Today is January 2, the day resolutions die.  It might be more effective to make annual New Year’s Indecisions.  January 2.  It used to be the start of white sales.  Then they got pushed deeper into January and we’re not terribly sure anybody even still has white sales as we once knew them.  So even that inauspicious occasion has deserted the second day of the year.  Deserted it, just like all those resolutions. 

And why shouldn’t’ they.  Be real people, January is a terrible time to start a new year.  There is no astronomical occurrence that coincides with it.  There is no historical or pre-historical event that occurs with it.  It’s only claim is that it falls a week after Christmas and with most workers getting a couple days off for each of the holidays, if one was so inclined one can manage to take a whole week off without burning a whole week’s worth of vacation days. 

Yes, the only thing New Year’s Day is really known for is for continuing the stress of the holiday period.  We’re already overwhelmed with traditional foods and customs of one holiday and now we’re tossing in a whole different set of superstitions and menu restrictions to heighten our anxiety. What can we eat?  What can’t we eat?  Is the first person through the door carrying the right kind of bread with him?  Is the first person through the door a him?  Donuts, pretzels, or grapes?  Should the host drink first?  Do we need more gifts?  Which way is the wind blowing?  And on top of all that you want resolutions, too?  Yeah, right.

If New Year’s Day came later in the year, perhaps when the days are getting warmer and flowers are starting to bloom, then we can come up with some good resolutions.  Come see us when we’re not standing knee deep in used gift boxes trying to remember if they are recyclable, reorganizing our closets to make way for this winter’s post-holiday sizes, cleaning out the refrigerator of all the traditional holiday foods that everybody wanted but nobody ate.  Ask us to set goals when Mother Nature is setting some of hers, not when Old Man Winter is threatening to make a comeback from an overly mild December.

The ideal time for New Year’s would be late March, just about when spring is springing.  It’s far enough away from Valentine’s Day and Easter that we can use a holiday then.  The long depressing nights are over so our resolutions can be positive and begin with “we resolve that we will do this” like the start of a real goal rather than “we will never again do that” like the opening for a bad excuse.  Actually, up until a couple hundred years on the BC side of year counting, the beginning of the year was celebrated at the Vernal Equinox.  It wasn’t until the Ancient Romans with their penchant for tinkering with the calendar pushed it around to where it is today.

So our resolution for this year is to make our resolutions this spring.  Come see us then, but make sure you have a loaf of bread, a piece of coal, and a bag of money.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?