It’s that time again. Actually tomorrow is that time again. Technically tomorrow morning, around 9:30 give or take is that time again. Specifically tomorrow morning around 9:30 if you live in the northern hemisphere is that time again. It’s fall! Autumn. The end of summer. The autumnal equinox. All that stuff. And flu shot time!!!
Yes it’s time for me to harass the unsuspecting, cajole the semi-suspecting, preach to the choir, and harangue whoever is left. Whomever? Whatever, just go get your flu shot.
The only legitimate reason to not getting a flu shot is because you don’t want to get a flu shot. And that isn’t. But really, if you don’t want want to get a flu shot just say you don’t want one, you don’t care that you may potentially infect billions of others, that you might contribute to trillions of dollars of economic losses or that you may be single handedly responsible for a facial tissue/acetaminophen shortage. But don’t say you will get sick, it doesn’t work, it’s too expensive, your doctor advises against it, or you are allergic to it.
Cue the harangue!
Excuse 1. You won’t get sick from the shot. You might get sick at the same time you get the shot and if that happens you would have gotten sick had you not gotten the shot anyway. The other thing that might happen is you’ll have a slight reaction to it. Your arm will be sore because they are sticking a small neeedle in it. Yes, that will hurt. Get over it! You might feel chills a few hours after. That’s because you’re body is getting ready to make the antibodies. That will go away in an hour or two if you get it at all. You might be tired for 2 or 3 days. Again, that’s normal. Your body is working hard bulking up for the onslaught of flu viruses and that takes work. Don’t be a wimp! You won’t be any more tired than after a hard day at the gym or a hard night at the bar back in the day.
Number 2. It does work. With a few caveats. It is not a miracle cure. No vaccine is. (Keep that in mind when a COVID vaccine eventually reaches the public.) The flu virus changes and the folks making the vaccine have to think like a virus and decide what form it will take this year. (Keep that in mind at COVID vaccine time also.) Sometimes they hit the nail on the head and all ends up right in the world. Sometimes they are close and you might not completely escape the little buggers but what you get is much less severe than had you not gotten the shot and don’t ever forget the worst that could happen is death. Slow, fevered, shaking, quaking death.
Non-reason the Third. Even if you don’t have insurance you can get a free flu shot. Many hospital systems and county and state health departments have free flu shot days because it’s cheaper to give away a vaccine that to treat the disease. Some retail pharmacies give free flu shots and some give you a shopping coupon equal to your cost. If you have insurance you are covered. All insurance plans must cover vaccines. You might have to go to a doctor or clinic of your carrier’s choice and/or you may have a co-pay but you are covered.Harangue Paragraph Four. If for some reason your doctor advises against a flu shot and you are certain he or she is a real doctor and didn’t just print a diploma down at Kinko’s, get a new doctor. You aren’t long for this world trusting your health to that person and not getting a flu shot is not increasing your odds.
Excuse the Fifth. There once was a time when egg allergies posed a serious limitation to the universal recommendation for flu shots. Likewise with gelatin and latex. Today’s flu shots are safe for almost all allergic patients. There are very very very very very very very very few exceptions. You may be one. You may also have won the Powerball. That does happen. If you are, you know you are and probably came close to death at some time and don’t want to do that again.
Epilogue: Nothing is perfect. There are two groups of people who should not get the flu shot in addition to the analogous lucky lottery winner. Group 1 – If you are not yet six years old don’t get the flu shot. If you are not yet six years old and you are reading this immediately ask somebody to play the Powerball numbers you are thinking of right now! The second group of people who should not get the flu shot are a subgroup of those with Guillian-Barre Syndrome. If you have a history of Guillain-Barre Syndrome talk to your doctor specifically about the flu shot. (Doctors advising against the flu shot under these circumstances are exempt from Harangue Paragraph Four.)
A special word about immunosuppressed individuals (like me) and pregnant women (not like me). We know some vaccines for us can be as dangerous as getting the disease. These are the live virus vaccines. Some vaccines actually contain weakened strains of the virus and these can overrun the weakened immune system in these individuals. An example of this is the early form of the shingles vaccine. But the flu shot is not a live virus. All FDA approved injectable flu vaccines are inactivated vaccines with no live virus. However, the nasal form of the flu vaccine contains weakened strains of live virus and these should not be used by immunocompromised individuals or pregnant women whose immune systems are already working double time. But there is no reason for an immunosuppressed or immunocompromised person not to get an injectable form of the vaccine. The shot’s mild side effects may be exaggerated or prolonged but it is still very safe. I had my vaccine Friday and Friday night I had some chills and in Saturday I didn’t feel like doing much but by Sunday afternoon I was my old self. One of these days I’m going to feel like my young self and when that happens, look out world! Oh. Sorry. I digress.
A special word for everyone. If you are already sick don’t get your flu shot now. Wait until your cold or infection passes then get the flu shot.
Now that all of that nonsense is out of the way, back to the business at hand. Do you remember when Fall would start on September 21? Fall was September 21, winter on December 21, Spring started March 21, and Summer came on June 21. Maybe the 22nd. None of this “Autumn begins at 9:31:27am September 22 when the sun is somewhere over the edge of the flat side of the world not visible by those perched on the pole pointing away from Venus while drinking a pumpkin latte on a horse drawn hay wagon.” Those were the good old days.
The Real Reality Show Blog 
You should get funding for this post. More people need to read it!
Ha! Thank you, I’ll submit my request to the CDC for a flu grant! Actually, if I can get all the people around me to minimize my exposure to the little bugs that would be funding enough.
Oh, to go to the clinic now that autumn’s here. cheers
Roll up your sleeve and say “ahh”