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Raise a Pint or Two

Michael 2 Comments

I won’t keep you long today. If you’re in the US you don’t want to be late for the parade and mattress sale right after you post the obligatory “It’s not just about picnics” Facebook post. If you’re not in the US you have something similar going on or could use a day off from my anyway.

BloodI came up with a dandy idea on how you can actually remember that they gave their all. Give a pint of yours. Really remember Memorial Day with a trip to the blood bank and donate a pint or two. Yes, you can give two if you donate just red cells. And when you get your plasma back you get a little extra fluid and you actually leave the donation center feeling better than you did when you got there. And you still get a cookie. Trust me I know.

So raise a pint to those who gave their all!

Penny for My Thoughts

Michael 7 Comments

It’s another one of those days when I have all these questions in my head and it’s going to explode if I don’t take some pressure off it and get them out in the open. Feel free to fill in any blanks you can.

I was reading one of my food-centric magazines and came across an article on the most important kitchen tools to pack for your next vacation. The only tool I’m planning on using on vacation for dinner is my telephone to call for reservations.

Sticking with food, I recently made a (surprisingly really good!) two ingredient bagel recipe I found on the Interwebs. I wonder if anybody else noticed it took six ingredients.*

There’s been a glut of TV commercials for guaranteed life insurance. You know, the kind that “you can never be turned down and your rates will never go up.” They all cost “35 cents a day.” Never more, never less. The coverage you get varies depending on how old you are and probably your zip code but the rate is always “35 cents a day.” But did you ever try to buy a day’s worth of insurance? Sure, they’ll quote you that rate but see what kind of answer you get if you ask them to draw “35 cents a day” from your checking account.

QuestionSince I brought up the high finance world, have to you noticed the ads for that company who will protect your personal information, information that impacts your credit reports and affects your credit score, from the “dark web.” They probably know something about it because wasn’t that the same company whose data bases that hold all your personal information, credit reports, and credit score were breached a couple years ago, maybe even by someone on the “dark web.”

Why, after years of encouraging hands-free phone use and no text use in cars, are we now making cars with multifunction touch screens in the middle of the dashboard in place of the traditional tactile buttons and knobs?

Does anybody else remember Dag Hammarskjöld?

—–

*One cup flour, 1&1/2 tsp baking powder, 1/2 teaspoon salt, one cup plain Greek yogurt, one beaten egg, toppings of you choice (I used sea salt and cracked pepper on two and onion flakes on the other two so I guess I actually used 8 ingredients). Whisk flour, salt, and baking powder together, add yogurt to combined flour mixture and mix until combined, flour work surface and knead until dry(ish), form into ball and cut into four pieces, roll each piece into a 6-8 inch log and turn into a circle, brush with beaten egg, top as desired, place on parchment lined baking sheet, bake at 350 degrees for 24 minutes then at 450 for 4 minutes more.

 

More Lessons on Ice

Michael 5 Comments

When they were picking teams for dodge ball in the playground behind the school, were you one of the last to go? OK, clearly I’m old. You can tell by the references to dodge ball, playground, and the picking of teams for any activity not associated with trivia night at the bar. Even if you are too young to remember these, or too savvy to acknowledge them, you probably have heard of such things as being “picked last in grade school for..” in many episodes of The Big Bang Theory. And you know it didn’t get them down. They all now make lots of money and are really big stars. I’m sorry, I’m mixing real life with fantasy.

But somewhere being unwanted and reaching a modicum of pinnacle-ness of success is happening right here in North American reality. Those are the NHL Vegas Golden Knights. The first expansion team to reach the Stanley Cup Final and proof once again that all you need to know to survive and succeed you can learn from hockey.

Ok, first things first. I said the first expansion team to the reach the final round and you keep hearing in the sports reports that they are the second. Technically, the St. Louis Blues reached the final in their inaugural year but only because in 1967 the NHL decided to make one conference out of all six expansion teams and the other one out of the existing six teams, thereby guaranteeing an expansion team a spot in the finals. Five of the six “Eastern Division” existing teams finished the season with more points than any of the six expansion “Western Division” teams and the Montreal Canadiens swept the final round in four games.

VGN

Vegas Golden Knights

Enough of history though. Back to the future when the Golden Knights will be the first expansion team to get to the Stanley Cup Final by winning their way there. With a team made up of a bunch of guys nobody wanted. When the expansion draft that stocked the Vegas team with players took place last year, each existing team was allowed to protect 10 or 12 players depending on how many offense versus defense skaters were included on the protected list and that included a goaltender. Each NHL team can dress 24 players (usually 22 skaters and 2 goaltenders) per game. So the existing teams could protect up to half of who they would put on the ice for a typical game. And Vegas could select one of the remaining “bottom half” talent.

And out of this group of players not wanted by anybody else, players who call themselves the “Golden Misfits,” skated a team who finished with the fifth most points, won the fourth most games, and scored the third most goals of any of the 31 teams in the league. And they are about to begin the fourth and final round of the Stanley Cup Tournament which this year will determine if misfits is synonymous with champion.

Moral of the story? Being picked last for dodge ball isn’t the end of the world. Don’t treat it like it is.

 

Telling Tales

Michael Leave a comment

My daughter was over for lunch yesterday. After our meal we sat out on the patio enjoying the air’s in-between storms sweetness. While we discussing the differences between curly and straight leafed parsley she brought up traits children inherit that they don’t notice until they’ve put a few years on their adulthood and that reminded me that UPS avoids left turns in their delivery routes.

Well it made perfect sense to us! That’s because of the trait she got from me. Babbling (her word). Or rambling (my word). Or perhaps story telling (the polite words I should have led off with). (Maybe)

Apparently it came up last week when she was out with a couple of her girlfriends and their conversation move to the things they do they don’t realize they do that nobody but their families understand. Mostly only their families understand. Most of their families only understand. Some of their families understand. Their families might recognize but even most of them don’t necessarily understand.

It you think about it, there is probably at least one thing you do that nobody else in the world (or at least is not common behavior in your part of the world) that you can trace to you parents or an older sibling or that great aunt who came over every Sunday for chicken and spaghetti and then stayed to watch Gomer Pyle then the Ed Sullivan Show. It might be the way you tilt your head at a weird angle when contemplating answers to a particularly difficult question.  It might be how you fold a napkin under the plate at dinner’s end. Or it could be in how you ramble.

Actually, it’s not rambling as much as always providing the back story. And its back story if necessary. After all, every story has a story and a good story teller knows the story’s story as clearly as the story. It’s what makes for storied stories. In my daughter’s case, as a copywriter and content editor, being able to tell a story is essential although she often has to temper her desire to be as thorough as she’d like. But when it comes to her personal writing, no story takes a back seat to its own story. Or back story. Even.

For me, I was often reminded to get to the point more quickly at meetings or in email exchanges but just as often I was glad I kept the thoroughness in my correspondence knowing that while others were getting calls and memos asking for more detail, my projects were being presented for approval and reports stamped “OK.” Still, I have a hard time with text messages and even Twitter’s new expanded character limit is far less than appropriate for any meaningful communication.

So, you know UPS designs its routes with as few left turns as possible. Apparently it means a tremendous savings in fuel costs. That came up the last time my daughter was over and we has just finished a killer frittata for brunch.

It made perfect sense to us.

 

Come Here Often?

Michael 3 Comments

I had a most unusual dream last night. I met a female hockey referee after a concert and we went out for the “best cup of coffee we ever had.” I was certain I would not have ever picked up a random person at a concert but since she was a hockey referee I knew she had to be a good person. I’m not sure why she was wearing her black and white stripe shirt with the red arm band but fortunately she was so I knew what I was getting into.

In my half-awake state I tried analyzing this one of so very few dreams I ever remembered. I couldn’t make any sense of it so instead I started wondering how people meet others today. Television commercials and on-line pop-up ads and promoted posts would have you believe dating services are the way to go.

Of course dating services are not new ideas. They’ve been around for most of my entire life and we all know that’s a lot of years. Match is probably the most recognized on-line service but it goes back to only 1995. Date Mate might be the earliest recognized computer assisted service but it dates to just 1965. You have to go into the 50s, 1959 actually, to find the first documented dating service when the Happy Families Planning Service matched 59 men and 59 women in a Stanford University class project.

So how did the ancients (you know, those who matched up before Sputnik) find their mates? Even some of us who connected in the age of enlightenment (or during the cold war depending on how you want to remember time) managed to do so without handing over 3 bucks to find the perfect mate. How did we ever do that?

Dating

(All Things Clipart)

That gave me the idea to post a survey asking how you connected with your spouse, significant other, life partner, person of interest, paramour, special friend, companion, steady, beau, boo, or better half. But…I don’t know how to add a survey to a post and I really don’t feel like looking it up. And a survey only lets you answer once. You might have had more than one one-and-only over your lifetime. Who am I to deny you the opportunity to remember fondly all your initial hearts aflutter moments? And no matter how many choices I could come up with I’d certainly miss something and be forced to include the dreaded “other” catchall.

So I invite you to tell me what service led you to your match. The ways I thought of might include:

  • One of the aforementioned dating services either modern online or classic computer assisted
  • A personal professional matchmaker ala Dolly Levi
  • A personal amateur matchmaker ala parents, siblings, or exceptionally nebby friends, relatives, or coworkers
  • A specific matchmaking activity ala speed dating, singles’ dance, or similar
  • Social media typically not affiliated with matchmaking (Twitter following, Facebook groups, old timey chat rooms)
  • At school (any level, from nursery school to community college adult education classes)
  • At work (while not impeding your ability to provide superior customer service, of course)
  • At church, hopefully not during actual services but perhaps after or at a social affair or sponsored activity
  • At a bar, tavern, pub, party, or other alcohol fueled social gathering
  • At a non-alcohol fueled social activity (there must be something that qualifies)
  • On vacation (That could be a non-alcoholic fueled social activity depending on your definition of holiday.)
  • At a sporting or athletic event including that Wednesday morning Tai Chi class
  • Some random meeting (I met who would become a close companion and still great friend standing in line at an ATM machine.)
  • In the produce section at the local grocery store (It’s happened in books, movies, and television shows so it must have happened sometime in real life, no?)
  • And the infamous “other”

 

How did you meet, or would like to meet, or are trying to meet your companion for all your days or a significant portion thereof? Feel free to comment away!

 

It Doesn’t Add Up

Michael 3 Comments

I’ve been noticing a disturbing trend here and I think it explains why stores are in trouble. It has nothing to do with on-line shopping or discount warehouse stores. It has to do with store managers who are stupid.

I was in our local grocery store comparing the prices of the admittedly overpriced pod coffee selections. Single people who live alone and drink one cup of coffee a day understand their attraction. I noticed the sale tags (yippee!) then I noticed the need for improved math skills. Same brand, same flavor, different size packaging. The 12 count box, regularly 8.99, was on sale for 5.99. The 36 count box, regularly 24.99, was on sale for 18.99. I’ll wait. (Lah de dah, do dee dee, dum, hum, hum) Yeah! That’s what I said! I even mentioned it to the guy reaching for the box of 36. “Oh, I go through a lot of them,” and he grabbed two of the larger boxes adding, “Great price.”

Different day, different store, different item. Actually this was in a well-known major retailer whose name I’ll not mention but it ends in mart. I happened to be in need of some maintenance items for my outdoor gas grill including the little heat tent thingies that go over the gas tubes. Three of those little thingies actually. I found them on the shelf at 5.49 each. Right next to them was the “Economy Two Pack” (buy in bulk and save!) for 12.49. Once again I noticed an in store sucker … er, shopper … grabbing, once again, not just one but two of the two packs.

SaleSignLater that same day I was at the nursery (the plant kind, not the baby kind), picking out some herbs for my patio garden. Fortunately I only needed 4, or at most 6 plants. Why is that fortunate? Because they were on sale! What were regular price pots of 3.28 each were on sale for “$2.87 each, $24/tray of 8.” Of course someone had three trays in his cart. I hope he was planning on asking them being rung up separately.

Maybe I spoke too harshly of the store managers. They probably really are quite adept at math. It’s the consumer who needs the arithmetic refresher course. I think I might set one up. A friend of mine says I’d make a good tutor and I always can use a little extra spending money. I’ll charge a very reasonable $19.99 per lesson. Or 4 for 100 bucks!

Who says you have to be a big retailer to get in on Special Pricing?

 

Frozen in Time. Or Space. Or Neither?

Michael 3 Comments

I should be celebrating still. Last week was my birthday. A dozen years ago I’d still be celebrating a week later. No, that’s not accurate. “Still” makes it sound like I spent an entire week in revelry. Well, I was younger then. At least by 12 years. That would have made me 50 which contrary to the teachings of 30 and 40 year olds, is the age when one is truly still young enough to get into trouble but old enough to know better but not quite yet to not care. But no, not even those dozen years ago was I inclined to spend a full week in celebration of aging. So “still” is still not right. No. I should have said my birthday was last week and a dozen years ago I’d be celebrating it again.

“Still” might seem to make more sense than “again” but trust me, “again” is right. Of course, I’d be happy to explain.

A dozen years ago we’d have taken pictures. A week ago we also took pictures. A week ago, among the 20 or 4,000 pictures taken, I saw 4. Then, of the 12 or 15 taken I would have seen 12 or 15. But not for a week. A dozen years ago we were still taking pictures with analog cameras and film that required developing know how (or at least the corner drugstore).

Here’s what usually happened.  Regardless of whose birthday or anniversary or whatever and the actual date of aforementioned whatever, the celebration happened on Sunday. People worked during the week. (Actually I worked on Sundays also but that never seemed to alter the pattern.) (Hmm.) Pictures were taken, cake was cut, more pictures, gifts, more cake, more pictures, cake, pictures, wine, cake, pictures, etc., more pictures, wine, pictures. Film was rewound, removed from camera, and placed in prominent position to be dropped off for developing Monday morning. Monday film was forgotten due to Monday morning rush to get out the door. Tuesday film was forgotten due to it being Tuesday. Wednesday film forgotten due to everyone making bad camel jokes on the way out the door. Thursday film was remembered and taken to be developed! Decision making now entered the process. One hour, overnight, or standard. Couldn’t hang around for an hour and since we waited this long, what’s another day. Overnight please. Friday, now developed pictures forgotten due to TGIF. Saturday … ugh! Sunday, special trip made to pick up pictures, everybody gathers around, pictures passed about, celebration renewed!

More importantly, afterwards, sometimes weeks or months afterwards but eventually afterwards, the pictures were transferred to a photo album and placed on book shelf for future re-celebrations.

Last week, pictures were taken, phones passed around after any particularly good ones (four) then never seen again. [Sigh] But if you’re interested, you are welcome to come over and see pictures from my fiftieth. I know just where they are.

BD40Actually, this is from my fortieth. Seems I can’t find those from ten years later. I think we were using digital by then!

 

Cramming for Finals

Michael 9 Comments

I have a test next week. I haven’t taken a test for years and frankly I’m a little concerned. I have just over a week to study up as much as I can for my stress test next Friday.

Yes, you read that right. A stress test. Go ahead and laugh. Here, I’ll even help. A guy asks his friend’s wife where he is. “At the bar. Studying.” “Studying? What kind of test can you study for at the bar?” “His urine test of course.” Ha. Ha.

But this is different. I think I really do have to study for this stress test. Stay with me for a while. There are two basic types of stress tests. One is an EKG/exercise test and one is a exercise/rest/perfusion test. The common factor between the two is the exercise part. Walk on a treadmill until your heart rate is elevated to some specific level or you fall over, whichever comes first. Maybe it’s not put quite so cavalierly by those administering them but that’s basically how the stress is induced during stress tests.

I’m not worried about getting my heart rate up. I know I can walk far enough to get my heart pumping. I’ve been walking again these past few days now that it is nice again here in the until recently frozen northeast. But the problem is I’ve only done that recently and only outside. I might be a bit out of shape from not taking advantage of the treadmills in the exercise room but that doesn’t concern me either. No, what has me wondering about how I’m going to do with this test is that darn treadmill.

Treadmill

Image: Freepik

I can’t work treadmills. That’s why I hadn’t taken advantage of them during the cold weather months. I can’t walk on them. How, you ask, does one say he can’t walk on a treadmill? Because I fall over. I walk with a cane. The reasons don’t really matter but what happens if I don’t is that I tend to tip over. Really. I also wobble and waver. Walking in a straight line is not one of my talents. And yes, I was once stopped at a random sobriety checkpoint, and no, the nice officer didn’t understand that either so don’t feel bad if it’s not making sense to you. On a treadmill I won’t have my cane so I’ll have to hold on to the rails and when I do that I can’t swing my arms and when I do that I lose my balance and when I do that I fall over. (The only person I ever knew who actually fell over during a stress test was a friend of mine who ended up being prepped for coronary bypass surgery minutes after hitting the floor.) (His problem had nothing to do with not being able to work a treadmill. He just had a bad heart.) (True story.)

So, that’s why I think I should study and put a few miles on my sneakers on a treadmill. So I don’t fall over. I’m not worried they might mistake me for one needing emergency open heart surgery. I’m worried they might say they can’t get any useful information out of my test and either a) chemically induce the stress (not pleasant), or b) give up (not an option). Since this is part of my ongoing kidney transplant evaluation you see why Option b) is not an option but Option a) is still not on my “things I’d love to be doing instead of falling over” list.

This is one test I really cannot afford to fail. But I’d be just fine with a C. So I’m thinking I have to study.

 

Sunshine Blogger Award

Michael 13 Comments

I am honored. Or I have been honored. (You know, one of those sounds slightly boastful while the other sounds very appreciative. Shouldn’t they be the same?) I found out last week that Peg from The Tempest and the Teapot picked this little blog as worthy of the Sunshine Blogger Award! 《Applause, applause.》 Thank you Peg! 《More applause.》

SunshineBlogger

“Holy crap!”  you say, exclaim even, “a whole week it takes acknowledge this?” Or maybe you don’t. No but if you do, I have an excuse. There are rules to follow and they actually involved work,. And a slide rule but we’ll get to that later. A while again, Ask a Gimp nominated me for the Blogger Recognition Award. Now that was easy. Say thank you, recognize some other bloggers. This one…well, just look.

Here are the rules for being nominated…

  • Thank the blogger that nominated you in the post and link back to their blog (Easy and done.)
  • Answer the 11 questions the blogger asked you (Equally easy although I was specifically directed not to use a slide rule which made #4 almost unanswerable.)
  • Nominate 8-11 new blogs to receive the award and write them 11 new questions (Eleven questions! I taught Masters level courses at a pretty big Eastern university and I almost never asked eleven questions at one time. Even finals were mostly a bunch of questions I previously asked so I don’t know I had to think up 11 questions at one time then. Anyway, that took forever (and then a little longer).)
  • List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award Logo on your post and/or in your blog (Also easy but I’ll have to retype the rules since I now have defaced them.)

So, to make a short story unnecessarily long here are Peg’s questions of her nominees and my answers. Stayed tuned for my nominees and my (more reasonable) questions of them.

  1. Make me the yummiest sammich to ever grace a plate.
    Concentrate and follow this closely. Two pieces of thick sliced Italian bread, preferably homemade but a good bakery bought loaf will do. A quarter pound thinly sliced capicola just warmed in a dry skillet with two slices sharp provolone allowed to melt on top. Move this onto one sliced of bread and top with a good amount (maybe a quarter cup) of vinegar based, fairly dry cole slaw and heaping handful of hot freshly made french fries (which are actually a Belgian creation but you knew that) and a couple slices of tomato. Slice in half, eat greedily with a kitchen towel tucked in your collar and another on your lap. It doesn’t matter what you drink with it because you won’t have a free hand because you’d be putting it down, but I like a frosty bottle of Peroni.
    20160601_165010
  2. Do you like your handwriting?
    Absolutely. It demonstrates a flair not seen since cursive was outlawed in the US.
  3. After that glorious morning pee, what’s the first thing you do?
    Pray, meditate, and take my blood pressure.
  4. If you have 20 apples and some bully comes along and bruises half of them in New York, how long does it take the train travelling to Albuquerque to make a savory picnic pie from the remains?
    This would be easier if I was allowed to use my slide rule but just figuring it out in my head I say “not long.”
  5. Tell me what’s in your iPod/MP3 player playlist, or the CD in your car stereo right now?
    Jazz on all of them. David Benoit on most although I think one of the CD players has Keb’ Mo’ right now and yes, I know he’s not really jazz but it’s my playlist and I’ll make him whatever it takes to fit.
  6. Keeping with the music theme…shuffle or straight through albums?
    Shuffle? That’s just anarchy!
  7. How soon after the advance ticket sales did you buy your seats for the opening night of Avengers: Infinity Wars?
    By Avengers of course you mean the TV show starring Patrick Macnee and Diana Rigg. I didn’t realize those two had a new movie out. Now the last time I purchased any movie ticket via advance sales, it was a week before the cinematic re-release of Singing in the Rain. Those guys were real superheroes!
  8. Have you watched all the other Marvel Universe movies in preparation for this event?
    The only marvelous movies from this universe that I have watched are the complete collections of Bond, James Bond and Men in Black, and everything staring Audrey Hepburn.
    Audrey
  9. Why won’t WordPress let me skip a number in this numbered list?
    It’s been illegal since 1999.
  10. Boxers or briefs (or other, I totally won’t judge!)?
    The great American compromise, boxer-briefs.
  11. What’s the first thing you notice about people?
    Their eyes, even in pictures. And yes, I have a personally difficult time if I meet somebody for the first time and they are wearing sunglasses.
  12. What makes you unique?
    Because I’m me!

So, you now know almost no more about me than before you started reading this tome in disguise. Now we come to my nominees and the (more reasonable) eleven questions waiting their answers. Coming up with 8 to 11 blogs is kind of challenging. I like many more than 8 to 11 blogs but I can’t say they all bring sunshine to my day when I read them. Doesn’t mean I don’t like them. Some blogs just aren’t the sunshine-y type. Thought provoking. Informative. Eye opening. Educational. Witty. Humorous. A blog can be any of these and not bring me a healthy dose of artificial sunshine. To me, sunshine is a warm feeling all the way through and a big smile reflecting my new-felt warmth. These are the ones that make me feel happy that I took the time to read them. And if you don’t think that answering eleven (wow!) questions is your idea of fun, fits with your blog, or brings you unimaginable, deep down warmth, I’m ok with that. I still like you and you still bring me sunshine.

With that, my nominees are:

Now, to remind you of the rules:

  • Thank the blogger that nominated you in the post and link back to their blog.
  • Answer the 11 questions the blogger asked you.
  • Nominate 8-11 new blogs to receive the award and write them 11 new questions.
  • List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award Logo on your post and/or in your blog.

And my questions are:

  1. What is your worst bad habit or secret vice (either)?
  2. Do you have a fire extinguisher in your home?
  3. Does your go to ID picture really look like how you describe yourself?
  4. What color is your favorite underwear?
  5. Are you an Oscar or a Felix?
  6. Did you understand the above reference or did you have to do research?
  7. Does 11 questions seem excessive to anybody else?
  8. What’s the most embarrassing thing in your refrigerator?
  9. Quilted, two ply, or should I bring my own? (Yes, I will judge.)
  10. When did you last mail a handwritten personal card or letter?
  11. If you couldn’t live where you live now, what different country would you pick based on beauty, culture, what you know, what you hear from other people, or read in books, and price is no object to getting there but you can’t consider travel blogs or magazines, Instagram posts, or current political climate?

Whew! Ok, I’ve written enough. Blame Peg for that.

 

Say Cheese

Michael 12 Comments

I had my picture taken yesterday. I know, most people on the Internet seem to have a complete photo diary of their whole existence. I grew up with a Kodak Brownie. We took pictures only if necessary. Like on a vacation. In a different state.

The picture I he had taken yesterday was even more monumental than an out of state vacation. It was for my driver’s license. And it was about time too. The last time I updated my driver’s license was 4 years, 3 operations, and 100 pounds ago. I bore as much resemblance to my ID as …. let’s just say it wasn’t actually representative. In fact, the one time I actually needed a photo ID that anybody paid particular attention to, the nice TSA agent kept looking from it to me to it to me to it. Fortunately I had that renewed my passport two years ago which was after the 3 surgeries and 100 pounds. More fortunately I decided to bring it along with me even though I wasn’t traveling outside the country. Most fortunately that particular TSA agent was perusing my travel documents on the return portion of that trip and I really didn’t want to spend another night in New Orleans.

I figured something out on my way to the photo center. I was going for my eleventh renewal. Here ours renew every 4 years. That’s a lot of driving. And based on heads and shoulders at least, a pretty nifty photographic record of changing hair styles. Or it would be if they were on all my licenses. We only started using pictures on our licenses here in 1976 so my first couple documents were just black type on color coded card stock. Now it just so happened those license periods also coincided with my under 21 years.

DLIDs without photos are hardly identifying yet that was the standard in the dark ages of paper licenses. Of course that eliminated an entire cottage industry since it meant there was no need for a fake ID business. All you had to do was find an older somebody who wasn’t going out the same night as you who reasonably matched your basic info … height, eye and hair color, and sex. Sex is important. Having an older sister is of no benefit when you’re a younger brother.

But that won’t do today. Now there are pictures on licenses. And bar codes and holograms and for some reason a second picture. I guess that makes up for all the years there were none.

I figured I’m good for a while now. I have 4 new years on my driver’s license, 8 more years on my last password renewal, and no job and no school to go to that might require a photo ID card.

I don’t have to worry about a good hair day until 2022!