In our last post we questioned the need for a digital video recorder to record 20 bazillion hours of programming 555 shows at a time.  Ok, perhaps we exaggerate a bit.  Whether 20 bazillion or 2,000, that’s a lot of dreck – umm, hours.  And a tool that can make that happen is a wonder.  As in, we wonder what they were thinking when they cooked that one up.

 “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” 

The “Just Becauses” are many in the world.  Do you recall not long ago the electric belt being peddled on TV.  Oh, they didn’t call it that.  It was called a muscle stimulating ab belt and it was to get your ab muscles exercising whether they wanted to or not.  Zip a jolt of electricity through a muscle and watch it “exercise.”  Right.  And if you believe that we have a backyard sauna box to sell you.

Do you have a lot of hair that needs the special shampoos and conditioners?  We’re not going down that aisle.  We’re going down the one next to it where the hair dryers are.  If you have a lot of hair and you can’t hold your hair dryer for as long as it takes to dry all your hair, you can be the proud owner of a gooseneck stand that will hold any hand held dryer and position it to anywhere around your head.  Now how about a comb with a pivoting head or an extended handle? 

Did you brush your teeth?  As often as you should?  For as long as you should?  Did you know you can buy a singing toothbrush?  Not just for kids.  Adult versions will keep you brushing as long as you should with a different tune every morning, afternoon, evening, and bedtime.  Uh huh.

The kitchen doesn’t want to be left behind in this glorious celebration of “Just Because.”  We know that kitchens are very personal places.  Many of our friends have slicers and dicers, blenders and bowls that we don’t always understand but won’t disparage their right to slice however they like.  But a hot dog slicer?  Marketed to prevent children from choking on hot dogs, this elongated egg slicer takes the place of — well, it takes the place of a knife.  And it comes with a warning to be used only by adults or with adult supervision.  Hmm.

You don’t even have to buy a “Just Because.”  If you have cable or satellite TV and you’re using one of their remote controls, you hold a “Just Because” in your hand every time you change the channel.  Do we really need 53 buttons on that remote?  (See Button, Button, They Have Too Many Buttons, Dec. 3, 2012, in Humor.)  Yes, “Just Becauses” are everywhere.  Outdoor accessories, clothing, storage solutions(?), toys, and tools. 

If you can’t walk through a mega mart or giant home improvement store without stopping in some aisle and asking yourself, “really?” then you too can sport the bumper sticker “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”  And as soon as we finish this post we’re going to see if we can’t get a few hundred thousand of them printed up.  We’re thinking $19.95.  We’ll see you in Aisle 3.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?