This is it. The last day of 2018 is here and everybody who is anybody has published his or her year in review. So who am I to buck tradition?

Last year was, ummm, different. That’s my review in 4 words. Ummm, 5 words? Here’s how I justify that statement. Sort of.

Health: Nope, has nothing to do with kidneys, dialysis, transplants, weird diseases, or even the growing number of states falling for “medical” marijuana. Did anybody else see the first needle-less injection device was developed by a Massachusetts medical device company? Think Dr. McCoy on Star Trek type injections. Hsssss. There, you’re done. Take it from someone who routinely (as in several times a week) gets stuck with needles the size of Bic pen cartridges, this is different, in an exciting way even.

Wealth: Stocks hit record highs this year. Stocks hit record lows this year. Often on consecutive days. Wow! That’s amazing! No, that’s computers doing what they were told to do. When prices fall they are programmed to buy, buy, buy. When prices rise they are programmed to (altogether now) sell, sell, sell. And whether their clients make money or lose money, Duke and Duke get their commissions. (Extra points for identifying that reference.) In the meantime, everybody from Marriott Hotels to Under Armour’s fitness app was breached last year. According to the cyber security company Positive Technologies as reported by USA Today, “When it comes to data breaches, 2018 was neither the best of times nor the worst of times. It was more a sign of the times. Billions of people were affected by data breaches and cyberattacks in 2018 … with losses surpassing tens of millions of dollars.” Billions of people affected and it’s just a “sign of the times.” Oh if only that would be different.

Business: Sears is about to become a Jeopardy question. (This former retail giant introduced the Discover Card in 1985.) Sorry. Not news. Sears has been going out of business since the early 1990s. The big business news for 2018 that nobody noticed was that Starbucks opened a store in Jamaica. Jamaica man. In the very shadow of the Blue Mountains. If you are a coffee drinker and you aren’t familiar with Jamaica Blue Mountain Coffee you aren’t a real coffee drinker (or really a coffee drinker) (or really a real coffee drinker). If you aren’t a coffee drinker but your drinking tastes run more to White Russians, you might have experienced Jamaica Blue Mountain Coffee as the main ingredient of Tia Maria liqueur. Yes, Tia Maria in a White Russian, not that Kahlua stuff. Not even Starbucks house blend. That would be too different.

Food: Recalls, recalls, recalls. Lettuce was downright dangerous to eat in 2018. Sorry. That’s not my biggest story. Television ads take an interesting turn during the holiday season. I’ve noted before if you go just by what you see on TV during commercial breaks you’d think people never buy jewelry, wine, or liquor except in December and one week in February. It was a liquor ad that piqued my interest. A high end vodka pushed by a former high end actor proudly noted that it is certified Non-GMO. Excuse me, if you are drinking so much vodka you need to worry if it’s GMOed or not, you need to be drinking something different.

Crime: There were 338 mass shootings in America in 2018. There were 365 days in America in 2018. You do the math. Is it more disturbing there is a website that lists those occurrences or that there is an organization that rebuffs those numbers because the organization that generated the list includes wounded among the victims thus skewing the results? What would be different is if somebody actually did something besides generate new sympathy memes.

Should I take a stab at what 2019 will be like? Personally, I’d like to see something different. Happy New Year. Please.