She called last weekend.  It was the first weekend in November and She was out shopping in one of our favorite stores.  Yes, it was a remainder store.  Hey, we love ‘em.  Remainder stores, dollar stores, restock stores.  The place that goods that won’t die go to be bargains.

But I digress…She called Him and said it was close to an international incident.  While shopping in one of our favorite stores she encountered others that one would have thought were shopping.  And they may have been shopping but what was very evident was that they were also shouting.  Yes, shouting from one side of the store to the other in some foreign tongue, something not easily identifiable but foreign for sure.  Did the fact that they knew that probably nobody in the store knew their language give these shouters license to intrude on the other shoppers’ shopping Zen?

At first it was somewhat alarming.  When you don’t know the language you don’t know if a shout is an expression of shopping joy over finding Anne Klein at 95% off or a scream of alarm about a raging inferno in women’s outerwear.  But it kept going on so it seemed more conversational.  Just your basic conversation between two parties who had lost their cell phones.  At a loud volume.  Very loud.

And that’s when the potential international incident raised its head.  After 5 or 6 volleys between the screamers She couldn’t take it.  “Geez!  A little store etiquette!”  She was annoyed, and not too quiet about it.

And that got us on our digression –annoying shopping things.  It was the first week of November.  Halloween had just passed.  Veterans’ Day was not yet here.  Thanksgiving wasn’t even on the shopping list.  But as early as it is the store – a leftovers shop! – was in full Christmas regalia complete with Silver Bells, White Christmas, and Rudolph’s red nose playing on the intercom.  At that high volume that gets you right in the comfort zone screaming Christmas is coming!  Shop now because the bargains you see today won’t be here tomorrow!!  Buy early!!! Buy often!!!! Buy, buy, buy!!!!!  It had that hidden message behind music just a little too loud and a little too fast that says get shopping, get spending, now go home and make room for others!  And if the subliminal message isn’t enough they have to punctuate it every 12 minutes with their in-store announcements.  “Attention shoppers, buy now because the bargains you see today might not be here tomorrow!  See the specials in aisle one through 14.  Stop at our service desk for a flyer of everything that’s on sale!  Today only, everything is on sale!”

And is it only us that when we work our way up to the cashier we’re greeted in 21^st century cashier monotone, “hellohowareyoudidyoufindeverythingyouwerelookingfor” while he/she/to be determined scans the first 8 items.  When we hand over our cash how do we get our change?  Bills first, coins sliding off the top, and a very heartfelt “There you go.”  When did “There you go” become synonymous with “Thank you!”  Listen up cashiers, the phrase you’re looking for is “Thank you!” (Emphasis added.)

Some annoyances we expect, some are new every year, but know that we’re entering the annoying zone, and we’ll all be stuck here for the next eight weeks. 

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?