You know that we have never told you what to do or think or say.  Thinly veiled otherwise strongly worded suggested we have, but outright told, no.  We are now.  We are going to ask you to do just what we do and find all your Polo cosmetics and fragrances, dig out all your Lauren accessories, rummage through the closets and take out everything that has Ralph Lauren on the label, and burn them all.  If your local municipality prohibits open flames we will accept repeated slashes and then bury the remains.  And then don’t ever ever never buy any of his stuff again.  Ever.  Never.

Yes, we’re a little upset about the Chinese made U. S. Olympic Team uniforms.  There are so many other things that have hit the news wires this week, why of all things would we take such a drastic stand over clothes?  It’s the Olympics.  It is the ultimate in competition.  This is America.  We are nuts about competitions.  Put it together.  The ultimate in reality shows is about to take place and we’re sending our representatives there in somebody else’s clothes.

Nobody asked us but what we would have done was not even turned the design to a professional.  We would have taken advantage of those reality competition shows out there and let the “Project Runway” or similar contestants design the uniforms.  The Olympics are the grandest of all contests and should be represented by the best of the best.  We don’t pick our swimmers by holding open bids.  We don’t select our archers through a series of contract negotiations.  We don’t choose our sprinters based on who did good before.  Before they get to be competitors, they compete for the privilege.

If we had let the design of the uniforms to true competitors we’d probably have something uniquely identifiable.  Has anybody looked at these things?  There’s no mistaking them for anything other than Ralph Lauren designs.  He made sure of that by the size and placement of his logo exactly as it is on his U. S. Golf Open, U. S. Tennis Open, and Open Championship uniforms.  And you’d think somebody so American with so many U. S. credits would realize we haven’t worn berets in this country since Annie Hall premiered (and even she knew better than to wear one on screen).

Since we can’t go back and have the uniforms re-designed, let’s at least get them re-made.  Ralph Lauren has already said he will have the 2014 uniforms made in the USA.  That’s nice.  But we’re still letting the 2012 team go to London with zippers sewn in the shadow of the Great Wall.  Let’s face it, there is enough money in his various companies’ accounts and among several of the USOC members’ households that Lauren, et.al. could say, “We screwed up.  We’ll fix it and have the uniforms all re-made here and we’ll pay for it” and not notice the bill.  The amount spent on redoing the uniforms might be enough advertising for his companies that it would offset the bad publicity he has already received. 

Frankly, we don’t care why he doesn’t.  There’s 10 days to go before anybody has to see the Asian varieties and it can be done.  So just do it.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?