What I Did Last Week

What a week. I’ve been so busy I barely noticed the tangerine tyrant threatening to drop 82nd airborne troops into Portland Oregon, the Notsoproudboys, aka immigration enforcement not-officers-and-gentlemen rappelling out of attack helicopters to storm an apartment building in America’s heartland, or Speaker Whatshisname sending the RINOs home then complaining that the Democrats don’t want to meet. All that good stuff all in one week.  Barely seems like it was just a week ago that I was concerned if there was intelligent life on this side of the planet.

Instead, I finally got around to doing some Christmas shopping. I know. I’m just so late this year. Usually by the back-to-school sale days I’m down to just needing stocking stuffers. Where did I go wrong?

Now I have rush through the remains of the list so I can get back on track and start shopping for next year’s May and June anniversaries and birthdays. Do you know how hard it’s going to be to find something June-worthy in December? That clearly should have been August activity.

The good news is, I have Halloween candy on this week’s shopping list.

Okay, maybe that was just a bit hyperbolic, but I really am behind the holiday shopping curve, and I know why. I’m not a “let’s go out with a big holiday shopping list on Black Friday and see how much we get in one day” shopper. I tend to pick things up all through the year as I see them and see that those things would be perfect for someone. I’ll squirrel them away, then during the week before Christmas I’ll scour the house trying to remember I hid it all. Which is still better than just starting to shop then like half of all the other men in America. Mind you now, I’ll likely still go out and shop during that week, but I’ll be calmer than the rest of the shopping crowd because I won’t have to go out and buy.

So that’s why I missed so much of last week’s news. I was out shopping. And I didn’t shop for any televisions or radios so, there’s that too.

Another thing I did was get out the ‘thank you for joining and here are some directions’ letters to the ARC team for Bad Impressions. (Those of you who did send emails expressing interest, if you didn’t get an email from me over the weekend check your spam folders. Anyone still interested in joining, there are a couple spaces left. Get back to me this week. Details and a request form are on the new website, www.michaelrossmedia.com, something else I did last week.)

Okay all, have a good week. I have a few more people to serendipitously come across things for.

Never can say goodbye

Yesterday was the 56th anniversary of the first manned moon landing. We can land a man on the moon but we still can’t come up with a good way to end a text message. It’s also the 58th anniversary of the first Special Olympics. And still after all this time I can’t come up with a good way to work that into a referene on the absence of a good way to end a text message. Then again on the other hand, we’v had text messages for 41 years old and I still can’t come up with a good way to end a text message. I think I have a texting dysfunction.(Technically texting is 33 years old. It was invented in 1984 but not first used until 1992. I guess they had a hard time coming up with a good way to say hello.)

Having been born and raised in the telephone era, the transition to short messaging systems has been long and difficult. All these abbreviations and pictures with no punctuation. Anarchy I tell you!

To be very frank, I’m still not comfortable with the habit of just jumping into the conversation. No “Hello, how are you?” “Are you busy?” “Hey, s’up!” How do people think it’s appropriate to start off a conversation with “on my way,” or “be there soon,” or worst of all, “omw.” But having gotten beyond that I still can’t just stop. It’s like just getting out of— hmmm, its like sending a card that just says happy birthday and not signing it because the recipient should be able to figure it who it’s from by checking the postmark.

Closing a phone call is easy. “Bye,” Bye.” And you’re done. Messages seldom end that cutly and dryly. Oh, someone might get a “but” in but usually it’s as abrupt as it started and I’m not sure if they’re done so I poo back on and say something to see if they’re still there.  And so on and so on and son on.

You may need shaking your head and quietly chuckling over this, but I know it’s a problem, a real problem, and others experience it too. I know because I got into a text message conversation yesterday afternoon with another who couldn’t say goodbye and we finally got around to “hanging up” around 9:30 last night. It’s a good thing we don’t have to pay for those things individually anymore.

Bright lights, little city

About a week ago I was on my one home an evening. It wasn’t very late but it was very dark. The weather was cold but clear, remarkably clear, and dark, remarkably dark. I was north of home in my little suburban hamlet heading south on a classic dark and windy country road.

It was dark enough I needed high beam lights to see what lurked ahead. It was clear enough I could easily see oncoming traffic as we both neared the many twists and curves in the road. And all concerned politely reduced their lights it low beam lights before making the bend and blinding the oncoming driver. You gotta love people who know driving involves more than “put it in gear and go.”

As I got closer to town, the road straightened and lights mounted high above nicely illuminated the roads, eliminating the need for the super bright high beams. Another mile or so brought some roadside businesses and their lights added to the general brightness. 

It was then I saw the blur of white some distance ahead, heading north on the now almost ruler straight road through a little town-let. The blur grew and grew in size and brightness until it became clear that it was ye olde basic pick ‘em up truck with mutilple headlights, fog lights, and even lights across the bully bar over the top of the cab blazing while barreling merrily along, presumably by a backward hat wearing, plaid shirted, scraggly bearded truckster.

There ought to be a law addressing night time driving particularly discussing lights and illumination. Oh wait, there is, actually are. There ought to be people enforcing them.

It’s almost become SOP, ignore the laws that are inconvenient, or the regulation. Throw out the “way it’s always been done,” “doesn’t hurt anyone,” “anyone with common sense would know that.” Do what is right. 

Have you ever wondered why I’m so hard on backward hat wearing, plaid shirted trucksters? Little Rosemary is not the first little sports car I’ve owned. I had once had a 1979 Mazda RX7, the second year it was offered. It was about the same size as the later to come Miata but rounder. The year was 1985 and it was stopped at a red light where a large, jacked up pickup truck driven by a (you guessed it) backward hat wearing, plaid shirted, scraggly bearded, beer bellied amateur truckster did not stop at a red light and literally ran up and over the back of the low-slung car. Oh yes, there are laws.

Blog Art 2

We all want to live long lives, maybe even live long lives in love. If you’d like to see what we had to say about long lasting love, pop on over and give But do you love me  a quick read. While you’re there, consider joining the ROAMcare community and subscribe to have Uplift delivered to your email as soon as it hits the website. In addition to an Uplift release every Wednesday, you will also receive weekly our Monday Moment of Motivation and the email exclusive Flashback Friday repost of one of our most loved publications every Friday. All free and available now at ROAMcare.org.

 

Gratefully yours

Yes, November is Gratitude Month and before it is over, we will also have celebrated Thanksgiving in the USofA. (I wonder… In Canada, Thanksgiving is celebrated in October. Is October Gratitude Month up there? C’mon, Canadian readers, fill me in!) To be honest, Thanksgiving and Gratitude Month in any country are not what I was thinking when I typed in that title. I was thinking more along the lines of letters. No, not A B C letters. Correspondence letters.

I was just at the post office buying stamps, stamps that have gone up in price again since the last time I bought them. (I go back to 5 cent first class postage, 4 for second class. Do we still have second class postage?) (Anyway…) As I was swiping my debit card through the card swiper I was thinking to myself for as often as the price has gone up, what a bargain postage still is. For 66 cents you can send a letter or card up to one ounce anywhere in the country. (For the curious, 4 sheets of paper + envelope is about an ounce.)  For $1.50 you can send that same card or letter (or one very similar) to 130 different countries, as close as Canada (remember than next October if you want to wish a Canadian friend Happy Thanksgiving), or as far away as Australia (the Australian territory of Norfolk Island celebrates Thanksgiving the last Thursday of November so you better and get your card to the post office now since it will take 2 to 3 weeks to get there). (I said it was a bargain, not a rush.)

I still write cards and letters, and not just at Christmas. There is something wonderfully personal about getting a greeting in the mail among all the sales flyers and invitations to open a new credit card. (But as much as you will hear me complain about spam email and text messages, I will never disparage junk mail. Those bulk mailers are spending a lot of money on postage and keep our postal expenditures manageable.) If you want to really say thank you to a friend for nothing more than just being a friend, you’d be hard pressed to come up with a more delightful way to do so than with a card or a hand written letter. Hand printed works too.

That’s all I got for now. No, one more thing. As I was resetting clocks over the weekend I realized how, even in this day of everything being connected (and/or “smart”), how many clocks I have that still need set by hand. And I still haven’t gotten to the cars. How about you?

Okay, so now get out and send your best friend a thank you card for putting up with you. Heaven knows they likely deserve one!


Speaking of best friends, deep friendships exist to remind each other that people are lovable without having to perform for it. But not without having to work for it. Read what we have to say about the work it takes to love somebody in the most recent Uplift! Love’s Struggles. (Approximate reading time – 4 minutes. That’s not so bad.)


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words matter

This week I was proof-reading the post that will be published this Wednesday, August 30 on Uplift! the ROAMcare blog. It’s about saying what you mean, meaning what you say, the joy you feel when you can, and the consequences when you don’t. As I started writing the first draft for this post, I had no inkling the two would intertwine. This post, like the previous two posts to this blog, was to be about words, though not necessarily the saying and meaning of them. In between the reading and the writing of these two blog posts, I was also reading some local news. There was an incident here in town involving a man barricaded in a house, and suddenly, I found an overlap.

  • The barricaded gentleman was the target of an order of eviction. Rather than accepting the paperwork, he fired on the sheriff deputies attempting to serve the order. And that began a 6+ hour standoff during which thousands of rounds of ammunition were fired. The county Sheriff reported that the suspect was pronounced dead at the scene. What does that have to do with words? One moment please. I did some further investigating. 
  • Checking the sports pages, a local college football booster donates $20 million to the college athletic department to enhance the school’s football program. The same donor previously founded a collective of like minded donors to set money aside for Name Image and Likeness payments for the school’s athletes. I know, one more time. What’s that have to do with words? Please hold.
  • A local Home Depot was reported to have been the victim of theft. “Thousands of dollars worth of equipment was stolen from a local Home Depot, police say,” the report begins, then it continues, “State troopers say two men and a woman were responsible for the thefts. Two microwaves, a stove, a gas grill and a John Deere riding mower were all stolen from the store.” The report goes on. “The thieves are also believed to have taken drinks. Overall, the stolen goods were worth $4,697.60.” One of these words is not like the other. Don’t go away. We’ll be right back. 
  • And an oldie but a goodie. Earlier this month a man was stopped by TSA agents at the local airport with a fully loaded 9mm handgun and 2 additional loaded magazines for a total of 22 rounds of ammunition. He forgot. Two words. Yeah, right.

Let’s look at the words used. 

Working backwards, yeah, right. Come on guy, just say you don’t trust women to recognize you’re happy to see them so you keep a gun in your pocket.

The report of the theft at the outsized home center knew exactly, what was stolen, the value of what was stolen, and who stole it, yet they aren’t quite sure about those couple drinks that are missing. Was the reporter on a word count and needed those eight words to satisfy the editor’s line budget?

Enhancements to the athletic department that also references the the NCAA NIL policy. Sounds like a personnel budget to me.

And the one that started me down this rabbit hole. One person inside a building. Thousands of shots from inside the building. And with all deference to the presumption of innocence, “the suspect?”

Isn’t it time we start saying what we mean?

Now, other than the common theory of say what you mean, mean what you say, this is nothing like the ROAMcare post will read. If you want to know how post that comes out, be one of the ones to read it as soon as that post comes out. You can subscribe to Uplift! here.


Speaking of words, the words “good enough” don’t conjure thoughts of expert performance, but is good enough ever good enough? We explore times when it might, and when it definitely isn’t, in the most recent Uplift! The approximate reading time is just 3 minutes


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Shoot the messenger

You might think from the title of this post that I’m getting ready to set on a rant about those demonstrating for or against the gripe of the week, and sometimes both, but no, those aren’t the messengers who are annoying me this week even though their messages are annoying as anything. I’m getting ready to rant about messages more than messengers, text messages, and in particular, group text messages. Although…there are messengers who initiate those group messages so, yes, let’s rant about them too.

Do you remember when email was “new” and about once a week the office manager, HR VP, sometimes the company president, would send an email around that said, “Do not ‘Reply All’ when answering group emails,” which was particularly good advice if your reply was “what a bozo move that is!” to whatever directive the email contained.

Actually, that still goes on in the companies that communicate by email. But as the world has grown faster and more impatient to the point that many are finding email to be too slow. More and more messengers are turning to text messages. Everybody carries cell phones now. Nearly everybody’s cell phones are smart phones (many smarter than their owners) so sharing documents, spreadsheets, internet links, and images are no more difficult that doing so by email. And people look at their phones. Emailers are not unaware that the “efficient business experts” have long suggested that to not be tired to one’s email, establish email hours and check inboxes at specific and limited times. Immediate email responses are things of the past. Ah, but text messages. Everybody reads texts as soon as they pop in. They could be something important like a happy hour invitation or a link to a cat video.

Although it is possible to reply to just the sender of a group text message, that takes an extra step and only the most fastidious recipient turned responder might be willing to take the extra step, Otherwise, reply all is the default and the default routinely is taken. Back in the good old days of emails, although the occasional reply all snuck through, most recipients never had to bother taking care to choose the correct reply option because they didn’t intend to reply at all. It was an age when if you didn’t have anything to say, you didn’t have to say anything. But that doesn’t work with text messages. Oh no, if you get a text, you will send a text. It’s only right they must think. And so everybody knows who among them thinks “what a bozo move that is” and what everybody else thinks at 10 or 12 second intervals even if all they think is “OK” or “Thx!” or 👍.

So don’t be a bozo, or even just move like one. Keep your group responses to yourself. Or at least only to the sender. OK? Thx! 👍. 🙂

Once upon a time they lived happily ever after

Smoking or Non? 2021 Style

There is a new movement afoot in Western Pennsylvania and, because we are not known for groundbreaking thought, probably across the rest of the US, and likely Canada too. But then this is pretty self-serving so maybe not in Canada. This is the pandemic version of the smoking section. You certainly recall the days of being greeted at the hostess stand with the initial query, “Will that be smoking or non-smoking?” (They always put smoking first. I wonder why.)  I often asked for the first available because in most restaurants, particularly the smaller diner types that I was apt to visit, you could section off the smokers, but not the smoke.

Several establishments, notably the concert and sports venues, have asked city, county, and state authorities for permission to ease pandemic related seating limits by permitting non-distance seating areas for people who are fully vaccinated against COVID-19. I’m not sure how I feel about this. Personally, as a fully vaccinated individual I like the idea of mingling with others who take their health and the health of those sharing space on the planet seriously. Personally, as a card-carrying cynic I am certain three-quarters of the individuals claiming to be fully vaccinated are more full of lies than vaccine. Especially now that news broke on internet sites with templates and instructions for forging COVID-19 Vaccination Record Cards.

I already can hear the hue and cry. You’re making us second class citizens! You’re taking away our rights! This is no COVID! Regardless of the incorrectness of those statements, they will be the justification for opposing Vaccinate and Non-Vaccinated seating sections just as they are the uninformed persons justification for not getting the vaccine and not be asked the question at all.

For my other life I have been working on an article about vaccine hesitancy and its less famous cousin vaccine confidence.  While doing research I discovered an alarming fact. When asked if they have plans to be vaccinated, 13% of the people in the US eligible for vaccination responded they had no intention of receiving the vaccine. An additional 7% would consent to the vaccine only if required. That is alarming. It is expected that there would be some hesitancy but basically 20%, one-fifth of the people who could get a vaccine, a free vaccine, are saying no thank you. Still not the really alarming part of the survey. The really alarming part is that of healthcare personnel, 18% said they had no intention of getting the vaccine and an additional 12% answer they had not yet decided. (Kaiser Family Foundation COVID Vaccine Monitor) Think of that the next time you go to the doctor. After being greeted by a receptionist, you will be escorted to the exam room and prepped by a medical assistant, have your vitals measured and history reviewed by a nurse, and then be seen by the doctor. Of those three people caring for your health, one has chosen to not receive the vaccine that will reduce the risk of exposing their patients to the virus that has as of May 1 already killed 576,339 Americans. (New York Times compiled from state health agencies) And we call them heroes. (pfft) (Expressed as a card-carrying member of the health care personnel world with as much venom as I can muster in written form.)

In the United States, even as vaccination rates have slowed, variant cases of COVID-19 are escalating. Earlier in the pandemic the question was raised if vaccination should be mandatory. Opponents argued that the 14th Amendment prohibits mandated vaccinations as an arbitrary legislative action. Supporters cited the Supreme Court’s 1905 decision to allow mandated smallpox vaccinations in part because “liberty for all cannot exist if each individual is allowed to act without regard to the injury that his or her actions might cause others.”

Attempting to argue the legality of mandatory vaccination is out of my league as I am not a constitutional lawyer (although that stops so very few nowadays) and about as satisfying as arguing with a Trumpican about who won the election. Arguing the safety and efficacy of the vaccine is a different story and firmly in my wheelhouse. It is. Period. Go get the shot. Just do it. You don’t need any other reason but if you insist, get it because you will be protecting liberty for all.

And if you don’t, don’t be surprised if the next time you stop for dinner and drinks after work you are greeted with, “Welcome to Henny’s! Will that be Vaccinated or Non?”

Not Vaccinated Section

Embrace The Middle

Are things becoming less restrictive where you are? There are not yet here but I have read there is some movement toward more recognizable routines we had been used to in some locales. Now that would be some movement toward something approaching what we used to think of as normal for some activities in some areas. Not the whole world is back to what we want it do tomorrow.
 
When things do lososen up, I don’t know that I’ll be thinking that’s the right choice or not. Here’s what I believe and I believe I’ll say it. Or write it. I believe we are approaching a whole different “normal” that’s going to be the norm for yet some more time and that new normal isn’t quite what most of us remember as the old normal at all. Whether we want it or not, whether we accept it or not, or whether we get used to it or not, it’s going to happen, and it’s going to happen slowly. And people are going to just beat the crap out of that “Love your neighbor” thing we had going.
 
We aren’t going turn a switch and all the stores and restaurants and schools and churches will open, sports arena will be standing room only and theaters will have the hottest ticket in town, air travel will return with too tight seating and cruise ships will be packed to the deck rails, and spas and salons will be cutting hair, painting nails, and massaging under worked and over appreciated muscles overnight. 
 
When it starts it is going to be a slow start, an adventure of misstarts, missteps, and probably a retreat or two. It will be gradual and will take more patience than it takes now when we are waiting. And here’s the thing – write this down – we don’t wait well, and it will be worse when we get just a taste of life without waiting.
 
Humans aren’t designed to go slow. Patience is such a virtue because because nobody has it! We want to go. We are okay staying still. But getting from stop to full speed is not man’s strong point. We aren’t good in the middle.
 
Think of all the middles out there and then honestly think is that where you want to be. The middle seat. Middle management. Middle age. Middle of nowhere!
 
It’s coming. It’s going be bad. Almost everybody is going to say it’s too soon to reopen the world or we’ve been closed off for too long. Nobody is going to say well at least there is a little more I can do today and I’m thankful for that. 
 
When the transition begins be thankful for the little changes, know they are the first steps to bigger changes, remember you didn’t get to where you are today overnight, and embrace the middle. 
 
ROCKANDHARD-PLACE
 
 
 

Hats Off to You!

Earlier today I was driving to a morning appointment, stopped at a traffic light, looked over to the car next to me, and noticed the driver was wearing a hat. That was not unusual. It was early, the sun was not yet up, and the temperature was well below freezing. Very well below freezing. A hat was a good idea. I had a hat on. Everybody was who was anybody had a hat and was wearing it. Then for some odd reason I flashed back to a time 19 years ago when I was driving my boss to the train station, we were stopped at a traffic light, she looked over to the car next to us, notice the drive was wearing a hat, and commented “I can’t trust someone who wears a hat while driving.” I didn’t understand it but I also didn’t ask for an explanation. I considered it a positive that the station was just a block away and any inquiry might have been misinterpreted as a request for conversation thus delaying the drop off. Not to mention my solitude.

If anything, I think trust should be withheld from someone who doesn’t know enough to keep his or her head covered in 20° weather. That’s in F degrees. In C degrees that would be, umm, let’s see (20-32)*5/9 = -6.6666666666666, that would be like really cold. Why wouldn’t you wear a hat? Generally in those circumstances most of the rest of your body is covered. Shoes, sock, pants, shirt, sweater, jacket, muffler, gloves, ear muffs. Yep. It’s all covered. If you’re still cold you probably aren’t wearing a hat. Put a hat on! They are also practical in cold, wet, windy, hot, sunny, or arid weather (and there aren’t many other weathers).

Hats are also very accurate predictors of intelligence. Take the average no neck who wears his baseball cap backwards in blazing sun while simultaneously frantically shielding his eyes from the sun’s blaze. Not the type you want you want procreating. Baseball hats, like all other articles of clothing known to man, woman, or undecided are intended to be worn “not backwards.” Except for baseball catchers and then only during the defensive half innings of a game.

casablancaI think hats are fine. Yes it could be construed as shallow and unduly concentrating on appearances, but in my opinion there aren’t many people whose looks couldn’t be improved by covering parts of their heads.

There just aren’t many situations when a hat could not be stylish, practical, and appropriate. That’s provided you are outside of course. Hats really don’t belong on heads inside buildings except at hockey games where one always needs a hat at hand in the event of a hat trick and where better to keep a hat on hand than on one’s head. But that’s a special exception. Otherwise, and I’m talking to you men and others identifying as men, please identify with common courtesy and undoff those chapeaux à l’intérieur.

If you are wearing a hat, and you’re not indoors unless it’s a hockey game, you have my vote of confidence and trust. (But I might have to question why you’re reading this post at a hockey game). In a word, hats are cool. So be cool. And stay warm.

 

Learning Life, Again

It will be hockey nights in just a couple more. NHL hockey returns October 3. In recognition of this momentous occasion I’m repeating one of my favorite posts, “Everything I Know About Being a Gentleman I Learned From Hockey.” Why? Because everything I learned about being a gentleman I learned from hockey, that’s why. If only politicians watched more hockey.

So, from November 2016, I give you…


When I was at the hockey game this weekend I got to thinking how much as a society we can learn from hockey. Yes, the sport that is the butt of the joke “I went to a fight last night and a hockey game broke out,” is the same sport that can be our pattern for good behavior.

Stay with me for a minute or two and think about this. It started at the singing of the national anthem. I’ve been to many hockey, baseball, football, and soccer games. Only at the hockey games have I ever been in an arena filled with people actually singing along. Only at the hockey games are all of the players reverent to the tradition of honoring the country where they just happen to be playing even though they come from around the world – Canada, Russia, Germany, Sweden, Finland, even a few Americans.

A decent dose of nationalism notwithstanding, hockey has much to offer the gentility. Even those fights. Or rather any infraction. If a player breaks the rules he is personally penalized for it. Ground isn’t given or relinquished like on a battlefield, free throws or kicks aren’t awarded to the aggrieved party like victors in a tort battle. Nope, if you do something wrong you pay the consequences and are removed from play for a specified period in segregation from the rest of your teammates. No challenges, no arguments, no time off for good behavior. Do the crime. Pay the time. In the penalty box. Try doing that to a school child who bullies and you’ll have some civil liberty group claiming you’re hurting the bully by singling him out.

Hockey is good at singling out people but in a good way. At last Saturday’s game the opposing team has two members who had previously played for the home team. During a short break in the action a short montage of those two players was shown on the scoreboard screens and they were welcomed back by the PA announcer. And were cheered and applauded by the fans in attendance. There weren’t seen as “the enemy.” Rather they were friends who had moved away to take another job and were greeted as friends back for a day.

While play is going on in a hockey game play goes on in a hockey game. Only if the puck is shot outside the playing ice, at a rules infraction, or after a goal is scored does play stop. Otherwise, the clock keeps moving and play continues. Much like life. If you’re lucky you might get to ask for one time out but mostly you’re at the mercy of the march of time. Play begins. After a while play ends. If you play well between them, you’ll be ok.

The point of hockey is to score goals. Sometimes goals are scored ridiculously easily, sometimes goals seem to be scored only because of divine intervention. Most times, goals are a result of working together, paying attention to details, and wanting to score more than the opposing team wants to stop you from scoring. There is no rule that says after one team scores the other team gets to try. It all goes back to center ice and starts out with a random drop of the puck. If the team that just scored controls the puck and immediately scores again, oh well.

Since we’re talking about scoring, the rules of hockey recognize that it takes more than an individual to score goals. Hockey is the only sport where players are equally recognized not just for scoring goals but for assisting others who score goals. Maybe you should remember that the next time someone at work says you’ve done a good job.

handshakeThe ultimate good job is winning the championship. The NHL hockey championship tournament is a grueling event. After an 82 game regular season, the top 16 teams (8 from each conference) play a four round best of seven elimination tournament. It takes twenty winning games to win the championship. That’s nearly 25% as long as the regular season. It could take as long as 28 games to play to the finish. That’s like playing another third of a season. After each round only one team moves on. And for each round, every year, for as many years as the tournament has ever been played, and for as many years as the tournament will ever be played, when that one team wins that fourth game and is ready to move on, they and the team whose season has ended meet at center ice and every player on each team shakes the hand of his opponent player and coach, wishing them well as they move on and thanking them for a game well played. No gloating. No whining. No whimpering. Only accepting.

So you go to a fight and a hockey game breaks out. It could be a lot worse.