Driving around here you might see just about anything on the road. Still, when a large turkey led a group of 3 others from one side of the road to the other that I happened to be motoring my way along one morning last week, the first thought I had was “hmm, turkeys.” The second thought was “Oh shit, she’s fast!” (I didn’t have time to consider all the possible gender permutations and for birds, those probably still stop at two) when this one wasted no time strolling over to my open window to see what that crazy human was doing stopped in the middle of where they wanted to walk and what was that thing I was aiming at her. (Or him.)
After I got the window rolled up and the car back in gear and moving cautiously around the mini-brood I had my third thought. Why were the turkeys crossing the road? Why were they leaving the confines of high brush and much vegetation for the open back lot of a used car dealer? I didn’t think they were interested in a slightly used minivan but with turkeys who knows.
Some things I thought as the day wore on were:
They were released from a nearby turkey farm where the business was downsizing due to the anticipated lessened demand for turkeys, particularly the larger ones, this upcoming holiday season. Although … these seemed of the quite wild variety. Thus my next thought.
They were visiting relatives still held captive at the nearby turkey farm and/or visiting said farm to attempt a release of said relatives due to the anticipated lessened demand for turkeys this upcoming holiday season. But … that seemed somewhat implausible given that the average turkey is probably more intelligent than the average politician and therefore not given to such flights of fancy as to believe she (or he) (it?) could out talk a farmer, or talk a farmer out of a herd of turkeys. Herd? Flock? Bunch! On to the next thought.
They were off to the large mega mart further up the road in the direction of their travel to take advantage of the discounted pricing of the fall version wrapper of snacks and candies to make way for the winter version wrapper for snacks and candies and in particular to score big on candy corn which has no winter equivalent. Then I realized I was on to something indeed! My final thought.
Why did the turkeys cross the road? To get to the candy corn! That perfect, super food that tastes better than kale and doesn’t stain like blueberries with it’s own holiday that’s not Halloween or Thanksgiving. (I know that’s all true because I read it on the Internet not just a year ago. In fact I know that’s true because I wrote it and posted it to the internet not just a year ago. All except the blueberry part. That’s new for this year. Always improving!)
So this Friday when you’re looking for something to celebrate other than the impending short reprieve of political ads, National Candy Corn Day is October 30 this year and every year. If you’re one of the weirdos who isn’t a fan of candy corn, cross the road and bring some to me. I’ll be busy looking up small turkey meal plans.
Gobble gobble!
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Fun fact to know and trade for the day–a group of turkeys is called a rafter. Which makes them sound like they’re on the ocean. Or teaming up with Huck Finn. Anyway, I love candy corn and how you can find fun and humor in just about anything.
I did not know that. A rafter. Different. I still like herd of turkeys. I guess I have to adapt to the new standard. Rafter. I never would have guessed that.