The Associated Press published an article yesterday, “Teens say they are turning to AI for friendship.” Teena quoted in the article indicated that the use of AI for help with schoolwork is nearly universal, nearly 70% of them at some point, and half of them regularly have used an AI Companion as a “digital friend.” A survey cited in the article determined “31% of teens said their conversations with AI companions were “as satisfying or more satisfying” than talking with real friends.”
As the story was picked up by local papers and news outlets, comments on it picked up, many of the “that’s scary” type. I think what’s scary is how this demonstrates how bad teens are to other teens, especially as other surveys have noted how bullying is skyrocketing, not like we’re seeing it among adults more than ever and coming from the Oval Office on a daily basis.
The survey studied the AI habits of 1,000 teens over two months. The researchers were taken back by their findings, concerned that teens will not be able to assimilate into society without having peer to peer interaction. They didn’t see then when one 18 year old said, ““AI is always available. It never gets bored with you. It’s never judgmental. When you’re talking to AI, you are always right. You’re always interesting. You are always emotionally justified,” he was describing a companion to replace the real ones who were always judgmental and emotionally damaging.
A person, even a teen, wants to feel valued. In the social media blurb to yesterday’s Uplift we began, “Nobody likes to be taken advantage of.” That’s the bully’s prime motivator – to take advantage of others’ insecurities and take without concern. Although our discussion revolved around misappropriated gratitude, we can say from personal experiences that when others perceive us as valued contributors, our self-esteem grows. As self-esteem grows, the need for validation from others decreases as we can provide our own validation.
This is what teens need. People to see them and thank them for being them. Not to have on a friend they created from a companion bot.
That Gratitude Attitude suggests some basic ways to recognize and show appreciation to people for being themselves. We even dove into the family setting. Take a look, practice daily gratitude, and save a teen from having to build a friend.
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The Real Reality Show Blog 
As self-esteem grows, the need for validation from others decreases as we can provide our own validation.
I know that’s true but I also know as a teenager I was filled with doubt all the time. It was my default. While I dislike AI on principle, I also can understand why teens are turning to it for friendship. If it gives them the confidence to be more sure of themselves, it *might* be good. I dunno, but definitely food for thought here.
I think it’s definitely kids looking out for themselves because nobody else will. Reading the article was eye opening. These kids aren’t abusing AI, having it do their homework. They ask the ChatGPT type AI for help then go to their companion AI to hang out.
I appreciate that you’re raising the concerns and the topic, overall, Michael. There’s so much vulnerability for everyone right now and from the (admittedly) small sample set in my world, the fear of rejection is incapacitating for many – teens and adults of all ages. What you offer here in so many of your posts is the reminder that kindness counts. Thank you. Thank you! 💕
Thank you, thank you Vicki! When kids can’t find the kindness they crave they build, literally build a relationship with someone/something who can extend kindness ess and compassion
Always appreciate your posts, Michael. Thank you so much. 🥰
😊
When I was a teen, most of my friends were in books. I had several real ones, but if it wasn’t for authors who created some of the nicest people in my world, I’d have been lost. They never talked back to me, but I didn’t mind! I’m sure I’d have grabbed an artificial friend (adding the word intelligence to the phrase AI is cringy), but thank goodness we didn’t have that option in the 70s and 80s. I wish today’s world didn’t.
I trusted most adults, newspapers, and the friends I had. People today have little trust in anyone, unless they are a twix or other social grab. Which is sort of odd. I have some of my favorite peoples in my phone and address book…people I’ve never met in real face time, that I found in WP! And I’d trust them with a lot.
You bring up a good point. Even in the BC years (before computers) we had artificial friends and often they kept us going. Thank you Kris!
We should all be concerned about this, that AI is more satisfying and more present than living people, treating teens better than living, breathing human beings. I fear we’ve lost sight of how to be a friend, how to reach out and care for someone without judgment and criticism, without comparison or bullying. You make some great points, Michael, especially that no one likes to be taken advantage of. Have we missed helping our kids know what true gratitude is? How to be kind and caring? How to treat others as better than ourselves? This is eye-opening. You’ve given me a lot to think about.
We really have lost our way too be human. Too many people still find emotionally needy children weak, including the parents. It’s artificial. The AI companions “know” what will elicit positive reactions from the kids and the kids thrive on that. Humans know what elicits good feelings except as a society we’ve become too concerned making ourselves happy. Oh one hand I’m appalled children have to turn to AI for companionship and in the other I’m thrilled they’ve figured out a way to solve their own problem.
And how sad is that they need to rely on something or someone that isn’t real.
So sad it has to be something like AI. When we were kids I’m sure everyone had a “friend” of their own, a stuffed animal, a doll, a pretend friend. The difference, we were building creative skills at the time and learning to solve our own problems. Sometimes.
And creativity is going the way of the world with AI as well. We’re forgetting how to think outside the box because we’re allowing a robot of sorts to create our box.