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Move Along Please

Michael Leave a comment

We’re starting to notice something in the stores that we’re patronizing.  There are crazy people out there.  Allow us to explain.

Just a few days ago we were in a grocery store.   Not one of the mega marts that has everything from fresh dragon fruit to Lint Lizards.  This was a much smaller version that had everything from soup to nuts as long as you didn’t mind the canned variety of either.  It’s not unusual in either version’s produce section for people to shake, sniff, thump, or rattle the offerings in search of the freshest of the fresh, or in mid-March to find the least out of season depending on the origin of the well-travelled fruit or vegetable.  And at the meat display one will check out the marbling of the well fatted full grown steer.

On our trip to that store on that day we were in search of ground beef.  Not much you can tell from ground beef that isn’t on the label – its pre-grinding primal cut, fat content, weight, price, and the date ground, hopefully matching the date to be purchased.  Yet there in front of the entire display of ground beef, shopping cart angled to extend across the complete linear footage was a lady carefully examining each package of ground beef.  Well, perhaps not each package but several of them, and each of them quite carefully, looking them over as if to determine that the fat content printed on the label wasn’t what her eyes were able to discern.  We wanted to say “Move along lady, it’s all from the same cow and whatever you’re making isn’t going to be that fabulous or you’d be up at the other end where the cows are a little more put together. “  But we didn’t and eventually she found one that had the color, size, shape, or fat content of her liking and we snagged ours.

It was on that same trip that He of We decided it was time to spend a couple of dollars on our retirement plan, also known as the Power Ball.  So he stopped at the window where some young man was robotically entering the numbers of the daily number players into the state lottery computer and exchanging “Sure Thing” dollars for “Can’t Miss” numbers.  The line moved quickly, most of the hopefuls hanging their hopes on the quick pick versions of their numbers du jour.  And then there was just one in front of He of We.  And that one began with “Gimme Big Four, 1-2-3-4, fifty cents straight, 40 times,” and the young man punch the number in once, hit the quantity for 40 and we waited while the machine printed out 40 identical tickets.  “Anything else?”  “Yeah, gimme the Daily, 1-2-3, a buck straight, 40 times.”  Again we waited for the little machine to gasp out 40 more identical tickets.  “Anything else?”  And this was when He of We said “No, you’ve reached your limit.  Are you trying to make certain that if you should in your wildest fantasy actually hit both of those numbers that by spreading out your 60 dollar wager the IRS won’t figure out you’ve won around $20,000 because you did it 50 cents at a time!?  Now, move along please.”  Well, actually He of We just thought that and breathed a sigh of relief when the big spender asked for one more pick but more conventionally taking just the one wager and then passed a handful of bills to the still robotic young man.

Yet another shopping outing of ours put us into the main aisle of a national chain of stores that claims to provide items for the bedroom, bathroom, and other rooms beyond those two.  It seems odd that almost half of the store is dedicated to kitchen items and that kitchen isn’t in the store’s name but then we didn’t name that store so what do we know?  In that main aisle we stopped to peruse one of the several clearance shelves.  It is quite thoughtful that the store tags its clearance items with the reason for the item being on clearance.  ‘Last one,’ ‘demo,’ ‘returned,’ ‘only 1 of a pair.’  All very helpful.  But one of their reasons was “broken.”  It was there that we noticed that many of the items on the shelf were tagged with that very reason.  A clock was broken.  A storage box was broken.  A lamp was broken.  It would seem that if an item is broken, that to sell it means the store doesn’t place much value on its customers’ intelligence.  It’s almost as it they are saying, “If you make it cheap enough, people will buy anything.”  And from the picked over look that the clearance section had, it seemed that many people had at least semi-seriously considered many of those items before deciding to move along, with or without encouragement.

So we’ve noticed that not only are the customers getting a little batty but so are the shopkeepers.  Actually we don’t mind a little insanity in the shopping place.  It makes for some lively dinner conversation and provides us with a bit of caution to not be too batty out there ourselves.  But then, as long as you don’t dally and keep moving along, not many will notice.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Too Much of a Good Thing

Michael Leave a comment

Don’t you just love it when one of life’s questions finally gets answered?  When that thing that has never been at the forefront of thought but always hovering around the subconscious is finally resolved? When you can finally say, “Oh, yeah.”

Both of We have three children.  All three of the Little We’s are in their 20’s, gainfully if not ideally employed, with their own cars, clothes, gym memberships, monthly bills, and spending money.  Three children, two families, one burning life’s question.  Do we do too much for our children?  Sit back and let us tell you She of We’s story.

Number Two Son of She was at the airport.  Just a matter of days ago he was flying west to embark on a weekend away as young ones are now so inclined to do to visit strange cities where the strange inhabitants have a curious habit of dying their river a strange green.  But that’s a tale for a different day.  This one begins and ends at the airport.  Our airport.  The departing city.

This story began several trips ago that Number Two Son of She takes with some regularity.  They are almost always by plane and almost always end up with him missing the last leg of his journey leaving whoever (three guesses) was assigned to collect him at the local airport stranded at the airport.  But it was a habit and one that that seemed would forever end with whomever (three guesses) stranded at the airport or waiting for the call that he is finally about to board a plane home and would be there sometime within the hour or two.  So it wasn’t that He of We would not have expected Son of She to be calling She of We, but not so soon.

But sooner rather than later the call did come and with it came our life’s question, do we do too much for our children. A call that began sort of innocently with a seeming innocent question.  Did She of We have Son of She’s spare car key?  No, but why?

It seemed that after years of explaining, rationalizing, cajoling, complaining, and persuading, She of We convinced Son of She to drive himself to the airport and deposit his car in one of the long term parking lots ($8.00 per day, no hourly rate).  So convinced was Son of She that he actually discovered another traveler among his friends to the very same destination for the very same duration and offered him a ride to and from the airport.  Presumably for the low price of $4.00 per day.  No hour rate.  And off for the airport they set, their sights set on the gate labeled Extended Parking.  They must have not set their sights so high as to see the overhead sign not reading Extended Parking, rather they entered the parking mecca at the gate labeled Short Term Parking ($2.50 per hour, maximum daily rate $25.00).

Yes, he finally was convinced.  Son of She, finally convinced that he could drive himself to the airport did just so, and shortly after his arrival there made the call to She of We.  It was the call from the airport relating this very tale.  But the tale was not told just for its entertainment value.  It concluded with a request for her to drive 20-some miles to the airport with his spare key so that she could move his car into one of the long term lots that she had so often spoke of. And shortly thereafter was the call from She of We to He of We with that question, do we do too much for our children?

Do we?  Daughter of He still lives at home in the very room she shared with her childhood stuffed animals.  And is still sharing.  Number One Son of She resides in a second house of hers that could be rental income but is serving much better as Son Cave as he manages his own growing contracting company.  Number Two Son of She recently purchased his own house, able to convince the mortgager that he was good for it because he is one of the gainfully employed, his gainful employment at the favor calling of She of We who realized long before he what kind of job he would otherwise land with an undergraduate political science degree.

And still they ask.  And still do we.  Do we do too much for our children?  For the record, She of We did not make that journey yet we still wonder.  And we wonder that it is a wonder that someone thought it was quite reasonable even just to ask.  And there probably is the answer.  Maybe.  Possibly. Sort of.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

A sucker and his money are soon strangers

Michael Leave a comment

P. T. Barnum said “There’s a sucker born every minute.” W. C. Fields said “It is morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money,” then went on to say “Never give a sucker an even break.” Well, we seem to be two of them even though born about 400,000 minutes apart, who willingly handed over our hard-earned money, and couldn’t have gotten a break even if we tried. We’ll be happy to explain.

You’ll recall we recently took a mini-vacation to Niagara Falls, the ones on the New York side of the river. It was there, in the Niagara Falls State Park, inside the conveniently located NFSP Visitors’ Center, that the State of New York recognized us and another 10 or 12 visitors as the suckers we so clearly must be. After visiting their facilities and sharing a $4.00 soft drink we decided to view the IMAX film, Niagara Legends of Adventure at the Niagara Adventure Theater. Thanks to all the Niagara myths and legends and spirits, and that it was winter, we got to take advantage of the low, low, half-off the regular admission winter rates. If we had to pay the full price to see a re-enactment of the legendary Seneca wedding featuring a runaway bride, a runway barrel with a runaway teacher and cat contained therein, a runaway steam boat chugging downstream, and a runaway family afternoon in the park ending with the runaway Seneca bride hanging out under the falls while all around her fall over the falls, we’d have felt dumb. (There’s more to the story than that –well, actually, no, there isn’t.) And once the 30-some minute show was over we got to exit. And so we did, directly into the visitor center gift shop. And it was there than we did what any self-respecting visitors do. We bought overpriced souvenirs and marveled at the deals we were getting.

Except for the extremely hokey and overpriced movie, the visitor center was what we’ve come to expect from the average tourist attraction. The truth is, including the extremely hokey and overpriced movie, the visitor center was what we’ve come to expect from the average tourist attraction. And we ask, why?

This isn’t the first hokey movie we’ve seen on vacation. (See “We’re On Vacation, Part 3.” In fact, see all three parts of “We’re on Vacation” under the Travel tab.) And it’s not the first time we’ve been unceremoniously dumped into the gift shop after a hokey movie. But it was the first time that we stopped ourselves from grabbing at the gaudy-colored, poorly screened t-shirt that proclaims to the world that we are living proof that P. T. Barnum was right. Who decided that every vacation must end with a purchase of the vacation spot emblazoned across a t-shirt. They are like the designer bag for the vacation set and say, “I have arrived,” or “I have been taken.”  Other souvenirs are at least useful.  Shot glasses and coffee cups can hold coffee and shots, bumper stickers and decals can be pasted to car bumpers or other places, magnets can be stuck on refrigerators. Hoodies keep out the chill. Sleep shirts keep in the warmth. Plates commemorate. Thimbles decorate. Post cards enunciate. But T-shirts? Twenty-nine dollar t-shirts?  They just get dusty in drawers until they get to become dust rags.

So we got to see a magnificent natural sight. And then got taken in a typical man-made fright. It’s all in a vacation. By the way, did you know you can get commemorative mittens? Now that’s practical.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Over a Barrel

Michael Leave a comment

We went away last weekend.  We’d have loved to have gone to a South Pacific island, inhabited or not, but we went about 200 miles and that was still covered in snow in many places.   That sounds familiar.

We did say last week that we were going away.  It’s a little different for us to be travelling in late winter but not unheard of.  We spend most every year right around the Spring Solstice at one or another of our local maple festivals.  We’re urban enough that to find an area with enough sugar maples to be of commercial interest we have to travel at least one overnight.  But that’s not far and it’s for a particular event.  This last weekend we went to an honest to gosh tourist attraction that probably 85% of its tourists are attracted to in the three summer months of each year.  Still we had a great time.

It is a natural wonder and the wonder of nature is that it’s open year round.  We wondered why more people don’t visit in the winter months.  You’re having a little trouble following us.  Let us explain.  We spent the last three days at Niagara Falls, New York.  Both of us have seen the Falls from the Canadian side though not together.  There is no question the view from Canada is spectacular, pulling in almost all 3,500 feet of water spilling into the Niagara Gorge from the three drops, Horseshoe, American, and Bridal Veil Falls in a single head-on view.  But there are sights seen only from the American side for which we were completely unexpected.

From the American side one can approach to within feet of the America Rapids as the river increases to speeds of up to 30mph before tumbling 100 feet into the lower river basin at a rate of 75,000 gallons per second.  At the crest of the falls the rock beneath the water is clearly visible to those standing not much more than a yard away from the rushing water.  We spent some time on Goat Island separating the American falls pair from Horseshoe Falls.  On the Island we were able to see the almost constant rainbow that seems to appear above the mist at the American Bridal Veil Falls.  A short walk away and we were able to see some of the famous horseshoe’s mist hovering higher than the fall’s crest.  Because it is still the winter off-season we were unable to visit Luna Island and stand between the American Falls and the Bridal Veil Falls literally within feet of the Niagara River on either side.

All this can be seen winter or summer and we wonder why more people don’t seem to speak much of the American side when considering a vacation to the border cities.  But then as we did our own tour of the New York city we wondered ourselves what we were ever going to do when the thrill nature was providing stopped and we still had time to go before check-out.  We wondered as we passed closed tourist shops, empty small convention capable buildings, and even a tourist information center posted “for sale by owner.”  But between a bit of shopping, a little gambling, and a lot of sight-seeing, we managed to fill the weekend.  And we filled a binder full of ideas for some great stories.

So as we did last summer we’ll invite you now to stay tuned while over the next few weeks we’ll sneak in a story or two of our winter wonderland mini-vacation.  And we’ll start with a thank you to She of We’s collective offspring who gifted us with this unusual, but enjoyable late winter get-away.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Springing Forward

Michael Leave a comment

We’re going away this weekend.  We’d love to be going to a South Pacific island, inhabited or not, but we’re only going about 200 miles from where we are and that’s covered in snow right now.

We’ve been looking forward to this weekend since early December.  Maybe earlier.  Before you get ahead of us, we’ve not been planning our little weekend gateway some 200 miles from here since early December.  But we have been looking forward to this weekend since then.  Why?  Daylight Saving Time begins.  This Sunday at 2:00 am, as if by magic, it will become 3:00am.  That means where it will be dark at 6:30 this evening will be light at 6:30 Sunday evening.  No longer will we have to go to work and come home in the dark.  Maybe
one or the other but not both. So what if it only lasts until November 3.  We can’t wait.

People respond positively to light.  We live better with light, we live longer with light, we’re happier with light.  There are studies to prove all that.  The most convincing study is us.  We’re sick of it turning dark before we’ve even pulled dinner out of the oven.  Heck, there are some days that we’re sick of it turning dark before we’ve even pulled the car out of the garage at work.  We need light.  We crave light.  We love light.

Maybe that’s a little melodramatic but you get the idea.  We like light.  Apparently so did Benjamin Franklin who first proposed the idea although it was some hundred and twenty years later before it was accepted and began to take hold across the world.  It was never accepted without some controversy.  Controversial or not, we do better with more light in the evening than in the morning.  Eventually the morning will catch up anyway.

If people don’t universally accept Daylight Saving Time, we understand.  It was well into the 1890’s before there was even any sort of standard time in the United Sates and that was invoked by the railroads that insisted on keeping to a schedule.  Before that, whatever time was on the church steeple or the front of the bank or on some other prominent clock around town was whatever time it was around town.  Eventually people got used to the idea of there being some sort of time standard.  Eventually they’ll come around to our way of thinking that more light in the evening is a good thing.

But there is just one problem.  We’re going away this weekend.  Because we’ll be setting our clocks ahead an hour on Sunday morning we’re going to lose an hour of our mini-vacation.  We’ve had some pretty rough weeks at work lately and can really use the time off.  Do you think we can convince the hotel to push check out time forward an hour as well?  We can use all the hours off that we can get.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

The Happiest Place in the World

Michael 5 Comments

With our most sincere apologies to Walt Disney, the Disney parks together or separately are not the happiest place on — well, they have it copyrighted so you might think it’s so or else how could they, but we really don’t think so.

We have been thinking about happy places and where the happiest place in the world is.  We asked some friends and relatives, and some who are both where their happiest places might be.  We got beaches, favorite vacation spots, fabulous restaurants, designer shops, and even not yet invented places.  All good choices and all somebodies’ happy places.  But not universal.  One man’s beach may be another’s sun burn spot.  The jeweler who boasts the happiest place two days before Valentine’s Day may be someplace entirely different the weekend after.  A designer bag coup for one could be a mark of arrogance to another.  And while life-size Snow Whites and Gastons may be awe inspiring to certain youngsters, others may cower at the sight at a six foot tall mouse or a Pooh who is big enough to hold the young one cradled in his arms at night.

Happy places all perhaps.  But happy places to all?  Not on your life.

You must suspect by now that we have someplace particular in mind.   We do.  No, it’s not one of our vacation spots nor a favorite getaway location.  It has almost nothing to do with fabulous purchases that may be the envy of most who we will meet in a morning elevator ride to the office.  It’s not a specific spot in nature nor a non-specific spot where they do unnaturally good things to some favorite foods.  Nope, it’s none of those.  Where in the world could it possibly be?  It’s the dollar store!

Yes, the dollar store must be the happiest place in the world.  Not one of the imitation dollar stores that are dollar stores only because they have the world “dollar” in their store name.  Copyrighted or otherwise.  We mean the real dollar stores, the ones where everything’s a dollar, every item, every day, every trip.  Where 5 dollars buys five items (tax extra).  Where there are no express lines because no one can buy twelve items or less in a trip around those aisles.  Where there are things that haven’t been seen on retail shelves since – well, since the last dollar store stocked up.

How did we come to this conclusion?  We were recently in need of a couple of gift bags.  All things being equal, all gift bags are equal.  After years of unscientific research we have come to the conclusion that the $1.00 gift bags found in the dollar store are the same color, construction, volume, and with the same rope handles as the $6.99 national card store gift bags.  So to the dollar store we went, armed with the color and style of the bags we wanted and a twenty dollar bill for all the other stuff we’d find there. 

We pulled up in front of our local dollar store, just a spot or two away from the door.  As we were undoing our seat belts and planning our shopping strategy, we noticed several shoppers coming out of the store.  Not a single one was empty-handed.  Not a single child was being warned to wait until they got home.  Not a single shopper was not broad faced smiling, content in the knowledge that bargains had been had that evening.  Bargains indeed, and every one of the a dollar.

Once inside the magic continued.  There was not one screaming child.  Why should there be?  If a child wants a carrot colored and shaped baseball bat there is one hanging prominently on the wall.  Give it to the kid.  After all, it’s only a dollar.  There was not one couples complaint.  If he wants a 16 ounce tumbler and she wants the red wine goblet, get them both.  A set of 4 each will still return you change from your 10 dollar bill.  Can’t decide between the St. Patrick’s Day shamrock head band and the Easter Bunny ears for the family pooch?  Don’t decide, get ’em both.  And don’t fret that the doggie usually makes dinner out of one or the other.  They’re only a dollar!

We tell you now, the proof is in.  The happiest place in the world isn’t inhabited by six foot tall mice.  The happiest place in the world is your local dollar store! (Does anybody have change for a fifty?  There are some limits to happiness.)   

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

The Price of Popcorn

Michael Leave a comment

“I’ll see your two small popcorns and raise you a medium soft drink.”

“You’re bluffing.  There’s your medium drink and I’ll raise you a soft pretzel.  With honey mustard.”

Over the past several years we’ve done remarkably well seeing all of the Academy Award nominees.  Not necessarily in the same year they are nominated, but eventually.  And we’ve done remarkably well seeing entertaining movies also.  They aren’t always the same you know.  But every so often there comes a critically acclaimed movie that ends up walking away with all the awards that we also like.  Those are the two- popcorns-two-drinks movies. And then there are those that everybody says we have to see so we do.  Usually they end up walking away with all the awards and frankly, we wouldn’t even waste the price of a box of Milk-Duds on all of them put together.

Sometimes the movies are the big hits.  And sometimes they are the big flops.  But hit or miss, we still go to see them.  And when we’re there we never go in without our popcorn.  We invite you to join us as we place value on today’s film offerings based on concession stand items.

It makes sense.  You can see a movie any day of the week, any time of the day and the price varies.  The movie doesn’t.  The winners are winners on Tuesday afternoon just as much as they are on Friday night. If it’s a dog, it barks every time it’s played.  First run, second run, it’s still either running away with it all or just running away.  Just because we have to pay $4.00 more after 4:00 it doesn’t get 40% better.  Nope, there is no correlation between the admission for a movie and how good is that movie.  So when some smarmy film critic says, “It wasn’t worth the price of admission” what admission are we to assume?

Yet with all the variances in how much a theater will charge to get you into the seat, they know their gold standard is what is so prominently displayed well before you make your way to those seats.  The concessions!  Popcorn is popcorn and it’s $10.00 for a medium one of them any show, any day, any time.  Not long ago we were at an afternoon showing of one of this year’s best picture nominees.  It was a matinee so we got in for the low, low price of $14.00 for the both of us.  Two small popcorns and drinks later, He of We had dug out another $20.00.  We were almost outraged that the snacks cost more than the main dish.  But a few weeks earlier we were at the evening showing of a movie that we enjoyed but will never have “Oscar Winner” on its DVD cover.  Admission for two?  $24.00.  Popcorn and pop for both?  $20.00.  Here we have our measure of comparison!  Not admission. 

We paid more for what was put out as fluff, marketed as fluff, and played as fluff than we did to see the award winning performance in a movie everyone has talked about since it was released months ago.  Had we watched those two movies on the opposite days and times that we did, would we have instead gotten what we paid for?  It’s too hard to tell.  Every mathematician will tell you that solving simultaneous equations went out with the IBM 200.  One variable.  Period.  And that variable is the movie.  For sure.

So here is our gold standard for clear movie worth.  If after you see the movie you first thought is, that wasn’t worth the price of the popcorn, you won’t be watching it when it comes out on your cable company’s Movies On Demand list.  Not even the free one.  On the other hand, if your initial reaction is “that was worth more than the biggest, saltiest, butteriest popcorn, I’ve ever had,” and you wish you had even more, you’ll be back next week for an encore. 

It only makes sense. The price of admission goes up, goes down, goes half-off, and gets the Entertainment Book coupon special all to put seats in those seats.  And it’s all to get you in the door. Once you’re through those doors they bring out the big gun. The ultimate money-maker. The true measure of entertainment success. Snack food!

That’s because sometimes the movie is the attraction, and sometimes it’s there just to accompany the popcorn.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

An Oscar Winning Performance

Michael Leave a comment

The Academy missed an award last night.  That was the best performance by an individual or individuals who are supposed to be care givers but clearly don’t care.  The nominees were:

Your doctor who said you really needed to lose about 10 pounds between appointments and on your way out asked you if you’ve been to the new seafood house off the interstate.  But he lost his edge when you returned 6 months later and measured out only an 8 pound loss.  He had the chance to chastise you for the un-lost pounds, instead he said was that you did well and you’ll get those last two pounds in another month or two.

The second nomination was a group effort that went to the local nursing home administration in total for their performance before the local television news reporter when refusing to answer questions on air about the apparent loss of 3 residents who wandered away from the facility and hadn’t been seen for 2 days, the alarm being raised only after a family member of one of the missing elders reported the situation to the police.  In what looked like a lock for this award the group lost their opportunity to take home the gold when it was discovered that the administrator had already disciplined, fired, and reported to the state licensing boards the entire nursing staff that was on duty the day the three just walked through a door that was supposed to be locked but was left open so staff memebers could sneak outside for a smoke break.  They further fell from consideration when after they found the trio they not only welcomed them back without trying to blame the oldsters but then gave them a month’s stay for free.

The third nominee was a dark horse, your very own auto mechanic who said on three different occasions that he couldn’t find the same noise you heard every time you turned left on a gravel road.  Just when everyone was certain that he was going to charge you an arm and a leg for each visit and double dip by charging the warranty company as well, he found the problem, made a call to some mechanic friends of his, fixed your problem for parts only, then reported the issue to the manufacturer who is now recalling all 5 million models for the same safety repair.  In a surprise move, the National Transportation Safety Board awarded your mechanic the Silver Torque Wrench for unrelented test driving.

And the winner is…your dentist.  This supposed integral cog of your health care team takes the first five minutes of each of your semi-annual visits to harangue you for not flossing, not flossing enough, not flossing with the right kind of floss, or not flossing correctly, while scraping at your defenseless teeth with a metal probe the size of Rhode Island, refusing to let you inhale for periods of up to 3 minutes, and then telling you on your way out that he no longer takes your insurance, payment is expected immediately, don’t forget to make your next appointment, and please, have a nice day.

Congratulations!

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Credit Where Credit Is Due?

Michael 1 Comment

Over the last couple of weeks, we’ve seen a lot of movies.  It must be winter.  It’s much more comfortable sitting in a cozy theater nibbling on popcorn than speeding around an ice skating rink at 15 miles per hour in 15 degree weather.  Then again, maybe we just like movies better.  For whatever reason, over the last couple of weeks we’ve seen a lot of movies.

You’ll remember that a couple of weeks ago we wrote about watching a television network’s idea of the greatest movie ever filmed.  We disagreed with that but we watched it all the way through.  It was from the 1940’s so you really didn’t have to watch it all the way through to read all the credits.  They were all in front of the movie, some before the title, some after, and all of them taking a grand total of about a minute to read.

The movie that we saw most recently was filmed in the 1990’s and was nobody’s pick of the greatest movie ever filmed but not a bad story.  We stayed at the end of the movie to read the credits all the way through.  That took about 7 minutes.  Then there was the last of the new releases that we saw in the cozy theater with the popcorn.  It was nominated for a bazillion Academy Awards and someday will be on somebody’s list of the greatest movies ever filmed but we’ll probably disagree with that also.  We stayed all the way through to read those credits and those took about 15 minutes to read. 

So where are we going with this?  We aren’t sure either but we wonder who all these people are.  Some of them clearly have something to do with the movie.  That might be the Third Unit Director.  Director of any unit should have something to do with the movie important enough to get noticed.  But Assistant Paint Foreman?  We’re not kidding.  How about Catering Auditor?  We don’t doubt that somewhere in the making of this movie somebody audited the caterer’s invoices.  And for that they are mentioned at the end of the movie.  Hmm.   

Many people are involved in bringing you your morning newspaper.  There are the writers, the editors, the publisher.  These peoples’ names are prominently mentioned so you can ooh and ahh over them.  And several people are required to get you your semi-annual teeth cleaning.  There is the dentist and then there is the hygienist, and the office receptionist.  You probably won’t see the name of the person who services the dental chair on your dentist’s statement any more than you’ll see the person who changes the oil in the car of the person who delivers you newspaper noted on the masthead.  Yet aren’t these the equivalent of the catering auditor? 

So we have to ask, are we being too generous with the credits for those who work in the movies, or not generous enough with those who really make a difference in our lives.  We wonder about that.  We really do.

 

The Real Reality Show Blog

Based on life as noticed by Both of We
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Will the Real St. Valentine Please Stand Up

Michael Leave a comment

Sunday evening we were at home having our Valentine’s Day dinner.  (Steak au poivre, green beans sautéed in butter and olive oil with onions and mushrooms, baked potato with a pepper cream sauce, and a salad of mixed greens with strawberries, walnuts, and feta.  We never made it to dessert.) (Yes, we go out a lot but we still know how to cook and cook we do when it’s a truly special occasion.)  Work schedules and other conflicts forced us to hold our celebration off for a few days.  It happens.  And it was worth the wait.      

While we were dining we wondered what is it about this Valentine guy that has made greeting card companies, florists, jewelers, and for some, restaurants so much money around the globe and over the years.  The most common story is that of Valentine, priest and martyr of third century Rome during the reign of Claudius II, also known as Claudius the Cruel.  He believed that his army was not giving its all because the men were more attached to their wives and families than to their emperor.  To solve that little problem he banned marriages.  No marriages, no families, strong fighting men.  He didn’t count on Valentine still performing marriage ceremonies even under the ban.  Valentine was imprisoned and ordered to be executed.  While in prison Valentine became enamored with the daughter of his jailer and legend goes on to say that on his last day in prison he wrote her a farewell letter and signed it, “With Love, Your Valentine.”

We sort of like that story.  It has a love interest, a creepy villain, a secret plot twist (priests aren’t supposed to fall in love with women, even in the late 200’s), and a story that hangs around even after almost 1,750 years.  But there are other stories.  There were other Valentine’s, other Valentines who were priests, and other Valentines who were martyred and became saints.  We still like that story.  And it is St. Valentine of Rome whose feast day was set to the day of his execution, February 14.

But how did that get from there to a Hallmark moment?  Let’s fast forward some 1100 years from the 270’s to the 1370’s and to English poet Geoffrey Chaucer.  In the poem Parliament of Foules he wrote, “For this was sent on Seynt Valentyne’s day Whan every foul cometh ther to choose his mate” and thus linked February 14 as the day we go in search of our best link.  In fact, it was already becoming common in late 13th and 14th century England and France for lovers to exchange letters, poems, and gifts in mid-February as the weather lightened.

There are many Valentines who have been canonized by many Popes over many years. (There was even a Pope Valentine.  He served for only 40 days in 827.)  In all there are 12 St. Valentines, the most recent, St. Valentine Berrio-Ochoa, a Spaniard who served as bishop in Vietnam until his beheading in 1861, was elevated to sainthood by John Paul II in 1988.  Twelve Valentine’s, twelve months.  We didn’t do the research but you can probably find a St. Valentine Day almost any time of the year if you, like us, were busy on February 14.    

Then, when you have another one as special as we have in each other, every day can be a day to celebrate your love for each other, even if it isn’t the real Valentine’s Day.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?