweater make me look fat?

Michael Leave a comment

You have one more week to plan for it. National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day is next Friday, December 18. Those of you in a different nation do not fret. Even though titled “National,” the Ugly Christmas Sweater Day event is celebrated the third Friday of December worldwide.

Celebrate is certainly appropriate. Only in its fifth official unofficial year it has sparked a national 5K run benefitting Save the Children and a once a year excuse to wear something comfortable to work.

I think it’s your basic tons of fun (or kilograms of cool for those metrically inclined). But this is from someone who used to wear a tux, top hat, and groundhog lapel plush to work every February 2. Wearing a brightly (and sometimes lighted) pullover to work is almost conservative dress.

What I don’t understand is why we insist on calling it an “Ugly Christmas Sweater?” They may be loudly colored, gaudily patterned, and outrageously unflattering but that doesn’t make them ugly. Indeed, ugly and Christmas are two words that just don’t go together.

Not at all. Not at all indeed.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Brown is the New Gold

Michael Leave a comment

NOTE: My apologies. Obviously those of you who like brownies know that National Brownie Day is December 8, not the generic “tomorrow” stated here. This wasn’t supposed to be released until Monday, Dec. 7. (It hadn’t even been proofed don’t you know!) Even in the best of worlds, things get screwed up and I’m hardly the best in this world – or any other even. Anyway, During this time we all get way too much in our e-mails so to give you who follow the RRSB at least a little break, I’ve held back what should have been posted today until Monday, and here today is the final (and finally proof-read) version of Brown is the New Gold. And it’s only 4 days early – but you don’t need me to tell you that! Have a great weekend.

——————–

There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who like brownies and somebody else somewhere.

Pity poor Gingerbread Man. This close to Christmas, Mr. Man’s main season, and he has to follow National Brownie Day. That’s right, tomorrow is National Brownie Day but since you’re one of those who like brownies, you don’t need me to tell you that.

I don’t think anybody really knows exactly who started baking brownies. There is that cute story about the wife of the guy who owned the Palmer House in Chicago (that would be Mrs. Palmer the wife of Mr. Palmer who owned the Palmer House in Chicago) who needed a unique dessert for a women’s group (that would be Mrs. Palmer) so he (Mr. Palmer) asked the Palmer House chef to make something unique. Just like that. And just like that he did. But that was like in 1902 and there seemed to be recipes floating around for brownies since 1894 but you don’t need me to tell you that.

Of course, those early, early brownies were more like today’s blondies which had and still have no chocolate so how can they be brownies even though they use brown sugar or maybe back then molasses which is how you make brown sugar and that could be the origin of the name brownie but you don’t need me to tell you that.

The first recipes for brownies with chocolate seemed to show up sometime between 1899 and 1904 which put Mrs. Palmer’s unique dessert right in the middle of it all but of course, as one of those who do rather than the one somebody else, you don’t need me to tell you that. (Did you ever notice that even though unique is a dandy Scrabble word you never get the other tiles you need when you draw the Q?) (But I digress.)

I think that brownies are probably the universal dessert because you can make them however you like – chewy, cakey, with nuts, without nuts, with powdered sugar, with chocolate icing, with nothing at all, with whatever strikes your fancy. Or your plain. But then, you don’t need me to tell you that.

But I’ll tell you this, it doesn’t get any better than that. Happy Brownie Day!

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

The names change…

Michael Leave a comment

You all know that I am not fond of Black Friday. I don’t mind the crowds or the sales or the bustling hustle. I really don’t even care that stores open on Thanksgiving. For many families that is their together time. What I don’t like is that the marketers have turned the whole thing into a, a, a thing!

There is no Black Friday. It’s Black November. Those sales started 3 weeks ago. And they aren’t all that great anyway. And now we get to start Cyber Monday, which many stores are calling Cyber Week including a couple of stores that don’t have any on-line presence. Which is fine because all of the ones that do, including those who are exclusively on-line had Black Friday for all of last week and/or this month.

Last Saturday among the many e-mails that graced my in-box were more than one proclaiming that they were entering the “last days” of their Black Friday sales so be sure to order now, soon, and often because at 11:59 on Sunday night those deals will disappear. Then on Sunday I got the “sneak preview” e-mails of the Cyber Monday deals starting at 6pm that very Sunday and available only for the next five days. From the same retailers. For the same products. The same ad with a different header. I should have ordered something between 6pm and midnight to see if I would have gotten a double discount.

See, that’s why I don’t like Black Friday. It’s insulting. But I did get a good deal on some silk poinsettias.

Happy Thanksgetting.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Pump(kin) Up Those Leftovers

Michael Leave a comment

Welcome to a special edition of the RRSB.

If you did it right you should be sitting on oodles of leftovers from Thanksgiving dinner. Some say that the leftovers are the best part of the meal. But there’s no reason to repeat exactly the same dinner over and over this weekend.  Here are two ways to add some spice – pumpkin pie spice – to your leftovers.

Nothing is better than a turkey sandwich Friday afternoon. Hot turkey with stuffing and gravy between two spongy pieces of store bought white bread. That’s lunch! But you can make a satisfying lunch with a cold turkey sandwich also. Add some pumpkin soup. You can make this soup literally in the time it would take you to make a hot turkey sandwich.

Chopped up a small onion and cook it in butter, vegetable, or olive oil until just translucent in a 2 or 3 quart saucepan. Add enough flour to make a roux (1 to 1 flour to fat) and let it cook out for about 5 minutes. Whisk in 3 cups of chicken stock and bring to a boil. Add one can of pureed pumpkin and bring the whole thing back to a simmer and keep it there for 10 minutes. Ladle into bowls, top with a fresh grating of nutmeg, and serve with that cold turkey sandwich that you made while the soup was simmering. You just made a warm and comfy lunch, perfect for taking a break from putting up the Christmas decorations.

For dinner you have the turkey and you have the veggies (nobody ever finishes all of the green bean casserole) left over from the main meal but the potatoes were long gone. Here’s a way to turn that leftover bird into something airworthy – pumpkin risotto.

This isn’t going to be a fifteen minute preparation like the soup was. Risotto takes time, but it’s worth it. Figure on using about the same amount of pumpkin as you will Arborio rice. For 4 side servings use 1/2 cup of rice and 1/2 cup of finely chopped fresh pumpkin. Two cups rice or enough to feed most of the neighborhood needs two cups pumpkin. You get the idea. If you don’t have a fresh pumpkin leftover from Thanksgiving’s tablescape you can use canned pumpkin. Change the directions below to add it to the mix after with the first addition of stock.

In your pan, heat olive oil until shimmering, add a medium onion, finely chopped, and the finely chopped pumpkin. Cook until the onion is tender. In another pot, bring 4 cups of chicken or vegetable stock to just below a simmer. Measure the rice into the pan and allow to cook for a minute or two. Add a cup of dry white wine and stir until the liquid has been absorbed by the rice. Then begin your additions of the hot stock, stirring after each addition until all of the liquid is absorbed and continue until the risotto is silky and creamy and just right. You’ll know. Top with nutmeg and allspice before serving.

It’s work making risotto but it’s worth it to see their faces when the tuck into it after a day of Black Friday shopping (which the way stores are plugging it means you can make this dish anytime over the next week or two).

There you have them, to ways to pump up the pumpkin in your leftovers. Take the day off, enjoy those leftovers for as long as you can before you have to start baking the Christmas cookies.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

(Don’t forget, tomorrow is Small Saturday. Patronize small business because all businesses started as small businesses.)