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Chilled Out

Michael Leave a comment

I had a hard time deciding what to write for this post.  There were too many choices – Halloween, changing the clock weekend, the Breeders’ Cup, Trick or Treating, first frost, fall festivals.  I couldn’t decide. So I did what I always do when I’m stumped. I turned to food.

I don’t normally share recipes. It’s not because I hoard those magical formulae for myself. I even shared my pizza dough in this very blog. No, I rarely share recipes because I rarely know exactly what it is I toss into those pots and bowls when I’m slaving over a hot chopping board. My daughter would say it’s the Italian in me. I say it’s because I can never lay my hand on a measuring spoon when I need one. For whatever reason, she is the reason that I actually can convey an entire recipe and know that is actually what I did to make that dinner.

Let me start closer to the beginning. My daughter will come over for dinner at least once a week every week whether we need it or not. Last week’s offering was to be chili. But not a heavy beef based version. I was going to create something a bit lighter but still warm and flavorful and just right for a fall evening – a chicken chili.

Unfortunately, the morning got away from me. Because of a couple of appointments I was running behind. No way was I going to be able to cook a chicken, create a base, mix the spices, and do the requisite chopping and hopping along with the slicing and dicing a chili would require. But I still wanted it! So I turned to the pantry.

I pulled out two cans of white kidney beans, a carton of chicken stock, a small can of sliced green chilies, and a jar of prepared salsa. I checked the hanging baskets and found a slightly larger than medium yellow onion. I pulled smoked paprika and adobo powder from the spice drawer. I had everything I needed for a quick chili, just open and dump. Everything except the chicken. Fortunately the supermarket was only a 5 minute drive away where the rotisserie chickens are right by the front door.

So the beans were chucked into a big pot, a cup and a half of stock followed. Then in went the chilies, salsa, and the onion diced into decent sized chunks. The bird was skinned then separated meat from bones and joined the party. The jumble simmered over medium heat for about a half hour then dinner was served. Shredded cheese, sour cream, and tortilla chips made guest appearances and a quick slaw of shredded iceberg, carrots, radishes, olive oil mayo and celery seed completed the meal. All done with everything just laying around (save the pre-cooked poultry) and all done in less time than it would take brown the beef in a traditional chili.

Every now and then, haste doesn’t make waste. This time it made leftovers.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Comfortably Complicated

Michael Leave a comment

I got a new cookbook. I love reading cookbooks, especially those with stories. This particular one is filled with things a real person in a real kitchen can cook for a real family. From scrambled eggs to roasted chicken to perfect hamburgers to seared scallops, there isn’t a bad recipe in the bunch.

I noticed something while I flipped through the pages and glanced at techniques and tools and anecdotes. The ones I stopped at first, the ones that caught my eye and I had to read from title to end, were those mysterious favorites – comfort foods. It was the stews and roasts, the turkey and mac and cheese that called to me. And not because they were my favorites.

A simple grilled salmon with a warm mustard sauce is probably the best thing I make and the most satisfying thing I eat. Yet the salmon recipe and all the other fish recipes waited for a later perusal. I’ve been known to work chicken into an entire week of meals. Chicken enchiladas, fried chicken, chicken salad all were passed by. What is a summer weekend without hamburgers on the grill? And there I think I figured out why the secrets behind the best burger stayed hidden.

It is the season for comfort. If I was reading this book for the first time in spring I might be reading of the versatile veggies. Summertime reading would lean toward that aforementioned hamburger and salmon. The dead of winter will be a good time to explore the bread and pizza recipes. But now, when the first frosts coat the world outside your window and the high temperatures are lower than the daily low temperatures of just a month ago, now is the time we look to warmth and comfort in our dinners. As the days grow shorter and the leaves turn and fall we seek out the meals that fill our homes with delightful scents and delectable platefuls.

They will be plenty of time to try out the new versions of grilled shrimp. This week I’ll work on some butternut squash soup.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Voice Activated

Michael Leave a comment

Do you have voice recognition software? I don’t. Oh, I have the thingy on my cell phone that lets me search, dial, or text verbally. But not on the computer. I’m ok with that. Living alone I almost always have something going for background noise – TV, music, even a radio now and then. I know from using the phone thingy that voice recognition is pretty good at that. It recognizes voices. But not only yours.

I can just imagine if I was drafting one of these posts and the TV was on. The final product might look like this.

—–

Do you have…the name your price tool? …Oh, I have… no cost maintenance on all remaining 2015s… that lets me… Come On Down! …But not on the computer. I’m… finger licking good. …Living alone I almost always have… erectile dysfunction. …TV, music, even a… model year end close-out. …I know from using the… attorney with the experience to win the big ones …that …The People’s Court… is pretty good at that. It recognizes… breakfast all day. …But …this is Jeopardy.

—–

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout …zero percent financing?

It’s Increditable

Michael Leave a comment

Recently I came into some money and did what I’ve wanted to do for years – pay off everything. You see, even though I’ve posted here any number of semi-rants about credit card companies and how we’ve come to pretty much ignore common sense and are willing to charge just about everything including a trip to McDonald’s, for years I had been guilty of just such stupidity. Over the past 5 or 6 years I hadn’t used a credit card but I was still paying for my imprudent spending for 30 years before then. Fortunately I have lived long enough to pay off all of those card and other loan balances.

Let me tell you now though, if you ever plan to do the same, prepare yourself for some pretty annoying communications between you and your soon to be former creditors. I knew enough to know that interest charged is charged daily. That means the balance you see on your statement isn’t your balance any more by the time you get your statement. I called every credit card company or bank (and there were a lot of them) to request payoff amounts. Out of ten lenders, only 3 representatives knew what I was asking. To the others, the thought of paying off everything owed was as foreign as using antennae to get TV reception.  They would parrot the auto-attendant’s parroting of the “last statement balance” and didn’t know that wasn’t the total balance. Fortunately I was able to get the information I needed from a call center supervisor. Perhaps that was unfortunate.

Even with a current balance in hand, a human on the phone, and an ability to pay the stated amount immediately, four of the accounts sent statements the following amount with new interest accrued and due. After making several more calls I was able to ascertain that the reason there were still balances was because although the amount paid equaled the amount due on the day of the call, the amount paid was not credited for 3 to 5 business days resulting in 3 to 5 days of accrued interest. So once again I had to request new payoff amounts and submit new payments. I was not amused.

One account I had actually overpaid. When given a figure it was for interest charged through the end of the billing cycle so when my payment was credited in 3 to 5 business days it was still a few days before the cycle ended and I ended up with a credit for that card. Since I was simultaneously closing accounts as I was paying them off, I had no account for the credit to be credited against. Yet, it was still listed as a credit on a following statement with no mention of how I was going to get my money back. Not wanting to, I called anyway. I was told certainly they could send me a refund check. I don’t know why but I had to ask, why they didn’t just send a check instead of a statement showing a credit for an account that didn’t exist. Their answer was that it was policy to report a balance on an inactive account for three billing cycles before issuing a refund. I thanked them for their information and informed them that if I ever decided to re-open a card with them I would consider the three month rule before I decide to issue them a check. They weren’t amused.

Who were these people anyway? The three cards’ telephone reps who hadn’t a clue about how to determine a payoff amount were all serviced by Citicards, the fourth was issued by RBS Citizens Financial.  The company who wanted to hang on to my money for three months unless I asked for it earlier was Discover. Capital One, USAA, and HSBC were the only creditors who actually were helpful in paying off their accounts.

Certainly it was my fault for getting into more credit than I had a right to. When I finally had the means to get out of debt instead of getting out of Dodge I did so. Apparently those I owed would have preferred I continued to owe them. That’s ok. It took a few months and lots of phone calls but now instead of a bunch of cards I carry around a bunch of money. Boy does that confuse the people at McDonald’s.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Encore, Again

Michael Leave a comment

The other day I watched Neil Simon’s Odd Couple II. Now that was odd. I never realized there was an Odd Couple II and I thought for sure I had seen everything that Neil Simon had written. Yet back in 1998 I missed that one. It was cute but had I missed it I probably wouldn’t have missed it.

Sequels are odd things in general. They can be wildly successful, consider the Hungry Games movies. They can be wildly unsuccessful ala the Hangover trilogy. Or they can be just plain unknown.

These are real movies with most if not all of the original cast (not direct to DVD or made for TV sequels banking on a movie name with actors names not household words like Road House 2 or Look What Happened to Rosemary’s Baby).

French Connection 2. The French Connection has what had been called the greatest car chase in movie history. An Oscar Winner in 1972 for best movie, best director, best adapted screenplay, and best actor (Gene Hackman), and nominated for best supporting actor (Roy Scheider). Hackman returned in the sequel four years later. Forty years later you can still find the French Connection on TV and movie sites but French Connection II has long been forgotten if it had ever been remembered at all.

Shock Treatment: This is a sort of sequel to the cult creating Rocky Horror Picture Show. Many of the original actors (though not Tim Curry) returned for this release six years after the Rocky Horror Picture Show but didn’t play the same characters as in the original movie.  Critically some called Shock Treatment a better film than the Rocky Horror Picture Show but where the latter has grossed $140 million in North American sales, the former hasn’t earned a quarter of that. But it is still out there and hit the London theater district with a live version in the spring of this year.

Psycho II (and III and even IV). Alfred Hitchcock’s classic thriller was reborn as Anthony Perkins reprised his role three times as Norman Bates. The only thing scary in the returns to the Bates Motel are that they were made at all. (Actually Pyscho IV isn’t a return. It is a prequel and was released as a made for TV movie.)

Then there are those sequels that some might not even know are sequels.

The Color of Money. With great performances by Paul Newman and Tom Cruise as mentor and student pool players, Newman’s Edie Felson character first hit the screen 25 years earlier when he starred as the young gun with Jackie Gleason as the established pool player and George C. Scott the mover and shaker in The Hustler.

They Call Me Mister Tibbs. Sidney Poitier repeated his role of Virgil Tibbs from In the Heat of the Night although he moved from Philadelphia to San Francisco to do it. The original movie was set in Sparta Mississippi where Philadelphian Poitier changes trains after visiting his mother. In the John Ball novel upon which the series is based, Virgil Tibbs is a police officer from Pasadena who is waiting for a train in Wells, South Carolina. In the sequel, Mr. Tibbs got to solve the crime in San Francisco where he now lives. A third movie, The Organization, also starring Sidney Poitier as Virgil Tibbs completed the movie franchise. The book series spanned seven novels and four short stories featuring Tibbs. In the Heat of the Night is the only title and plot shared by movie and book offerings.

Imitation is the highest form of flattery, so in 1820 said Charles Caleb Colton. Maybe that’s why there are so many sequels. Of course, that quote itself might be a sequel to other similarly worded sentiments from a couple hundred years earlier.  Sometimes sequels end up being an odd couple of movies, sometimes just plain odd, sometimes anything but odd. One thing is for sure, sequels will always be another thing.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Aged to Perfection (?)

Michael Leave a comment

I think I’m getting older. No, not old age older but things are starting to take on a more senior disposition than, oh let’s say 2 or 3 months ago.

I noticed it while sitting at a stop sign waiting to make a left turn. And waiting, and waiting, and waiting some more. It was but a couple of months ago that I would have edged my way in as long as I had a one or two car length head start on that truck barreling through the intersection. And even though I came to complete stops, signaled for turns, and stayed right except to pass, I was decidedly brusque in my driving.

What I was driving is another sign of the years creeping up on me. After 30 years of trucks and SUVs I have made my primary ride a mid-size, American sedan. In dark blue even. What’s next, a full-sized Cadillac registered in Florida?

I stopped for breakfast at a nearby diner. The waitress took orders from the trio sitting at a nearby table. “I’ll put that right in,” she said and turned to the nearby kitchen door and delivered the order to the probably nearby cook. I know she was being polite and efficient but did she really need to tell the table that she would be putting their order in immediately? It was breakfast. Nobody was having cocktails or appetizers. If not “right in” when would she place the order? After the lunch rush? It was just a little thing but I ruminated on that for the rest of my eggs. Now that’s something only an oldster would do.

But what really concerns me about the impending golden years are my pants. These are the same pants I’ve worn for the past several weight changes. They are worn in the same manner – put on one leg at a time and pulled to my waist where they are secured with a belt. Just like everyone else. They look just fine standing up. But when I sat down this morning I felt them creep up my front until the belt was halfway between my shoulders and my waistline. Does this mean it’s only a matter of time until I’ll have to open my fly to scratch my neck? How did that happen? I didn’t buy those pants that way. They betrayed me!

I suppose I should just face it. I’m getting older. Thank Heaven I’m not getting more mature.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Life Needs a Soundtrack

Michael Leave a comment

Do you know a problem with real reality? There are no clues to what’s coming next. Life needs a soundtrack.

Watch any movie or television show, even the so-called “reality” shows, and you see that they all have musical accompaniment. It’s quite clear when someone or something is to be happy, sad, humorous, suspenseful, romantic, mysterious, thrilling, or chilling. Just about the only time the background is silent is when the director intends for extreme drama. Even commercials have background music. Everything from auto insurance to male erectile dysfunction therapy has an associated tune. Why can’t we.

It sounded like a good idea when it popped into my head. Heaven knows there’s enough music up there. I’m always mentally humming a tune, a jingle, a theme. How hard would it be for that to be amplified and spill out around me so I know for sure what mood I’m in – not to mention everyone else who might be in the area?

It’s hard enough to get through a day without being misunderstood. Think of all the relationships that could be saved if there was a full orchestra ready to turn despair to hope, hope to thought, and thought to action. Imagine the peace people could experience if daily routines were spiced up with a bluesy southern anthem or smoothed out by a soft jazz composition. Think of your daily commute to the tune of a driving chorus instead of the tune of blaring horns and mufflers in need of repair.

If you really want to explore this idea, can we consider making life a musical? On second thought, I don’t know if I can handle a sudden eruption of song and dance while standing in line at the deli counter. “You’re the ham that I want. Ooo, ooo, ooo honey,” doesn’t run trippingly off the tongue even if you are looking for that tasty lunchmeat. No, just a soft background perhaps of Dave Matthews Band’s Pig song.

Like I said, it sounded like a good idea when it popped into my head.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Double Coupons

Michael Leave a comment

I’m so frustrated. I was doing my weekly coupon thing (you know about from reading “Past Their Prime” (Oct. 13, 2014)) and I discovered I am throwing out more old coupons than I am adding new ones. The problem is that I don’t need four cans of soup and if I did I’d like to save more than 25 cents on the transaction.

Manufacturer coupon writers are getting greedy. It’s no longer enough to encourage repeat buyers to continue repeating or to entice new buyers to try their items. Now they want to move as much product as possible in as short a time as possible.

The retailers aren’t helping much either. A few years ago it was routine to find supermarket ads with specials like 10 for $10 never caring if the buyer really bought 10, 6, 4, or just 1. They could have made the ad read 500 for $500 (a real steal as long as you have the storage space available) but the real price was actually one for one dollar (a real bargain and much less cabinet space required). (You know about this also because you read “Buy One, Get What?” Jan. 12, 2012.)  “Buy one get one” was just a fancy way of saying “half off.” That was then. This is now.

And now the ads are much more literal (not to be confused with literary). If the ad says PowerAde is buy 10 get 10 free you better plan on buying 10 if you want to reap any savings. But before you get carried away clearing shelf space in the kitchen, know that the buy one/get one ratio is also changing. Now you’re more than likely to see buy 10 get 5, an overall savings of only 33%, not the 50% we’ve gotten used to.

The ads are full of buy 4 get 2, or buy 2 get 1. There are still some buy one get one deals but you better plan on walking out with two items and not think you’ll get away with one for half price. On the other hand, do that twice in one shopping trip and you can use that “save 25 cents on 4” coupon you’ve been holding on to.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Time Travel with a Chance of Meatballs

Michael Leave a comment

Have you seen this commercial? Some guy wants the newest version of his cell phone so he builds a time machine to go forward in time to when the contract on his current phone expires and he can upgrade. It’s not important what they are selling (well, it probably is to the company that paid for its production and air time but not to me). What is memorable about it is the end of the commercial. The time machine dings, the neighbor dude says “What’s that?” and the time traveler replies, “Just my lunch. Leftovers from tomorrow’s dinner.”

That really stuck with me. I can’t explain it but I like the idea. Imagine if we really did have time travel. What would you do? Where, or when, would you go – to some past historic event, perhaps the defining moment in mankind’s history? Ok, when would that be? Is there really some single event that created the essence of who we are today? Maybe you want to go forward in time to a not yet occurred event. But if it hasn’t yet occurred how do you know you want to go there, or then? Nope, I think regardless of how sophisticated we want to think we are our needs are pretty uncomplicated.  Food, shelter, sex. And the greatest of these is food.

It was just yesterday that I was thinking I needed lunch. Badly. I was hungry and I didn’t have anything to make a light meal with. I could have put a sandwich together but I wasn’t in a sandwich mood. I could have made a wrap but that’s just a sandwich that knows somebody. I could have had yogurt but why. What I really wanted was some spaghetti and meatballs. As luck would have it, that was the plan for today’s dinner and I was well aware of it at the time.

Think of the possibilities. Some big problem with leftovers is storing them (my fridge is always too full and by the time the next day comes around I’ve forgotten most of what’s In there), heating them (microwaves turn everything gummy, ovens take forever, and stovetops create as big a mess to clean up as the first time around), and eating them (face it, except for chili, nothing is better after sitting around for a day). Had I had a time machine I could have zipped from yesterday to today and put together a leftover plate, travelled back to yesterday and had the lunch I wanted. There’d be no storage issue, it would have still been hot so no heating would be necessary, and it would have tasted fresh since it is, was(?), will be(?). A bonus is there would be no waste. Nothing to sit around in the refrigerator, forgotten until the day before garbage pick-up day.

Yep, if I were to get my hands on a time machine I could solve the leftover problems of the world. It’s a great thing that commercial. I have no idea what they were trying to sell but they unintentionally sold me on spending some time inventing practical time travel. Gotta run. Today’s meatballs are calling. I hope I remember them tomorrow.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

In The Dark

Michael Leave a comment

I was on the road around 7:30 in the evening the other day and I noticed something. It was almost dark. It hadn’t yet turned into Fall and it was already dark before prime time television began. You do realize what that means. Don’t you? Yes, another time change is coming.

When I saw that the cars around me had their headlights on and it was only 7:30, I flashed on what it would be like only six short weeks from now. We go through this every fall. On the last Saturday of October we will turn our clocks back an hour, gaining an hour of sleep that night but losing many, many hours of sanity as the trade-off. That’s because you can’t be sane when it gets dark before the six o’clock news comes on. Or in the deepest throes of winter, before the five o’clock news comes on! The only good thing about this year will be that I won’t be leaving for work in the morning and coming home in the evening, both ways in darkness. Little consolation that will be only because I won’t be working. Instead I’ll get to sit at home and see how short the day really is as those few daylight hours march on. And march on they will, quickly, and too few of them, until March when we get to reset our clocks to DST (Daylight Saving Time or as I prefer Daylight Sanity Time).

This blog is loaded with posts on time changes. Why we change our clocks, why we change them back, who doesn’t go through this ritual, and other thoughtful answers for inquisitive minds. There are so many I can’t list them here. If you’re interested, type in Daylight Saving Time into the search box on the home page and pick a couple to review. I’ll give you a synopsis here. I don’t like it. I don’t like reverting to Standard Time every fall.

After the last Saturday of October there’ll be nothing fun left to do but wait for Daylight Saving Time to return. Ok, there will be Christmas. And New Years. And Thanksgiving. And Groundhog Day. Mustn’t forget Groundhog Day. But otherwise, the fun will be done until spring springs ahead into Daylight Saving Time and we recapture the evening sun.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?