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Acquaintancegiving
Sing along with me… It’s the most confusing time of the year!
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The week before Thanksgiving – ugh. (Non-American residents please hang in there, next week we’ll be back to more universal topics.) This week the food related sites and emails are torn between last minute meal prep tips, what to do with leftover turkey tips, and Christmas cookie freezing tips. Home decor posts are split between the Thanksgiving tablescape to die for and how to make this year’s Christmas wreath out of empty aluminum soft drink cans (the new skinny 8oz. models). And editorial writers aren’t sure if they should sharpen their quills for the annual “1001 Things to Be Thankful For” column or “It’s Time to Apologize to Displaced Native Americans” missive. The only ones who seem to have a handle on the week are the merchants who will be switching headers on the sales catalogs from “Black Friday Sale!” to “Holiday Sale Spectacular!!!” (Same ad, just a different name.)
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A new confusion, one even I missed the early signs of, are what we call this upcoming holiday. Although there had been “Days of Thanksgiving” in what would become these United States since the early 1600s, it was by a proclamation by Abraham Lincoln in 1863 that the holiday we celebrate today was established. For years thereafter the President would proclaim one of the last Thursdays in November to be a “Day of Thanksgiving.” In 1941, Congress finally got around to formalizing the holiday with a resolution permanently stamping the fourth Thursday in November on future calendars as Thanksgiving Day.
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And so it was for going on 80 years that about this time each year, people would greet one another with a jaunty “Happy Thanksgiving!” Sometime in my life, which admittedly spans more than 3/4 of those 80 years but a far smaller portion of the 300+ years since the Pilgrims made up the silent majority, people began to augment Happy Thanksgiving with phrases like Happy Turkey Day or Good Harvesting. Then in 2007 Friendsgiving reared its ugly head.
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“Thanksgiving is for families,” the argument went. “I want to celebrate my gratitude for my closest friends with my friends.” Sometimes people would actually verbalize that they liked their friends better than their families anyway. Now I am not against friends and friendship nor do I feel friends should be excluded from our celebrations, our gratitude, or our celebrations of our gratitude. In my world when we wanted to celebrate Thanksgiving with our friends we invited those friends to Thanksgiving dinner. The house was more crowded, table was a lot fuller, and not all the plates matched but we all squeezed in, gave our thanks, and proceeded to devour many pounds of food apiece. A couple of years we even tried a buffet style dinner and one particularly warm year we extended the festivities onto the back yard deck. What was important was that we all shared the wish for family and friends with the same expression of gratitude.
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By a totally unscientific review, this year that great marker of contemporary social acceptance, the Television Sitcom Holiday Special, featured more Friendsgiving celebrations than family Thanksgiving meals. I know next month the airways will be full of “Happy Holidays!” taking the place of yesteryear’s “Merry Christmas” and I’ve learned to accept that. I suffer through the growing number of Indigenous Persons Day recognitions where Columbus Day used to be and I am willing to concede Presidents Day actually exists even without ever having been recognized by any governing body outside of Madison Avenue. Valentine’s Day is for more than lovers and St. Patrick’s Day really is a test of who can drink the most green beer in a single seating. Can’t we leave just one holiday alone?
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If you’ll excuse me now, I have to make room in the refrigerator for some turkey hash, sweet potato pancakes, and green bean casserole soup. I want to be able to properly give thanks well into next week too!
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Happy Thanksgiving!
Yet Another End to Yet Another Era
Overly dramatic is just about the norm today. Television newscasts no longer report the latest news, it’s now “Breaking News!” even a followup from something that happened 4 days ago. Weather is no longer weather, it’s “Severe Weather!” even on sunny days (UV you know) and every storm gets a name. Every year, sometimes every month, brings a new “[Fill In the Blank] of the Century!” Movies are spectaculars, books are blockbusters, and when Hollywood speaks, everybody listens. So the end of an era is pretty much ho-hum. The retail world experienced an end of an era this week and believe me, this will not go unnoticed.
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Philadelphia based Five Below operates over 850 stores in 34 states carrying an odd assortment of electronics, toys, games, gadgets, t- shirts, and novelty items loosely targeted to teens but shopped by all generations. In an early corporate press release they called themselves the “Five and Dime for the iPod Generation.” The five here though was not the nickel F. W. Woolworth was after. It’s the paper five featuring Honest Abe’s countenance. The common thread holding their disparate inventory together was the price point – everything retailed at $5 or less.
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Monday November 18 all that changed when in a statement the company acknowledged they’ve been pricing items up to $10! Certain tech gadgets they’ve increased prices on are now featured in a separate section called “Ten Below Tech” and everything else ranging in price from $5 to $10 had been lumped into the “Ten Below Gift Shop.” It doesn’t seem like much. Surely there would come a day when suppliers who keep raising wholesale prices outpaced Five Below’s defining pricing philosophy, although Dollar Tree still manages to cap their inventor’s price point at a buck a piece. But here’s the thing, the name isn’t changing. It’s still Five Below. Hmmm. It’s bad enough when certain so-called dollar stores claim to be “dollar stores” because all their products retail for at least a dollar but I always thought Five Below was above that sort of consumer manipulation.
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Dollar stores, true dollar stores or their first cousins the 99 cent stores, would never let you down like that. I remember once being in a dollar store, turning the corner and finding an end cap filled with mini-blinds. You know, those things that cover your windows and might sell from $6 to “woah that’s a lot!” in your typical home improvement store. I don’t know what got into me but I stopped a passing store employee and ask how much they were. “What’s the sign say outside?” came the answer. “If the sign says everything’s a dollar then everything’s a dollar.” Who can argue with that kind of logic. I picked out 4, brought them to the check out register, paid with one crisp (or maybe worn, that was a while ago) $5 bill, and got change back. Now that’s the way to run a business. .
I suppose I’ll still stop at the local Five Below whenever I pass by to see what new things are on their shelves. I just have to remind myself not to expect much change back anymore.
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You’re Doing It Wrong
“You’re doing it wrong” is no longer a just a great line from the underrated 1983 John Hughes scripted film Mr. Mom. It has become the tagline of some 5 bazillion e-zine “articles” and YouTube videos. You know the ones: You’re using your oven drawer wrong. You’re storing you’re spices wrong. You’re cooking your eggs wrong. These “experts” have zeroed in on kitchen activities but then food is a fairly universal topic. And to be fair, I have seen s handful of articles telling me about what other things that I am screwing up in my life. You’re washing your car wrong. You’re wearing your seatbelts wrong. You’re cutting your grass wrong. You can find contradictory “expert” opinion on how to best accomplish just about anything. But that I add milk to my eggs before dumping them into a pan because I like my scrambled eggs creamy instead of fluffy is not wrong, just different. Nor is it wrong that someone else prefers water over cream although they are more likely pandering to the YouTube crowd rather than the “that’s a darn good tasting breakfast” crowd. (Please no nasty comments. The world is divided enough.)
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Most activities have multiple means to reach their ends and how you get there is your choice depending on how you prefer to make the trip. None of these articles is wrong on how they present a way to do something. If that were so I’d have titled this “You’re Writing Those ‘You’re Doing It Wrong’ Articles Wrong.” If you are of a like mind with the person who wants to use water in scrambled eggs go right ahead. I’ll still splash some cow juice in mine and not feel at all slighted. But there is one expert process I can’t say presents a viable alternative to how I’ve been doing it for years. That is washing dishes.
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If you are of an a certain age, one that I passed an age ago, you’ll recall the days when there was but one way to wash dishes. Fill a basin with soap and water, grab a dish cloth, and commence wiping. There might once have been an alternate method but mothers put their collective feet down when they noticed the young’uns headed for the stream to pound the dishes against the rocks while doing the table linens in an early effort to multitask. Otherwise it was soap, water, and elbow grease and not terribly much of the third until you got to the pots and pans.
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I saw the headline, “You’ve been washing your dishes wrong,” and the teaser, “Read this before you wash another dish by hand.” Being the well trained lackey who still routinely washes dishes by hand of course I did just that and read this (er, that) before I did another. What I read changed the way I think about hand washing forever. It won’t change how I do it but I’ll think about it now each time I plunge a scrunge into soapy water.
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Apparently the faux pas is not of the order. It’s still glassware, table ware, serving utensils, eating vessels (plates etc.), cooking utensils, cooking vessels. (Whew!) Nor was it a definitive decision regarding the always controversial “bath v shower” methods of water used. (Double whew!) It was not even if you are better served with grease fighting detergents or scouring pads. No, the way those of us who are still washing our dishes by hand are washing our dishes wrong is that we are still washing our dishes by hand. (Read it a couple of times. It’s a legitimate sentence, really.) (I think.)
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The “experts” claim to properly sanitize dishware the wash temperature must be a minimum of 140°F (60°C). Actually that’s not right. “Sanitizing” or the eradication of common kitchen pathogens doesn’t happen until 175°. That’s why modern dishwasher rinse cycles are set to heat the water internally to 180°. Anything less is just “cleaning.” However there are some pathogens killed at 140° so that temperature could be partial sterilization. Most domestic water heaters are capable of heating water to 140°. Why isn’t this good enough for hand washing and get at least part off them sanitized?.
Just how hot is 140° anyway? If you’ve even been in a hot tub or sauna you’ve been in 100° water. (I used to keep mine set to 101° but that was because I liked the way the digital readout looked.) That morning hot shower is around 105°F. An electric blanket maxes out at 115° and a heating pad typically eases your sore muscles with 130-135° heat. Temperatures higher than that aren’t so well tolerated. That 140° we want to wash out dishes in will burn your skin in seconds. Third degree burn. In single digit seconds. Six seconds to be accurate. That is why even though water heaters can heat water to 140° they shouldn’t. The recommend maximum temperature for domestic hot water is 120°F (49°C). At 120° you would suffer those burns after exposing your skin for 5 minutes. (Don’t think you can split the difference and set that heater for 130°. Third degree burns will happen at 30 seconds of continuous exposure to 130° water.
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That would seem to validate the claim that handwashing is a somewhat futile exercise. Or is it? If you’re goal is complete sanitizing before you set those plates back on the table at the next meal it is indeed futile although no more futile washing in 140° water. And is there really such a thing as more or less futile? Futile is futile, right.
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On the other hand, if you are happy with just for clean like we were so many ages ago, go ahead and use the sink. Trust me. You won’t be doing it wrong.
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Who’s Calling Please
Happy Veterans Day. I would have come on sooner with that but there is no death of greetings for veterans in early November. Everybody wants to thank somebody for his or her service. Personally as a veteran myself I’d rather we also be remembered in February or June or whenever I’m struggling across the supermarket parking lot with a cartful than everybody figuring they’ve done their duty for those who did their duty by offering an extra 11% off (with valid ID) on the second Monday of November.
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What I really want to write about today is a new twist on an old scam that is making its way around the globe thanks to our reluctance as a society you to reconsider using real money now and then. But before we get to that I want to mention two other things I read in the past week that tie these pieces together like a granny knot that’s been caught in the rain over a 3 day weekend.
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In a recent “letter to the editor” in a national magazine in response to an article on phone scams, the writer seemed quite proud that he never answers his phone without knowing who is on the other end. If it’s important they’ll leave a message. On land line phones this is aided by the use of real Caller ID assuming the caller and the ID actually match (stay tuned). Anybody with a cell phone, which is just about the same as saying everybody in the the known world and probably most of the unknown other worlds know there is no such thing as real Caller ID on a cell phone. Rather we only “know” who is calling if the caller is in our personal contacts list. Why on a system where you can send text and data, transfer money, and even make video calls can no one figure out how to identify who is on the other end of that signal? Well for whatever reason, the writer does not answer a call unless he can identify the caller and encourages everybody else to do the same.
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In another issue of that same magazine there appeared an article on how to avoid fraudulent phone calls. It was actually subtitled “How to detect and defeat the latest phone fraud.” In my opinion that was a little fraudulent. The article explained how with currently available low priced and even free apps anybody can alter their phone number to make it appear to the reciever as any number the caller chooses, even the receiver’s number. This is called “spoofing.” Their recommendation for “defeating” this fraudulent practice is to assume no number you see on your screen is the actual number of the caller. I’m not sure who just got defeated but yeah, sure, that will show them a thing or two!
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Now, let’s put those two thoughts together. The user says to not answer any call from any number you don’t recognize. If it is important they will leave a message. The expert says to assume every call is from an unidentified source and a potential scam, even if you recognize the number. Ergo, nobody answer any call! Instead, check your voicemail each time the phone rings. If it was important, there will be a message. If it is a voice you recognize and can identify, you can call him or her back but knowing that person will likewise screen all calls, expect to leave a message which may or may not be listened to. It is very possible this can instigate a world record attempt at the longest game of phone tag but nobody will ever know because nobody will take the call from the Guiness people because nobody knows their number nor for sure if they are them.
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So where was all this going? Oh yes, the new scam. But first, a question. Do you have a Zelle account? A more pertinent question, do you know if you have a Zelle account? Zelle is a money transfer system used by almost every bank in the U.S. Interestingly, if you have installed your bank’s mobile app on your phone you almost certainly have a Zelle account whether or not you know it or want it. It’s just waiting to be activated. And there is the next biggest scam we’ll not hear about until some Senator’s son is duped into losing his allowance..
The scammer using an already available low priced or even free app calls you after having spoofed your bank’s phone number. You answer because you recognize that number and you are told it is the bank fraud department calling because they noticed unusual activity on your account. Don’t, they say, give them your account login or password, just confirm if these were your charges and rattle off a couple obvious non-purchases. Of course they aren’t yours and you say so. Good, they say, they can take care of this. You are told to open the bank app, again reminded to not give them your login or password. Once you have the app open they will text you a verification code to enter on the login page. At that point they begin to change your user ID and password, open the Zelle account and transfer your balance to a disposable phone which is then discarded as soon as they re-transfer your money to their account. Because you entered the code on your own device, the bank does not act on it as being potential fraud. They will email or text you a notice that your user ID and/or password had been changed. You may not even get that notice if the scammers took the extra time to change your contact information. Even if they did not, Zelle transfers happen so quickly, by the time you would contact your back to inform them that you did not change your user ID and/or password it will be too late.
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Moral of the story. Check your accounts and even if you never asked for it, see if you were enrolled in Zelle, and anything else, “automatically for your convenience.” If you are planning to use it, set it up yourself then lock it. If you aren’t going to be using it, ask if it can be removed from your service package or at least locked from being activated.
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And maybe make a note of the Guiness record people’s phone number and start screening your calls. Just in case.
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Orange is the New Gold
Sunday November 3 was the coldest Sunday since spring had sprung some 7 months earlier. And what was I getting ready for at 6:30 that morning? I was going for a walk, a Kidney Walk at of all places, the Pittsburgh Zoo.
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This particular Sunday stroll was in support of the National Kidney Foundation, and organization in support of kidney disease education, treatment, and support. Like so many other disease focused organizations, money raised by the NKF goes to research for treatment and to find a cure for kidney disease. But it also provides direct assistance to those suffering the disease right now by assisting patients, families, and caregivers through resources including health checks and screenings, drug discount programs, and peer support made possible by fundraising activities.
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Since I had begun chronic dialysis 3 years ago I recieved helped from the National Kidney Foundation but was never able to show my support for the organization. For the first time since my diagnosis my entire immediate family was able to register for the walk. The Kidney Walk does not carry an “entrance fee” nor a “suggested donation.” Your entry fee is your willingness to show support. Your donation is what you want to give or can raise from friends and family to support your personal cause. This year 2300 Pittsburgh walkers raised over $255,000 for those causes and I’m happy to report that my family was responsible for one of those thousands. Walkers included kidney transplant recipients, kidney donors, dialysis patients, care providers, and those many friends and family members on foot, in wheelchairs and strollers, with the help of canes and walkers, and even physically carried by others.
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Unlike many others walking I was diagnosed without any of the classic risk factors or warning signs. The major risk factors for kidney disease are high blood pressure and diabetes; family history and obesity are also major contributors to that risk. Some of the common early warning signs include nausea and vomiting, irregular heartbeats, pain in the lower back, and shortness of breath. I had and still have none of those. My kidney disease is caused by complications from an autoimmune disease and was revealed through routine lab studies at regular checkups. Like many walkers I doubted I would ever find myself relying on dialysis for life or undergoing a kidney transplant. And most unfortunately like many other walkers I found myself both of those. Most fortunately though, my disease was discovered and I was able to join in the walk.
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Orange was the color of the day at the zoo. Although kidney disease awareness is typically represented by a green ribbon, the National Kidney Foundation has adopted orange and black as the organization colors. Orange shirts, hoodies, caps, backpacks, and even baby strollers marched on a three mile trek among the animals at the Pittsburgh Zoo to bring awareness to chronic kidney disease, a disease that affects nearly 40 million American adults with another 200,000 diagnosed each year. Over 800,000 of those patient are in end stage renal failure requiring dialysis or a kidney transplant.
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To us it doesn’t matter what color was worn. The money raised is the gold at the end of the rainbow.
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A Mean Trick
Yesterday it took over local social media, legitimate news reports, even grocery store check out lines. Are they postponing Halloween? That’s right, postponing Halloween. We’ve screwed around, pushed around, and rewritten every other holiday, so why not this one. Why? It’s supposed to rain today. Not remnants from a hurricane which we’ve had on past Halloweens. Not a threat of a tornado which we’ve had on past Halloweens. Not a forecast for as much as a foot of snow which we’ve had on past Halloween. Rain. Just rain.
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Personally I think the cry for postponement of Halloween (I can’t believe I’m even writing those words) is because it’s Thursday. The requests for postponement (sheesh) are to Saturday when the weather is predicted to be clear but some 25 degrees colder than today with evening temperatures in the 30s rather than say Friday when it will be clear and then temperature closer to 50. If everyone is so concerned about giving the kids a more comfortable night top Trick ot Treat, Friday would be the way, or the day, to go.
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I think those people wanting a Halloween Rain Delay (sigh) aren’t looking forward to coming home from work to the kids already in costume, fidgeting around the dinner table, rushing through their own meal, and then having to drag themselves out in the rain instead of resting with the traditional after work adult beverage.
Without playing “Remember the Good Old Days” I remember Trick or Tearing in ponchos and rain boots or snow suits and galoshes more years than not. Even my not-yet-thirty year old daughter took the opportunity to take her turn on the Remember When Machine and remind me of the year she went out in pursuit of a bagful of candy through snow drifts taller than she was. (I remembered that year. 1993. She was 4 and dressed up like a clown before clowns were too scary to be for Halloween. I held her above most of that snow on her candy trek.).
Whoever led the charge got their way. Yesterday evening around 7 I recieved the automated call from our Chief of Police announcing Halloween (or more accurately Trick or Treating) had been rescheduled to Saturday.
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I think in a few weeks I might start a campaign to ask for the New Year holiday to be shifted to April when the threat of ice, snow, and sub-zero temperatures has passed. Probably not. New Year’s Eve on a Monday this year. We wouldn’t want to mess around with a four day weekend that didn’t take an act of Congress.
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Oh, in case your wondering, it reads raining earlier but right now it’s clear and sunny and 69°. I think I want an adult beverage now.
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Corn Sweet Corn
Darn that pumpkin spice craze. The real flavor darling of the season rightfully should be Candy Corn. You read that right – Candy Corn. Capitalized Candy Corn because it is something special.
Candy Corn is not only the perfect candy dish filler but it is also a perfect food and a superfood all in one. It’s a perfect food in that it contains the four basic food groups – water, sugar, corn syrup, and artificial colors and flavors. It’s a superfood because it is fat free, low calorie (compared to a bag of chocolate bars), and tastes better that kale. And Candy Corn has it’s own day that isn’t even Halloween orThanksgiving. Take that, kale!
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Candy Corn has been around for a long time, and contrary to some thinking, it isn’t the same corn every year you see in the stores. You would be confusing Candy Corn with fruit cake. Candy Corn first hit the confectioners’ shelves in the 1880s. It wasn’t until after World War II that it become really popular but like all things genius, Candy Corn took a while a catch on.
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As far as candy goes, Candy Corn is a healthy snack. Umm, healthier snack. Each serving, officially 15 pieces or one generous handful, is fat and cholesterol free, low sodium, and contains 22 grams of sugar and only 110 calories. Unlike real corn it is also fiber free so they’ll be no uncomfortable bloating if you should go wild and eat an entire bag in one sitting. Not unheard of, let me tell you!
Thirty-five millions pounds of Candy Corn are made each year. That’s nine billion (9,000,000,000) kernels. Give or take a few. Candy Corn sales will bring in $340 million this year! That’s not chicken feed, which incidentally was Candy Corn’s original name. Those numbers are just the commercial production. Candy Corn is easy to make at home with recipes abounding on the internet even from the likes of celebrity chef Alton Brown, no fancy molds required.
You still have a couple days to get ready for the biggest fall holiday, October 30, National Candy Corn Day! Whether you make your own or buy a bag, celebrate responsibly this year with Candy Corn!
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Seeing Isn’t Believing
It’s been a busy past couple of weeks. What days haven’t been spent at doctor appointments have been spent at dialysis, then last Friday I made an unplanned trip to the outpatient surgery unit to have my fistula opened. Something I’ve taken note of on all these trips is how the view has changed on the same roads since the beginning of this month.
Thanks to the miracle of arbochemistry, and my decision to take residence along the hills and mountains of Western Pennsylvania, I’ve been treated to the increasingly colorful forests that can be seen from almost any road between here and there in the area.
Of course you do know that those oranges and reds that we wait for each fall are always in the leaves. We can’t see them in July because there is so much chlorophyll in the leaves that only its green is visible. As the air cools and the light fades less chlorophyll is produced, the camouflage is lifted, and those vibrant fiery colors come out of hiding. Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean those colors weren’t there last month. Don’t believe me? Ask your favorite tree.
Leaves aren’t there only things that hide all their colors. Across America Election Day is fast approaching. “Off year elections” it’s called. Some states are fortunate enough to have Governor or state house and row office elections this year. In a couple weeks here in Pennsylvania, like many states, all we will have to vote for are county, school district, and municipal offices.
I haven’t seen one ad, recieved one post card, or heard one news story for any local office even though local government is the one that most closely touches people’s lives. But everywhere campaigning abounds. Just not for this year. There are all kinds of news about what’s coming up in a year and a couple weeks. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing though. As the campaign seasons change, support becomes cooler, and somebodies’ dreams fade, their veneer will be replaced by what was always there, just hidden from view by large quantities of camouflage. It could turn out to be quite fiery. How vibrant may be a different story.
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Just the Facts Ma’am
Welcome to Columbus Day 2019! The holiday everyone loves to hate!!! Personally I’m not thrilled with any holiday outside of Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, and the Fourth of July. All the others are just excuses for anybody who works for the government to get an extra day off.
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Columbus Day is also the holiday everyone loves to demonstrate their knowledge of “the facts.”
- Christopher Columbus didn’t discover America, Amerigo Vespucci discovered it, that’s why we call it America.
- Christopher Columbus didn’t discover America, Leif Erikson discovered it 500 years before either of those Europeans.
- Nobody discovered America, there were already people living here!
- Columbus was a criminal, slave trader, tyrant, and probably didn’t like dogs.
All sort of true (except maybe about the dogs) and all sort of not true, or at least inaccurate. If you’re looking for who actually first landed on the American mainland, whether North, South, or Central, that probably was John Cabot (surprise!) who landed in modern Canada in 1497. Columbus didn’t reach the South American mainland until his third voyage in 1499, and Vespucci landed in South America in 1500. Although the Vikings were known to have reached what is now Greenland as early as before 1100 their presence on mainland America has not been clearly documented before the 16th century. Columbus’s crimes are well-documented, but in 15th century Europe everybody who ran afoul of royalty would be accused and convicted of something, many of those some things quite routine for the rest of the populace.
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The “fact” most people seem to get the most mileage from is that Columbus could not have discovered America because there were already people living here. Again true, there were people living here, but then not true because that’s not what a discovery is. That would be like saying Neil Armstrong discovered the Moon because when he landed on it there were no people there. Of course the discovery of the Moon happened hundreds of thousands of years ago when the first eyes looked to the sky one night and saw a a big round, bright object. It isn’t whether people were here or not, it was a discovery for the Europeans because they did not know that this “it” was here. That discovery led to greatest period of trade and colonization that the world had seen yet or since..
But of all the facts, suppositions, non facts, and inaccuracies, the one of most importance today is this – you can stop wondering when the mail is going to come.
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The Real Reality Show Blog 