Category Holidays

Raise a Pint or Two

Michael 2 Comments

I won’t keep you long today. If you’re in the US you don’t want to be late for the parade and mattress sale right after you post the obligatory “It’s not just about picnics” Facebook post. If you’re not in the US you have something similar going on or could use a day off from my anyway.

BloodI came up with a dandy idea on how you can actually remember that they gave their all. Give a pint of yours. Really remember Memorial Day with a trip to the blood bank and donate a pint or two. Yes, you can give two if you donate just red cells. And when you get your plasma back you get a little extra fluid and you actually leave the donation center feeling better than you did when you got there. And you still get a cookie. Trust me I know.

So raise a pint to those who gave their all!

An Eggcellent Family Tradition

Michael 2 Comments

Holidays are great for traditions. All the big holidays have great traditions with lots of family time and activities people are willing to wait all year for. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Groundhog Day.

egg1But as is so often the case, the biggest seem to have the least. And Easter is the biggest for the Christian community for if not for Easter there would be no Christian community. But still the fewest and the least. There just aren’t those big events we associate with the holiday outside of the church.

It might be because spring is a horrible time for a holiday. The secular season has its own traditions more universal than celebrating a religious commemoration. Spring break, baseball opening day, and high school musicals all compete for the limited attention span of people who have just gone through too many weeks of snow, ice, and freezing temperatures.

eggsMy own little family is no exception. Although there are our every year church activities and things we do most of the time, we have but one family tradition we’ve done every year since my daughter was old enough to sit at the table and spill colored water about the kitchen. Dying Easter eggs on Holy Saturday. This year since my dialysis schedule has me sitting in a chair not at the kitchen table most of this Saturday, we rescheduled our egg dying for today, Holy Thursday.

Easter eggs have been a tradition in Italian households for centuries, long before there was an Italy. Early Romans used eggs in their spring festivals to symbolize new life as did early Persians and early Mesopotamians and early Africans and druids and pagans and probably cavemen. Christians just borrowed them because the symbolism works for Christianity too. And for the two of us it works because we get to spend a few hours in each other’s company and catching up with each other and with the season.

egg2Traditions are good for that. Connecting seasons with the people. Take the opportunity this season to start or continue your own tradition. Whatever season you want to celebrate, Easter, Spring or Baseball, can be a chance to make new or stronger connections with the people most important to you.

Happy Easter. (I pick that one.)

 

Happy No Not That

Michael 6 Comments

Today is Presidents Day in the United States. Actually it isn’t. It’s Washington’s Birthday but nobody calls it that anymore and I won’t dwell on that here because I already dwelled on it here. Regardless of what you want to call it I’m not going to talk about it here and not because I have an issue with the weirdo in office now. I have issues with all the weirdos who’ve been there except maybe Washington but I already took issue with those issues here.

No today is more important, more universal, more significant than presidents. Lots of countries have presidents. And why do we feel we have to “honor” these career politicians anyway? Do other countries with presidents have a special day set aside to remember the contributions of everybody who ever was crazy enough to take a job no sane person would want?

What about the countries without presidents? Are there King Days in monarchies? Are there Premier Days in oligarchies? Do puppet governments have Dictator Day? What about the countries with where the seat of government is more sofa-like with say a president and a prime minister? Who gets the day? Does each get a day? Maybe 12 hour shifts on the same day?

I’m sorry but there are just too many issues with Presidents Day. Leave it at Washington’s Birthday about the rest of them. You guys in other countries are on your own. Now to be truly universal, seriously inclusive, honestly honorable, let’s celebrate the day that everybody can get behind. Come on and join me in celebrating…..

Happy Fiftieth Anniversary to Mister Rogers Neighborhood!

Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people.   -Fred Rogers

Although Mr. Rogers Neighborhood was first broadcast by what would become PBS on February 19, 1968, Fred Rogers first hit the airwaves from Toronto with his Children’s Corner in 1961. His gentle manner and strong devotion have done more for America than all of the presidents we’ve elected since then. We would have done well to more often hold him as one to emulate rather than ridicule. They say in America anybody can grow up to become President. But only one American ever grew up to become Mr. Rogers. While you are celebrating your extra day off take a moment to ask yourself who you have been more like as a role model for your children, grandchildren, nieces, and nephews. And knowing what you know now, who you would have more wanted as yours.

I could have written an entire post celebrating Mr. Rogers but there isn’t enough space available to me to say all the good things about this remarkable man. Our world is better because of his Neighborhood. Now if we could only get our country to follow suit.

Misterogers

Pittsburgh Post Gazette

It’s the Most Unwonderful Time of the Year

Michael 12 Comments

It’s time for my annual “Woe is me” party. I figure I have lots of reasons to celebrate my misfortunes. A rare weird disease, cancer, blood clots, lack of mobility, dialysis. Too much plaid in my wardrobe. The list goes on. But those are everyday disasters and things that almost everybody else will go through. Maybe not all of them or the ones you someday experience not all at once. But these are the things people deal with. And I deal with them pretty well. I have good family and good friends and a good medical team to help me along.

But all the help and support from family members and dialysis nurses won’t change the fact that on Wednesday I’m going to wake up alone. There will be no card taped to the bathroom mirror, they’ll be no second place setting at breakfast (and that’s a shame because I’m planning on a traditional Eggs Benedict with my own Hollandaise), there’ll be no impromptu dancing in the living room in front of an open window for the world to see that old people can still love.

I suppose old people still love. I see them. I know some who are seemingly doing all the right things. Maybe that’s it. Seemingly. In my experience, getting old did not help in the still loving department.

Broken_Heart_Pose_(1)First there was the ex. Forgive me for being so old fashioned here but by “ex” I shouldn’t have to explain ex what. It kills me when people refer to someone they dated three times as their ex. That’s a “guy or girl I dated.” Or someone they saw for almost a year. That’s an “old boyfriend.” By the way there is no “old girlfriend.” Just someone “I used to spend time with” accompanied by a wistful look into nowhere. But no, these people aren’t exes. There has to be something that existed to be exed out of. To me “ex” will always and only be an ex-wife. Or husband depending on your point of view.

Anyway, first there was the ex. We weren’t that bad when we were. We had our moments but then we also had our moments. It was hard getting together in the 70’s. Things were expensive. Money was expensive. It was not a time of destination weddings and yearly two week tropical vacations, new cars, new houses, or new tires no matter how much the mechanic whined they weren’t going to pass inspection next time. We’ll worry about it then. And that was pretty much how we got though out first 10 years. Worrying about it then. And then by the next 10 years we didn’t have to worry so much. Cars were newer. Houses were big enough that the daughter could have her own room with lots of space to spare. Plans were made and met and new ones thought up. One plan that caught us off guard was that I planned on turning 40 and she didn’t. So when I did and she should have soon followed there was lots of holding back and plans changed. Eventually my 40 turned 45 and her never ending 39 regressed to 30 and the 15 years difference was too much for her.

comforting__hearttle_6__by_domobfdi-d7186dwYears went by and I would meet a somebody now and then in between being dad and homemaker. Single parenting isn’t much fun for the male set either in case you’re wondering. Eventually a new she entered and if she wasn’t perfect, she was just right. Right enough that space could be made for her. We danced and swam and festivaled. We visited places from northern falls to tropical islands and enjoyed time in farm markets and art studios. Plans were made and met and new ones thought up. One plan that caught us off guard was that I planned on getting cancer (well, part of me did but didn’t bother to tell the rest of me until it was too late) and she planned on me always being the same. So when I did and the cure necessitated removing some parts of me, and some of those parts were the parts that impart a certain amount of masculinity to maleness, and plans changed. We struggled a bit until the phone call that spoke of things wanted and things able and they weren’t the same things. And then sometime in our 8th, maybe 9th, could have been 10th year, the new she began to become someone I used to spend time with.

So twice bitten I’ve had no will to risk adding even a girl I used to date to my record. The desire, yes. The will, no. I’d love to have someone warm to hold close at night or to slog through mud tracked roads leading to the demonstration area at the maple festival. Someone to see the old ships of New England and the old houses of the Old Country. Or someone to sit next to and read a book for the fourteenth time and for the thirteenth time to explain that it’s OK to reread a book. Or someone to share an Eggs Benedict then dance with in front of a window

Nope, not the most wonderful week of the year for me. But that’s ok. There are 51 others to amuse me. I’ll be back to normal sometime next week.

 

Images by Picquery

Never Too Much of This Good Thing

Michael 12 Comments

Happy Groundhog Day Eve! I don’t have to remind anybody that of all the 382 special observances of the days, weeks, and month during February, Groundhog Day is my personal favorite not to mention the most useful.

Phil

Photo: Pittsburgh Patch

But I have to question the blatant commercialism that is detracting from this great day. It’s quite alright that Punxsutawney Phil has his own Instagram page or his own souvenir shop. That’s reasonable for a celebrity of his stature. But it’s all this other stuff that everybody else is doing to horn in on his popularity that has to stop.

 

BSBMoon

Photo: NASA

First there was that movie from 25 years ago about the day that kept going and going and going. Now there’s Mother Nature throwing her triple threat Super Blue Blood Moon into the mix a mere two days before Phil’s annual excursion into the public eye. And then there’s that silly football game on Sunday that’s already hogging up all the television time. Honestly, what does it take to get the world’s greatest weather icon his more than deserved respect?

His lack of respect doesn’t stop Phil from his appointed tasks as well as making personal appearances (take that you big extraterrestrial object) and even inspiring love songs (take that you hardly universal sporting event).

GiL

Now just in case you’re too busy tomorrow morning to be in Punxsutawney personally, you can catch Phil streaming his shadow, or lack of, here.

And remember, even if Phil should see his shadow, no matter how long the winter, spring is sure to follow.

 

Happy Hot Sauce Day

Michael 8 Comments

Happy Hot Sauce Day! 😲 I’m not sure if that really should be capitalized but it sounds official enough so why not. I’ve looked into it but have not been able to determine the origin of Hot Sauce Day but I’m going to take a wild guess and say it’s relatively new and was dreamed up by a marketing company. I’m guessing it’s fairly new because when I was growing up there weren’t many hot sauces out there so there wouldn’t have been a need for a “day” and it probably would have been called chili pepper sauce day not hot sauce day. And I’m guessing it was the brain child of a marketing group because I’m not stupid.

Hot Sauce Day is a particularly significant day for me this year. I am finally getting some appetite back having been set back by pneumonia now going into its third week. But just because I want to eat doesn’t mean I can taste much of what I eat. Thus the addition of strong flavors to my foods. It’s amazing what a splash or two of Tabasco will do to scrambled eggs.

HotSauceTabasco is one of two hot sauces I keep in my pantry. The other is Frank’s. I don’t get any remuneration from either but if one, the other, or both would like to make an offer, I’m all taste buds.

Frank’s is the hot sauce most often associated with Buffalo wings although it serves a more subtle use in my kitchen. Anything made with ground beef, chicken, or turkey, such as meatloaf gets a few splashes of Frank’s. So too do most sauces and braising liquids. Tabasco, being lighter and more acidic is added to most dressings and marinades.

So today being Hot Sauce Day in one way isn’t such a big thing for me. Almost every day is Hot Sauce Day to me. On the other hand it’s a really big deal because instead of the controlled restraint I usually use on my hot sauce, today and for a few more I’ll be pouring it on like the typical macho bar fly uses his hot sauce. As a weapon against his taste buds.

Fortunately my taste buds are just as incapacitated as the rest of me and can stand a little extra jolt. Hmm. Jolt? No, that would be November 19, Carbonated Beverage with Caffeine Day. I wouldn’t make that up.

 

Retrospecting

Michael 9 Comments

I read a book way, way back in the 60s or 70s maybe. It was so far back that a million dollars was actually a lot of money. That’s actually germane to this post. I know, I know, I rarely have anything of substance to a post in the first sentence or two. You’re lucky if I ever get to around to anything of substance by the last sentence or two. It’s all part of my charm.

This particular book was written by a bona fide millionaire and I should have stopped reading it as soon as I got to that point. It was the basic “get rich without using your own money” scheme which roughly translates into “fall into or inherit money then write a book on how to make more money than you can count and pull it off as semi-legitimate even though your scheme is semi-criminal but you are after all a bona fide millionaire so who’s going to argue with you especially after they bought your book” scheme.

The only thing I got out of the book is that every January 1, the schmuck in question, aka the author, spent his day counting up his assets. Since reading that, I do the same. My worldly possessions take about 25 minutes to itemize. That leaves enough time to watch the big parade, the one with all the flowers, and the afternoon bowl games on TV. So how did that make me a millionaire?

Accounting

Image by Dreamtime

Unfortunately it didn’t. Oh, if I add up everything that I’ve ever made, salaries, investments, bonuses, sale of plasma in college, I’ve made more than that million. If you put it all together I’ve probably made close to 5 million dollars. If you add up all that I’ve put out I’ve probably spent a little over 5 million dollars. But every January 1 I diligently sit down with my checkbook, then ledger, then spreadsheet, then all those little receipts from the stores and ATM machines, and figure out how much I have.

While after those first 15 minutes when I really needed to concentrate I (mostly because I was getting into the part of the arithmetic that included “carrying”), something would distract me. A girl friend then a wife then a pet then a baby then the sounds of kids playing in the snow then a midwinter graduation party, then new friends and new relatives then new the new sounds of new places then the quiet the comes after everyone leaves.

Counting up the assets never took very long. Counting up the treasures … I’m still working on them.

Happy New Year

 

Why We Eat

Michael 8 Comments

It’s the time of year that posts are flying all over the Internet with main dish recipes and cookie recipes and appetizers that don’t require cooking recipes and make ahead dessert recipes and the world’s best ever side dishes recipes. I gain weight every day just opening my tablet.

Seriously, I am gaining weight every day. I know because I weigh myself every day. There might be a little vanity in there. After years of avoiding scales because my weight was approaching numbers usually reserved for poor credit scores it’s refreshing to step on a scale and see a number more closely associated with IQ test scores. (Not my IQ but I’m ok with that. The world needs average people too.) Anyway, I get on the scale every morning and I see a number just a little higher than the day before. Over the last week I’d say a couple of pounds higher.* And I know why.

It’s not because of all the cookie pictures Facebook. Although they certainly aren’t helping. I would go through this unexplained weight gain when I was working, specifically anytime I was about to go out on a business trip.

Regular readers with good memories and occasional readers who visited just the right posts know that back in a different day when I was working I worked for a national health care company. An extra duty as assigned was visiting other facilities to do operational reviews. Unlike McDonald’s or Wendy’s which have the same food from coast to coast, our hospitals did not share that familiarity. There were some pretty bad cafeterias in those places. So I think subconsciously when I knew I was going away I’d eat a lot. Why ever it was, I knew that whenever I was going somewhere I was going at least two pounds heavier than the week before.

So, if we are to believe that a) there are no coincidences, b) the past is a harbinger of the future, and c) I historically always use three examples, I am gaining that weight for a reason and it has nothing to do with water weight gain and/or Christmas cookies in the kitchen. I’m going on a trip! Now since I haven’t planned anything on my own and since neither my bank balance nor my credit score is sufficient to finance a trip much farther than 12 to 15 miles down the road**, somebody is giving me a vacation for Christmas!***

Boy I hope it’s somewhere where sun block is recommended.

*For those of you of the metric persuasion that “couple of pounds” would be about a kilogram if you subscribe that a pound is 2.2kg or 1kg=0.454lb. I used to know why the abbreviation for pound is “lb.” but I don’t remember right now and it’s not all that important anyway. Probably more important is if you are somewhere that requires me clarifying the relationship between pounds and kilograms, do you also require clarification of the American credit score (or debt score as some would insist)? If you do, well, there is no reasonable explanation but the lowest FICO score possible is 300. In the VantageScore system the lowest score is 501. See. No sense at all. Just like the lowest SAT score is 400 but the lowest PSAT is 320. Oh. What’s SAT? This is going to take another post. My weight approached the lowest FICO score, not the VantageScore.

**19 to 24 kilometers (We really need to universalize weights and measures.)

***Holiday (We really need to universalize English too.)

What Not To Buy

Michael 8 Comments

Country Living magazine recently published a list of the 29 gifts you do not want to give for Christmas. I’ll tell you up front that I disagree with 28 of them as well as the entire idea of the list.

First, why 29? That seems arbitrary. Who comes up with a Top Twenty-Nine of anything? We’re they just sitting around in the production office and tossing out things they don’t like getting while tossing back some double fortified eggnog? If you can’t be firm on a topic and declare “These are the 10 worst gifts ever!!!” why should you expect anyone to take the basket full of suggested “don’t do it” gifts with any seriousness?

NoGiftsBeyond the idea itself being of little value to normal people, the items they chose would actually make pretty wonderful gifts. Assuming you are gifting to those you care about enough to give thought and consideration to your gift giving, 28 of the 29 items could be tops on anybody’s wish list.

For example, they had to hop on the “let’s hate fruit cake bandwagon” and include the delicacy on their never ever give list. I personally like fruit cake. If you gave me a fruitcake you would go directly to top of my I Love You list. Just don’t give me one that was prepared 11 months ago in a factory that also puts out sparklers for the summer market. If you gave me a mass produced chocolate lava cake made more than 4 hours ago I would use that as a stop to prop open the front door while I threw you out on your ear. So stop knocking my decision to like fruitcake and start practicing that inclusion stuff you keep posting on Facebook!

Another item in their list of taboo tchotchkes is fitness equipment lest you send the message that your giftee is in need of some serious body work. If your friend or family member is an avid exerciser would he or she not appreciate that your share their enthusiasm for self-improvement? One of the best gifts I ever received was my fitness tracker. It provides daily encouragement to keep moving else I find myself behind a walker again. Interestingly, among their suggestions in lieu of exercise equipment is a pocket wine aerator. Now isn’t that just the perfect thing to gift to you closest drunk on the go?

I could go on 26 more times but you get the idea. Gift guides are fun because you can look at stuff out there you may never have thought of and know somebody who would be just right for this or that. But non-gift guides are just mean! They send the message that if you considered any of those items that you’re a lesser person. You know what those on your list like and appreciate. Don’t let somebody you don’t know tell you what your friends and family want!

Oh, what was the one thing on their list I would agree with being a less than thoughtful present? Toilet paper. Yep, toilet paper. Did that really have to be on a list at all? Then again, we are the culture that came up with pet rocks (still available!) and designer sweatpants (on sale now!!).

Remember, only 7 shopping days until Christmas. Happy Holidays!

(No, I don’t get any compensation from the pet rock people, Saks Fifth Avenue, designer anybody, lava cake bakeries, the Association for the Ethical Treatment of Fruitcake (EAT-Fruitcake), toilet paper, and Country Living magazine.) (Although I do subscribe to Country Living so if they want to gift me a couple years renewal I won’t argue.) (If they want to cancel me, I will argue.) (If you haven’t already figured it out, EAT-Fruitcake doesn’t really exist, at least as far as I know. That was supposed to be funny.) (Come on! I said supposed to.)