What I Did On Election Day

I don’t know about you but I had a very full day this past Tuesday. And the high point was not the 105 minutes that I stood in line outside the polls waiting for my turn to spend 35 seconds in the voting booth. It sort of reminded me of having an EKG done. But that’s a different story.

My Election Day activities actually began Monday evening when a knock came upon my door. About the only people who knock on my door are relatives and the UPS driver. I knew it wasn’t UPS because when he comes a-knockin’ I’ll hear the truck rumbling outside my window then the THUD of the package and the single rap that follows. And it wasn’t a relative because any of them won’t wait to be received but will knock and then enter on their own. Since this was a “knock, knock” without an accompanying THUD or a subsequent “Hello!” it meant I was going to have to climb out of the recliner where I had just settled in with a much read 38 year old Lawrence Sanders novel.

Upon making my way across the room and opening the door I saw there the rather confused looking yet still earnest looking young man who asked if he might speak to Rosemary. I was tempted to fetch him my terra cotta bound woody herb but even with just those few moments to rush to judgement I decided he wouldn’t get it. So I said, “I’m sorry, there is no Rosemary here,” resisting the temptation to slam the door shut as I returned to Mr. Todd’s ongoing investigation.

Tuesday morning I was up early, showered, shaved, breakfasted on eggs, sausage, muffin, juice and coffee, and set off to do my patriotic duty. The large breakfast was because I figured it was going to be a bit of a wait so I wanted to be properly fortified; the shower and shave was because you never know who you might meet wherever crowds gather. I had gotten as far as the outside of my front door when I was met with my first head-scratcher. A note. A sticky note. A sticky note stuck to the outside of my front door that read, “Rosemary, Stopped by to remind you to get out and vote!” I was certain the young chap meant to conclude with “XOXO” but ran out of crayon.

With those thoughts pushed deep into the darkest corner of my mind I drove the few miles down the road to where two of my municipality’s 12 districts share a building. The building’s south entrance, where residents of District 7 go to vote, had about 12 people waiting visible through the glass doors. I could tell because I saw them after I found the end of the line of District 9 voters stretching from the building’s north entrance, across a portico, though a tree-lined courtyard with some tenaciously holding onto quite a few leaves (trees, not voters), and along the overflowing parking lot. And there I joined the mini-throng where people wondered out loud how far they would have to move in order to get to vote with District 7.voted

To make a long story short I should have stopped about 350 words ago. But since I’ve gotten you to read this far, let me continue.

While there in line I got to hear how to mark fabric for cutting out a pattern when you have no tailor’s chalk, the shortcomings of Candy Crush versus Bejeweled, why 12 year olds can’t vote, that yes this is the same polling place for District 9 as it has been for at least 12 years, why if banks can take your money at any branch you can’t go to vote at any poll, and who are all these other people (that one by the obviously clueless but much too old looking to be a first time voter upon seeing the complete sample ballot indicating all of the candidates in all of the day’s races at the building entrance).

From there it was only another 15 minutes or so until I was through the rest of the line and being ushered to a machine where I was left to make my selections. In all of the day’s races. I was on my way to the exit doors when a poll worker stopped me and said he had run out of “I VOTED!” stickers but if I’d wait he would only be a few minutes while he went to get more from his supply across the room. “No thank you,” I told him. “If I really need to prove I voted I’m sure my new nervous twitch due to the muscle memory of trying to fight the urge not to push the “Cast Your Vote” button will convince just about anybody that I did what I had to do to get my free cup of coffee.”

And then I went home and had some coffee. With just a wee bit of bourbon to sweeten the brew!

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Truth in Advertising

One more day and it’s Election Day across America. And this post has NOTHING to do with the election. Yippee!!!

But it is about something that I discovered during the crazed advertising season that this crazed election season has turned into. And it’s something that the consumer advertisers can learn from those abhorrent televised political ads. (But the politicos can learn a thing or two from consumer advertisers so don’t think they’re going to get off without a talking to (or about).)

Did you know that there are actually specific regulations to which political ads are expected to adhere? For one thing, any small print on a political ad can’t be small. Actually it can’t be any smaller, nor in any font/background combination less contrasting, than the smallest font in the body of the ad. Can you imagine what this would mean to the legal, insurance, and new car advertising industry? No more teeny print containing the printed equivalent of a 12 page disclaimer packed into the bottom 2% of the screen, that’s what it would mean!

Another expectation of those political ads is the famous equal time provision. Whatever time is bought by Candidate A must be made available to Candidate B. And there would be no question about a broadcaster not airing either because the law states that television and radio stations must provide commercial time to presidential candidates. (These provisions address time bought by the candidates or their own campaign committees, not to the time purchased by third parties “not affiliated with any candidate.”)  Imagine how easy it would be to truly evaluate the benefits of the Chevy you’re contemplating buying if you were able to see the Ford commercial right after it.

Of course that’s all assuming that the information presented in those competing ads actually addressed factual information regarding the advertised product. And we know they do because of the truth in advertising laws out there. You would never hear a commercial for a Ford say “Don’t buy a Chevy. They can start all by themselves and run you over in your own driveway.” You’d never hear it because nobody would ever produce or air such a statement. But that’s where the politicians can take a cue from the consumer advertiseronadvertisings. Did you know that there is a regulation that a broadcaster cannot vet, edit, or refuse to air a political ad? What they get from the campaign is what they put on the air.

David Ogilvy was a wizard in advertising. In fact in 1962, Time Magazine called him “the most sought-after wizard in today’s advertising industry.” He has been called the Father of Advertising and is known for his attention to reality and his ability to persuade by carrying on a conversation with his audience. He was a pioneer in creating ads that didn’t insult the intelligence of the consumer. Unfortunately his children haven’t been following his life’s lessons whether pushing car makers or candidates.

Now that I think of it, the politicians could stand to learn that lesson also. Perhaps it’s a lesson at least one of them can sign up for on Wednesday.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

PS – Don’t forgot to vote – assuming you have some idea what you are voting for. Yes, I said “what,” not “who.” If you can’t articulate at least one cogent reason for casting your ballot other than “at least it’s not a vote for him/her/it/them” then, um, maybe it would be better if you did forget to vote.

Getting Even

It’s time to do it again. This Saturday we go through the twice yearly resetting of the clocks returning from Daylight Saving Time to Standard Time, reclaiming the hour lost six months ago. Almost 3/4 of the world move their clocks back and forth each spring and fall so there’s little I can say to add to people’s already well-rehearsed feat. That didn’t stop me from chipping my 17 cents (inflation) into the pot a handful of times already but I was certain it would be enough to stop me from a sixth time. And it would have been but for an article I saw in yesterday’s paper. (Now that I think about it, quite a few of my most recent posts have been prompted by something I saw in the paper. I wonder what that says about me, other than that I still get my news from the paper?)

changeclockAlthough I’ve poked fun at our semi-annual temporal shifts, this particular article that I read was quite serious about the effects of, and tips to adapt to, the change in time, comparing it to the effects of jet lag. Uh, hello. We’re talking about an hour, not having to deal with the effects of not sleeping through a flight from New York to Brussels. Is it really necessary to go to bed 15 minutes earlier each night for 4 nights so that by Saturday we’ll not subject ourselves to the drama of shifting an entire hour as a single event? I seem to recall quite a few nights in my life when I went to bed an hour earlier or later, or mornings when I arose an hour after or before I intended and life still went on. I can tell because my life went on.

The author suggested that a consequence of the fall time change is a greater number of accidents because people stay up later, sometimes drinking, and end up driving sleepier or more intoxicated. Again, we’re talking an extra hour, not an extra evening, and I’m certain there are many, many more people spending this extra hour at home in bed rather than imbibing in an extra fall cocktail. As far as those who are out and about guzzling pumpkin ales at 2 o’clock this Sunday morning, I really don’t think this Sunday morning is going to be unique among Sunday mornings for them and we should be thankful that we’re one of the many, many more who spent that extra hour in bed.

I may be all wrong about this but I think that the greatest consequence to the time change is that some people will forget to re-set their clocks and will end up an hour early for church this Sunday. Perhaps those folks can spend that extra time there praying for the roustabouts who spent an extra hour socializing the night before.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Scary Stuff and Other Frightening Things

What scares you? Are you like Franklin Roosevelt going about life fearing nothing but fear itself (which can be either all-comforting or all-encompassing depending on your particular bend)? Or are you like Charlie Brown troubled with real imagined fears (or imagined real fears) but most afraid of rejection by the Little Red Haired Girl? Or are you more likely to be afraid of those things that everybody else says are more afraid of you than you are of them (your fears, not everybody else)?

Well, fear no more about being besot with fearful fears and fearing nobody knows the fears that you fear.  Chapman University has released its 2016 List of Fears just in time for Halloween 2016 – or Election Day 2016 depending on that bend again. OK, it released it three weeks ago but it took me a while to find it. It took me two weeks to even realize it was out there to be found!ghost

What I found when I found it is that it’s actually kind of frightening to think about some of the things people are afraid of. Almost 22% of those survey are afraid of the government using drones within the country’s borders. They didn’t specify what they were afraid of those drones doing, presumably just hanging out and watching. Nearly sixteen percent expressed a fear of technology, specifically “technology that I don’t understand.” If I was in that group I’d be in huge trouble. I don’t even understand how a radio works and we’re talking nineteenth century technology.

The order people give to fears also makes one wonder. More people are afraid of having property stolen (25.5%) than of being the victim of a violent crime (19.4%). So much for “at least you weren’t hurt; you can always replace things” being words of comfort to a break-in victim. Same goes for those who are just slightly less afraid of ObamaCare (It certainly has problems but I’m not sure how you actually can be afraid of it) and credit card fraud (both coming in at 35.5%) than having a loved one being seriously ill or dying (35.9% and 38.1% respectively).

But it’s Halloween. Surely ghosts and goblins are on the list somewhere. Ghosts, yes (8.9%), goblins, no. But zombies strike fear in even more people than ghosts do (10.2%). Yet even with all the recent bad publicity, clowns are the second least feared item on this year’s list frightening 7.8% of those surveyed (and coming in a whole percentage point higher than the fear of others talking about you behind your back – something I’m not afraid of at all since I’m sure most of you do as soon as you finish reading one of these posts).

So what was the one thing most feared by Americans? From over 1500 responses to 79 identified fears, Americans most feared not some natural disaster, not some man-made disaster, not even some supernatural disaster. Over 60% of Americans (60.6% to be as exact as the survey said), are most afraid of corrupt government officials. Now, if you’re living in Denmark you probably can’t relate to the thought of government corruption but then you still believe in the boogeyman.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

To see the complete list of fears, click here. Oh, go ahead. Don’t be scared.

 

Uncovering a Hidden Harvest

Every now and then, someone does something so terrific you have to sit back and say to yourself, “Wow, there are some really good people out there.” I recently saw a story in the news about what I hope isn’t a unique program to rescue food right from our collective backyards.

Every major metro area has some kind of food rescue program where restaurants and retailers donate unused prepared food or near to expired meats and cheeses or bruised produce to local food banks rather than toss it all into the dumpsters. In Pittsburgh there is a group that is rescuing food going to waste right under their noses. Or rather, above their heads. That is the unharvested fruits and nuts from neighborhood trees.

fruitThere probably isn’t a neighborhood in the country where fruit and nut trees don’t provide shade and beauty to their homeowners. But how often does anybody consider how much food those tress, so often considered solely ornamental, bear? Apparently the Hidden Harvest Pittsburgh group, and now as part of 412 Food Rescue, has considered just that since 2014.

Considering that there are fruit and nut trees all over America there must be similar programs elsewhere. But a quick internet search came up pretty empty. In fact, I had a hard time finding much information about the Pittsburgh group and I was certain that I hadn’t imagine the news report during some weird dream filled night. If that was the case, I would have given up trying to find out more about them. But I pressed on, or more accurately, clicked on.

What I did find out about them is that 412 Food Rescue’s Hidden Harvest team uncovered 2300 pounds of food from backyard and city park trees this year. Now that’s a ton of rescued food. Literally.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

To see the news cast that I didn’t dream up, click here.

Just Shoot Me

I’ve been shot. I suppose it was about 10 days ago now. I got my flu shot. I can probably count on one hand the number of years I didn’t get a flu shot all the way back to when I can remember doctors keeping lollipops on their desks for the good boys and girls who got their flu shots.

For years I worked in a hospital and getting a flu shot was just something you did every year. It went along with doing annual evaluations, decorating for Halloween, complaining about getting a lousy turkey for a Christmas bonus, and renewing your parking permit. Everyone grumbled about it but everyone did it.flu

Now that I’m not working I have to remind myself to get a flu shot. And while I was busy reminding myself I thought I’d remind you. Get your flu shot.  If you are a southern hemisphere resident hold that thought for 6 months.

I never understood people who would come up with a dozen different reasons not to get a flu shot when it’s so effective at preventing the flu and when getting the flu can be so devastating. No, you won’t get the flu from the flu shot. You can’t get the flu from a flu shot any more than a zombie will eat your brains. The virus in the flu shot is dead – even more dead than an undead zombie. It can’t come back to life and infect you. What can happen is that you can get a cold or a fall allergy or a seasonal bacterial sinus or respiratory infection coincidentally to when you get the flu shot but it’s not the flu.

You can get the flu in the same year that you get the flu shot if you don’t get it at the right time. Now is the right time. The flu shot doesn’t start working the instant the needle pierces your skin. It takes about two weeks for the vaccine to work its magic on your immune system so it is at its peak in protecting you against a live flu infection. You should schedule your shot about a month before the anticipated beginning of the flu season. If you wait too long to get a flu shot and you are exposed to the flu virus before your body can adequately prepare enough antibodies to repel an assault you can get the flu. The high dose version of the flu shot may provide effective resistance a bit sooner but should not be used as an option to timely inoculation.

You can also get the flu late in the season even if you got a flu shot if the circulating viruses mutate more quickly than expected and if your immune system is weakened by age or compromised by other diseases or conditions. For individuals with compromised immune systems the flu vaccine should be active for about six months. If you have weakened immune system and the active flu season in your area is expected to last past March or April you might consider asking your physician if you should repeat the flu shot six months after your initial vaccination.

Sorry if this post sounded too much like a public service announcement. It’s probably just a result of those years I spent in public service.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Just Like Mom Used To Make

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when I ask where your favorite food comes from?  Now, what is the first thing that you think of when I ask where the best food comes from? Although not mutually exclusive, they are also often not consistent.

Often, though not always, a favorite food is home cooking. This makes sense since you are your best personal chef. If not you then your mom, dad, spouse, child, significant other, or, for some, your personal chef knows what you like, how you like it, and makes it often enough and well enough that you probably have a recipe file full of favorites. But the best stuff is partly the best stuff because it isn’t done at home. It’s something you can’t make, can’t get the ingredients for, can’t master the technique of, is something special, is a treat, is made, served and cleared by somebody else.

My favorite food is pizza. Any pizza, though I have a soft spot for pizza margherita. I’ll make it, I’ll buy it, I’ll fashion it out of foods that probably shouldn’t even go together. Chicken, bacon, spinach, and ricotta with garlic ranch dressing come to mind. There’s something quite comfortable about pizza. There must be. It’s managed to work its way into a few handfuls of posts, including one devoted entirely to pizza.

Where do I feel the best food comes from? Mind you, not the best single dish I ever had but in general the consistently best food I can count on having at any given time. It’s not at home. I’m pretty good but I can screw up a meal on a frighteningly regular basis. (And I really have to move that smoke detector a little further away from the kitchen. The neighbors always know when I’m working on a stir fry.) The best food I ever and always have is at a little neighborhood diner. In general I like diners. They also have appeared in more than a few posts here including one that combined diners and pizza (before this one). But this particular diner is the best of the bunch. The gravy is a cardiologist’s nightmare (or dream if he happens to need to make a couple of boat payments), and everything has the option to include an egg on it, including the pizza. I have never walked out of there without saying to myself, “I’d order that again” yet have never ordered the same thing twice. I’ve tried to order the Reuben omelet twice but it’s only available on the second Saturday of the month and I usually sleep in on that one.

What’s your favorite food choice? What’s the best food to you? Are they the same? Try answering those questions without thinking. Just jot down the first thing that comes to your mind. Then give it some thought. You might find yourself spending more time that you think over that one.

And you might find me having pizza for lunch today.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

An All American Special Edition

It’s not Monday. It’s not Thursday. Why is there a Real Reality post today? Because it’s Presidential Debate #3. Before you go running off, stick with me for just a minute. This is NOT a “political” post, it is NOT an endorsement, it is NOT a rant. It’s a plea to the American readers to stop and take a breath. I can’t take listening to the rants of everybody else – door knockers, phone callers, TV ads, political “experts,” and the so-call politicians themselves about how unfit these choices are.

Stop! I don’t care if you are fervently supporting one or the other, if you use your head and are truly honest to yourself, you see it too.

Look, every election from the second one has had at least one candidate harping on why the other candidate(s) is and/or are unfit for the office. But this has to be the first time that there have been NO ads by a candidate extolling past positive results by him or herself. If you were in the position to hire an employee for your workplace would you sit through an interview where the candidate never speaks to his or her past results but rather details the reasons why the other applicants are irresponsible choices and you shouldn’t have even ever considered them? Likewise, it you were applying for a job that comes with a guaranteed four year contract and the option for a similar extension, would you not probably spend as much time and energy as possible documenting your past work experience, successes, references, and plans for advancement?

For as many elections as I remember I have heard people say “I don’t like John Doe so I’m going to vote for Joe Smith.” But again, perhaps for the first time, are there television ads of people saying “I don’t agree with [fill in the blank, they’ve both run them], but I just can’t vote for [t’other one] so I’m going to vote for someone I really don’t care for either.” I’m sure when each party saw who the other party was going to nominate for president cheers went up around the wargames tables. And then when each party saw who their party was going to nominate for president eyebrows went up.

You know, there actually are other choices. On the presidential ballot in every state there will be a third candidate. Yep, if you really can’t see yourself brushing the touch screen (does anybody still have levers?) for Clinton or Trump you can consider Johnson. In at least 45 states (as of the end of last month, perhaps more by Election Day) you can also consider Stein. Don’t know who those other two are? You won’t see them on tonight’s debate any more than you’ll see any rational discussion of platforms, policies, or proposals. Plop them into your favorite search engine and search.

I meant what I said when I began this post. This is NOT an endorsement. I don’t mean to tell you that you should consider voting for a third, or a fourth party candidate. What I do mean to tell you is that if you are really going to make your vote count you better be making that vote based on something other than sound bites, attack ads, and non-debates. It takes more than just voting to do your civic duty. It takes casting an informed vote.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

It’s a Hockey Night

The National Hockey League season began last week and I got for the second time to see the Stanley Cup and watch a championship banner being raised on an opening night. I’ve been watching hockey in my home town since before there was a NHL team in my home town. I saw a pro AHL hockey game before I saw a MLB baseball or NHL football game. And I even understand most of the rules.

Hockey is the perfect sport. It has the grace of skating, the power of football, the strategy of soccer, and the speed of Formula One racing. Hockey fans are engaged with the play on the ice. The pace of the game means most minutes are spent watching the action. Without stoppages between each play and possession change there are few opportunities for bad behavior. I defy anybody to go to a hockey game and not have a good time. In the words of hockey Hall of Famer “Badger” Bob Johnson, every day is “a great day for hockey!”

greatdayforhockeyIt’s been great days for hockey since the 1920s when the NHL fielded ten teams. Because of the Great Depression and World War II, several of the original teams folded or suspended operation. By 1942 only six teams remained and are today considered the NHL’s Original Six – Boston Bruins, Chicago Black Hawks, Detroit Red Wings, Montreal Canadiens, New York Rangers, and Toronto Maple Leafs, all still playing. In 1967 the NHL undertook a major expansion and added six more franchises, the Next Six or Second Six – California Seals, Los Angeles Kings, Minnesota North Stars, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins and St. Louis Blues. The Los Angeles, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, and St. Louis teams continue to play in the NHL. The California Seals originally out of Oakland, California moved to Cleveland in 1976 and played as the Barons until they ceased operations in 1978. The Minnesota North Stars moved to Dallas and changed their name to the Stars. Today the NHL consists of thirty teams across the United States and Canada.

Just because the action stays on the ice doesn’t mean that hockey fans don’t bring their own fanaticisms to the rink and don’t have just as many of them outside of the games. For years there was an enthusiast who sat somewhere behind me who began early in the game and continued throughout the 60 minutes of play exhorting the home team to “bury the biscuit!” So persistent was he in his chanting that we dubbed him Barry the Biscuit. I didn’t hear his cry last week at the opener. Perhaps he has given up his song.  Or perhaps because I changed my seats I just wasn’t within hearing range although my daughter claims she even heard him on a televised gamed.

Over the weekend I got one of what seems a weekly hockey catalog in the mail. Each one can be counted on to display replica game jerseys (or sweaters as hockey aficionado prefer), shirts, caps, jackets, cards, pucks, and sticks. Over the year more – um relaxed apparel has been featured including tank-tops, pajamas, robes, even swimwear. Perhaps they’ve always been available and I just missed them but this year, in quite a prominent spot just opposite the order form, was a full page of intimate apparel including women and men (yes, men) thongs. Hmm. I suppose somewhere for someone it’s a great night for hockey.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Troubled Waters

Perhaps the almost constant news of Hurricane Matthew got me thinking about water and oceans and being safe. Being about 350 miles away from the Atlantic, my personal experiences with hurricanes have been mostly rainy days and newscasts. The last time I remember a hurricane making a direct impact on my town was Hurricane Ivan in 2004.

I can never figure out why American journalists have decided that the best time to go to the beach is when a hurricane is due to hit land. While the news anchors are exhorting the public to move inland, the field reporters stand on a dock somewhere in the wind and rain with boats jostling on the waves behind them telling those who tuned into the newscast that they are on a dock somewhere in high winds and heavy rain battering the boats left behind by their evacuating owners. The boats will be fine, fellas. How about spending some time with the boat owners and everyone else hunkered down in a shelter fearing for their lives and loved ones.

Something completely unrelated then got me thinking about ships at sea. I’ve never been on a ship at sea. The only times I’ve been on any boat larger than one you can pull behind your SUV was a ferry from Long Beach to Catalina (a once was enough experience), a sailboat in the Gulf of Mexico (a once in a lifetime experience), and a fishing boat on Lake Erie (a perennial favorite). In yesterday’s paper there was an article about some guy who posted a video of a ghost ship sighted on Lake Superior near Marquette, Michigan. Experts said it probably was a lighthouse that appeared to be moving because of visual illusions due to water vapor and mist. The article wrapped up saying that between 6,000 and 30,000 ships have been lost on the Great Lakes.     le-griffon

Wait a minute. Between 6,000 and 30,000 ships have been lost on the Great Lakes? That’s a heck of range. Because I have that kind of time (as you by now undoubtedly know) I thought I’d do some research. I found about 150 documented shipwrecks on Lake Erie alone. (I started there since if it ever should come to it, that’s the body of water that would probably do me in.) In all, I found documentation for 302 ships that sunk in the Great Lakes since the “Le Griffon” went down in a storm on Lake Huron in 1679. That’s a far cry from 30,000 but that’s still a bunch of boats. How would that compare to an ocean, say the Atlantic Ocean with its annual 6 month hurricane window?

Again, because I still have the time, I did some research. As near as I have been able to put together, beginning in 1600 (so we can compare oranges to oranges) I found 310 ships going down – excluding warships during times of war – in the Atlantic and her contiguous seas. The cynic in me thought with the size, scope, and weather on an open sea that there would have been more. The good guy in me appreciates the lives spared on all the thousands of ships that stayed afloat. Although many wrecks were attributed to weather conditions, I was only able to determine that five went down in hurricanes. The most recent was the freighter “el Faro” that was lost in Hurricane Joaquin last year.

I’m not sure how I got from hurricanes to Lake Huron nor from there back to hurricanes. If you do, you probably understand my mind better than I. And that is truly something to be scared of.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

(Image of “Le-Griffon” By Father Louis Hennepin, via Wikimedia Commons, PD)