I was out driving in yesterday’s clear, cold, January afternoon when I decided that I don’t like driving in clear, cold, January afternoons. Well, it’s not that I don’t like driving in clear, cold, January afternoons. It’s that clear, cold, January afternoons come with a tremendous amount of glare. (Probably like clear, cold, July afternoons in Uruguay but I’m just supposing that.)

I don’t recall having glare issues until a few years ago. I’m not sure if I had better sunglasses before then, if sunglasses in general were better before then, if Polarizing (the trade mark kind, not what happens when you put Democrats and Republicans on the same Facebook page) actually worked before then, or if my eyes are just getting old and tired. Nah, can’t be that.

I don’t think I would have even considered the tremendous amount of glare associated with clear, cold, January afternoons had I not yesterday morning saw a commercial for new “tactical” glasses that supposedly dramatically reduce tremendous amount of glare. Again, among the things that I’m not sure of, I’m not sure if I’m a sucker for things that dramatically reduce glare, if I’m a sucker about things called “tactical,” if I’m a sucker for glasses in general, or if I’m just a sucker. Nah. If I was just a sucker I’d be a sucker for things in the Sky Mall catalog, not the As Seen On TV bounty.

I’m sorry. How did I get from Polarized sunglasses to being a sucker? Clearly it was the $5 scratch off lottery ticket winnings burning a hole in my pocket. So as soon as I got home I got online and looked up “tactical glasses as seen on TV.” You know, just in case I might be out on another clear, cold, January afternoon. Do you have any idea how many tactical glasses have been on TV?!?! Fourteen! From $14.88 to $69.

That’s when I realized that I really need a hobby. Or more winning scratch off tickets. Or I have to stay indoors on clear, cold, January afternoons.