I was hoping to spend the remainder of our self isolation distributing nothing but good news and mad, happy thoughts. Sorry but I just can’t. Well, I suppose I could but I suppose I would also explode by keeping too much in. And so…look out world…
Just what the [bleep]ing [bleep] are you [bleep]ing thinking you crazy [bleep] [bleep] for brains you [bleep]ing idiots you!
No, no, not you. All those other you. The idiots you.
I know every year we have to come up with new words that the vast majority of people who use them have no clue what they mean. For Exhibit One I submit “xenophobe.” You would think this year’s entry, “social distancing,” wouldn’t create such confusion. Okay, I understand it’s actually two words but they are both pretty basic, or pretty [bleep]ing basic if you really want to capture my true thoughts on the subject.
Social: among people, not unlike social media. You recognize that don’t you? Again, not you. That other you.
Distance: Space, room, like when you (once more the idiots you) when you want some space, man.
I’m sure there are a lot of the you who are doing your part, but the few other you are making me sick. Hopefully not any sicker than I already am.
Some examples:
Last week Pittsburgh cancelled its St. Patrick’s Day parade scheduled for Saturday March 14 to protect the public. At the time a ban on dine in/drink in seating (or standing) at restaurants and bars had not gone into effect. Of course people were encouraged not to congregate in crowds larger than 250. (Again, that was at the time. Since then the recommendation had been dropped to 150, then 50, now 10, all over the course of 4 days.) Of course people ignored that. The bars sure did their part, one stating they weren’t letting more than 150 in the space that typically holds 340. Yay! Took real restraint to pull that off. Naturally those refused admittance just queued up outside. One reveler explained to a reporter, “I’ll live my life, I’ll do my thing and then address it if I have to.” In related news, no long lines of people waiting to pay homage to the good saint were reported outside any churches on the actual St. Patrick’s Day, which contrary to popular belief is not always the second Saturday in March.
Sorry, you can’t go in yet. We’re practicing Social Distancing in there.
An Allegheny County (Pennsylvania) sheriff reported to work not feeling very well. According to reports his son’s girlfriend just returned from Spain and tested presumptive positive for COVID-19. The Chief Deputy said the deputy who was experiencing symptoms “had concerns based on reported symptoms, and he made the decision to come to work.” The deputy interacted with 15 other deputies before he reported his symptoms to a supervisor who instructed all 16 to return home and self-isolate.
Somebody didn’t get the memo. Be the match. Don’t get burned.
Several states still waiting primary election days have postponed, rescheduled, or are considering rescheduling elections or encouraging voting by mail ballots. Several organizations have protested such actions going so far as to file suits and request injunctions to halt any actions that delay voting. No individuals have entered such action, only groups claiming to be protecting Americans’ rights. I suppose protecting Americans right goes to some other groups.
Protecting Americans right!
Please, let me get back to sharing happy madcap adventures and the occasional report on my health that hopefully won’t get any weirder in the next 14 days.
Be well, stay safe, and don’t forget to wash your hands.
Be like me
The Real Reality Show Blog 
I love your pictures, but I love your insights even more. Why do people think they’re above this? That just because they choose not to honor restrictions, that’s okay with the rest of us who are seeking to flatten the dadgum curve. You are bleeping hilarious–and truthful!
Thank you Dayle. We will survive in spite of ourselves.
We Canadian are naturally standoffish (you captured a rare photo) so social distancing is in our DNA. Stay safe my friend
You likewise.
By the way, the picture was easy. He was defending his TP stash.